This one doesn't have smut either, so I figured I'd double post again to make up for it. THe next chapter is a two-parter where things get intense. But anyways, here's another funny thing I wrote.
Chapter 6 - "Cana (or, Cana's A Total Perv and Lucy Gives Sexy Backrubs)
3rd Person POV
"Shhh! You have to be quiet!"
Cana stops in her tracks and looks around. There's no one else in the hallway, and as she takes a moment to listen, the only sounds she hears are those of the daily guild brawl happening in the main hall. She shrugs and starts walking again.
"Fuck that's good."
Cana whirls around the empty hall, her brows furrowing. Okay, I swear I heard someone.
"I'll stop if you can't be quiet," a female voice hisses from down the hall. Cana narrows her eyes, creeping closer to the door the voices are coming from. There was a low, masculine groan, and Cana's mouth immediately twisted into a lecherous smirk. She leaned against the door and pressed her ear against it. Oh man, this is some juicy stuff!
"Oh my god, where did you learn to do that?" the masculine voice groaned. Is that… is that Laxus? The card mage's eyebrows reached her hairline and her eyes sparkled with mischief. There was a muffled female hum followed by a low muffled moan. Cmon mysterious lady! Say something again! I can't figure out whose voice that is!
"And you say I'm the screamer," the female said sarcastically. OH MY GOD THAT'S LUCY!
Cana's jaw dropped and her eyes bugged out at this revelation. Holy shit! Laxus and Lucy are doing the nasty! That little sneak! How did she manage to keep this from me?!
"Hey Cana, whatcha doin?"
She practically jumped out of her skin at Bickslow's whisper right behind her. She spun around and slapped a hand over Bickslow's grinning mouth.
"Shhh!" she hissed, pulling him down the hallway a little ways. She stood stock still for a moment listening intently. When another drawn out moan drifted from the door she sighed in relief before looking back at Bickslow's now excited face.
"Oh man! Who is it?" he whispers excitedly, pulling her back to the door where they both press their ears to it. He grins even wider and his eyes sparkle at the sound of another recognizable moan. "Oh shit it's bossman and cosplay queen!" he chirps. Cana looks at him suspiciously.
"How'd you know it was Lucy?" his face drops and his mouth snaps shut. Cana pokes him in the chest. "Have you been holding out on me, mister?"
"Uh….um…. I mean…." Bickslow sweated. His eyes focused on something behind her and his face drained of all color.
"What's going on over here?" Mira asked innocently. The two perverted mages snapped to attention with a pair of squeaks.
"HI MIRA!" Bickslow shouts, and Cana almost slaps him before realizing he was warning the two lovers in the room. Mira blinks and tilts her head.
"Are you two okay?" she asks in concern. Cana nods vigorously.
"Oh yea, just collaborating on something. A prank, actually." She babbles. Mira sweatdrops.
"Right. Well mind if I slip by? I need to grab something from the storage," Cana and Bickslow force smiles while side-eyeing each other in panic.
"What the hell is going on out here?" Laxus wrenches open the door and glares at the small group. Bickslow shrinks and tries to make himself as unnoticeable as possible. Lucy pops out as well, looking rather peeved. Cana stares at her incredulously.
"Laxus? Lucy? What are you two doing in the storage room?" Mira asks suspiciously, her blue eyes darkening and examining the two. Cana and Bickslow both look to the large slayer who grunts.
"I was giving him a back-rub," Lucy says simply and convincingly, crossing her arms and raising her eyebrow. Mira bristled slightly.
"Why were you giving him a backrub?" she asks dangerously, eyes narrowing at Laxus, who felt a single bead of sweat form at his temple. Lucy just shrugs.
"I lost a bet last night, and I had to give him a half-hour long backrub."
"In the storage room?" Mira prodded. Lucy just nodded.
"You kidding? I can't let those guys know I'm good at backrubs! They'd never leave me alone!" she exclaims. Mira nods slowly, but still eyes the two suspiciously.
