^.^

No matter what I did Jack always found a way to make me feel like a kid. To somehow make me feel like I wasn't in control of my own feelings. It was so damn irritating! I was seventeen turning eighteen for goodness sakes, I knew if I liked someone and if I didn't.

Why was it so difficult with Jack? All my life I thought he was my one true love. I thought he was the only boy for me.

"Hey are you okay?" Hiccup was home late. I was sitting in the lounge chair on the deck, there was a slight chill outside but in the humidity of the island nights it actually felt really nice. Plus I stayed cozier in my fluffy nighttime sweater that my mom bought me for Boston winters.

"Yeah, why?" I crossed my legs on the chair to make room for him as he sat on the edge.

"Jack just mentioned something about you not being okay."

My heart stopped for a moment when he said his name and instantly I was back in his room this evening, standing in front of him with his hands touching me and his lips so close to mine.

Was this some kind of warning? That I should tell Hiccup I wasn't over Jack yet? This is what he wanted wasn't it, for me to always be on that string of his.

But what if I didn't tell Hiccup? Would Jack tell him?

My mind swirled with questions suddenly, making me dizzy.

I didn't want to hurt Hiccup. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Hiccup. But Jack was right, I couldn't be with him if I still had feeling for Jack.

"How are my play clothes working?" Anna giggled into the phone snapping me out of my memory from last night.

In the end, cowardly, I didn't tell Hiccup about Jack. Instead I told him everything was okay and hugged him goodnight while he rummaged the fridge for leftovers.

I was idly wandering through the isles of the drug store at the town mall. When it came to boy advice, Anna was the single best person to go to. Besides, she knew all my dirty secrets with these boys.

"No. I haven't worn them," aside from a couple of the bikinis which I had to admit where kind of cute.

"You try to help a girl out and this is the thanks I get," she sighed on the other line and then chuckled again, "what's up buttercup?"

"It's this whole Jack and Hiccup thing. Hiccup is so good and nice but now all of a sudden Jack keeps making me feel like I'm emotionally cheating on Hiccup."

"Ugh. Just forget about him and let Hiccup make you feel good. You don't need that kind of confusion in your life." Anna was a little harsh towards Jack since her summer out here. But she did have a point.

"Yeah I don't know if I can." She didn't understand how much Jack meant to me.

"Well Elsa, I don't know what else to tell you. This is all on you and if you feel like you don't know then maybe it's best to let Hiccup off the hook until you figure it out." Wow. For once Anna sounded so grown up and wise. Then again she's had numerous boyfriends in the time I've only been hung up on one guy.

"Thanks, Anna. I miss you."

"Miss you too girl. It'll all work out."

I was just about the leave the store when I heard someone call my name. Turning around I recognized the girl as Astrid. Hiccups ex girlfriend.

"Hey, I knew you looked familiar! I didn't think you would be out here. I heard about your mom, my condolences," Astrid was actually a really nice girl who I liked. She was very sincere and kind. Just like Hiccup.

"Thank you, I thought you would be back home. Just out for the summer?" She was very pretty in the way Anna was pretty, which always kind of bugged me. She also wore her hair in braids. I noticed how tan she was already, she must have been out here for a while.

"Yeah just stopping by, we've been in Florida but I thought I would stop here before heading home. I actually need to see Hiccup, have you heard from him?"

What? I was curious suddenly. What did she need from Hiccup?

"Uh, yeah he's working at the club. But I can let him know you're looking for him." I smiled back at her when she did.

"Thank you, Elsa. That would be very helpful. Anyways I'm just heading out. It was good to see you again!"

"You too!" I waved to her as she smiled and turned to leave.

What on earth could Astrid need from Hiccup? My curiosity was piqued and decided to head to the club to hunt some answers.

It was a private club but I got in by claiming I had a lunch for Hiccup. That was a lie but it didn't matter. Once on the outdoor pool deck I found Hiccup by the guard chair next to a female guard. Once he saw me he smiled and waved me over.

"Hey Els, what's up?" His hair was still wet and I assumed he just went for a swim.

"Nothing, I just wanted to come say hi since I was in town. How's work?" I glanced around. The pool was pretty empty minus an old guy in the hot tub.

"Pretty good, this is Perri. She's a guard in training," she was a petite sandy blonde haired girl. Perri smiled up at me and said hi, I said hi back.

"Guess who I ran into…Astrid,"I eyed his reaction and he made a face and shifted uncomfortably.

"Did she say anything?" He asked.

"Just that she wanted to get a hold of you. I told her I would let you know that she's looking for you." I didn't think I would have to spell it out for him. What is his ex doing here looking for him?

"Oh, okay you didn't have to tell her anything, though."

"So this is my fault?" I was suddenly on edge.

"No no," Hiccup raised his hands out in front of him and I could tell Perri was uncomfortable as she quietly excused herself.

"I just mean you didn't need to tell me she's looking for me. It doesn't matter if she is or isn't."

"I'm not going to lie to Astrid. She asked me if I saw you to tell you, is there anything I should know about?" I crossed my arms.

"No, nothing she's just being clingy."

"Well, why is she here looking for you?"

"I-I don't know. Really, Els. It could be anything with that girl." He reached out to grab my hand.

