Pre-notes:

Be warned there are some mild swear words in this chapter and very mature content!

^.^

I was waiting for him on the beach. It was the middle of the night and had been about a week since I overheard him and Jack. Before leaving the house I slipped a note under his door and waited for him to get home, hopefully he would see it.

Being on the beach at night was strange, the only lights came from the shoreline houses. It was serine in such a mysterious way. I could hear the casual rolling of the water, eager to entice me in like a siren singing a dangerous song to sailors.

I checked my watch, not wanting to bring my phone in case he chose the lazy way out and called me. I left it on in my room, to let him know I wanted to see him. Just past twelve when I saw a figure in the distance leaving the beach house.

My eyes were adjusted to the dark already so I could just make his silhouette out. His hands were in his pockets when he came up to me.

"This is very ominous, is everything okay?" Concerned colored his tone and I was suddenly very happy I couldn't see his beautiful mossy green eyes. They would break me.

"Hiccup, there's something I need to tell you." My voice was barely recognizable under all the guilt. But my mind was made up, this is what I needed to do.

When he didn't say anything I continued.

"When you asked me to go forward in a relationship with you it made me really happy. You have always known you could make me happy. You're cooler than any other guy I've met and I've known you forever. But when I thought I could go out with you I thought I was completely over -"

"It's Jack isn't it? You're still not over him," Hiccup's voice was distant with a dangerous undertone. I somehow wasn't surprised he knew about Jack and how much I loved him. I chased after him all my life of course everyone would know.

"Hic, I didn't mean for it to-"

"No, I get it. But why can't you see he'll never treat you the way I do. He doesn't see you the way I do."

I could feel my eyes starting to tear up and it wasn't fair. I wasn't suppose to cry. But what he's saying is right, Jack would never see me the way Hiccup did and I wish he would. I wish Jack could see me like Hiccup. I wish I could just chose Hiccup but I knew deep down it would always be Jack. I found it suddenly hard to breath.

"I'm so sorry, Hiccup. Please don't be mad at me -" I reached out for him and was surprised how fast he recoiled away from me. I bite my lip out of habit as I sucked in a mouthful of air.

Hiccup ran a hand through his hair frustrated as he turned away from me before dropping his head.

"He'll just break your heart again Elsa, I wouldn't do that to you."

"What about Astrid? I know she was over last week. I heard what she said."

He didn't know I knew, why would he? I hide in the closet while listening to them last week. "We didn't do anything, I would never do that to you Elsa. Regardless of any of the crap she says. Do you really think that way of me?" There was a broken note in his voice when he slowly turned back around to face me.

"N-no," I suddenly felt very ashamed of bringing it up, and I felt my face get hot. "I don't, Hiccup please don't be mad at me," I begged again and this time he stepped back away from me as I inched closer.

There was silence. It felt like hours until he said something and I tried so hard to fight the urge to keep talking to fill the void. Silence only screams the truth and that terrifies me. It terrifies me that Hiccup could be mad at me.

"I'm not mad at you. He'll just end up hurting you. I'm just - " he took a big gasp of air as his voice cracked "why does it always have to be Jack?"

He didn't give me the chance to say anything. The moment it was out, he started walking down the opposite side of the beach away from the summer house. I was shaking, suddenly aware of how weak I was. I sunk into the sand on my knees shaking so hard, letting the shame recoil over me.

Hiccup was upset, I've never seen him so upset before. Burying my face in my knees I sat on the beach thinking he would come back, apologize and say it was okay, I could take my time.

But he never did.

^.^

Late the next morning I was in the kitchen when Jack turned the corner.

"Is Hiccup at work?" I needed to know he was okay after last night. I tried texting him but got no reply. I just wanted to know he was safe because if anything happened to him I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. I held my breathe for the answer.

"Don't know, he left this morning though," Jack was looking in the fridge now and I breathed a sigh of relief - thank goodness he was at least home.

"Where's your mom?" I was actually surprised not to find her awake with breakfast ready. She got in a couple days ago and this was her last day before leaving for work.

"She's asleep."

"Oh," that was strange. She never slept in. Suddenly, I realized I could talk to Jack alone.

I didn't get that chance though because he flipped on his beats headphones after grabbing a bottle of water and was leaving out the back door. I would wait though, and while waiting I decided to stay indoors and watch a movie.

^.^

Halfway through The Lady and The Tramp I heard the door open.

"Hiccup?" I called from the living room and Stoick rounded the corner with a small bag.

