A/N: Hey! Here's chapter 4. I feel like I'm getting into Emma's character better, but I'm not sure, so let me know. So far this was the hardest chapter to write, because it involved a CS scene. So here's the warning for that: CS WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A HEAVY CS SCENE. THEY DO NOT GO "ALL THE WAY" BUT THEY GO FAR ENOUGH THAT I FELT THE NEED TO GIVE THIS WARNING. IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ, THERE WILL BE ANOTHER WARNING JUST BEFORE THE SCENE SO YOU CAN SKIP IT IF YOU NEED TO. I felt that the scene was necessary to move Emma's story forward, even though I hated every second of writing it. This was also my favorite chapter to write so far, so I hope you give it a chance and leave a review! Let me know how I'm doing! More encouragement means faster chapters. :)

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"That was the longest day of my life," Henry groaned as he dramatically collapsed into a booth at the diner. Regina laughed at him and Emma ruffled his hair as they squeezed in beside him. He was getting so big that the three of them on one side of the booth was now a tight fit, but they didn't mind. Snow and David took their seats opposite them, and Killian pulled up a chair at the edge of the table. Zelena had gone home hours ago, claiming she was "bored out of her mind". It was dinner time, and no one felt like going home and cooking after the day they'd had. Granny already agreed to feed them, but only if they paid, because she wasn't a complete charity.

While they waited for their food, Henry pulled his notebook out and opened it, reviewing the information he'd added to it today. Snow, noticing, said, "Henry, why don't you put that away?"

"Can't. I have to help these people."

Regina bumped her shoulder into his and sided with Snow. "Take a break for a minute, Henry. Get some food in you. You've worked entirely too hard the past few days. It's okay to breathe, you know." Emma and David nodded in agreement, and Killian added, "Besides, lad, it's like you're trying to take this all on by yourself. It's too much for one boy to handle."

Henry shot him a glare (wow, that was new) and stated, "Don't you get it? Any of you?" he looked around at the whole group before continuing with conviction: "I'm the Author. It's my responsibility to see these stories play out and to record them. It's my job to make sure nothing happens to ruin these stories, and that they all go as smoothly as they can! None of these people will go home until their stories are finished."

Emma felt suddenly guilty. Here she was, panicking over her own responsibilities and her own problems, and she hadn't paid a single thought to how Henry must be feeling. To be honest, she'd nearly forgotten he was the new Author. He was feeling as much stress as the rest of them, and they'd been too distracted to see it. Emma reached over Regina and took Henry's hand in her own. "Hey, kid," she said softly, sending him a smile and trying hard to ignore the press of Regina's body against hers, "Killian didn't mean you couldn't handle it. He just meant that, we all have responsibilities. Hell, I'm the Savior, right? So doesn't that mean I have to help them find their happy endings too?"

Regina wrapped her arm around Henry and pressed her head to his. It made Emma's heart flutter. She was so good with him, was closer to him than anyone in the world. "Henry," she murmured, "I just split myself in half to get rid of the part that was holding me back from fully helping you, all of you. I'm here and I'll take as much responsibility as anyone else to take care of this problem. We'll all work together and we can all share the burden. So, maybe, put the notebook up and enjoy dinner with us?"

It was then that Emma realized what an ass she'd been that morning. She'd been having a panic attack and Regina had seen it. Regina had reached out to her, and she'd shrugged her off instead of letting her help. Regina had killed half of herself so that she could be there for the people she cared for without her darker thoughts in the way. She'd been being a friend, and Emma had completely and totally not behaved like a friend.

The sound of Henry's sigh pulled her from her thoughts and she glanced over to see him close the notebook and it back in his bag under the table. Regina gave him a squeeze and then let him go. David smiled and said "So now we can relax, if only for a meal."

Their food arrived shortly after, and they all dug in. About halfway through her grilled cheese, Emma saw Regina picking at her salad with a furrowed brow and knew she was still feeling down. Elbowing her, Emma teased, "Why don't you ever get a burger, Madam Mayor?" Regina rolled her eyes at her and replied, "Because some of us don't have the highest metabolism in the world, Miss Swan." Emma grinned. Here was what she liked: the teasing, the banter, the easiness. She pulled a fry from her plate and waved it in front of Regina's face. "Like you're going to gain fifty pounds by eating one greasy meal." Regina batted her hand away, taking another bite of her salad. "I might, Emma. You never know."

