Chapter Eighteen

For the third time since Michael had come to her quarters, Alex awoke somewhat surprised that she was still alive. After the beating he had given her, she wondered if she wouldn't have been better off dead. Already her body hurt in more places than she could count. Trying to take stock of her injuries, she wasn't even sure how many spots were just bruises and how many were actual broken bones. And, truth be told, she no longer had the energy to care. For a while she just lay there, listening. Somewhere nearby she could hear Michael's breathing. It seemed normal now, calm. She sensed his awareness hovering near the edges of her thoughts. Somehow she had managed to block him out again.

"Clever how you hid this from me," he commented.

Having no idea what he was talking about and in too much pain to care, she just summoned what was left of her diminishing strength and forced herself to an upright position using the wall behind herself for support.

"You already injected yourself." It was not a question.

Oh that, Alex thought dully. Still she saw no point in responding. Next came the sound of her kit being crushed thoroughly under his boots.

"I offered you the chance to join me. Why do you refuse?"

Alex nearly laughed. "I want to be human," she said tiredly, instead.

"Why?"

"Compassion, love, art, beauty, music, kindness…Humans possess far more strength than Wraith would ever know," she said with her raw throat, feeling as if she were drowning in pain.

"They are weak. They are food."

"They are alive," she shot back, half-heartedly.

Michael gave a disgusted growl.

"What will you do now?" Alex asked after a few moments of silence, not really caring, but not wanting to sit there wondering what he was doing. At least when he was talking she knew where he was in this smaller room.

"I wait. They will come close enough, eventually."

"And then what? They aren't going to rescue you; especially if we have the city cloaked and they can't see."

"They don't have to see Atlantis to destroy it."

Suddenly it made a sickening sense. That's why he'd been so desperate to escape even knowing he would never leave this planet. He knew he was going to die one way or another. He just hoped it would be to take the city with him. Frantically she tried to think of a way to talk him out of this suicidal plan.

"You don't have to die. We can go back."

Michael laughed darkly. "Oh no. You've destroyed me. Even in my reversion I smell the stink of human animal on myself! I will destroy you all for this."

Exhausted, feeling defeated and nearly overwhelmed with the pain that seemed to radiate from a hundred different points on her body, Alex gave up. Cautiously she reached for Teyla and found…nothing. Teyla was gone. It was as if she wasn't there anymore. It was just emptiness. Her one bright idea in all of this had failed epically. Now she did laugh. Despite the pain, she felt herself laughing and wondered if a part of her had broken mentally.

The whole situation was just so ridiculous. Weir had pushed Carson into this test earlier than he felt safe. He had continued development of the drug, but needed a way to weaponized it. Meanwhile, Weir, in all her humanitarian beliefs, wanted to see if a Wraith could really become human; even if it was against their will. They needed a weapon, not a hive full of humans needing to be relocated and integrated into a human society. But here it was. This was their grand experiment. Carson's part had been successful, but everything else had failed utterly.

"What are you laughing at?" Michael asked, a dangerous edge to his voice.

"This. Us. Everything," Alex managed to wheeze out through her damaged throat.

Michael growled as her laughter continued.

Finally she sobered up slightly, but couldn't repress the giggles entirely. "I was a queen. I wanted to be human, and no one would accept me. They all accept you, and you don't want to be human."

"I fail to see the humor."

"You would."

After a few more minutes of this nearly unhinged laughter, Alex finally calmed herself enough to breathe normally. Yep, at least two ribs on her left side were cracked, but not entirely broken. Her head had a couple of goose eggs on the back. She could only imagine what her face looked like. The bruising would likely cover just about every part of her body. She was a mess. But what did it matter anymore? She knew she would never see Carson again. Whatever else happened, Michael was not going to let her live. Heaving a sigh, she forced herself more upright again.

By now Michael was pacing in agitation. They hadn't moved since they'd gotten here. Alex could only guess that the teams were nowhere nearby, then; since he felt safe enough to stay put. Closing her useless eyes in the darkness, she visualized him pacing back and forth across the empty room. She knew that jerky, frantic pacing all too well.