"Oh, hi Mr. Frost," I tried not to sound too disappointed. Stoick was the boy's biological father and a strict one at that. I was always a little intimidated by him, I heard stories of how mad he would get after hockey games if Jack hadn't taken a shot or if he hadn't played well - even though I thought he played fantastic.

"Elsa, I didn't know you would be down here this summer," he said and gave me a sad smile. Stoick was a businessman and always travelling. Though we all know he much preferred building things, he loved doing projects and making things with his hands. But he was much better suited to be a leader because he was a great one.

"Yeah I thought it was best to come down for a bit - just like old times."

"It's very good to see you my dear, do you know where Val is?"

"Sleeping upstairs, what's the bag for?" I nodded towards the small bag.

"Just some medication for Valka. Jack was suppose to pick it up but never showed up."

"Is she sick? Will she be okay?" I was worried now. Val never took medication why was she starting now?

"It's just precautionary, if you'll excuse me, Elsa," Stoick smiled and nodded at me before turning and going up the stairs. He was a man who loved his wife, no matter how often they were apart he would always remind her of how much he loved her. He would send her flowers and snacks while on business during the summer. Along with postcards and pictures. I wanted a love like theirs, one that was pure and solid.

Still, I was worried for Val. I was going to ask her just what was wrong when she came down stairs. I couldn't stand her being ill, it made me shiver. She was always so energetic and happy, there was no way she would let some sickness defeat her.

And why didn't she ask me to pick up her medicine? We all knew Jack was unreliable as of late. All he did was drink, stay in his room and workout.

I finally heard Jack outside. He sat on the porch, his shirt now off and stuffed in his pocket. His skin was usually pale but during the summer is was a bronzed by the sun. I walked up to him with no real plan in mind.

"Jack," when he didn't react the first time I said "Jack," louder. I was surprised he flinched. It was unusual to catch Jack off his guard. But this felt like a good sign, Jack had a million walls. He flipped off his headphones, stood up and stared back at me with those baby blue eyes.

I took a deep breath.

"You're the only boy I've ever thought about. My whole life it's always been you. Compared to you everyone else is saltiness, you know I hate saltiness. You know everything about me, so much that you knew I could never be with your brother because I've always been in love with you. And I think you've always known that. I've loved you for as long as I could remember."

He didn't say anything, my heart was pounding so hard in my chest. Why didn't he say anything! This is what he wanted to hear, wasn't it?

"Well you shouldn't. I'm not the one, sorry."

That was all he said and I sucked in a big breathe of air. "Well I know you do! You like me too, I know it, what about all of the things you've told me? You like me too Jack -"

"Not the way you want me to." He sighed as if he felt sorry for me. "You're such a kid, Elsa."

"That's the thing, is I'm not a kid anymore. You wish I was so you don't have to deal with any of this. That's why you've been so mad at me all summer. That's why you think you can get into my head so easily, to manipulate my feelings for anyone else but you."

"You're crazy," he laughed as he turned to walk away. But not this time, he didn't get to go off the hook anymore. I knew he liked me, had real feelings for me and I was going to make him say it out loud. I jumped off the porch and grabbed his arm.

"God you're such an asshole, Jack! You're so selfish! I know you have feelings for me too. This whole time you've strung me along, told me not to give up on you. But you're never going to be happy with anyone unless it's your own reflection!" I was breathing heavily, tears stinging at my eyes but I was too mad to let them escape.

"What do you want from me Elsa?" He shook me off, there was a warning in his voice.

"Admit it. You're just mad I wasn't going to be your little admirer once Hiccup and I were together. You're mad at me because my world doesn't revolve around you anymore." Once the words were out of my mouth I couldn't take them back.

My cheeks were burning red and I could feel my heart thundering beneath my chest. Jack was tense too but trying to act casual. Though, I could see his tightness in every muscle. This was like our last fight - everything was the same.

I was in his face again, "you're just going to keep me on this hook, right? So I'll keep chasing after you and you can feel good about yourself. As soon as I start to get over you, you reel me back in with your 'please don't give up on me Elsa,' crap. You're so screwed up in the head, this is it don't get to keep me anymore, you don't control me."

"You have my brother to play with now, remember? What do you want from me?"

"It's not like that -" why was he doing that? He has it all wrong, that's not what I wanted to do to Hiccup. He was the one stringing me along. My whole life he knew how I felt and he let me love him. He wanted me to. Even when I was ready to move on he wanted me to love him still.

He stepped closer to me, those blue eyes flashing dangerously. "You're the one playing games Elsa."

