Let's see, How to start this chapter? Do I introduce the previously mentioned insanely genius and equally evil bitch or the disguised pervert? Flip of the coin maybe?
Oh well, let's just see what happens.
Disclaimer: I do not own Dexter's Laboratory
Chapter Two: But She... I Thought... What The Hell, Man?!
With minor psychological manipulation she controlled her entire family and half the district of Nerima. She had Kuno eating out of the palm of her hand like a trained dolphin, her father became the man he was today through her careful prodding, with application of mild sedatives she had made Kasumi the willing slave of the family, and with only one hint, one, turned Nabiki into the money grubbing bitch she was. Hell, even Aunty Soatome bent to her will. And all that with just psychology, just immagine what she had churning on the back-burners.
Yes, Akane Tendo was perhaps the greatest genius on the planet, her only rivals being those Americans, Dexter and Mandark. So it was within reason for her to be pissed that, no matter the level of psychological manipulation, the creature she unleashed from her secret stash in the guise of cooking( Akane scoffed at the thought of actually doing menial labor.), or the number of enemies Akane had turned on him, Ranma would not bend to her.
If it wasn't enough that his mind and soul were as unbreakable as his body, his pheromone levels were off the charts. High enough to make Akane herself desire sexual relief. The few samples of blood, hair, and skin she was able to retrieve from him were inadequate for her tests and she just couldn't get him into her lab to do more extensive research. Hypnotic suggestion, by this time, was as about as fool proof as a sponge contraceptive and only seemed to work consecutively on Ryoga anyway. She could probably have tried to lure him into her lab with food... a month ago before he'd fought saffron and her robots would have the capabilities of holding him down, but ever since he had defeated the feather brain with a god complex he just couldn't be restrained by something as flimsy as ten ton tested diamon filliment cords.
So she began devising a sedative powrful enough to kill the population of Nerima and part of Tokyo at large, that should keep him out long enough to get him into her lab. But wouldn't you know it, just as soon as she finished it, the bastard went and disappeared for a month. And if that wasn't aggravating enough, when he came back he was twenty times quicker, stronger, and apparently smarter than he was when they last saw him. He wouldn't even allow her to hit him as he normally would with her mallet to inject the sedatives through the very small hypodermic needle carefuly hidden at the tip. She was lucky that when Ranma had struck her back with her own mallet she had been hit with the opposite side and hadn't recieved a dose.
And now, as she lay on the ground next to the koi pond, holding herself, and hissing lightly in pain, she could hear the object of her research and agitation saying something that apparently shocked her sisters to the point of simultaneous 'Oh my's.
She slowly dragged herself to her feet, pushing her public persona to the forefront with the clean up program Kicked Puppy running in the foreground, and slowly made her way back into the living room. The tears gathering in the corners of her eyes would hopefully achieve the affect of knocking Ranma off balance long enough to be able give him a good smack with her hammer.
But before her faked tears could take effect she saw something that made her Anger Drive Sixteen: NHC(Naked Hot Chick) kick into effect with such ferocity that Akane herself nearly felt the nova force rage. It was then further bolstered by Anger Drive Ten: FWR (Flirting With Ranma) when the AD Sixteen trigger started teasing Ranma with a finger trailing under his chin.
Now she did feel the anger.
Akane did not feel any sentimental attachment to the Saotome heir. Indeed some might say she was incapable of feeling attachment to anything or anyone. But she was posessive... as a two year old with your car keys. And just as willing to fight over what she thought was hers and more than willing to throw a tantrum until she got it back if it was taken.
It started as a low, irratic rumbling in the base of the throat that could be called a growl, "Rrrrrrrr", and slowly built into a snarl, "raaaaaaAAAAA", further it grew till it became a cacophonous roar, "AAANNNMM-", that was silence by a sharp look by the dark skinned AD Sixteen trigger.
Preset Full System Override Numero Uno: TAEF( Total, All Encompassing Fear) shut down every system and reflex in her public persona long enough to make even the true Akane's intellect leave her to face the woman, for surely no phrase or term suited the female at Ranma's side more adequately, with nothing but her primal fight or flight instincts, and she knew to fight meant death.
The woman ceased the look and turned back to Ranma who had wiggled away from her in her distraction. She gave a teasing, scolding tsk.
"Oh, Ranma, what's wrong? Am I not pleasing?" She jutted out her chest towards the Saotome heir forcing him to Look away as his cheeks colored slightly. After a month of this he would have thought he'd be used to it.
"Just go put on some clothes, you crazy woman!" Ranma all but yelled. Yoruichi gave an almost cute pout before sauntering up the stairs for a couple seconds before coming back down fully clothed and wearing a grin that seemed to be made specifically for evil plots and crushing enemies with ease when they previously thought themselves strong.
"Now where were we?" She asked rhetorically as she looked at the four conscious people left in the room.
"My status as a meat product in the district of Nerima and the effect of the multiple marriage contracts on my new position," Ranma said as though he had practiced it.
Akane, unable to call her public face back, decided to be quiet during the proceedings. She couldnt even speak at the moment without alluding to the fact that she was not as she appeared. Her sister, her biggest mistake even if she was a success, was too smart now and for all her genius Akane had not found a way to overcome Nabiki's tactics for extortion. That was what made her a mistake. The creation is not supposed to be able to attack the creator.
Apparently someone never read Frankenstein.