Emma sent a glance around the table and realized that her parents, Henry, and Killian were conversing lightly and not paying them any attention. In a sudden burst of mischief, she pressed her lips into Regina's hair and whispered, "I think we know exactly where those fifty pounds would go if it happened." Emma felt Regina shiver and smirked, figuring that her breath had tickled her ear, and realized her heart had started to pound in her chest. Probably because Regina could laugh or she could slap me and storm out, we'll see…

Thankfully, Regina shoved at her and barked out a laugh. "Yes, Emma," she whispered back playfully, "straight to my ass. Hence why I do not need your damn French fry." They both burst into laughter and damn, it felt so good. Better than good. Emma felt a warmth spread deep inside her and she never wanted it to go away. She felt amazing. And, as a bonus, she'd gotten Regina to say "ass".

"What are you two laughing about over there?" Killian's voice broke through their moment of warmth like a bucket of ice water. Regina's smile disappeared instantly and she turned back to her food. Emma smiled at Killian and stated simply, "Regina's crappy metabolism," which made the whole table crack up with laughter, Regina blush, and Killian knit his brows in confusion.

When they all finished their meals, they discussed what tomorrow would consist of: David and Killian would organize a large group of the newcomers and townspeople to go into the forest as a search party (there were seven missing people and nine missing belongings), Henry would begin to meet with people one by one ("In the diner, so Granny can keep an eye out," Regina insisted) to hear their stories and find out exactly where their tales got stuck. Snow would take a day to spend with baby Neal ("And maybe invite Zelena over for tea, after all, she's been trying so hard to be good," suggested the ever-optimistic Snow White), and Emma and Regina would go have a talk with a certain prisoner to see if he would spill what his plans had been.

With their next day organized, the group began to part ways for the night. Snow and David left first to get back to their son, and Regina and Henry stood to depart for the manor. While they were getting their coats on, Killian pulled Emma away from the booth and drew her close. "Want some company for the night, Swan?" he asked in a low, seductive voice. "I'd love to finally have that nightcap."

Psh, like you didn't have one last night, this morning, this afternoon, and at dinner, Emma thought wryly, eyeing the flask at his hip. She felt her heart speed back up, but this time it wasn't out of anticipation. It was the now-obvious feeling of panic…which didn't make any sense. Squashing the feeling down, she forced a smile for him and said, "You know what, Killian, I'd love to. I just need to talk to Regina about something. Give me a second?"

Killian eagerly agreed and Emma walked back to Regina, catching her by the elbow. "Hang on, Henry," she addressed their son, "I just need a word with your mother real quick."

"Okay, Ma."

Regina allowed Emma to pull her to the back of the diner before pulling her arm away and leaning against the wall, crossing her arms and looking at the floor. "Look, Emma," she began, but Emma interrupted her.

"No, Regina, let me say something. I won't take much of your time."

Regina closed her mouth and nodded tightly, raising her gaze to look Emma in the eyes. Emma momentarily forgot what she was going to say while looking into those intense brown orbs that seemed so much more open than they had in the past. Regina really does have beautiful eyes….

"Emma?"

Emma snapped out of her daze at Regina's careful tone, and remembered what she was going to say. "Right. Sorry. Um, I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I'm sorry for last night in the woods, and this morning after breakfast. After I, uh, poofed home, I had a moment to think and I realized I had been having a panic attack. A couple of them, I guess. I'm also guessing you knew what was happening."

Regina nodded slowly. "I did. I didn't realize it until this morning, though."

"Right. So, I wanted to say I'm sorry. You were trying to be there, to be my friend, to help me. And….I acted like a complete asshole. You didn't deserve that, and neither did Henry. You guys are going through some stuff too, and I was selfish."

Regina looked away again and ran her fingers through her hair. "Emma," she sighed, "I was in the wrong this morning. I've…I've had panic attacks. Multiple ones. And what I did, trapping you in the foyer, that was the wrong thing to do. For whatever reason, you trust me, and cornering you while you were panicking betrayed that trust. I'm sorry, Emma. For pressing you and not waiting for you to come to me, if and when you were ready."

Emma stared at her incredulously. "For whatever reason?" she exclaimed. "Of course, I trust you, Regina. And I hope you trust me. We've been through how much crap already, saved each other how many times?"

Regina chuckled, her body relaxing. "Definitely a lot of…crap." The word was so foreign coming from her mouth that Emma immediately started giggling, which resulted in Regina chuckling, and finally they both were laughing together. The warmth was back in Emma's chest, and she knew that everything was going to be okay now. They were communicating. Things were getting easier.

The laughter died away and Regina said, "Well, I need to get Henry home. We have another busy day tomorrow. Would you…like to come with us? Stay in the guest room?"