"The hunger burns. Your body wants to regenerate," she commented.

"Yes!" he hissed.

"Is that why you brought me with you?"

He growled as he squatted beside her. "Perhaps."

Clearly distracted and considering this idea, Alex took advantage of the moment. Summoning every bit of speed and strength she had left, she grabbed him by the hair and slammed his face down on her knee. Ignoring the fiery bursts of pain throughout her body, she aimed a second blow at his throat hoping to crush his windpipe. No such luck. Already recovered from the first strike, Michael grabbed her arm in mid-swing and slammed it down on his own knee. The snapping bones in her arm was audible. Unable to stop herself, she screamed and released her hold on Michael's hair. Falling back against the wall, she cradled her broken arm to her chest, wondering that the bones had not broken the skin.

Trembling with mixed fury, pain, and fear Alex wished more than ever she could see Michael in this utter blackness. She had no way of anticipating his next move without her sight. Hearing only served to help for so much. But, he didn't keep her waiting long. Moments after this thought crossed her mind, she felt his feeding hand slam into her chest, right between her breasts. Her world erupted in agony.

Screaming Alex thrashed against the pain, against Michael, against the death she knew was coming. But she was helpless, and she knew it. She felt the life being drawn out of her as she screamed. Some distant part of her mind said goodbye to her friends as she let the world around her be consumed in agony and screams.

~o~o~o~

Colonel Sheppard's near murderous expression had softened only slightly at learning through Teyla that Alex was alive. Teyla had relayed Alex's instructions on using her as a sort of locator to find them. Not entirely sure she could pull it off without Michael's attention being brought back to her, Teyla retreated to her quarters. There, in the quiet, she was able to focus enough to block out Michael's thoughts, while using her senses to locate Alex. As soon as she had an estimate of their position, she relayed this to Sheppard. Much as it chafed having to remain behind, she knew Michael could sense her coming.

Equipping the teams with night vision goggles, Sheppard gave his instructions. They would approach as silently as possible. With Alex as a hostage, they would take no chances. He had no idea what room of this long-abandoned section of the city they would be in, so they fanned out sweeping the rooms silently one at a time. Nothing, nothing, and more nothing. Sheppard was losing his patience. He trusted Teyla with his life, but this was starting to feel like a waste of time.

Then the screaming started reverberating through the entire section. Throwing off all pretense of quiet, Colonel Sheppard and all the others raced toward the source of the distant screams. Major Lorne had been the first to spot them. Michael had his back to them squatting in front of Alex. Knowing he couldn't safely get a shot off without possibly hitting Alex, Lorne dove at the half-Wraith, tackling him aside to break the connection he had with Alex. Michael retaliated almost instantly with a couple blows to the head leaving Lorne stunned. But, before he could do more, Ronon had taken his head off with a single shot.

For a moment Lorne sat trying to shake off the effect of the multiple blows, and come to terms with the fact that he was now covered in the blood and brain matter of the thing that had kidnapped Alex. Meanwhile Sheppard had gone to his knees in front of Alex already on his radio. With the night vision goggles everything was green. He had no idea how long Michael had been feeding on her or how much damage he had done. Ripping off his night vision equipment, he dug out a flashlight.

"I need light!" he shouted.

Half a dozen beams were focused on Alex within seconds.

She was a mess. Sheppard had to force his hands to stop trembling as he took stock of the damage. What he could see of her skin was a mass of bruises, everywhere. Her right arm was bent at an unnatural angle that made him wince. Her eyes were wide and dilated, the horror and agony still clear in her expression. Her pulse was impossibly fast, and she was cold as ice.

Feeling the need to lighten the mood and elicit some kind of response from her, Sheppard quirked a grin, "You know, you really should watch who you hang out with. These bad boy types aren't so good for your health."

Nothing.

"Alex, look at me," Major Lorne demanded, squatting to her left.

