Chapter Fifteen

It wasn't until she entered the infirmary that it occurred to Alex that this probably wasn't going to look too good. Thankfully, neither Knightley nor Carson were around. Doctor Spaulding, nose in the air, humphed unhappily motioning them to gurneys nearby. Then he disappeared for a couple of minutes only to return to check them both visually while putting something into the tablet he now held. Alex felt like the man was passing judgment. Saying nothing, he continued to write down notes on his tablet only occasionally glancing up at them. Eventually he set the tablet aside and started to reach for Ronon's arm.

Perfectly content to spend the rest of the night, right where she was at, Alex just sat there facing Ronon on the other gurney and staring at the floor.

"What is this about a fight?" Carson started saying as he came from somewhere in the back of the infirmary.

Alex nearly jumped off the gurney she was so startled. She felt her cheeks flush in both anger and embarrassment at his presence. He was probably the last person in the whole city she wanted to see right now.

"You can see for yourself, Doctor Beckett," Spaulding said with his nose still in the air.

"I can see just fine, Doctor," Beckett said glaring at Ronon. "Just what the hell is this about?"

"Ask her."

"Alex? Don't tell me you started this!"

Alex rolled her eyes. "First of all, it wasn't a fight. Secondly—"

"What the hell is this about a fight?" Colonel Sheppard asked, coming in through the main infirmary doors with Major Lorne right behind him.

Alex turned to Spaulding with a vicious glare. "Anyone else you'd like to invite to the party?" she snapped.

He just gave an unhappy snort and stepped back under Alex's glare.

"I'm waiting for an explanation, Ronon," Colonel Sheppard said, eyes blazing.

"Ask her," he repeated glancing at Alex with a twitch of his lips in an almost grin.

"Alex?" Major Lorne asked, skeptically his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"Yes. Me. Now, as I was saying, it wasn't a fight. We were having a conversation in a language we both understand. And his weapon broke and caught me on the arm."

"Conversation?" Carson asked incredulously.

"Yes, conversation," she snapped at him. "We needed to talk through some stuff."

"Given the number of bruises I'm seeing and the condition of both of you, this better be the last such conversation," Lorne added leaving no room for interpretation.

"Fine by me," Ronon answered.

"Are you serious? I've seen him do worse to Sheppard and no one says anything."

Every set of eyes in the room swiveled to her at that, making her feel as if she'd just grown another head. Even Ronon's eyebrows shot up at that before he settled on a grin.

"What? He's a damn good sparring partner. Accidents do happen. But no one else says anything. Is it just because it's me? Or is it because it's Ronon and you think things got out of hand?"

For a moment they all looked a little sheepish as they realized she was right.

"That's what I thought," she said. "You guys seriously need to get over it."

Sheppard turned to Lorne and said, "She's been hanging around Daniels way too much."

Lorne raised his hands and backed away with a grin. Even Carson twitched a smile at that one.

"Well, unless someone here is pressing charges, I'd like to treat my patients and get back to my dinner."

Alex's cheeks colored slightly. "Sorry, Carson. I didn't know Doctor Spaulding was going to go rumor mongering."

Frowning darkly, Beckett turned to Spaulding. "Speaking of which, you're dismissed for the evening. I'll call in Doctor Warren. We'll discuss this later."

"But, they were clearly in a fight."

"You don't want to do this right here, son."

"Why not? I didn't do anything wrong! They were in a fight, whatever they might say. She picked a fight with him to prove—"

"Enough!" Carson barked. "You're dismissed, Spaulding."

"No, I'll not have this hanging over me. You're far too lax in your security. All of you," he said, turning his gaze on Sheppard and Lorne. "She shouldn't be walking around the city unsupervised."

"Very well, you're dismissed permanently. You can catch a ride on the next Daedalus resupply," Beckett stated, his arms crossed.

"What?!"

Turning to Ronon and Alex. "Did either of you report a crime?"

They shook their heads.

"Did either of you request your team leader be called in or made aware of the situation?"

They shook their heads.

"Did either of you request me, specifically?"

"Not yet," Ronon said as Alex shook her head.