"So you were giving Laxus a backrub, because of a bet, in the storage room, because you didn't want people to know you had massage skills?" she recounts slowly. Lucy scratches the back of her head.
"Well, when you put it that way, it does sound kind of weird…" she allows. Laxus mutters something under his breath.
"There you have it. Now what do you need Mira? I'd like to get back to my massage?" he grumbles irately. Mira sighs in defeat, seemingly accepting the explanation.
"I need another set of beer steins."
"Here," Laxus pulls a crate from seemingly nowhere and hands it to Mira. "Now will you all leave, please?" he finishes, exasperated. Mira waves him off and carries the crate back towards the main hall, muttering something about how she "could use a back rub too". Laxus glares daggers at Bickslow and Cana. The two pervy mages laugh awkwardly and slip back to the great hall. Once they were out of sight, Laxus leads the celestial mage back into the room and closes the door behind them.
Lucy grins at him and pushed him back into his chair, dropping to her knees between his legs and licking her lips. "Now where were we?"
"I don't buy it," Cana whispers, eyeing the doorway leading to the storage hall. Bickslow just shrugs and pointedly looks away. Cana examines him and his nervous stature before pulling him into a corner. "You know, don't you."
"I'm not sure what you're talking about," he strains. Cana stares at him harder until he snaps. "Alright! Fine! They're totally banging, alright! Although I can't say for certain they weren't just doing some weird back rub thing just now…" he admitted. Cana smirked deviously.
"Hey Bicks, wanna know a secret about that particular storage room?" she says in a sing song voice. Bickslow raises an eyebrow behind his visor. Cana leans in close to whisper in his ear. "There's a few peepholes in it. And I know exactly where to find them."
Bickslow looks at her, his lecherous grin matching hers. "Are we about to go peep on a pair of blonds getting down and dirty?"
"Hell yes, follow me!"
"Holy shit that's hot!" Bickslow whispers, gripping cana's arm. Cana can only nod as she watches the live porn in front of her. She bit her lip and purred a bit at the sight – Lucy was spread out on an old desk, writhing in ecstasy as Laxus thrust back and forth from his place between her thighs.
"Oh my god. If they filmed themselves going at it they would never have to take a job again!" Cana giggled. "Like seriously! I knew Laxus was hot, but I had no idea he was this delicious! And Lucy? Wow. She's hot as hell naked, but getting shagged? Damn. I'd bang her, and I'm not even that into girls!" Bickslow stared at her in awe. Cana shifted. "What?"
He snatched her face and slammed their lips together. "Cana, you are the most amazing woman I've ever met," he said in awe. Cana tore off his visor and pounced on him. The two then ripped each other's clothing off until they were imitating the events taking place in the room next to them.
I love those two being pervs together.
On a side note, where did the whole "Lucy smells like strawberries and honey" thing come from? Like, is it a canon statement or is it just something a fanfic writer made up a long time ago that has just kind of become an accepted truth by everyone? Oh and I just realized that I never really established Gajeel and Levy's mating... tbh I kinda forgot those two weren't actually canon until recently, and only in the managa, since the anime hasn't even reached it yet.
So basically, here's the background timeline for Gajevy that I never mentioned. Gajeel marked Levy sometime before the Games, but after the training period (that got wasted in the spirit world). They got fully mated (more on this concept in a later chapter) sometime shortly after the games, or possibly during. I realize this timeline is kind of strange and not overly logical, but just go with it.
Now to explain the timeline for the rest of the story. As of this point in the story, the eclipse celestial spirits arc hasn't started yet. I realize that arc starts quite quickly after the games in canon, but for the sake of this fic, there's about a 2-3 month (or something) time period between the two arcs. As I've said previously, I'm going to follow canon events as closely as possible, so this fic will run through the Tartaros arc (and the frozen giants village arc, since that one goes straight into Tartaros).
Anywhoosies, the next chappies outta be worth the double non-smut posting.