Her uncontrolled shivering continued unabated, but her eyes flickered toward Lorne for moment; still unfocused.

"That good, Alex. Very good," Lorne said his face now inches from hers as he tilted her chin to check her face. "Carson is coming for you. You have to hold on. I know it's hard, but you've got to stay awake."

"Carson," she whispered, her eyes still unfocused.

Meanwhile Sheppard had been gathering jackets from all the men present and sending a chain of Marines to act as guide posts for Beckett and his team. Returning now, Sheppard began to cover her gently with the pile of jackets.

"That's right, Carson," Sheppard added. "You know, the boyfriend; though I still think you and I had something going there for a while."

Alex just shivered from head to toe.

"Oh, come on," Sheppard continued. "I'm not that bad."

Her eyes started to close. Lorne tapped her on the cheek. "Alex! Stay with me. Remember? Carson's coming for you. You have to stay awake."

It was no use, she had let go. Given what he could see in the constantly wavering lights, Sheppard couldn't blame her. She'd taken one hell of a beating and been fed on. He didn't see much of a difference in her appearance from the feeding, but she was too beat up to tell. His heart burned at the thought of her losing even a handful of her human years to that damned Wraith. He cursed himself for even letting Weir talk him into this. He should have killed the damn thing as soon as Beckett's part of the experiment proved successful. Knowing there was little more they could do for her, he had Lorne help move her into a prone position with her legs up until Beckett arrived.

~o~o~o~

Carson couldn't remember the last time he'd slept properly. He knew it had been in Alex's arms, but that was all he could remember. It had been weeks of pushing to meet a deadline no one would specify, but everyone agreed must be right now. He and his research team had worked night and day to aerosolize the male formula Wraith Retrovirus. Once he had it ready, he had no idea what Weir had planned. After it was explained part of him been against it from the beginning. But they had talked him into it since he was needing a thorough test before they tried to use it on an entire hive full of male Wraith.

Then it had been day and night observation and coordination. Much as it had been with Alex, Beckett watched every monitor, every video in the hopes of detailing every moment of the change. And, just like Alex, he had eventually gone into a coma; though it hadn't lasted nearly as long. That had been the last time he thought he remembered sleeping. They had been in Alex's quarters that night. He couldn't even remember anything else about that night. He just remembered the blissful feeling of sleeping.

Now Doctor Beckett paced the corridors like a caged animal in the populated section closest to where Michael had taken Alex. His hand-picked, highly skilled trauma team waited with him on standby for when Colonel Sheppard and the others found her. He wasn't about to let them relax until they had Alex back safely. And they would have her back. Injured or not, they would get her back. Carson refused to entertain any other thoughts. He didn't give a damn what Sheppard and Weir thought Michael would do. He was going to have Alex back.

Only Sheppard's calm logic had kept him from going with the rescue team once Teyla had relayed Alex's plans. He knew he would be needed here if she was injured, rather than running around in the dark possibly ending up far from her location. Back and forth he paced the small confines of this confining corridor. He'd already made up his mind that if he didn't hear something in the next thirty minutes, he was taking his team and a handful of Marines and going to Alex's last known position; the Colonel's orders be damned.

Thankfully, he was saved from this. When Beckett's radio clicked to life he had his kit in hand and was halfway through the door into the unused sections before they had even gotten his name out. Behind him his trauma team followed with a board and other equipment.

"Doc, we've got her," Sheppard told him in a too calm voice. "She's alive."

"Of course she is," Beckett shot back. "What's her condition?"

Sheppard's silence was enough to make his heart twist painfully. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the part of him that was not focused on learning the details of his patient cursed the universe for Alex's suffering. Hadn't she been through enough?

"She's pretty beat up, and her right arm is broken. She's unconscious, but I'm pretty sure she's in shock. I'm rounding up some jackets to cover her. We're elevating her legs..." Sheppard paused and heaved a sigh. "I can't tell the full extent of the damage, but he fed on her, Carson."

Carson's heart stopped.

He fed on her.

