I probably would have slept in later than 8:30, but neighbor woke me up. She was screaming at her dogs… again. It's creepy. She likes to swear at them. They run away a lot. Sometimes I wonder if her dogs want to get away. Like, far away. Hmm. A mystery.

Anyway, I just watched some abridged episodes of Saiyuki and it really gets you in the mood for writing something funny, so here's chapter 27!

… There hasn't been a review in a month? Have I lost my readers? Oh dear.

"You know, Risa," said Riku, eating a slice of pizza they had heated up in Daisuke's room, "I really wish you'd told me that you knew Daisuke was Dark."

"Why would I tell you?" Risa said. "After all, I'm trying to keep people away from Dark. That way I can have him all to myself!"

Daisuke hadn't touched his pizza, too upset about Risa not liking him to speak.

"Three words, Daisuke: Fab u lous!" Donis said, looking at Daisuke's paintings.

"Say yeah, you're a really good artist," Riku commented. "They almost look like photographs. Though that one of Risa is almost too good. It's scary."

"Hey, you don't know how much stalking it took me to get her face to look just right," Daisuke returned smugly.

Silence reigned in the room, as Daisuke realized that was something you probably shouldn't say smugly, let alone say at all.

"Um, let's have some ice cream," Daisuke said, using the knowledge he'd gained from his mom's book How to Clear Up Moments of Awkwardness. "I have chocolate, vanilla, moose ripple, banana slug, toenail crunch- Riku, stop staring at me like that!"

Riku shook her head angrily. "You're no better than Takeshi."

"Oh my!" Donis grinned. "What say you, Daisuke?"

"That hurt!" Daisuke said, feeling tears develop in his eyes.

"Well, that was hardly masculine. I was hoping for something better." Donis sipped from the watercolor flower-adorned China tea cup he always carried around with him.

"It's almost eight thirty; we should be going soon," Riku mumbled.

"Fine… leave…" Daisuke whimpered.

"But you can't leave yet!" said Daisuke's mom, bursting in suddenly. "We still haven't explained Dark to you! Come on, we have to go downstairs!"

"Mom… we don't have to show them that room," Daisuke growled. The room where the spirits were taken out of looked creepy, like it belonged in a Medieval Castle and not underneath anything modern, with an exception to Disneyland.

"Well, you don't have to come because you're going on a mission now anyway. Here you go!" Daisuke mom tossed him Dark's thief outfit, all nice and ironed and warm from the dryer.

"Thanks, Mrs. Niwa!" said Dark, thumbs-upping her.

'Dar-ark! Did you have to come out? I didn't get to say goodbye to my half-friends!' Daisuke whined.

Dark turned to Riku and Risa. "Daisuke says good-" But Risa cut him off with a squeal of joy.

"EEEEEEEEK! It's Dark in the flesh! I can't believe this!" Risa started bouncing up and down.

"And what do you have to say, Dark?" Riku asked with a smirk.

After much contemplation, Dark decided, "I could really go for a hamburger right now."

"What do you have to say about me?!" Risa asked, eyes shining.

"Your boyfriend is one lucky guy!" Dark said truthfully.

Dark! Daisuke yelled.

"That was awfully forward of you," Donis gasped. "That's not how you talk to girls!"

"Shut up, Lonis or whatever your name is!" Risa turned back to Dark. "I don't have a boyfriend! You can be my boyfriend!"

"Really? Okay!" Dark grinned. "Yes! Now I have a social life! Beat that, Daisuke!"

Risa fainted with happiness and Riku stood next to her in shock.

"Sometimes… I just get so confused…" Riku mumbled absentmindedly, shaking her head.

"Well, I suppose you would, but I know I understood everything that's been happening this whole time." Donis nodded and finished his tea.

'Dark?! How could you do that to me?!' Daisuke inner shouted.

'How could I not? Risa's pretty. Your taste in girls doesn't suck as much as I thought it would', Dark admitted.

Daisuke was mad. He would have to get back at Dark somehow. Somehow...

"Is the trap set-up now?" Satoshi asked Chief Saehara over his walkie talkie.

"Yes, I think so," Chief Saehara responded.

Satoshi turned around. Chief Saehara was five feet behind him.

"Why are we still using these?" Satoshi asked, via walkie-talkie.

"I don't know," Chief Saehara answered, also via walkie-talkie.

Tossing the device aside, Satoshi began to walk behind the art museum and continued, "Now all we have to do is wait for Dark."

"It's already dark," Chief Saehara responded as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Satoshi sighed. "I meant- hey! The van isn't here!"

"Well of course not," Takeshi's dad said.

Satoshi raised an eyebrow. "You told me the trap was ready."

"It is," Chief Saehara said smiling.

"But… the van isn't here. Where is the van?!" Satoshi shouted.

"It's in the art museum," Chief Saehara answered.