"Don't worry, babe. I'm with you, not her. I'll talk to her and see what she wants and then we can go back to normal," he stepped in close to me and put a hand on my waist. It felt so nice to have him hold me like this.

I didn't have anything to worry about, he was right. This was Hiccup after all. He would never hurt me.

"Okay, I'll see you at home," I stood on my tip toes and planted a kiss on his cheek. He waved me off and I left feeling relieved.

Here, I was hassling Hiccup about Astrid when I didn't even know what I wanted. Jack or Hiccup?

I knew, I would have to figure that out.

And I knew exactly where to start.

^.^

I threw on my white rash guard over a blue bikini and grab my surfboard. Well it wasn't really mine but I borrowed it. I much preferred to swim in the water but sitting on the surfboard while the waves rocked me back and forth was very calming.

I never went out too far, just far enough where the waves curled over. Luckily they barely capped over, so the water stayed relatively still as I sat crossed legged on the board. The view was breathtaking, I learned never turn your back away from home when you're in the ocean because it will carry you away. So I always stare at the shore, watch the summer house. Down the beach I could see people walking along.

What was I doing? I clearly wasn't over Jack and honestly, I don't think I will ever be. I nursed a crush on him for months until I got to see him again, how could I just suddenly stop caring for him. Or being attracted to him.

I needed to tell Hiccup. It wasn't fair to him to be with me if I was still so confused about his brother. Our relationship was so young but somehow I knew it would be okay. Hiccup would understand, give me the time I needed.

This is what knew was right.

I decided to ride a wave back to shore. I wasn't very good at surfing so I stayed as low as possible so I wouldn't fall.

^.^

Back at the house, Val had gone out with some friends of hers. She left a little note saying there was some dinner in the fridge. Mashed potatoes and steak. I heated a plate and treked around the kitchen surprised I was the only one home so late. Wasn't Hiccup suppose to be off?

Suddenly I heard a noise, it sounded like a female voice. Investigating, I slowly made my way to the staircase. There were a string of more voices, a male and a female, coming from upstairs, which I followed to the first room on the left - Hiccups room.

I could only hear a string of giggles coming from Hiccups room.

"So, you and Elsa are a thing now! Isn't she like, a kid still?" Astrid laughed from inside the bedroom. The door was cracked open ever so slightly. Everything boiled within me, my heart was hammering in my chest so loudly I could hear it. I felt so dizzy I leaned against the wall for support while trying to see if I could get a glimpse of them. Hiccups bed was conveniently in front of the door, so I could see through the sliver of the crack. I saw shoes on the floor, a sweater and a pair of pants. Hiccup was under the covers, leaned up against the wall while Astrid was sitting on the end of his bed, facing him.

"Astrid, you can't just come here and start something," Hiccups sounded tired and annoyed.

"I'm serious! What's it like dating a kid?" Astrid's voice was light and mocking. Suddenly I didn't like her as much as I use to.

"That's none of your business." His voice was hard, "I think you should go." Hiccup warned, shifting uncomfortably.

"I'll be in town, give me a call if you get bored. We both know you're an animal." I hated how sickeningly seductive her voice sounded. The innuendo burned at my ears. Of course Hiccup and Astrid have done it - Hiccup has done it many times. All while I was still a virgin, hopelessly waiting for my prince in white armor.

I heard their shifting footsteps and frantically ran towards the open pantry door just in front of Hiccup's room. Once inside I closed it as much as I could, hoping no one saw me. I blinked quickly to hide the tears I didn't know stung at my eyes.

"Astrid?" I heard Jack's voice from the hall, probably just catching her leave Hiccups room.

"J-Jack, hello, I'm just leaving," she said startled, before I heard her footsteps descending down the stairs and the front door close.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Jack roared and I flinched. I've never heard him sound so mad before.

"Calm down, we didn't do anything." Hiccup sounded nonchalant.

"What do you think someone is going to assume seeing your ex leave your bedroom. Does Elsa know?"

"Shut up, Jack. What the hell do you know about Elsa anyways? You've been an asshole to her. I bet you haven't even told her about -"

There was shuffling all of a sudden before a loud thud and I heard Hiccup grunting.

"I'm warning you, don't screw things up with her." Jack growled.

I couldn't believe this. Why were the boys fighting over me? What didn't I know? As they broke themselves apart and retreated to their own rooms. I slowly opened the pantry door, letting everything that happened within the last ten minutes truly sink in.

The only person that flooded my mind was Jack in those moments. What didn't he tell me? There was something going on that was bigger than me, I realized. Bigger than anything I could ever be apart of. Somehow, I felt like I made it worst, whatever was bothering Jack. Is that why he's been so hard on me. Is he truly suffering, watching his brother be happy with the girl he wants.

I was the girl he wanted, wasn't I? He sent mixed signals, but deep in my heart I knew Jack felt the same way. If this wasn't a sign, I didn't know what was. I needed to tell Hiccup that I had to figure out my feelings for Jack and him. I needed to let Jack know I wasn't going to push him away anymore this summer, he needed to realize I wasn't that 11-year old girl anymore.

^.^

Authors Note:

WOW there's a lot happening! SOO many unanswered questions that will be answered!

What is Jacks little secret?

Find out, next chapter! Review and favorite!

Cassie