A/N - Hello everyone!!

Thanks: othfan326, brookenlucas4eva03, onetreefan, CheerandBrood323, BRUCAS EQUALS LOVE, evergloweyes, Mosie1213, tanya2byour21, reina123, BrOoKe DaViS23, Brooke D., hoeoverbros, Team Davis-Scott, princetongirl, bd-ls-islove, Brook-Lucas-Fan-23, erika x3, Sophia-Chad, BDavis427, chebelle, and brucas333.

Thanks!!

Enjoy!! :)

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Searching For What We Lost

Chapter 7 -

--Two Months Earlier--

"What about Peyton?" Haley spoke up after a long silence. Brooke hadn't called back, and the uncertainty of not knowing where she was, was making them extremely nervous despite the fact she'd called and said she was fine.

Lucas didn't believe her though. There was just something; something in her voice, her hesitancy perhaps, that made him overlook her words and look deep down and realize.

Brooke wasn't okay. She wasn't fine.

Because she hadn't been fine for a while.

Neither had he. But he was dealing. Brooke, on the other hand wasn't.

"What about her?" Lucas mumbled. He had stayed up all night hoping for another call and due to this, he was beyond tired. He could feel his eye lids become heavy and he was fighting to keep them from falling.

Haley wasn't making any sense. Peyton had nothing to do with this.

"Well, maybe Brooke's in California." The idea had come to Haley only a few minutes ago.

"Why would she go there?...I don't see her flying cross country to go visit a friend she hasn't heard from in years...I just don't."

"Well, a few weeks she did mention that she hadn't seen Peyton in awhile...I don't know, Luke. It's just...we tried everything."

He nodded slowly. "Can you get me Brooke's phonebook...it's in the drawer to your left."

Maybe, just maybe, Brooke had gone to California. There at least Lucas knew she'd be safe.

Of maybe he was just hoping for that. For her to be safe...for her to really be fine.

Or maybe it was just wishful thinking.

--Present Time--

"So how is she?"

"Well." Lucas sighed as he cradled the phone between his shoulder and ear. "It's hard."

Hard was an understatement, though. It was beyond hard...unbearable.

"Still beating around the bush, huh?" Haley asked.

"I guess you can say that. It's just...I wish she could know that I'm feeling the same things she is. That I know it's hard...but we both need each other to get through it. And I know that it's something that we're never going to forget about ever, but...we can't keep living like this, Hales. I don't know what else to do...I'm so lost." Haley heard her best friend's voice crack mid sentence and it was with that sudden sound she realized how broken her best friend really was.

She'd never been through something as tragic as her two best friends had, and she thanked god that she and Nathan were blessed with their healthy son.

But all this time, it had just seemed to her that Brooke was more of a wreck than Lucas.

But when she really thought about it, it was because Lucas was trying to stay strong; he was trying to prevent Brooke from all the pain. So that meant he was keeping double the emotions locked up. And it would only be a matter of time when his emotions would get the best of him.

"Lucas...I have an idea."

And that was all it took for Lucas to muster up enough strength in him to redirect his attention to the conversation.

He'd do anything to return to normal.

But right now, he just didn't see it as being possible.

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"Hey, Brooke?" It was a slow afternoon, and Lucas had spent the day considering taking Haley's advice. It wouldn't hurt to try...and right now, he was desperate.

"Yeah?" Brooke replied, as she got her work supplies out from the drawers. She was going to be working on some new sketches...again. That was all she'd been doing lately. Hiding behind her work. It made everything much simpler.

"Um...I was wondering if we could talk..."

"Actually, I was just gonna start working on something...maybe it could wait...?" She wasn't looking him in his eyes when she responded. All he wanted to do was talk...and she just didn't want to. She never wanted to, really.

"Please." He sounded desperate and that was why she looked up from the floor to meet his blue eyes. "We need to."

"Okay." She gave in and nodded, setting her things down on the counter top.

He took a seat at the table and she followed suit very slowly.

"Look...I know you don't want to talk...and you don't have to. Just let me...Brooke..." He paused when he noticed she was staring at her feet underneath the table, not looking at him, and she was fidgeting with her fingers. "Brooke, can you at least look at me?!" His voice snapped.

He was sick of it. All of it.

Brooke was always wallowing herself in self pity and Lucas was left to pick up the pieces. Everyone was always concerned about Brooke, and rarely had anyone asked Lucas how he felt.

