Author's Note: Hey! I'm really sorry for such a long delay. Midterms have been killer this semester. Spring break is right around the corner for me though so I hope to write more this week and next! Thank you for your patience, you all have been great!

Chapter 8: Undercut

There was black. Always black. A blackness that swallowed all light and with it sucked away any and all strength I had in my soul, well, except for my determination.

It always hurt when I died. My soul would burst and I would be sent to this limbo between life and death, continuing and resetting… But I never gave up, my soul would re-fuse itself back together. Each time I died it seemed I would hover in this void longer and longer. Maybe it was just me; after all, I got tired of dying when I was in the Underground and now being on the surface, this was the first point in which I faced this choice to RESET not in a dream.

I looked down at my chest, my red soul glowing weakly outside my body. The pulse shook the soul hard, as if it was struggling to mend itself internally. I imagined that if my soul was anything like my actual heart, it must be made up of thousands of connecting tissues that are woven together meticulously with care. This process of restoring itself must get harder each time I die.

My stared at this little light in front of me, this little ray of hope. Even though my body has doubled in size since the first time my soul appeared before me, my soul remained the same. I cupped my hands around it, hoping to steady its shudders. My thoughts turned to Sans… I thought about how easy it was for Chara to kill me right in front of Sans.

I didn't know how many memories Sans has collected in the past day. It was just a night ago he made the choice to risk himself again in order to retrieve his memories through his dreams and mine. When we fell asleep together however, I couldn't find him. I could feel Sans inside my mind, but not my dreams.

From my own dreams, I would catch glimpses of him though. I used all the power I had to reach out to him. I would call out to him and run in his direction; but as all dreams go, I could never catch up.

So I began sending memories to him. I pulled out simple small ones I felt would help him at least get back on the right path. Back to when he first started visiting my dreams in the Underground.

With each memory I would send to him, I felt a new memory creep into my subconscious. Memories I knew were not mine. Memories I knew were Chara's.

I looked past my soul and into the void. My eyes widened as through my fingers I could see the darkness pulling at the glow of my soul. Like faint red fumes being pinched and twirled out through the gaps between my fingers. I quickly cupped my soul tightly and hugged it to my chest. The dark force surrounding me felt like it was tearing me about sinew by sinew.

"No please, I want to continue!" Tears welled up in my eyes and a cry of pain seethed through my teeth.

Like jolts of lightening, I felt flashes of Chara's memories slap me fast and hard.

Everyone I knew and loved, gone before my very eyes. Dust stuck to my sweaty skin and I could feel a sense of pleasure pinching the powdery afterlife between my thumb and fingers.

This was ecstasy. Killing the monsters that stepped in my way towards ruling this world. Not even my stupid brother could stop me. There is no soul more powerful than a human's.

"No! Stop this!" I raised my tightly clenched hands to my forehead and curled into a fetal position. I closed my eyes and thought of the things that made me happy. When Sans first started helping me with the strange after effects I would feel from my dreams, he would tell me to think about all the people who are looking out for me and all the things that make me happy.

Sans made me happy. Sans was my bliss. Over all these years we built so many special memories together, he helped me adjust the most to living on the surface. When I was afraid of meeting all these new people as ambassador, he would be there in the background giving me a thumbs up. When I needed help on a school project he actually made an effort to help, unlike his attempts to help Papyrus around the house. Even when I grew older and was asked out on dates by guys in my classes, Sans would be more protective than Asgore over me. With that, Sans was there for any heartbreaks I experienced as well. All the stress, all the fear and anxieties, Sans always knew what to do and say. With Sans and all my friends by my side, I managed to help pave a new path for both monsters and humans alike…

Why would I ever be afraid of the monsters under my bed and in my closet growing up if the real monster was inside my own head?

I blinked a few times.

I was back in my room. Sitting at my desk, looking at all the pictures I've collected of my friends and family. Like nicotine, I felt the family sensation of determination coursing in my veins, looking at all these old memories again.

I inhaled and exhaled through my nose and sat very still for a moment, listening. It wasn't until I heard soft snoring did I allow myself to finally look. I turned my chair to my bed and looked over at Sans sleeping as he usually did.

I wanted to believe that if I walked over to him right now, rubbed his arm and kissed his mouth he'd wake up. I wanted to believe that so fucking badly. My heart ached looking at him. Why couldn't this just be a normal day again?

I wondered if since Chara was aware of my SAVE, would they be sent back in time too or would what I just left still be carrying on since it was in my head too?

