"Mom, I'm home," said Daisuke, coming in the door. "And once again, need I remind you that Wiz cannot follow me to school! I had to send him home and fight the big puppy eye-look!"
"Oops, sorry sweetie-nugget!" Daisuke's mom cooed.
'Does she always call you stuff like that?'
'Um… perhaps', thought Daisuke, who really didn't feel like dealing with his new friend who was inside his head. Dark had been bothering him all day. 'Why do you sharpen that every five minutes?' and 'Your school uniform makes you look really not masculine' and 'Why are you learning this? This is so unimportant, I mean, who in the heck cares who Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower was?'
"Dark is being annoying, Mom. Tell him to go away," Daisuke growled once when Dark was talking about how awful it is to get in an argument with a parakeet.
"Aw, I can't do that sweetie! Besides, you have another mission tonight!" Daisuke's mom replied, giving his grandpa a cup of blended Nutri-Gran bars.
"Ugh… you mention it NOW," grumbled Daisuke, as Dark had gone into another round of 'I feel woozy'. "Dark kind of got sick."
"Sick? How is that even possible?"
"Uh… gosh… no idea," said Daisuke conspicuously. Fortunately, his mom isn't one to put two and two together, so she just took it all into stride.
"Poor Darky! Well, you'll just have to go in his place, because I already sent out the notice!" his mom said gleefully.
"Excuse me?"
"Oh, you can do it, Daisuke! Mommy's trained you! You could do it in your sleep!" Daisuke's mom patted Daisuke on the back so hard he fell over.
Ring, ring, ring! The telephone rang.
"SOMEONE ANSWER IT, I'M ASLEEP!"
"Oh, answer the phone once in a blue moon, Gran-dude!" Daisuke's mom shouted. But she kindly picked it up anyway. "Hello?... Daisuke? Yes, he's right here! Of course you can talk to him! Who doesn't want to talk to Daisuke? Here you are sweetie!" Daisuke's mom handed over the phone.
"Hello?" Daisuke asked nervously. He knew it wasn't Takeshi; otherwise, his mom wouldn't have been so cheery when she gave the phone to him.
"Hi, Daisuke! This is Risa!" a too-high voice greeted him.
"Risa? Why are you calling?" Daisuke asked as his mom somehow managed to slip a black turtleneck over his head (I wonder how he gets on shirts, with hair so spiky and large!).
"Well, your mom was the one who tells everyone that Dark is coming! I figured you must know something too!" Risa answered. "I was wondering if we could go to the clock tower tonight and watch for him!"
"Clock tower? I mean, uh, yeah, the clock tower. Sure, I'll be there," Daisuke mumbled. "Listen, I'll just meet you there, okay? My mom's trying to dress me as I'm talking on the phone and it's kind of hard not to trip…"
There was silence on the other line.
"Risa? Are you still there?"
"… Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. I have to go… make sure my sister… isn't on fire…"
Daisuke could here someone on the other, possibly Risa's mother, talking about regrets and how she wished Risa would find a real boyfriend, then something about giving her a college fund so they could move some place warm year round. After a few minutes of Risa and her arguing about how good boys were hard to find these days, Risa finally came back on for about two seconds.
"Yeah, well bye!"
Booooooooooooooop.
"Darn, I said something incredibly stupid!" Daisuke whined.
'Your incommodious friend is right. You don't have a way with the ladies.'
"Yes, you did, honey. But now you're ready to go!" Daisuke's mom beamed at her handiwork, which was Daisuke in an over-sized outfit.
"Uh… Mom? Why's it so big?" Daisuke asked, staring at his shirt sleeves that were so long they went passed his knees.
"Because Dark has to wear it!"
"I thought I was going to."
'Daisuke… Daisuke, what's that noise? It sounds like fireworks going off two inches above my head... MAKE IT STOP!'
"Dark's still sick," Daisuke reminded her.
"Well, he has to fly there first," his mom reminded him. "Have fun, sweetie! Don't embarrass yourself on national TV!"
"… Yeah, I'll try not to."
Dark restlessly flew to clock tower.
'Land in those bushes, but don't let Risa see you! You'll never hear the end of it.'
"Yeah, yeah, Mr. Complain-y Pants," Dark grumbled.
