The next morning was rough, to put it lightly. Emma awoke at sunrise, after getting only a few hours of sleep, and she felt terrible. After Regina's last statement, neither of them had talked. They'd laid there in the dark, filled with questions they didn't want to ask or hear the answers to. Emma tried to use the time to process everything that had happened that night, from her episode with Killian, to her incident with the Evil Queen, to their combined confrontation with the aforementioned villain. Nothing was making sense, and the more Emma thought about it, the more confused and upset she got. Finally, Emma had heard Regina's breathing even out, and then and only then had she been able to push all her thoughts aside and sleep.

She turned her head and was surprised to see Regina's bed empty and perfectly made. Sitting up quickly, Emma looked around the room. Regina was nowhere to be found. Emma threw the covers off herself and pulled her jeans on. Where was Regina?

Quietly as not to wake their surely-still-sleeping son, Emma made her way down the hall. When she reached the top of the stairs, the smell of strong coffee hit her nostrils. Breathing it in and then sighing deeply, Emma forced her worry down. Regina was fine.

Emma plodded her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, where she saw Regina sitting at the small breakfast nook, staring out the window into her garden. The first morning rays were peeking through the foliage, giving the garden an ethereal look.

"Beautiful," Emma breathed. Then she immediately felt bad, because it was obvious Regina hadn't heard her come in (which, how? She'd been practically stomping) and started badly, sending her coffee mug and its contents to the floor. "Shit, Regina!" Emma hissed, "I'm so sorry!"

Regina shook her head and with a wave of her hand, the mess disappeared and the mug was repaired and back on the table. "It's all right, Emma. It was my fault. I was…" she trailed off, biting her lip.

"Lost in thought?" Emma finished for her, grabbing the coffee pot and refilling Regina's mug. Regina thanked her and then affirmed, "Yes."

Emma grabbed her own cup of coffee (with lots of cream and sugar, unlike Regina) and joined Regina at the table. Together, they stared out the window in silence, and for a moment, all was right with the world. It was a peaceful, calm morning. The leaves were starting to change colors, and the sunlight illuminated all the red, yellow and green hues. Emma was sitting with Regina, in her quiet kitchen, and once again Emma didn't want the moment to end. But it was bound to.

"You didn't sleep long," Regina said softly. Emma took a sip of her coffee and hummed in affirmation. "A few hours, I guess. You were up way before me."

"Yes."

"Nightmares?"

"Hmm-mm." Regina shook her head. "No. Not exactly." But that was all the information she offered before turning back to stare out the window. "This is one of my favorite views in all the realms."

Emma took in the view before her. Regina's face was clean of makeup and her hair was slightly damp and curling at the ends. Apparently she had showered before Emma awoke. Her face was calm, but Emma could see the turmoil in her eyes. The vein in her forehead was prominent, meaning she was way more stressed than she was displaying. The sunlight was starting to reach into the room, and Regina's olive skin glowed in the soft light. "You're beautiful too, you know," Emma blurted without thought. Regina's eyes grew wide as she turned her head to gape at Emma. "What?" she laughed nervously. Emma shook her head violently. "I mean, I just…this is the first time I've really seen, well, you. I've stayed over a couple times but by the time I'm up the next morning, you're already in your power suit or cocktail dress and immaculate makeup, bustling around the kitchen making breakfast like some Stepford mom.. I like seeing early-in-the-morning Regina, the woman that no one but maybe Henry gets to see. It makes you seem more real. More human. More relatable. To me." Emma realized that she was rambling and effectively shut herself up by swallowing a huge gulp of coffee. Then, with a smirk, she teased, "Like you don't know you're beautiful, come on."

Regina was still staring at Emma, mouth slightly agape, her eyes glittering with an emotion Emma couldn't name. "Close your mouth, Gina, you'll catch flies," Emma teased again, hoping for some kind of reaction before her face melted off with embarrassment. And finally, Regina reacted. She closed her mouth so quick her teeth clicked together, and Emma saw the muscles in her jaw working as it tensed.

A few seconds of silence, and then Regina flicked her wrist and a small bottle filled with pink liquid appeared in a plume of magic. She pulled the stopper and added a few drops to her coffee. She then reached over to add it to Emma's, but Emma's hand covered her mug and she asked, "What's that? You're not giving me some type of truth serum, are you?"