"Oh yeah, I'm playing games when you're the one coming on to me. All I want to hear from you is that you have real feelings for me! Why is that so hard for you to do?"

"I told you, I don't have feelings for you. Not the way you want me to."

"See, there's your mind games. What about last week in your room? Or the times before that?"

"I was drunk. Had no clue what I was saying, sorry you thought something would come out of it," he shrugged.

"You're not sorry! You don't care about anyone, you're own mother has to suffer from you're stupid mind games. You think we haven't notice how different you are! She's sick and you couldn't even be bothered to get medication for her, your dad had to - "

"Shut your mouth," Jack warned and he was so close to me. He could either kiss me or hit me, our faces were so close. I was so mad I wished he would hit me, even though I knew he never would. Even if he was furious at me, he would never lay a hand on me. Not in a million years. He grabbed my arms though and shook me and then just as quickly, let go suddenly. I was crying when Hiccup walked up from the driveway. He must have just ended his shift lifeguarding because he was still wet.

He took one look between the two of us and knew something was happening.

"What the hell is going on? Jack, what's you're problem?"

"Just keep her the hell away from me, I'm not in the mood to deal with any of this," Jack glared at him

I flinched. It was like he hit me in those seconds.

"You need to start dealing with this, man. You're acting like a jerk. You're suppose to be the older brother, but all year since the call you've been running away, getting drunk and sulking like a kid. Freaking act up, dumbass."

"Get out of my face," Jack growled.

"No." Hiccup stepped closer until their faces were inches apart, like how Jacks and mine had been moments before.

"You're the one that left when we found out! You're the reason she's gotten so bad because all everyone does is worry about you, you selfish -"

Jack moved so fast when he shoved Hiccup away from him. Hiccup roughly pushed him back and Jack stumbled, falling back. He got up in one quick motion and punched Hiccup in the face. There was a sickening sound of skin hitting skin and I screamed. Hiccup stumbled backwards and threw a punch back, hitting him in the jaw. They threw each other around, circling each other like a pair of fighting dogs, growling and ready to rip each other apart. They stumbled over a glass vase that shattered and there was blood in the sand. I didn't know whose it was. Hiccup lost his flip flow and blood started flying but that didn't stop them from shoving and hitting each other.

"Stop! Stop it!" I screamed and impulsively ran towards them. I grabbed Jack's arm and he roughly threw me back as if I weighed nothing. I grunted as I hit the ground - the wind being knocked out of me. I don't know how long I sat there for but suddenly everything stopped.

"Boys!" Val was at the door. All of us snapped our attention to her suddenly and she looked like an angel with her white gown flowing in the wind. Her soft features took in the scene before her and I could see the sadness behind those green eyes suddenly.

She stepped down the stairs, unphased by the glass and held out her arms to Hiccup who sucked in his breathe that I knew he had been holding. His face was swollen and already had a bruise forming around his eye. Once Val was close enough though he crumpled into her embrace. Even though he was much bigger than she was, in that moment he looked so small. Blood smeared on the front of her white dress, but they didn't pull away. He held her tightly and I knew he was trying hard not to cry when suddenly he began sobbing in her arms.

I've never seen Hiccup cry since the time he was fifteen and Jack closed the car door on his hand. I watched as he sobbed into her shoulder and Val reached out to Jack. He froze and hesitated at first but stepped into her embrace as well. There was a bruise already forming on his cheek as well and he bowed his head and let her run a hand through his hair.

Suddenly I was very aware that everything that has happened was far beyond me. This was something I could never be apart of. I saw Stoick in the door as he motioned for me to come inside. I looked back once more at the tender and fragile moment of the boys and their mother. Something sparked between me then, this was something I didn't even know was happening -all of Jack's moodiness and sudden disdain. It had something to do with this.

Stoick sat me down at the kitchen table, stroking the bridge of his nose.

"Elsa, I don't know how to say this," his whole body was tense before kneeling before me and grabbing my hand. Those brown eyes looked deeply into my own and I could see them gloss over.

"Val has been diagnosed with cancer. She's dying."

My face burned. Everything around me turned into a ringing noise as tears filled my eyes. I couldn't control them. This wasn't happening. With shallow breaths I tried to breath, recalling the words Stoick just told me.

'Val has been diagnosed with cancer.'

'She's dying.'

^.^

Author notes:

Let's see how Elsa reacts to this new situation. Now that she knows Jack has been acting out because of his mom having cancer, does that change their relationship? Or will he keep pushing her away?

Read next chapter! Please review and Favorite!

Cassie