Emma was touched. She'd stayed in the guest room once or twice before, after drinking a little too much at dinner or staying too late talking with Regina. This was Regina offering her home to give Emma a break from her troubles, give her a bit of familiarity and comfort. It meant a lot, but…

"I, uh, I told Killian I'd go home with him tonight," Emma said regretfully. She watched as a strange multitude of emotions crossed Regina's face before a stoic look settled. "Ah, I see," Regina said, a little coldly. "Yes, I suppose you haven't had much time with your true love since he was brought back from the dead and everything."

Emma felt the statement like a stab in her heart. Regina's soul mate was dead, it was Emma's fault that he was gone, and here she was going home with the man that had been brought back from the dead like it was a simple parlor trick while Regina went home to a cold bed. She felt selfish all over again.

"I don't know if he's my true love, Regina," she began, but Regina was already turning to walk back to the front of the diner. "Make the pirate at least remove the hook beforehand," she tossed frigidly over her shoulder as she began to walk away. "Be a shame if someone got hurt."

Apparently, their moment of understanding and bonding was over.

WARNING: THE CS SCENE STARTS HERE. IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO READ, SKIP DOWN TO THE END OF THE WARNING NOW.

Killian pounced on Emma the second they closed the front door behind them. He backed her into the wall, his body large and heavy and his lips rough and demanding. "I missed you, Swan," he breathed as he kissed his way down her neck. She wrapped her arms around him and burrowed into him, trying to shake off whatever she'd been feeling about this and get into the moment. She'd gone through being the Dark One, losing him, losing him again, and finally getting him back, literally by the grace of the gods. She deserved to finally be with the man that she loved, and he deserved to be with her.

At least, that's what she was trying to tell herself. His kisses were sloppy, his hand too rough, and his breath reeked of hamburger and rum. She tried to ignore it as he scooped her up in his arms (minding his hook) and carried her up the stairs to the bedroom where he laid her down on the bed and began removing his boots and overcoat. She sat up and began to remove her own coat and boots, noticing that her heart was pounding once more out of fear and her breath was coming way too fast.

Killian misread her heavy breathing as a sign of passion, and he quickly removed his Hook and placed it on top of his coat. He crawled onto the bed, laying Emma down and hovering over her body. "Patience, love," he growled cockily, "No one will be interrupting us tonight. Let's savor the moment." He reached over to turn on the bedside lamp. "I want to see you," he said, and then pressed his lips to hers, his tongue forcing its way inside her mouth in what was probably the sloppiest kiss of her life. She grimaced at the foul taste of his mouth but kissed him back anyway, forcing her hands to begin unbuttoning his shirt. When Emma unbuttoned the last one, he immediately reached for the hem of her blouse. She sat up slightly, allowing him to pull it over her head. Without even stopping to look at her, he went straight for her bra-clad breasts, kneading them roughly with his hand and kissing down the valley between them. His beard scratched her skin to the point of irritation, but she kept her mouth shut. She would enjoy this. She just needed to relax.

Relaxation wasn't happening. Her heart was pounding, her blood was roaring in her ears, and her body was trembling badly. The feel, the smell, the taste of Killian Jones was completely wrong. Something had changed in the last few days, and everything felt completely….wrong.

Stop it, Swan, she ordered herself. This is Killian. You love him. You want this just as badly as he does. Snap out of it! But it wasn't working. Killian had kissed his way down her stomach and unbuttoned her jeans, slipping his hand inside and beneath her underwear.

That was the breaking point. Emma let out a cry and pushed him off her, rolling away and standing up off the bed, falling against the wall.

"What the hell, Swan?" Killian shouted, standing up with her. "What is your problem?" Emma felt his eyes on her as she fought to control her quaking body. "I'm sorry, Killian," she gasped out, "I can't. Not tonight."

"Yeah, I noticed," he snapped. "My first touch of you and you're dry as a drought. I thought you wanted me! Have you just been toying with me?" He was angry. Emma didn't blame him. She deserved his anger. What kind of woman couldn't even make love to the man she'd sacrificed everything for, the man she claimed she loved?

"Swan! What game are you playing? What is wrong with you?"

Emma looked up, her eyes meeting his. Half of his face was illuminated by the lamplight, and he looked dark, menacing, dangerous. "I'm sorry," she said, tears coming to her eyes. "Of course I want you, Killian. Haven't I proved that I want you, that I love you? I went to hell for you!"

"Then talk to me. Why can't you allow us this? What's stopping you?"

"I don't know. I don't know. There's just too much in my head right now. Too much going on. I need more time."