'Geez, that comeback was terrible. You really are sick.'
Dark changed back into Daisuke. Daisuke ran over to Risa.
"Daisuke! You're here! Hooray!" Risa clapped her hands, bouncing around in little girlish circles. "Isn't this going to be fun? When do you think he'll be here? I'm so excited! Mega squeal!"
"Um… yeah," Daisuke said. "Yeah, he'll be here." Daisuke looked at his Digimon watch (isn't he cool?). It was almost ten. "Yeah, I have to go… make sure the thing… isn't on fire... yeah, okay bye!" He raced off up the clock tower before Risa could question him about what he was doing and why he used the same awful excuse as her.
"Okay, if I were a statue of a bird, where would I hide?" Daisuke asked himself.
'That's a dumb question.'
"I know, what I meant was-"
'Bird statues can't hide, inconvenient-face.'
"I meant it hypothetically," Daisuke growled. "And inconvenient-face isn't an insult."
'If it was, you'd be one.'
"Ah-ha! There's the statue!"
Suddenly, Daisuke heard foot steps.
Some very cool footsteps.
"Oh, this is bad! Satoshi's here again!" Daisuke whispered to himself. Or Dark. Having Dark meant he wouldn't have to talk to himself anymore. Which made him look crazy. Anyway…
"Dark! Let's go!"
Dark transformed and away they zoomed. Oh noes! They forgot about Risa! Oh well, poor girl can stand under the streetlight all night for all they care…
"Wake up!" Riku shouted in her sister's ear. "Today is cooking day and that means get up bright n' early to get your supplies!"
Risa turned over and mumbled, "Outta my room, you… inconvenient face."
Riku rolled her eyes. "Nice insult. Now get up and greet the day, sunshine!" Riku put on one of her fake grins and went back to her room.
Risa hardly looked like a sunshine. She had stood outside for a long time waiting for Daisuke or Dark to appear, but to her disappointment, neither did. She finally went home at three in the morning and fell asleep on her head funny so now her hair looked like a cotton ball. The bags under her bloodshot eyes had bags. Drool had dried on her face and stuck to her pillow so she had to yank the pillow off her face.
"Ow," she grumbled.
Riku, on the other hand, had looked forward to this day since she had heard about it (besides the fact that she found out yesterday). She'd gotten up two hours after her sister had gotten home to watch the sun rise on the beautiful day. She loved cooking. It meant no math and no math meant no math homework, which meant more time for soccer and video games.
Risa hated cooking. She was so bad at it and anyone who was bad at cooking had to stay after class to help their hardcore cooking teacher, Mr. Intense, chop cabbages. The two worst people were always chosen and Riku hated spending her evening cutting up watery vegetables. Then again, who would enjoy that?
"Mom, Risa's gonna kill me," Daisuke managed to say through a mouthful of Count Chocula. "I left her out there last night. She'll never forgive me."
"Oh, don't worry your little head, Daisuke!" Daisuke's mom said, giving him a hug. "Now remember, I need you home again tonight!"
"Again? Mom, when do I sleep?" Daisuke demanded.
"SWALLOW FIRST!"
"Yes, Grandpa!" Daisuke said quickly, swallowing too fast and choking for seven minutes.
"Oh, don't worry honey-muffin! The beginnings always the hardest! We're just getting you warmed up! You'll get used to it, okay darling-face?" his mom said after Wiz had given Daisuke the Heimlich maneuver.
Daisuke sighed. "If you say so, mom."
When he left for school, his bag seemed unusually heavier. Oh well. He had somehow managed to do all his homework and get the bird statue. He was pretty pleased with himself. He actually learned later that the bird statue was the thing causing all the accidents, because some goofball was throwing it at cars. Then he put it back when he was done… what a weird thief.
When Daisuke got to school, he put down his backpack on his desk. He heard a small noise coming from it. Daisuke nervously opened it.
Wiz was sitting inside, eating a Poptart. Daisuke's eyes grew to the size of CD's.
"Wiz?! What are you doing here?!" he half-shouted, glaring at the white creature. "I'm gonna kill you! I'm gonna-"
"Daisuke? Why are you talking to your backpack?"
Daisuke sweat dropped and turned around slowly. Takeshi was staring at him, looking weirded out and holding an apron and a bowl.