Turning back to Spaulding, Carson's blue eyes were cold as ice. "A patient's private health record and status is a sacred trust you violated three times in five minutes. So, please explain to me, Doctor Spaulding, exactly why you contacted myself, Colonel Sheppard, and Major Lorne since they didn't fall under those categories and they were not incapacitated."

"They were in a fight!" the man repeated clearly on the verge of hysterics.

"They were having a sparring match."

"Fine. I knew Ronon Dex was going to press assault charges, so I contacted both their team leaders."

"Did you ask him?" Carson asked, crossing his arms.

"Well, no, but she's your test subject and I'm sure you, at least, would want to know she'd attacked someone."

That was the wrong thing to say, and it became frighteningly obvious as Carson's face went from red to white with barely controlled fury.

"Test subject?" he asked quietly.

"Yes."

He uncrossed his arms and stalked forward, making the scrawny man back up. "Oh yes, Doctor Spaulding, you are very much dismissed permanently. And, might I suggest you clean out your areas now? Because if I see you again, there will be assault charges. She's a human being! And the fact that you insist on thinking otherwise proves you do not belong on this team. Now get out of my sight!"

The skinny little man looked like a stork fumbling to take flight as he turned and fled the infirmary with a shouted, "The IOA will hear about this!"

"I certainly hope so," Beckett said much more calmly.

Alex's giggle brought him back around with a sheepish grin.

"I'm sorry, Carson. I'm sure that wasn't pleasant. But he looked like a bird trying to fly away from a cat. And I never seem picture you as intimidating. Until I see you like that, then you're just scary."

Ronon grunted, whether it was amusement or to agree was anyone's guess.

"Yes, well, not something I usually reserve for Colonel Sheppard's or Ronon's more stubborn moments," he said. "You're not going to be stubborn on me now are you?"

"Nope."

"Then you probably won't see it ever again," he assured her. Putting on gloves he continued, "Now, then. I'll not make myself a nuisance, but I will ask. Is the 'conversation', as you put it, over?"

"Yes," Ronon said.

"Good, cause I'll not want to see the two of you looking like this in my infirmary again."

"No promises, Doc."

"Same," Alex added.

"I'll have you know, I'm not stubborn," Sheppard decided to speak up, the amusement clear on his face, "I'm just not fond of big needles. And he likes to use the biggest one he can find, every time."

Heaving a world-weary sigh, Carson shook his head and then glanced toward the ceiling as if beseeching a higher power. "Why?" he asked. The glint in his blue eyes belied his irritation, though. "Unless you two have something else to add, I would like to treat my patients."

Lorne and Sheppard shared a look and then shook their heads. Seeing no need to say more they headed out of the infirmary.

Turning back to them, Beckett unwound Alex's temporary bandage while asking Ronon, "Aside from the obvious bruises, why are you here?"

"She broke my arm."

Carson raised his eyebrows to Alex, whose face instantly shaded to red. "It was an accident."

"Of course," Carson murmured, not able to hold back a grin; which immediately turned to a frown as he saw how deep the jagged gash was. "This is definitely going to need sutures. Give me a moment to call in Doctor Warren and get set up. I'll be right back."

"It's just sutures. You should go finish your dinner," Alex told him. "I'm sure someone else around here could handle it."

"And miss a chance to spend some time with my favorite patient?" Carson called lightly, tossing his gloves and walking away.

Now blushing prettily, Alex glared at Ronon. "Hush, you."

"I didn't say a word," Ronon said, laying back on the bed and getting comfortable.

"Keep it that way."

After a few minutes of sitting in silence, Alex finally broke the contemplative silence. "Did you mean what you said?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you. It's good to know he's got friends watching his back."

Ronon just grunted.

"And I mean it when I say: If I ever do anything to hurt him intentionally, just blow my head off."

Ronon just grunted again. If she didn't know better, she would have thought he was nodding off. She squashed the little voice in her head that screamed victory and that she'd worn him out. Carson returned with a suture tray prepped and Doctor Warren in tow a few minutes later. Ronon hopped off the bed and followed the younger Doctor Warren.

"You kids be good now," he called with a smirk which only deepened as Alex blushed yet again.

"What was all that about?" Carson asked a bit warily, as if he didn't really want to know.

