I woke up late the next morning, if you could even call it that. It was more of the early afternoon. The sky was grey and it looked like it was going to rain all day. That just meant more time with Val, to watch movies and read together. It will be good. I decided to call Fin, needing my brother for support.

"Hey, what's up brat?" his annoying voice came through the line. Why did I need to call him again?

"I'm not a brat," I defended and he laughed. I suddenly missed his laugh - even though it was usually at my expense.

"No seriously, what's up? Dad has us going fishing and I don't want to bring my phone out there." I could imagine Fin in a pair of designer khakis, a beater and a pair of designer sunglasses on his face, while dad wore his fishing vest, a button down plaid shirt and a pair of board shorts or jeans.

Lucky. I wish I could be with them - but I knew being here was more important. Suddenly, I didn't know what to say. I should tell him ,I know that. But he was having a good time, he shouldn't need to be burdened.

In that moment,I knew how Val felt. Keeping this terrible secret for the benefit of someone else. I knew exactly how she felt now.

"A-are you and dad going to be here for my birthday? It's in two weeks." It was so crazy how fast everything flew by. My birthday meant the end of summer.

"Don't be a baby, Els. We probably won't be able to make it, if we do I'll let you know though."

"You're so rude."

"Alright, is that all? Oh, dad says hi." Flynn said in an urgent tone. I could hear the constant noise in the background - he sounded busy.

"Hopefully I get to see you guys! Have fun, I miss you."

He laughed, "no you don't, but I'll take it, baby sis. Talk later, love you."

^.^

When I went downstairs, Val was wearing one of her cotton house dresses again. Suddenly, I realized she had been wearing them all summer - they hid how thin her arms were and how her collar bones jutted out of against her skin.

"Can I help?" I asked, leaning on the counter, pushing past my grief. She smiled and nodded.

"You can mix the batter, thank you Elsa."

Val was the hands down the best baker and cook in my whole life. No disrespect to my mom, she sure did try, but Val had her beat. If mom was here she would agree. We just finished putting the muffins away and Val leaned on the counter, her back to me. She was looking down.

"This is a lot more work than it use to be," Val sighed and flattened her dress down. I couldn't stop myself from wrapping my arms around her. She turned into me and I tucked my head in the space between her neck and her shoulder.

She said in a tight voice, "You'll look after him, won't you?"

"Who?"

I could feel her cheeks form into a smile, "You know who."

"Yes." I whispered. I held her tight to me, I didn't need her to tell me who it was.

"Good," she sighed, "he needs you."

I pulled away, looking into those beautiful mossy green eyes, "Val?"

"Hmm?"

"Promise me something?"

"Anything, my dear."

"Promise me you'll never leave."

"I promise." She said without any hesitation and I let out a breath. We made a sweet topping for the muffins with brown sugar, butter and oats. We took the muffins out early because we just couldn't wait any longer and we ate them while they were still steaming, hot and gooey in the middle.

"Graduation is just around the corner!" Val said as she ate her muffin from across, "make sure you take a lot of pictures of your first big dance. I sure hope it's one of my boys who get to take you. But any guy is lucky to have you as their date!"

I blushed, "Hiccup would probably take me, if he has time from college that is. I would really like you as a date though," I finished both of my muffins by the time Val munched on half of her first.

"Elsa you're so lucky. You're mom would be so proud of the beautiful and strong woman you've grown into."

I cleaned up for Val and she fell asleep on the couch when Stoick came around the corner.

He took a look around and asked, "need anymore help in here Elsa?"

"No I think I got it, Val is asleep," I nodded over and he glanced at her direction with a sad smile.

"I tried to get her to tell you. She's just so stubborn. I'm sorry you had to find out the way you did." Stoick stood at least a foot taller than me, but in that moment he looked so small. So defeated.

"It's fine. I only want the best for her, I would never be mad at either of you. But, I do have a question. W-what kind of cancer?"

"Pancreatic. They found it at stage 2 before trying to remove it. There was no way due to the blood vessels. Radiation seemed to slow the spread but right after it came back more violently."