Still running headlong down the corridors at the direction of the military men he spotted, along with a handful of specialists behind him, he felt as if the world was fading away.

He fed on her.

Those four word reverberated around his mind bouncing off his heart and tearing at his soul.

He fed on her.

He knew the effect it had on the human body all too well.

He fed on her.

What it would have done to her in her already weakened condition from a beating…

He fed on her.

"Doc, are you there?" Sheppard finally asked, the concern clear in his voice.

"She's still alive, Colonel. Leave the rest to me to worry about," Carson finally responded, pulling himself together.

Viciously he crushed the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him, and focused on the task ahead. Barely able to see in the handful of flashlight beams, Carson checked her over as best he could. Stabilizing her arm and neck, he let the rest of his team do their part. By the time they'd gotten there Alex seemed to start regaining consciousness, though it did nothing for the near seizure-like tremors that wracked her body. Securing her to the board, they hefted her and ran back out of the room with Major Lorne close behind.

Sheppard and his men stood back to give Carson and his team the room they needed. It never ceased to amaze him how fast and efficiently they all worked when Beckett was in charge. But, then again, they were the best in two galaxies. In the dim light of their constantly moving flashlights, he had been unable to really assess how much damage Michael had done. Looking at the cooling corpse nearby he thought death had been too good for that bastard.

~o~o~o~

The damage to Alex hadn't been as bad as they all feared. Her arm was clearly broken, a couple of ribs were cracked, she was covered head to foot in deep tissue contusions, and a Grade Three concussion. The feeding had taken a few years off her life, obviously; but how much was as yet anyone's guess. Briefly Carson considered switching her back to the original female Wraith Retrovirus formula in order to let her regenerate faster. This he quickly tossed out, as her body had undergone enough stress. Days of rest and natural recuperation would be best for her, now.

Exhausted as he was, Doctor Beckett oversaw her treatment himself. Despite Knightley's best efforts to shoo him away to his quarters for some sleep, she didn't have the heart to force him. Eventually she gave up and set him up with a cot next to Alex's bed. He turned his nose up at it, initially. However, the next time Knightley came by to check on Alex, he was sound asleep on the cot beside her. He had lowered her bed enough that he could see over it even from his lower position.

Alex remained unconscious, despite the fact that it seemed she was going to wake up before they even reached the infirmary.

Doctor Knightley had tried to keep out the steady stream of visitors that came to check on her. But short of posting guards, it wasn't going to happen. After a day and a half of running people out of Alex's ward, Rebecca threw up her hands and gave up. As far as Colonel Sheppard and Major Lorne were concerned, they were always an exception where a teammate was involved. Seeing Beckett sleeping, the two snuck in as quietly as possible to the other side of Alex's bed. Finally having managed to stay awake for a whole hour, despite the pain and the drugs, Alex caught sight of the two of them. She raised her good arm and put a finger to her lips to signal them to let Carson sleep.

The twin grins on their faces said it all. She tried to smile back, but it quickly turned into a silent wince of pain as something, somewhere made its presence known.

"You know, there are easier ways to get a date out of a doctor," Sheppard quipped softly eyeing her closely as Lorne turned to go find Knightley.

Again Alex gave a half-grin, "But what's the fun in that?" she asked, her throat still raw.

Suddenly Carson started awake, sitting bolt upright. As if the sound of her voice had been a blaring alarm, he turned toward Alex's bed practically knocking over the cot in his mad scramble to escape it.

"Alex!"

Sensing this was about to get more personal than he cared for, Sheppard patted her on the shoulder gently and turned to leave. He intercepted Lorne on his way back and they both warned Knightley that Carson was awake as well. Frowning that Beckett had been woken up, but glad that Alex was awake and seemingly coherent, she decided to give the two of them a couple of minutes alone.

By the time she flicked aside the curtain Carson was awake enough to realize his disheveled appearance. Apparently he had already done the preliminary checks, and filled her in on her condition. But it was clear to Rebecca that he was struggling to remain professional. This was, after all, his girlfriend. Taking pity on him she came to a decision. Crossing her arms, Knightley confronted him head-on right there.