Rocks began to pile in my throat. I realized Sans probably isn't aware that I have this power if his own memories are limited to when he first started going my head. At that point in my life I wasn't even aware that I would SAVE and die and go back. Those were the days where the limbo I'd rest in only was a blink long. He probably thinks I'm dead right now… I started to kick myself for not giving Sans more of a breakdown to what an anomaly I was before he went back into my mind.

Instead I got so choked up in having to refrain myself around him during the days in the hospital and recovery. He held not only no memories of how we slowly drifted together, but currently held no inclination to even be attracted me…

The Sans I grew to know looked at me with a spark of giddiness and attraction in his eyes. The Sans the woke up in the hospital just a week ago looked at me like I was still the kid he would walk to school or just the friend who played video games with him on weekends. I felt diminished and small.

His lack of memories concerned everyone else as well. Well, except Papyrus really. Pap saw his brother as the same comical and lazy goofball he always knew. Sure, Sans wouldn't be able to recall any recent goings with his brother, but Papyrus never really asked him to. Toriel was concerned as ever and doted to Sans' every need; while Undyne believed he would remember if we just took him his favorite places, but that plan failed quickly as the two places Sans enjoyed were Grillby's and his own room. Not exactly anything crazy enough to jog his memory.

I cringed at myself as I remembered how pathetic my kiss must have seemed back in the hospital. Even me, his own girlfriend, couldn't spark his memories with a kiss.

Sans was clever though. When he returned home from the hospital under strict guidelines to get as much as rest as possible (to which he had no complaints), Sans however started weighing the options.

"so i lost my memories in your dreams?" Sans sat up in the recliner in the living room, pillows crowding every nook and cranny around him thanks to Toriel.

We were watching the MTT News Network and eating burgs and fries I picked up from Grillby's.

"Yeah, when you woke up after being asleep for a few days and not being responsive…" I swallowed hard, I didn't like talking about it. It was all my fault he couldn't remember. If only I just tried to get help with my nightmares another way… Maybe Alphys could have a solution, I shouldn't have believed Sans was my only option.

Sans sat up and turned to me. "no ki—frisk, like, my memories are in your dreams right?"

I finished chewing one of my fries and met his eyes. "I don't think I get what your point is?"

"what i'm saying is, what if my memories are just trapped in your dreams. couldn't i just go in and get them somehow?"

And I regrettably let him back in that night. Wait, that was just last night… God, dreams made life seem so much longer. Especially after I've been through this day already. It was late morning, again, but this time I knew what was going on.

I gave into my selfishness last night and again risked Sans' life just because I wanted my Sans back so badly. And now I risk never having any Sans in my life again…

But I saw Sans. The brief moment where Chara held me in their arms before stabbing me in the back, I saw him. The last thing I remember seeing was the bright glow of blue emitting from Sans chest. I could feel my own soul grow warm as I thought about him. Even though this Sans doesn't remember our relationship, somewhere deep inside his own soul, he must know what ties us together.

I crept over to the side of the bed and hesitantly laid my hand in his. I thumbed over his boney fingers gently, I realized I was being cautious out of habit. Sans wasn't going to wake up from this, and I knew from before I died he wouldn't even wake up if I started crying and shaking him.

Today I wasn't going to allow myself to cry.

I saw what I was going to be up against. A fear that whispered in the back of my mind was proven true. Chara was attempting to take away Sans from me by taking his memories of us ever being together.

I didn't want to imagine what ways Chara could be torturing Sans. From the brief moment I got to see Sans, I knew I wasn't in my own dreams. Wherever we were, there was an air of darkness I only ever felt in glimpses in my own dreams… And to be honest, I didn't know from who these auras radiated from more.

I had to do something different when I could actually fall asleep tonight. I had to have some sort of plan in place. But then again… if I did that, wouldn't Chara know about it ahead of time?

I frowned. How fair was it that Chara could peek into my life yet I could never peek into theirs?

Sans' fingers twitched and a small spark of blue magic popped in my hand. He must be fighting again…

The last time I experienced this day I spent most of my time watching over Sans and hoping that somehow on his own he'd awake again just as he did in the hospital. A voice told me that I wouldn't be as lucky twice….

God I wish Sans was here and aware of the situation I was in. He could be so analytical when he wanted to survey a problem to reach a solution.

That's it! Alphys! She might be able to help us. When Sans was in the hospital, she ran tests on his coma-like state, she only told her findings to Sans however.