"I told you not to do that!" Satoshi slapped his forehead.

"But it's my favorite part of the plan and I so much wanted to do it," he argued.

"I told you! It's a bad idea!" Satoshi growled.

Saehara folded his arms, looking stern. "Mr. Hiwatari?"

"What?" Satoshi glared at him.

"Do you like your job, Mr. Hiwatari?"

Satoshi blinked and said, in an annoyed way, "Okay, okay. We can keep the stupid truck inside."

Saehara grinned. "Oh, good. I know that this plan is just going to work out brilliantly."

"Yeah… I hope so…" Satoshi walked inside, upset at not getting his way. 'At least when I work by myself, no one ever pettifogs with me…'

'You forgot about me!' Krad shouted. ' 'Pettifogs?' '

'No one cares about you. You were only important in chapter ten. Now you're just there to be funny,' Satoshi muttered in his head.

'I feel so unnecessary,' Krad said in a bored way, tapping his fingers on the bottom of the empty space he lived in. Don't worry, everyone; he'll be back soon.

Dark flew off the art museum.

"It's creepy; I really feel like I know this place," Dark said.

Daisuke wanted to say something witty, but was too angry with Dark for stealing his potential girlfriend to feel very witty at the moment.

"Don't be so huffy," Dark said, "She didn't even like you."

'Yeah, well you don't even know what her name is,' Daisuke glowered.

"Other people have names…?" Dark scratched his head even though it wasn't itchy. "Huh?… This is strange."

'What?' Daisuke asked, deciding that he wouldn't be able to not talk to Dark for long because of his natural curiosity.

"Nobody's here. No TV people. No police." Dark looked around like a lost scared kitten and started to droop. "No anybody…"

(It's too bad Risa didn't get to see this because Dark was acting sort of adorable when he was alone. Or maybe I just like lost kittens too much.) But when you got down to it and thought the way Daisuke did, Dark wasn't mourning that no one loved him, he was mourning that all his fan girls were disappearing and no one was completely obsessed with him.

'Suck it up, buddy. Some of us are lucky to have one girlfriend,' Daisuke growled.

"That's because you're a normal boy. I'm pretty!" Dark cried.

'Okay, never mind. I'm not talking to you anymore,' Daisuke said.

"Fine. In I go." Dark slumped forward, very unhappy that his fan girls had diminished.

"What a tragedy," he said while he grabbed the painting, twisting himself into various strange poses as he dodged laser beams that would trigger the alarm as if it were an everyday activity. "I'm sure if someone tried to capture me right now, I'd be so depressed that I wouldn't be able to- Oooh! Distraction! Shiny distraction!"

'What are you pointing at?' Daisuke asked.

"I thought you weren't going to talk to me anymore," Dark said with a grin.

Daisuke huffed.'Stupid natural curiosity...'

"I think it's a truck. Weird. I wonder why it's in here," Dark stated, approaching it. "It's probably a trap… but I'm too depressed to care." Dark walked inside, blinded by the awful depression that had gripped him. That and the fact that shiny things were more interesting than duty. (Ha, ha… duty…)

Dark looked around the truck. It was a weird truck. It was empty. He was sort of hoping there'd be a candy bar or something.

"That got old fast. Time to go," said Dark. But as he turned to leave, the doors closed behind him!

"Hey! Who did that?!" Dark yelled, glancing around.

"Uh, me. I've been standing here the whole time," Satoshi said, waving his hand.

"You shouldn't have hidden," Dark commented, not wanting to sound stupid.

"Behind what?" Satoshi asked.

"Oh," Dark said, realizing he sounded even stupider.

"Well, now I've caught you, Dark," Satoshi said, happy that he could finally say those words after twenty-six chapters. Satoshi evil laughed; he was surprisingly good at it. It was somewhat of a cross between Darth Vader and Voldemort. Or Sasuke and Zabuza.

"Hey, do you practice that in front of a mirror?" Dark asked.

"Why would I? I don't need to see my laugh," Satoshi said.

"Oh." Dark was really sick of stating the obvious.

"Now… I will get my chance to defeat you!" the blue-haired half-villain shouted at Dark.

Yay, I finally wrote!
Hey, this might be a really n00bish question of me, but what are author alerts?

Just curious… I always thought they were bad to get.

Have a good weekend, full of joy, fun and perhaps D.N.Angel.

P.S. Thanks to thesaurus dot com, a website I often use for help with interesting vocab words. If there's a word in here you don't know, chances are that's where I got it from.

P.P.S. Thank you, Sarah, for catching that detail about him not being a purple-haired half-villain. How could I overlook such a detail? As you can see, it's fixed and I bold'd and italicized and underlined it to make sure I would not make such a mistake again. Or I'll have to sacrifice one of these bolded areas to an apology and rant about myself. And I wasn't being sarcastic, just to ensure that...