Alex sighed, covering her eyes with her good hand for a moment. "He knows. He saw us in the infirmary at one point."

Carson froze for a moment remembering the time months ago when he'd found a trail of blood to Alex's ward and Ronon waiting to see him. It had been the same day he had promised Alex he would wait for her. "Is that what this was all about?" Carson asked, his face flushing angrily.

"No. Not exactly," Alex stumbled. "Look, he's just watching out for you. And, yes, I asked him to talk…to me…in the sparring room," she trailed off, feeling silly.

"Why would you go and do such a daft thing?"

Alex gazed at the ceiling as if lost for a moment. "I've had a bad day. Can we leave it at that? Please?"

"Aye," Carson agreed. "Let's get you cleaned up."

This being the first time the two of them had been alone together in a few months, Carson decided to take advantage of the situation to get some catching up in while he worked on her. For a while the two of them chatted happily about goings on in their lives. Carson couldn't ever remember a time when they had just chatted like this. He was unspeakably happy that it wasn't as awkward as he feared. But the time passed all too quickly and soon she was wrapped up and ready to go.

"Carson, since I cheated you out of your dinner, why don't we go get a late snack? I know the perfect balcony for watching the moons rising."

"Temping, lass. Very tempting," he admitted, warring with himself for a moment. "But I've got some reports to finish, an employee termination to write up, and I'm sure there are things multiplying on my desk this very minute that weren't there before I left."

"I'm sorry. About Spaulding. I mean, I shouldn't have accused him."

"Nonsense! You were absolutely correct. It was worse than a minor breach of ethics. Besides, I never liked that he always had his big nose in everyone's business and never mind his own."

"Well, then I don't have to feel guilty about that, at least," she admitted, relief obvious in her voice.

"Not at all. What is there to feel guilty about, then?"

"Just this," she said, stepping up to peck him on the lips real quick before turning to duck out of the infirmary.

Carson's face went from surprise to a huge grin of sheer joy in nothing flat. Without it being awkward, she had just answered the one question he had been fearing to ask.

Alex still loved him.

Alex returned to her quarters to clean herself up with a face still flushed. Part of her was thrilled to see Carson again. Part of her wanted to beg him to have another doctor do it because she didn't trust herself. Part of her had been terrified that he no longer felt the same way she did. Part of her had wanted to jump into his arms and tell him never to let go. Part of her had enjoyed the conversation and its simplicity. Part of her wanted to talk about more serious things.

Alex was such a tumbled mix of emotions, she was more than happy to just sit in the flow of hot water and let it wash away her feelings. Over and over she considered that quick kiss mentally kicking herself for it, hoping she hadn't overstepped. She hadn't come right out and asked him if he still felt the same. But she didn't give him a chance to object to the little peck on the lips, either. While she was mentally beating herself up, she was also desperately wanting more. Viciously squashing the idea of knocking on his door to ask, if for no other reason than that she would be able to quit thinking about it long enough to sleep—preferably in his bed.

Groaning with disgust at herself, she sighed and turned off the water. As she grabbed a towel she was happy to note that at least now she was able to identify everything she was feeling. The last time she'd been alone with Carson and he'd said no, she wanted to die. Even with the hope he'd given her, she didn't dare believe. And then there was so much confusion she couldn't figure out up from down. The other half of her emotions were so snarled she couldn't even identify them. Thanks to her sessions with Doctor Heightmeyer, and many talks with her new friends while off world, at least now she knew what they were and could deal with them.

Knowing sleep was a lost cause, Alex tossed her towel aside and pulled on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Ignoring her wet hair dangling all over the place, she hunted for her good running shoes. She could have sworn they were next to the bed.

The door chimes surprised her. Seeing that it was well into the night, but not quite midnight, she hadn't expected anyone. Heck, she didn't expect anyone even in the daytime. Daniels usually spent her time on Atlantis with Tania, Lorne had better things to do, and Oaksford was always on the lookout for a new girlfriend. Most the others usually just met up with her in the mess hall or elsewhere.

When she opened the door, she just caught Carson three meters down the corridor and rushing quickly away.

"Carson?"

Oh Lord, Carson thought, mentally cursing himself. This was an idiotic idea.