Only issue however is that Sans and I kept this dream travel a secret for almost a decade now… I was nervous about how she would react to only now finding this out.

I stood up and gave one last look at Sans before bending down to kiss his forehead.

"I'll get to you soon… And this time I won't die as easily."

The journey to Alphy's lab was not far relatively speaking. It was definitely easier when Sans could transport us there. I felt my soul surge as my legs picked up pace once I started out on the sidewalk and I started running, not caring what passer-bys might be thinking.

When I reached the lab, I pulled my guest pass out and went down a maze of fluorescent light hallways until I found my way to Alphy's office. Lucky for me, she looked to be enjoying her lunch break.

When I swiped my card again to get through the automated doors, she jumped a little in her seat and nearly dropped her cup of instant ramen.

"F-frisk! I d-didn't expect you to be here?" She pushed up the rim of her glasses and hopped down from her chair.

"Alphys… I need your help, it's kind of an emergency actually…"

She set down her cup and I quickly sat in another chair. I looked at my friend who patiently waited for me to continue. I took a deep breath and before I knew it, everything started to spill out of me. Everything from how selfish I felt for letting Sans risk his life so many times to my fear that if Sans couldn't recover his memories, he'd never fall back in love me again.

"I guess Alphys, I just am really ashamed this isn't something I've come to you sooner about… I feel awful that this seems like I don't trust you." I felt like I've been blabbering and bumbling my words for about the an hour it took to explain the whole situation even admitting to Alphys the knowledge only Sans and I shared regarding my power over the RESETs and the pressure I receiving from Chara to RESET again. I did leave out why Chara wanted me to RESET however…

During my reconciliation, Alphys simply listened and asked questions where needed and jotted down some notes as well. When I finished, I realized I had been crying and my eyes felt very swollen. So much for not crying today.

"Frisk…" Alphys hopped off her chair and waddled over to me. She placed her hands on my shoulders. "You don't need to apologize. You of all people should know that I-I understand where you're coming from, a-after all."

I smiled. I sure felt like a big idiot. Alphys is one of my closest friends, yet I can't help but allow our close relationship to make me forget how forgiving and special she truly is. Of course she'd understand how difficult it is to tell the truth after so many years of secrets. I knew I could trust her about Chara as well, she apparently was aware that the flower she injected DETERMINATION into was part of Asriel… Neither one of us was ready to tell the queen and king about their children.

"All right then." Alphys backed up and clapped her hands together. "Lets figure out if there's a way for you to not die this time."

"You don't seem that surprised about my abilities Alphys?" I couldn't help but ask.

A bashful smile crept on her face. "W-well, as the royal scientist I h-have access to materials and ob-observations made by Sans and the royal scientist before me…"

"Sans wrote materials about me?"

"N-no, not exactly. More like he h-had theories of his o-own that many dismissed d-due to lack of evidence. L-like that t-there's multiple timelines, or parallel universes. I thought those themselves were t-too crazy to be possible. A-after listening to what you said, it clicked for me that Sans was probably c-c-correct on a lot of other theories as well…"

I remember Sans trying to explain timelines to me. I understood that I had the power to RESET timelines, but I couldn't understand his ideas that there are timelines moving at the same stream as this one but with sometimes small or huge differences. He would never tell me why he thought that way though…

"P-plus, I knew something must have been going on dealing with his magic when I ran t-tests on him in the hospital…"

I remembered again how Sans wouldn't tell me what Alphys told him…

"…Can I ask what the results showed?" I swallowed.

Alphys diverted her eyes and bit her bottom lip. "I'm not sure if you want to hear this Frisk… but I-I guess given the current circumstances, you need to know this…"

"What is it?" I felt my palms sweat a little, I've only seen Alphys act this way when she had to deliver bad news to patients families.

"Whatever power was used to manipulate Sans' memories, the process d-did something terrible… S-sans' HP has dropped to .5"

Before I got a chance to even compute what that now meant, Alphys grabbed my hands and sighed.

"…meaning, if he was able to get hurt in your mind or dreams, he could be killed there too."

A vision flashed across my mind, a memory not of my own again, this time I watched as I drove a successful slash across Sans.

Was… Was this just a vision?

Author's Note: Thank you again for your patience with this story! I also know how much it sucks wanting some more romance sooner, but trust me, the build up will be worth it. Please leave comments for me! I read each one and take them to heart!