"Right," Yoruichi said as she sat down again crossed her arms under her chest and stared directly at Nabiki, "you are the one who sells info, right? Good. I need you to spread around that Ranma is, so to speak, free. Reasons will be given later in greater detail. Tell them that all contracts, written or otherwise, are negated. They may still pursue him if they want, but if I do not approve of them, then they will be taken out of the running. No one girl has more claim on Ranma than another and it is purely down to mutual attraction to decide the relationship."
Nabiki cut in with, "And what makes you so special as to decide who he can and can't see? And why should I even spread this around? What's in it for me?"
Yoruichi grinned a grin that made Nabiki recoil if only slightly, "If you must know, Ranma Saotome of the Saotome School of Indiscriminate Grappling has been legally declared the vassal to the head of the Shihouin family. Two guesses on who that is and one doesn't count."
"And that means to me?" Nabiki crossed her own arms.
"One Hundred."
"A hundred yen wouldn't get you anything from me, lady. Hardly pocket change around here," Nabiki scoffed.
Yoruichi's grin grew sinister, "I wasn't talking about money, little girl."
"Then just what were you talking about?" Nabiki's eyes narrowed.
"Ranma here," Yoruichi slapped him on the back, "has one hundred ways to kill you from where he's sitting."
Nabiki almost barked out a laugh, "Like that's changed at all. And we both know he wouldn't raise a finger to me even if he knew a thousand."
Ranma almost sighed at Nabiki's behavior.
Quite suddenly Nabiki felt the air become dense, almost unbreathable. Each inward breath was a labor and when she exhaled it was just as hard. It felt like the air had become a liquid and she was slowly drowning to death.
Akane's mask had rebooted by this time and one of her reflexes kicked in. She began to stand up to defend her sister when she was hit by the same look from earlier and sat right back down trying desperately not to wet herself.
Nabiki's wheezing and gasping grew more desperate as the pressure seemed to grow every second.
Until it just stopped.
Nabiki drank in the air she so desperately craved almost to the point of hyperventilation. As her breathing stabilized she looked at Yoruichi with a wary eye.
"Now you see, you are right. Ranma would never lift a finger to harm a non combatant. I however find that people are more pliable when they realize that not only do you have the capabilities, but the will to use them. I am not bound in the slightest in my methods. My profession makes it almost impossible for me to have such limits," she was now behind Nabiki, with her finger on Nabiki's chin, the nail digging slightly into her flesh, "Shinobi have only one goal, Nabiki-chan, one limitation..."
Nabiki froze again, and though she could breathe just fine, she felt as though the danger to herself was far, far more serious.
"...Victory."
Ranma watched it all unblinking. His eyes remained half lidded and he looked at peace with the entire situation even though it seemed Nabiki's very life hung in the balance.
If one were to look at his hands, though, they would see that his knuckles were white with tension. Ranma was barely restraining himself from defending Nabiki. He was furious with himself for thinking that Yoruichi would hurt Nabiki. But she said it herself. She was shinobi. Trained to win... trained to kill...
Before his conscience got the better of him Yoruichi was back in her seat beside him.
"If that isn't enough to get you to agree, I can pay you," she reached inside her kimono jacket and pulled out a check, "This should do it."
Nabiki nervously took the check. Her eyes scanned the paper once, twice, three times.
Both Kasumi and Akane's mask became worried when Nabiki fainted and started foaming at the mouth.
Curious, Kasumi looked at the check. Her eyes widened to comical prportions and she spoke only two words as she continued to stare at the paper, "Oh... my."
Akane finally looked and copied her sisters words and eyes.
Good God Damn, thats a lot of zeros! That could fund my research for a thousand years!
Akane looked up when she heard Ranma saying something to Yoruichi.
"Don't you think that you could have just given her the check from the start and avoided the entire need for intimidation, Yoruichi?" Ranma had his face in his left palm with his shoulders slumped in exasperation.
Her grin returned, "But where's the fun if you do everything the easy way?"
Ranma just sighed again as though he shouuld have expected that response and was about to retort when everyone heard Happousais battlecry.
"SWEETO!"
The bouncing ball of perversion hopped around the room and launched himself at Yoruichi.
Too bad he never made it.
Happousai found himself eye to eye with his supposed heir to the art and the boy was growling in his face menacingly. He reached for one of his bombs only to have it taken away immediately. He reached inside his shirt for his pipe and found snapped as soon as it was in his hands. He finally pulled a thermos of water from Stuff Space to try and drench the growling martial artist. The thermos and it's contents were incinerated on sight.
"Oh, Ranma thinks he needs to protect me. That's so cute," Yoruichi proceeded to give her vassal a noogie thus ruining his whole effect over Happousai.
Happousai did not, however, take the chance to escape as he stared at the dark skinned beauty giving his heir a noogie.
Happousai, like Akane, wore a mask. Not one that hid his true personality, no, that perversity and insanity was all him. He wore one over his physical self. He's had to since well over two hundred sixty years ago.
"Yoruichi," Ranma almost whined the name as he pushed her hand away with his free hand.
In Ranma's other hand the aged pervert began to glow and heat up till he forced Ranma let go.
Happousai bounced to the other side of the room. The light began to make it impossible for him to be made out. Cracking began to come from him like someone stepping on a puddle topped with ice. Finally, with a sound like shattering glass, the light broke away from Happousai and, instead of showing the three hundred year old dimunitive, perverted, martial artist, a young man of about six feet and appearing to be about tenty years old was in his place.
+-- End Chapter --+
A/N: Ok this feels about the right place to stop. Please enjoy.