Turning around, he caught sight of Alex's wet hair and sweatpants and was relieved that he hadn't woken her up, at least. Even then, the sight of her made his heart skip a beat before it started racing again. He tried to plaster a smile on his face so she wouldn't see just how nervous he was, but he was fairly certain it had just come out a grimace and gave up.

"Alex, um, well, I was just…Is it too late to take you up on that offer of a snack?" he finally managed to get out.

Alex's smile was radiant enough to Carson to light up the entire hall. Instead of answering she stepped up, wrapped her arms around him, and kissed him. Though she had no personal experience of her own, she'd learned enough from Daniels' descriptions to lock lips with him, and then let him take the lead. Gently he probed her lips and parted them with his tongue. Within seconds the rest of the world faded away. When they at last returned to it, both were breathless and trying to slow their pounding hearts.

"I've always felt safer in your arms than anywhere else," she finally said, her face snuggled against his chest listening to the beating of his heart.

"I've waited so long for that. I'm sorry if I was a little forward," he said, finally catching his breath.

Alex laughed. "I'm not made of glass, Carson. If the fact that I practically knocked you on your ass getting into your arms wasn't indication enough that I wanted it, then I hope the kiss conveyed it."

Carson chuckled, which was music to her ears. She would have given anything to keep this moment forever. But, instead, she moved back a bit.

"So, um, yeah, were you actually hungry, or was it just a ploy?"

Carson chuckled again. "Well, now that my stomach isn't filled with butterflies, yes, I would love a bite."

"Good. I didn't exactly get dinner, either. Like I said, bad day."

Giving her another hug and a kiss on the forehead, he said, "I hope this makes up for it, at least."

Alex laughed. "I would live through a thousand days like today for this alone." Frowning as she considered something. "This is for real? You're not going to change your mind?"

"Good Lord, no! I'm just hoping I'm not too soon," he admitted, searching her eyes.

"I don't think so, but then, I never did. Just don't go back on me, here, because Ronon might kill me if you start moping about and not talking to me."

"Moping about? Honestly! I know he means well, but—"

"Forget Ronon," she said. "I'm starving. And then let's just see where this takes us. All I want is for both of us to be happy. No expectations, no tomorrow, no grand plans, and no regrets. Deal?"

"My, my, you have been educating yourself."

"How else was I going to eventually grab your attention? I figured I'd have to resort to either seduction or begging. Thankfully, you saved me that embarrassment."

With a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, he said, "Well, now. Maybe I am a bit early. Because I would like to see your talents in seduction."

Flashing him a coy smile, "Well, that will keep you interested then, won't it? You'll have to stick around to see it, now."

"I'll hold you to it," he promised.

Realizing she didn't have her shoes on, yet, she briefly toyed with the idea of bringing him into her room. But, considering her current emotional high, she wasn't sure she could trust herself not to push things or take them too far too fast. Krissy and Tania had warned her about scaring guys off with stuff like that. Instead she told him to hold on for just a moment and ducked back into her quarters.

Carson couldn't help himself. He knew if he went into her quarters or she in his, things would likely spin out of control. He wasn't sure if she was ready to go that far, yet; and he wasn't sure he wanted to find out yet, either. The idea of her having gained experience somewhere else made him force down another spike of jealousy. For now, he was happy to just spend time with her and let the rest take its course naturally. Instead, he compromised by poking his head in her door and looking around. He wasn't surprised to see various souvenirs of her several trips off-world in the last few months; but the incredible collection of pictures of the sky both day and night from so many worlds was breathtaking. She had them taped to every wall in her front room. One was obviously dedicated to sunrises, another to sunsets, one for night skies, and another for daytime skies with moons and all.

"Hey! I thought I told you to wait outside," she called from where she was half-crawled under the bed.

"I am still outside. If you didn't want me to see, you should have closed the door," he called back cheekily. "These are incredible. Did you take them all?"

"Most of them. Daniels and Oaksford took a few, too. I think one might even be from Lorne, but I'm not sure which one anymore."

"They're beautiful."

"Thanks. I figured by now you must have figured out I'm obsessed with the sky. I guess all those centuries underground in that prison made me miss it more than I thought," she said, still smiling at her photos.