"Doctor Beckett, you are officially off-duty until further notice."

Giving her a dangerous look Carson shot back, "I beg your pardon?"

"You're exhausted. You've been at this for weeks. Take a break. There's nothing going on right now that the rest of us can't handle. Get out of that lab coat, and spend some time with Alex. I'm sure she could use the company. After all, this ward has practically been her second home for the past year."

Carson was red in the face and all set to argue, but Alex reached out to take his hand in her one good one. "Please?"

That was it. His resolve and anger melted away in one word. No further debate was needed. Emptying his pockets, he handed the lab coat over to Rebecca who, having finished her part, left them in peace.

Three days later Alex was deemed well enough to be released with supervision. And, even then, Carson was fairly certain Rebecca had only added the supervision part to give him an excuse to stay off work and out of her hair for a while longer. Not displeased with this, Carson decided Alex was staying with him until she recovered. Alex, still in more pain than she cared to admit, didn't argue.

For a few days the two of them were left in peace in his quarters. Carson's only regret was that his bed wasn't just a bit larger. With her casted arm, sleeping beside her was a bit tough on the both of them. But, they managed. Gradually the bruises on her face began to fade enough for them to see the effects the feeding had had on her. It was clear Michael had managed to take some years off; but it did nothing to detract from her beauty. If anything, she was just a more mature version of her previous beauty. At a best guess, Michael may have taken ten years or so from her. And, with her regenerative abilities, he doubted it would remain that way for long.

Alex didn't seem to feel it, though. In less time than Carson would have liked, she was itching to escape the confines of his quarters. Unable to deny her anything, he escorted her to her favorite balconies where they had picnic meals. It wasn't long, though, before the call of his work brought him back to the reality of their situation.

The Wraith attacks were escalating. The lack of food now had them turning on one another, but not in nearly enough numbers to make a difference in their population. Stuck with nothing to do until her broken arm healed, Alex gave what advice she could to Weir and the others. Carson, meanwhile, returned to his research. Now that they knew the Wraith Retrovirus worked, what they would do with the aftermath was an ethical debate no one could satisfactorily answer.

Eventually it was decided they would test it on a hive ship using the Daedalus teleportation system. If it worked and the males survived the conversion, they would be given supplies and left on a planet that only had a space gate. They thought that maybe a larger population all suffering the same thing would make the transition to human more convincing. Though many didn't like it, they couldn't find another way around it. It was if the transition to human made them a responsibility to keep alive, rather than to just kill. Not for the first time, they reconsidered the use of teleported nukes, instead.

All too soon the day came when they were to test Beckett's retrovirus aerosol on a massive hive. In an attempt to avoid a direct conflict, the Daedalus dropped out of hyperspace, teleported the canisters, and then jumped back into hyperspace. It was a textbook drop. A couple hours later they returned to find the hive just drifting. With no attack forthcoming and no obvious signs of activity, they waited. Per Doctor Beckett's instructions, they waited twelve hours before Colonel Sheppard and his team teleported onto the hive ship.

It was a success. They found the lone female choking and gasping on the remaining fumes, and unchanged. They stunned her to take to the new settlement and convert her there with the female retrovirus. Despite Beckett's best efforts, she didn't survive. But the remaining males seemed to take to their new life with only some mild confusion. This time their cover story had been that a disease had swept through their people and they were the few survivors.

However, it wasn't long before they discovered that these newly converted humans weren't as confused as they seemed. Some of them seemed to have regained enough memory to know what had happened to them. They began to refuse the drug and started combining their telepathic powers to call a hive ship. In a mad scramble the Atlanteans abandoned the settlement leaving behind a nuke that detonated as planned, but not before the hive had arrived with darts. Hoping that was enough to cover their tracks, they returned to Atlantis feeling defeated.