Killian sighed and began to button up his shirt. "I suppose all I have is time, Swan," he ground out through gritted teeth. "If you need me, which I doubt you will, I'll be on my ship." With those words, he slipped on his boots and coat and strode out of the room. Emma remained where she was, leaning against the bare wall and shaking like a leaf, even after she heard her front door open and slam closed.

END OF CS SCENE. ALL YOU MISSED BY SKIPPING WAS EMMA STOPPING WHAT WAS HAPPENING, HOOK GETTING ANGRY AND LEAVING. CARRY ON BELOW THIS LINE.

She focused on her breathing. In, out. In, out. With Killian gone, her tremors began to subside and her heartbeat slowed to a less erratic pace.

"That was excruciating," came a familiar voice in the dark. Emma nearly jumped out of her skin, looking up to see Regina standing by her window, golden skin glowing in the soft light. She was wearing the same pantsuit from earlier, minus the blazer. "Regina!" Emma exclaimed, hands flying over her chest in an ineffective attempt to cover herself. She was still wearing nothing but her bra and her unbuttoned jeans. "You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing here?"

Regina chuckled and pointed upwards. As she did so, a flash of lightning followed by booming thunder seemed to follow her gesture. "There's a storm brewing, and it appears to be originating from just above your house. I became worried, so I set a protection spell on the manor-for Henry, of course, who's already sleeping soundly-and came to check on you. And I'm glad I did."

Regina waved her hand and Emma found herself suddenly dressed in a pair of boxers and a tank top, her usual sleeping attire. Her hair had been released from its ponytail and was cascading in wild curls down her back. "What…?" she gasped.

Regina sat down on the edge of the bed and shrugged. "I thought I'd help you get comfortable. Like I said, that was excruciating to watch, I can't even imagine what is was like being an active participant. Guyliner kisses like a bloodhound, did you know that? I didn't, until now."

Something was off. Something was wrong. Regina's voice…it was harsher. It lacked the lightness that it had had ever since she'd split with the Queen. Her tone was wrong, and her words lacked any warmth. Was she still so upset?

"Regina, I'm…" Emma trailed off, uncertain. "Thank you. For coming to check on me. It means a lot."

Regina smiled. "Of course, dear. That's what friends are for. Now come here."

Emma numbly walked to the bed and got in, and was dumbfounded as Regina crawled in beside her, pulled the covers up over both of them and began to play with Emma's hair.

What is she doing? We don't do stuff like this, Regina isn't a "slumber party" kind of person, what is going on? Emma's thoughts were moving a mile a minute, she wanted to ask what Regina was doing and she couldn't get a single word to come out. Her heart was beating fast again, and she felt her body heating up. Was she embarrassed? She should be…Regina had almost witnessed her first time with Killian…shouldn't Emma be embarrassed, even upset about that?

She heard Regina chuckle again before saying, "He saw you standing there, trembling, and he didn't once think to ask if you were okay. He could only think about himself." Regina scooted closer, pressing her front to Emma's side, and tucked Emma's hair behind her ear so that she could lean in and whisper, "He's a dick, Em-ma."

"Oh," Emma whimpered in reaction. Her eyes wrenched closed as her friend's breath flowed over her skin, causing shivers to course through her. She wasn't trembling anymore with fear, she was now trembling with confusion and a strange thrill. She was still so stunned by the events of the past 30 minutes that she could barely function. Not very long ago she'd been experiencing another panic attack and fighting with Hook over her inability to make love to him, and now she was laying in bed with Regina. What even was her life right now? And ohh, her body was hot, her heart now beating strongly against her ribcage. "Regina, what are you-"

"Shhhh. Is this okay? I know it's not something we've ever done, but I quite like it, personally."

Emma turned her head to stare into captivating brown eyes and found herself nodding. Of course this was okay. This was more contact than they'd ever had, and it felt good not to worry about their unspoken "no touching" rule. Wasn't this what friends were supposed to do? Comfort each other? Emma wasn't really sure of anything at the moment, except that it felt good to have Regina there with her.

She registered the feeling of soft fingers on her face. Regina was tracing a path down her cheek, over her chest, sliding down to the valley between her breasts. Her touch left a trail of tingling skin behind, and Emma's breath caught in disbelief as Regina's finger slipped over her nipple. Electricity arced over her skin and heat, wet heat, pooled between her legs. Her entire body clenched and she couldn't stop a moan from leaving her lips. She looked up again at Regina, green eyes finding intense brown, and started to ask again what she was doing. However, her question never came out as she saw her friend's face growing closer to her own, almost like she's going to kiss me….that thought brought about another almost painful clench in her core…and that's when she was hit with a realization the size of a freight truck.

"You're not Regina."