Carson's expression darkened somewhat as he was yet again reminded she was in no way what she appeared on the outside.

"What?" she asked, catching sight of his expression.

"Sorry, love. I guess that reminder just caught me off guard," he admitted.

"Ah, that. Well, you'll get used to it. Everyone else does. Besides, it was another life, long behind me where it should stay. The past can't hurt me unless I let it and all that stuff, right?"

"Possessed of wisdom and beauty. How are you still single?" he teased with a warm smile.

"I'm not now, am I?" she shot back with a grin. Prodding him out her door, she hopped into her shoes and they were off to see where things would lead them.

~o~o~o~

The next few days were bliss for Carson and Alex. The two of them had their individual duties to attend, but every minute outside of that was spent together anywhere they could. Alex took him on a tour of her favorite balconies and views for various times of day. Carson showed her his souvenirs from Earth and explained some of his favorite hobbies. She clearly didn't understand his obsession with catching bigger and bigger fish; and he didn't understand her obsession with always watching even a totally clear blue sky. Yet neither of them cared so long as they were together. Outside of their time together, it seemed nothing else existed.

Most of the inhabitants of Atlantis saw the two as either the most endearing thing to grace the city's halls in a long time; or the most sickening. While there were those who still felt Alex was not to be trusted, no one dared to make a wrong move against her so long as she was protected by the "elite" of Atlantis society. Within a day word had spread throughout the city. The usual dark rumors spread of Alex now cheating on Major Lorne with Doctor Beckett was almost too common to bother sharing. Some of the rumors involving a love triangle between Sergeant Daniels, Major Lorne, and Alex now being broken up had people whispering in corners. But the really enjoyable rumors of her being pregnant with Lorne's a half-breed causing her to need constant watching by a doctor were the most laughable.

Alex reminded herself to be content with what she had. She didn't need everyone's approval or consent. Just those of her closest friends, and she had that from all of them. Major Lorne smiled and gave her a thumbs up behind Carson's back when they passed in the halls, while Colonel Sheppard just gave her an approving nod. Daniels and Tania hooked her into a makeup party just to give more dating advice. Oaksford, ever on the lookout for a new girlfriend teased about finally losing out on his chance to woo her into his arms. Doctor Heightmeyer encouraged the relationship with words of caution about it being her first experience. Even Doctor Weir, though surprised to see them together, had nothing negative to say.

From lazing about in the sun on a balcony, to cozying up on a bench or sofa just to spend time together doing individual activities, Alex and Carson found a new reason to exist just being with one another.

One evening Carson suggested they watch some movies he had stored on his personal laptop. By this point Alex wasn't entirely unfamiliar with this form of entertainment, but hadn't seen many, either. Curious what kind of movie Carson would find entertaining, she readily agreed. That evening Carson set up a quick, simple dinner for the two of them with a bit of a surprise for her. He doubted even she realized that today was the one-year anniversary of her conversion. It had taken a few bribes and calling in a couple of favors for him to arrange for a handful of cupcakes of a variety of flavors and colors, since he didn't know what she liked. Privately he was glad no one else had noticed so he could make this first anniversary a special, and private one. Maybe later he would remind the others.

When his door chimed his heart fluttered. Suddenly the whole setup seemed rather ridiculously lacking. A little fifteen inch laptop instead of a television, food from the mess hall, no romantic candles, no flowers, not even a decent dining table. He almost changed his mind and offered to take her out on a balcony, instead. But when the door opened and he saw Alex, his heart jumped. Unlike their many casual encounters in public, tonight she was dressed to kill.

Somewhere Alex had managed to find the perfect outfit to show off all her best attributes. Low heels highlighted her delicate ankles. Her black, lightweight casual skirt was modest, but showed off her nicely shaped calves up to the knee. Her blue and black blouse nicely outlined the shape of her bosom without showing any cleavage. Her fine, pale features were just barely graced by a hint of makeup that beautifully accented the angular curves of her face, eyes, and lips. Carson's mouth went dry at the sight of her.

"I take it you like?" she asked coyly.

"Oh aye," he said, motioning her inside with a gallant wave. "You look absolutely lovely."