"But, they can do something right?"

Stoick was dead silent, choosing his words very wisely before he spoke.

"Aggressive stage 4 pancreatic cancer is fatal."

I looked down, biting my lip when Stoick touched my shoulder.

"Just remember Elsa, she's where she wants to be. She's here, happy and living the rest of her life exactly where she wants to be. None of us can take that away from her."

Hiccup rounded the corner, and Stoick stood up again. I wiped the sides of my eyes when tears slipped out.

"Hic, bring your mother upstairs to bed, will you."

Without a word he found her, lifted her up like she weighed nothing and went up the stairs. She looked so small and frail in his arms and I stood there in the kitchen when Stoick left and weeped.

^.^

The sky remained grey, and there was a chill in the air. The rain had never come like that but it will soon.

It took me a while to find him in the mistiness of the day. He was about a mile down, I knew he would be there. He always came back to the beach - just like me.

He sat with his knees close to this chest and didn't even look at me when I sat down next to him. He just stared out at the ocean.

His eyes were bleak - like empty abysses. Just empty sockets, with nothing there. The boy I thought I knew so well was gone. He looked so lost sitting there and I felt that old pull - the gravitational desire to be with him. The irresistible urge to inhabit him, no matter where he was in the world I would know where to find him and I would do it. I would find him and bring him home, I would take care of him. Just like Val had wanted.

I spoke first, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hurt -"

"Stop talking." He said.

"I'm sorry," my voice shook as I stood up to leave.

"Please, don't go," Jack's voice was barely a whisper and I sat back down beside him and he collapsed. His shoulders crumpled and his face did too as he hid it in his hands. In that moment, he was five again. We both were.

"I'm so pissed at her," each word that came out of him was like a gust of concentrated air. He bowed his head again, his shoulders broken and bent. He was finally crying.

I watched him silently. It felt like I was intruding on a private moment, but I couldn't pull myself away. I sat in my spot, my eyes never leaving Jack. The old Jack liked to be in control, he would never let me see him in his moment of weakness. He would never let me see him like this - never let me see what he looked like with his walls down.

That old pull tugged at me again and I was swept into the current of first love. It had never left, I realized. Here Jack sat in front of me, in more pain than I could ever imagine possible. His heart and soul poured out of him as he sobbed and shared this moment with me. The moment of grief, of pain.

He still took my breath away, just being near him. I had been lying to myself the night before. Thinking I was free. Thinking I could let him go. It didn't matter what I said, or what he said or did. I would always come back. I could never let him go.

I wondered if it was possible to take someone's pain away with a kiss. That was what I wanted to do, take all of his pain and sadness away, to comfort him and make the boy I knew come back. I reached out and touched the back of his neck, he jerked forward but I didn't take my hand away. I let it rest there, stroking the back of his hair and then I cupped the back of his head, moved it towards me and kissed him.

Tentatively at first and then he started kissing me back, and we were kissing each other. His lips were warm, needing mine as much as I needed his, and the only thing I thought was 'I'm kissing Jack Frost and he's kissing me back'. Val was dying and I was kissing Jack.

He was the one to break away first, "I'm sorry," his voice raw and scratchy.

I touched my lips with the back of my fingers, "for what?" I couldn't catch my breathe.

"It can't happen like this," he said, pondering his next words he said, "I do think about you. You know that. I just can't … Can you just be here with me?"

I nodded, too afraid to open my mouth. I took his hand and it felt like the most right thing I had done in a long time. We sat there, on the beach, holding hands like it was something we have been doing all along. It started to rain, softly at first and then picked up until it came down harder. I wanted to get up and go inside but I could tell Jack didn't. So we sat there, in the pouring rain, holding hands in the sand. Everything else felt really far, it was just us.

^.^

Authors Notes:

Now we kind of know a little bit of Jacks side! Thank you for all the awesome PM's and reviews! I love hearing all of your opinions! I do apologize for any late messages, I'm so bad for checking FF if I'm not on here about to put a story up!

This was a little bit of a step back from the usual Jack we get to see, but will this change how he is?

Cassie.