Following this, the whole retrovirus project had to be shelved. Beckett seemed to have no further ideas how to modify the formula to make it permanent. Daily injections were obviously not an option, either, if they intended to convert a significant portion of the Wraith population. And they had come up against another threat. In a universe that just seemed to be stacking its worst against them, they had stumbled upon a planet populated entirely by Replicators made of billions of nanites. This discovery brought with it a whole host of new problems as it turned out these replicators didn't like the humans favored by their creators.

~o~o~o~

Elsewhere in the galaxy a Wraith queen was contemplating the discovery that had been dropped into her lap. The nearly overwhelming call of dozens of male Wraith had led her to a planet seemingly populated by half-human half-Wraiths that sickened her. Once she had extracted all the useful information she could out of them, she gave them to her hive to feed upon. This new threat was something she didn't like one bit. And, yet, she couldn't bring herself to tell the others in her newly-formed alliance of hives. It was already sickening enough that hives were having to form alliances just to watch out for one another in the midst of such a food shortage. Wraith had always been territorial at best, but a war on this scale was unheard of.

That's when it struck her. This was a weapon the Atlanteans could use against them. But what if she could use it to her advantage? With a weapon like this she could easily bring all the other hives in the galaxy to heel. She could take control of them all and eliminate anyone who didn't like it. And then there were so many other advantages she could take. Never one to settle on a single course of action, she considered all the myriad possibilities this information now afforded her.

Her inhuman hiss of satisfaction was enough to give her Hivemaster pause. Within hours her orders had been spread across the galaxy.

~o~o~o~

"You sure you're up for this?" Major Lorne asked, eyeing Alex's still unusually thin right arm.

Alex rolled her eyes. "It's healed, okay? It'll just take a while for the atrophied muscles to regain their former glory. Now quit pestering me."

Lorne grinned at her feistiness. He certainly had missed having her on his team. In the three weeks since having found her in the bowels of the city he, Oaksford, and Daniels had had their hands full. With a rotating fourth, Lorne made it clear that Alex was still on his team. Finally out of excuses, Carson was forced to admit there was no reason she couldn't resume her normal off world duties. Colonel Sheppard, wanting to make sure Alex was really up to par, had settled on sending them on an off-world mission that couldn't possibly be any easier.

Recently there had been some civil unrest on one of their favored trading planets. The local government had handled the bulk of the minor conflict, but had requested that unbiased mediators from Atlantis be called in to oversee the negotiations. This task completed satisfactorily to everyone's delight, it was Major Lorne's turn to do a pick up and escort. The only reason for this being that the usual criminal elements tended to hang out in the forest between the gate and the city. Expecting this to be a cake-walk trip, Sheppard waved them off as they stepped through the gate.

A couple hours later the four of them had made the hike into the city. The Atlantean mediators packed up their stuff and headed out with a few last-minute farewells. Already bored, Lorne and his team perked up at the idea of a hike back through the lovely forest. The walk was peaceful and surprisingly quiet considering how most people they had to escort tended to be overly chatty. They were within sight of the gate when it suddenly activated. Though they were on alert, none of them were really on edge considering their peaceful circumstances.

There was no warning.

One moment they were approaching the active gate, and the next they were being scooped up by a dart. Alex was the only one quick enough to get off a couple of shots before she grabbed Burnthorn by the collar and used her body weight to roll them both off the path. The moment she landed, she rolled over to see the path empty. The dart circled around as if trying to make a second pass, but headed right for the now inactive gate. Seconds later the gate was activated by the dart's onboard dialer. Alex screamed in mingled terror and anger as she fired off everything she had hoping to stop the dart. It was hopeless. She wasn't even able to slow the dart down enough to see the address as it disappeared through the gate.

For a moment all she could do was stand there staring in disbelief as the gate shut down. There had been no warning, no time. Holding back tears of frustration and rage she grabbed the still stunned Burnthorn by the arm and dragged him toward the gate. She pounded the symbols on the DHD with enough force to make it seem they would crack under the assault. Her message ahead was brief, but had most of Colonel Sheppard's gate room standby men running for the gate room in seconds.