Seeing dinner set up for them on his little coffee table, Alex smiled brilliantly. Carson's heart fluttered as he returned her chaste kiss. It was all he could do to keep his eyes off of her and on his food. Alex went on explaining where she had come up with some of the articles and who had given her advice, but it went in one ear and out the other. Clearing away the remains of their dinner, Carson setup the laptop on the coffee table and turned off the lights before motioning to the sofa. At first he wasn't certain how well this arrangement would work with such a small monitor; but feeling Alex cuddling up against him to get a better view made him change his mind.

This was perfection. Wrapping his arm around her, they watched the entire flick; and Carson wasn't sure he remembered a single part of it. Feeling her up against him, smelling her so close, was too distracting. He spent most of the ninety or so minutes convincing himself that it was too early for that kind of intimacy. But, oh his heart said otherwise. As the movie came to an end, he squeezed her close one more time before letting her go and leaning forward to close the laptop. When he sat back, he was surprised to find she had only moved enough to let him sit back on the sofa again, before cuddling up right where she had been before, against his chest in the dark room.

After a few seconds listening to his steady heartbeat, she hummed contentedly. "I could stay like this forever."

"Me too," Carson sighed happily.

Thinking about what she said, Alex huffed a gentle laugh. "Forever doesn't mean what it used to anymore. I really should remember that."

Carson chuckled in return. A moment later that chuckle was stifled as he found his mouth otherwise occupied. She kissed him with a passion that spoke of need. But, again, he reminded himself that it was too soon. When her kiss moved from his lips toward his neck, he groaned with desire.

"Alex, I don't think you quite know what that does to a person," he warned half-heartedly.

"Oh, yes. I do."

He could practically see her catlike eyes in the dark alight with anticipation. Growling softly at himself, he gently tried to move her back. She refused to be averted. His resistance obliterated, he let the sensation of her tongue on his neck and nibble on his ear make him shiver with barely controlled desire. After letting her have a turn, Carson decided when it was his turn. Turning her gently, he let her upper body rest across his lap as he returned the favor. Much as he had, she shivered and moaned in delight as his tongue explored her. Slowly, and with more regret than he would like to admit, he sat up, staring through the darkness into those barely visible intense blue eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked, gently stroking her belly through the silken blue blouse.

In response Alex gave an irritated growl of her own and then attacked the buttons on his shirt. As if needing to feel his flesh against hers, she undid his buttons in record time and began to explore the unique feel and taste of him with her tongue. Now certain this was what she wanted, Carson was content to let her take the lead. He had no idea how much she had learned or where, and, at the moment, he could not have cared less. After a few moments of her playing with his nipples, he decided she wasn't going to have all the fun.

Twisting himself slightly, he managed to get a good angle on the buttons of her blouse. She was so intent on what she was doing, he wondered if she even noticed he'd gained access until his soft hands brushed her nipples. Delighted to find no bra underneath, Carson teased and played until she stopped her own actions to moan in unrestrained pleasure. Leaning back, she gave him unrestrained access that he took full advantage of. She moaned and squirmed under his attention until he felt himself growing uncomfortable in his pants. Ignoring it, though, he continued to nip, and lick, and tease her upper body while his free hand traveled slowly downward.

Alex was so utterly absorbed in the sensations she almost couldn't think anymore. Her heart pounded and the heat inside her grew, focusing on each point Carson touched, and lower down. Though she had absolutely no experience of her own, she had to admit that Daniels' description had been quite accurate. After a few moments, the brain shut down. All she wanted now was Carson, everywhere. She moaned and writhed and gasped as he continued around her neck, her chest, and her belly.

Suddenly she became aware of a new sensation that had her arching her back. One of Carson's hands had worked its way under her skirt and now pressed gently on a sensitive spot that had her gasping in surprise. Her whole body reacted to his touch, even as gentle and explorative as it had been. She felt the heat between her legs increasing to a fever that left her wanting to cry out with need. For a moment it almost seemed Carson was going to back away, but realizing her desperate grip was wordlessly begging him for more, he explored further.