But he was hurting, too! Just as much!

Hearing his high voice, she jumped a little in her seat before bringing her eyes up to his. "I'm sorry." Her voice was small, just like how she felt in that moment.

"God, Brooke. This is what I'm talking about...we haven't communicated in months. You won't even look at me anymore!"

They had been sitting in silence for a good ten minutes. Every now and then Brooke would cry and when Lucas tried to lean in and console her, she'd push him away and yell at him to not touch her.

So then he'd just sit quietly and brood. It was better that way; neither one was in the mood to talk anyway.

"Oh my god." Brooke managed to choke out as she stood up and started pacing around the room. "This is my fault! All of it."

Lucas just wiped his eyes and shook his head. He wasn't going to try to talk anymore. He was done.

No one deserved this.

Not he, not Brooke. No one.

"I can't...I can't do this." She quickly picked up her purse onto her shoulder and ran out of the room.

For once, Lucas didn't feel it in him to run after her.

"And you know, the funny part is, when all of this first happened, I was glad you weren't talking. Because, honestly, I didn't want to either. But this...this is too much, Brooke. We can't live like this anymore...where you don't talk and tell me how you feel, it's just—."

"—I think you know how I feel, Lucas." Her voice was low and shaky.

"Actually, I really don't. Thinking about it, I realized I have no idea how you feel. I thought I was feeling the same thing as you, Brooke...but that's where I was wrong. Because whatever I was feeling didn't cause me to run to another state and leave everything behind."

"Lucas..." She shook her head. "Please, I can't deal with this right now."

"You can never deal with it, Brooke! And that's why...that's I think you need to see somebody for help...both of us, actually."

She stared at him incredulously. "Like a therapist, a counselor?" She scoffed.

"Whatever...Anything to get help."

"I don't need help, Lucas." Her voice was bitter as she stood up from the seat. "I'm going out."

"Oh." Lucas stood up after her. "Maybe you could go to California again. Tell Peyton I said hi."

"Screw you!" She yelled as she walked to the front door, opened it, and slammed it behind her.

"Fuck." Lucas mumbled to himself once the door slammed closed. This was not where he thought their conversation would end up.

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She knocked on the door again and finally a dark-haired man opened up.

"Brooke...Haley didn't tell me we were expecting you." He looked surprised to see the brunette.

"You guys weren't. But, um, do you think I could stay here for a little bit, Nathan?"

"Uh, yeah, sure, come on in. I'll tell Haley you're here."

Brooke mumbled a thanks before walking past Nathan into the house. Nathan then retreated up the staircase to go inform his wife on what was going on.

Brooke sighed as she walked into the living room. She knew she was wrong for denying everything and running away from her problems, but she didn't see any other way.

"Hey, Aunt Brooke." A small child's voice shook her out of her thoughts.

It was Jamie.

The sight of the small, young, blonde child crushed her even more.

She still deserved to have her son.

"Hey, buddy." Brooke did her best to smile and convince her nephew she was okay. She walked closer to him and sat beside him.

"I haven't seen you for a while." He knew something was up with both his uncle and aunt. Especially since his cousin was gone. But nobody wanted to tell him anything.

"I know...I missed you."

"Missed you, too." He replied and still didn't look in her eyes. He was focusing on the small basketball he had in his hands that he'd been playing with for a few minutes now.

"So, tell me. What's been going on in the life of James Lucas Scott?"

"Nothing much." He shrugged.

"Nothing much? C'mon you can tell me..."

"Mommy said I shouldn't...I shouldn't say anything."

"Jamie, sweetie. What is it?" She urged him on.

"Well..." He spoke with skepticism. "Where's Alex?"

Brooke immediately felt nauseous when the question left the young boy's mouth. "Jamie..."

"We used to play together all the time...Mommy told me he's gone...And I...I miss him, Aunt Brooke." His light blue eyes pooled with tears and the sight made Brooke utterly sick.

"Oh, Jamie..." She swallowed hard and closed her eyes tight. She didn't want to cry again. "I miss him, too, buddy. I miss him, too."

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A/N - Okay, I know it seems like this story is getting nowhere...but trust, me...it will be soon.

In the next chapter you'll find out what happened to Alex! I know many of you have been waiting for that!!

Also, for those who haven't read the final chapters of "What's True" and "Finding My Way Back" yet, please do so and leave a final review!

Review! Thanks! :)

–Melissa