Regina laughed softly. "No, do you need one?" she teased. "This is a little concoction that will, shall we say, kickstart our day. I keep it on reserve for when I'm running on too little sleep." At Emma's obviously confused look, she rolled her eyes. "It's an energy potion. It'll wake you up, make you feel like you've gotten a full 8 hours of rest. Trust me, Emma." Emma eyed the bottle for a moment longer before removing her hand. Smirking at her small victory, Regina added a few drops to Emma's drink, then replaced the stopper and poofed the bottle back to where it came from.

Upon Emma's very next sip, she immediately felt better. She was waking up faster, and her body hurt a little less than it did. Eagerly, she drank more.

Regina watched her quietly for a moment and then whispered, "What happened with you and Hook last night?"

It was so random, so jarring, that for a second Emma was dumbfounded.

Then she wanted to run.

No, no, don't do this, Regina. Don't ruin this. We always have these good moments and then one of us ruins them.

But Regina was looking at her with concerned eyes, mouth turned down slightly at the corners, her posture not at all threatening or expecting. She was asking as a friend. Of all the questions she must have right now about her own problems, her own turmoil, she wanted to know about Emma's. Emma wanted to run, but she also saw that Regina was still trying to be her friend in this rare quiet moment, despite everything.

With a resigned sigh, Emma slouched against the back of her chair and looked away from those open, inquisitive doe eyes that she still couldn't look at for long, staring once more out the window. "I panicked."

"You panicked?"

"Yes! Everything was fine. We got home. We started…we went to the bedroom. Regina, why do you want to know?"

Regina's jaw muscles worked strongly again before she explained, "You didn't look good. You haven't looked good for awhile and with every passing day, you're slipping away more. Hook, as your…lover, should be causing a glow to your skin, a light behind your eyes. Instead, everything that's…Emma Swan…is being snuffed out. I want to know because I look at you and I see someone who's lost. I want to help. If that means listening about Hook's prowess in the bedroom, then so be it."

Emma was shocked at the rarely direct answer. Regina really did care. And yet… "So I call you beautiful and you basically tell me I look like shit?"

"Emma."

Right. No deflection. Open and honest. Communication. Emma could do that.

"I felt suffocated. Everything about what was happening felt wrong. I don't know how to explain it past that. I stopped him before it got too far and he got angry and left."

Regina's brow furrowed. "He got angry?" she snarled. "What, like your body is a favor owed?" Emma held up a hand and quickly responded, "No, no, he just doesn't understand, and neither do I, why I'm still not ready to move forward in our relationship together. You can't blame him, Regina."

Regina's face was cold as stone now as she snapped, "I can blame him for any damn thing I want. It doesn't matter if he doesn't understand why, he has no damn right to get angry at you over it."

"What, like you got angry at Graham because the curse was weakening on him, so you crushed his heart?"

Shit.

"Regina, I'm…"

Regina had stood up, clearly done reaching out. "Leave. Go back to your oh so chivalrous pirate."

Emma was mentally kicking herself in the damn teeth, if she could just get Regina to listen, "Regina! Stop! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that." She wasn't even sure if that had been what happened, it was just a theory. Why had she gotten so defensive and ruined everything, once again? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Regina stepped up into Emma's personal space, her eyes alight with hurt and rage and her teeth gritted together in a full on snarl. "Yes, I had possession of his heart, and I crushed it. Is that what you want to hear? It's true."

Emma backed up a couple of steps, but Regina just crowded closer. "The curse was weakening. He was getting his memory back. He was connecting with you, and he was mine to do with as I pleased. So I crushed it without hesitation. He was nothing to me, in the grand scheme of things."

Emma had always known it, deep down, that that had been what had happened. In truth, while she had been initially disgusted by Graham and Regina's arrangement, and later what she had figured to be true from learning about hearts and curses and Evil Queens and saviors, she didn't blame Regina anymore. It was the past, she'd spent years proving that she could be better, and she had been better. Emma's defenses had gone up when Regina had pressed on in her anger with Killian, and Emma had felt cornered once again. It was her job to stick up for Killian, wasn't it?

It's also your job to be there for Regina, and let her be there for you. That's what friends do and you just threw her past in her face, said a niggling voice in her head. Once again, Emma had proved that she wasn't a very good friend, at all. And what was happening right now, this threatening image that Regina was trying to display, was the woman's way of expressing just how very, very guilty she felt, and how alone she thought she was. Emma's expression softened. "Regina.."

"You've overstayed your welcome, Miss Swan. Get. Out."

Without another word, Emma did as she was told.

This back and forth with Regina was getting old. Were they friends or were they not? Were things ever going to change?

A/N: Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I gave a little bit of fluff and then I went and stepped in more angst. I'm horrible.