Lorne, Oaksford, Daniels, and Church taken by Wraith dart, the message came across Chuck's screen. In seconds he had relayed this to Doctor Weir, Colonel Sheppard, and the gate room security team.

Alex stepped into a scene of barely controlled chaos. Seeing it was just the two of them come through the gate, Sheppard hopped off the platform.

"What the hell happened?"

Shaking her head as if to shake off her churning emotions, she focused on giving her verbal report as concisely as possible. "We were approaching the gate when it activated. A dart came through and…it got all of them. I managed to grab Burnthorn and get off the road in time."

"And then it just turned around and left?" Weir asked in disbelief.

"Yes. It was like it was expecting us," Alex growled. "And before you ask, no, I didn't get the address."

Sheppard seemed to nod almost sadly. Catching sight of her cracking façade, he pulled himself together and squeezed her shoulder gently. They both knew that there was nothing more to be said. When a team was taken by a dart with no address, the chances of ever seeing them alive again were nonexistent.

"Report to the infirmary for your post off-world check. Take Burnthorn with you."

For a moment it seemed she might argue, but then thought better of it. Her face stony, she nodded once and turned to guide a still stunned Burnthorn by the arm. She handed over her weapons and vest to one of the Marines off to the side of the room as she headed down the corridor toward the infirmary.

Carson had heard about the commotion in the gate room and had a team standing by in case it was needed. When he got the call a couple minutes later to stand down he was relieved. He had no idea which team it had been coming back, possibly hot. But knowing Alex was off-world always made him uneasy. In his mind he knew one day he might very well learn she hadn't returned. It was the risk all teams took when they stepped through the gate. But knowing it from a clinical sense and experiencing the heart-wrenching fear for himself were two completely different things. Already he had tried considering the multitude of ways she could talk Alex into other ways of helping them fight the Wraith. But, at the same time, he could not deny how happy she was doing something she felt was genuinely useful to Atlantis. And there was nothing in this galaxy that could convince him clipping her wings was worth sacrificing her happiness.

Returning the supplies to their usual places, Beckett resumed his previous activities. A minute later he glanced up to see Alex guiding a pale-faced woman toward a bed in the infirmary triage. Something about her stance set him off. He was already walking toward her before he realized his feet had even moved. When she glanced his direction and he saw her face, it was all he could do not to break into a run. Something was seriously wrong.

They had agreed on a certain degree of professionalism in their relationship. When Carson was in his lab coat and she was in her vest, it was all business. Nonetheless, the look of absolute devastation on her face made him want to take her into his arms.

"Alex, love, what's happened?" he asked, taking her by the arms gently.

"They're gone," she choked out, her composure finally cracking. "A dart took them. They're gone."

Professionalism be damned, Carson took her in his arms and held her tightly. The selfish part of him was unspeakably glad it hadn't been her. The rest of him mourned the loss of Lorne, Daniels, and Oaksford. Alex let a few tears escape, but there would be time for mourning later. Right now, she had something she had to do. Taking a few deep breaths, she composed herself and pulled away from Carson.

"Is Tania here today?"

"Don't do this, Alex. Let Colonel Sheppard—"

"No," she cut him off, her blue eyes boring into his. "I promised Krissy I would, if…" her breath hitched and she couldn't finish.

Carson sighed heavily. He knew the duties the off worlders took on themselves when it came to matter of friends and family. Though it broke his heart to see Alex like this, struggling for control, he nodded sadly.

"Have you been checked over?"

"I'm fine. Doctor Warren took my vitals. Is it okay if I tell her to take the day off?"

"Of course, love. Tell her to take all the time she needs."

"Thanks, Carson."

She have him one last fierce embrace as if to gain some of his strength before turning to locate Tania. She led Tania to a quiet room away from the traffic of the main infirmary. Carson watched in mute misery as Alex held on to the crying woman clearly wanting to break down with her. After a few minutes, she led Tania out of the infirmary where they could find some privacy. His heart heavy, Carson returned to his duties.