Too distracted to even attempt to take control back as she had planned, Alex felt her body reacting to his touch. This might have gone on for seconds, minutes, or even hours. She had no way to know. But the pleasurable sensations were all she knew. Gripping him in any place she could, she threw her head back and wordlessly begged for something she didn't understand, but knew she needed. Lost in the feelings, she rode the waves of ecstasy as something inside her overwhelmed every part of her being.

Sometime later Alex slowly began to regain awareness of her surroundings. Carson's hand no longer moved between her legs. Now her gasping breaths and racing heart left her exhilarated. In the darkness, she knew her eyes had an advantage over his, and she could not miss his scrutiny. Though he continued to toy with her nipples and other sensitive spots, he had backed off to give her time to recover. Well, as far as she was concerned, he wasn't getting away that easy. He had distracted her, and now he was going to pay.

Turning back toward Carson, Alex started in again on his neck and worked her way down. This time he only made half-hearted attempts to distract her with his touch. These she easily ignored. With each new moan she elicited, she grew more and more excited all over again. Finally she reached the bulge in his pants. Knowing what to expect, she teased and rubbed, but left his pants zipped. His moans soon turned into a wordless need of his own. Taking pity on him, she finally let it loose. Daniels had already told her what to expect, but she still found a thrill in taking into her delicate hands and stroking it to elicit more and more desperate moans from the man she held.

Feeling her own need rising again, Alex moaned almost in sync with him. As she crawled back up to engage Carson in a desperate and deeply passionate kiss, she carefully positioned herself. Daniels had warned her about the pain, but at this point her need screamed recklessness. Carson, seemingly lost in his own need did, somehow, still find enough awareness to consider her inexperience. Gently and slowly he guided her down, even as she continued nipping at his neck. For a moment, he just held her there, letting her adjust while he turned his attention to the nipples that were now at the perfect level.

As his lips and hands explored her all over again, Alex began to feel the need driving her to writhing in his embrace. The pain had already faded and she felt her hips moving almost as if they had a mind of their own. Slowly she rose up and back down. The sensation almost destroyed what was left of her sanity. Again, she did it, this time getting an accompanying moan out of Carson. Again. Again. Her need made her give in. Letting her body take over, she felt the tempo increase. She felt Carson's cries more than heard them. Her heart seemed as if it would burst. Somewhere far away from the incredible pleasure she was feeling throughout her body, she heard cries of passion she knew must be coming from her, but had no desire to stifle them; because right now, nothing existed but the two of them.

For the second time she felt her mind shatter as wave after wave of rapturous ecstasy made her entire body shudder in Carson's grasp. Again, she was lost unable to think or speak as she gasped in lungsful of air hearing nothing but the impossibly fast pounding of her heart. For a few minutes, that was all there was for them. Their post coital embrace seemed to last a lifetime as they both came back to reality by inches.

Finally Alex found enough awareness to lean back and smile down at Carson's beautiful face. He beamed up at her with a smile of his own.

"I wasn't too rough, was I?" a hint of uncertainty finally entering her mind.

Carson laughed and hugged her tightly. "Be as rough as you like, love. If the results are like that, I'll take all you've got."

Alex sighed in relief. Until that moment, she hadn't realized just how terrified she had been of this encounter. She'd wanted it for so long, but had feared it to. What she feared, she had no idea. But now, she laughed almost giddily. Eventually it occurred to her that this might not be the most comfortable position for Carson and gently slid sideways back onto the sofa. Carson was quick to grab her by the shoulders and gently pull her back toward him into the position they had been in originally.

"I love you," he whispered into her hair.

Despite the rumble she heard as he spoke those three words, she also heard the heartbeat change just slightly. Whether it was fear or anticipation or something else, she didn't know. But there was no hesitation on her part. She sat up, looking him right in the eyes to ensure there was no mistake.

"I love you, Carson. I could say it over and over. But you'll get tired of hearing it. I love you."

Carson chuckled. "Impossible, Alex. Because I love you just as much."

"Good, then no more of this 'Are you sure?' and 'you're not ready' and—"

Giving a mock glare, Carson put his finger to her lips to silence her. This she nipped playfully. With a growl of his own he silenced those lips with his tongue, instead.

Though they got very little sleep that night, they never even made it off the sofa.