"Um… just because… I love this backpack!" Daisuke said, giving it a hug; Wiz made a strangled squeak from within. "I've loved you for a year and I just wanted to express this to you, old buddy! You're the greatest!"
Takeshi raised an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah. And you think I'm weird for worshipping Satoshi. Got your cooking stuff?"
"Right here," Daisuke said, taking out his apron and whisk.
"Dude. Your apron's pink," Takeshi said.
"It's my mom's apron," Daisuke said, then regretted telling the truth.
"Really? Can I touch it? Actually, can I keep it? By the way, when can I go back to your house-"
"My mom isn't going to lift the restraining order."
"Darn..." Takeshi sighed. "Well, class is starting soon, so I guess I'll go sulk off in a corner for the time we have left..."
After Takeshi went off to find the most depressing corner in the room, Daisuke gave Wiz a lollipop to keep him silent during history.
"Just be sure not to crunch it," he whispered, still annoyed. "Or it'll be really loud and people could find you. Got it, you red-eyed hairball?"
"Kyu!" said Wiz, licking Daisuke on the nose. Daisuke jabbed a finger at the fluffy creature.
"Don't act so cute. If you think I'm gonna forget about today, oh boy, are you wrong. You have it coming to you after school." Throwing Wiz one last angry look of death, Daisuke closed his backpack as his teacher came in.
"Good morning class," said the teacher. "Today we are going to watch a movie on Australian dictators. Please take out your notebook and-"
CRUNCH!!
It was going to be a long day…
Time flew by and eventually came cooking class. Daisuke had somehow managed to keep Wiz a secret the whole day until now. As everyone got their cooking stuff ready, in came their ripped and muscular teacher, Mr. Intense.
"ALRIGHT, LOSERS!" he shouted. "Get ready for the most intense cooking lesson OF YOUR LIVES!"
"Yes, sir!" said the class, standing at attention. Like he'd taught them to.
"Today, we're making a simple meatloaf. DON'T BURN IT!"
The class began to work. Most of them had made meatloaf before. Suddenly, a smoky smell began to fill the classroom.
"Um, Mr. Intense!" Risa was shouting. The smell was coming from her meatloaf. "Mr. Intense, I need some help!"
Mr. Intense walked up to her. "What seems to be the problem, little lady?"
"Well, sir, my meatloaf is burning."
Mr. Intense stared at it. "Risa, how did you do this?"
"I've never made meatloaf and-"
"Your meatloaf is not even IN THE OVEN!"
Risa blinked. "Um, I don't know, sir-"
"You're staying after school to cut cabbages!" he yelled, then walked away.
"CRUD!" Risa screamed, clawing at her hair. "Why does everything I touch BURN?!" (Fairly Oddparents, ha, ha)
Some people took a large step in the opposite direction of her.
Unfortunately, Daisuke had burned his meatloaf too (in the oven this time). He had to stay after with none other than Risa! How awkward! He doesn't even know she forgot what happened yesterday...
"This is a problem," Daisuke said to Dark and himself in the bathroom. Alone. What a weirdo. "I have to get home! What should I do?"
An idea dawned on him.
"Wiz…" Daisuke grabbed the bunny-thing. "You can transform! Look like me!"
Wiz obeyed.
'Daisuke, this stupid sickness you put on me makes it look like there's two of you..."
He ignored Dark. "Okay, now, you're going to stay with my friend Risa," Daisuke said. "Don't say anything. Just know these: Daisuke, yes, no. Okay?"
Wiz nodded. "Daisuke, yes, no!" he said.
"Good. Go for it!" Daisuke raced off home.
Unfortunately, he missed an insidious grin from Wiz.
Little did Daisuke know he had made a huge mistake. Wiz knew more than just Daisuke, yes and no. He knew several words; in fact, several sentences. There was a lot that could be learned from his strange family.
But he didn't exactly know what he was saying. But he planned to see what affects they would have.
"Riku! You gotta go in my place! I'm busy after school!" Risa shouted.
"So am I!"
"Do it! Here's a wig! Go for it! I'll give you thirty bucks!"
"Thirty bucks? Deal!" Risa ran into the school to serve her sister's punishment.