Ugh. Happy Monday. I guess. Too many essays! Three! Not fair! Okay, so one is a lab write-up, but still.

After school, Donis and Daisuke had gone to try out for Risa's play, The Phantom Thief Dark of the Opera.

'Dark,' Daisuke thought. 'You're laughing is really distracting; shut up.'

But Dark was laughing so hard he couldn't hear him.

Daisuke had to admit, the play was pretty ridiculous. Dark? Singing? Daisuke was actually surprised that Dark wasn't offended. This was quite possibly the stupidest thing he'd ever heard.

"Daisuke! Glad you came!" Risa shouted as he walked in. Daisuke was momentarily happy. Risa raced up to him.

"Hello, younger Harada!" Donis beamed.

"Hi. Okay, Daisuke, big favor!" Risa said hands clasped out in front of her. "Could you get Dark to play himself?"

Daisuke was crestfallen, but said, "I don't think so, Risa. It's too risky."

"Oh, come on, don't be a spoil sport! I bet Dark wants to!" Risa begged.

'Come on, Daisuke. This will be hilarious! I'm completely tone deaf; you should hear me sing 'Born Free'. You can even make this work to your advantage.'

'I can?'

'Just think about for a second. You're doing a favor for Risa."

Suddenly, a light bulb appeared over Daisuke's head.

"Okay, Risa, you can have Dark," Daisuke said slyly, "if you'll go on a date with me."

"That's all? Okay," Risa replied.

Daisuke blinked. "Wait - You'll actually do this?"

"You're annoying and I don't like you, but it's a small price to play to get the real Dark!" Risa swooned and then stood up and walked away.

"This is awesome!" Daisuke punched the air.

"She hardly acknowledged me," said Donis sadly, totally unused to being ignored by women.

"She said 'Hi', didn't she? For Risa, that's good," Daisuke explained. "And I've got a date with her! Wahoo!"

"Tree," Risa said with finality.

"A tree?!" shouted some guy with a possibly Japanese name that, for the sake of me not looking up Japanese names, we'll just call Edward because I'm in the middle of the final Twilight book right now. "I've been practicing hard for this! There's no way I'll settle for-"

"Tree."

"But I-"

"Tree."

"Bu-"

"Tree."

"But-! What-? Wait-!" But Risa had already walked to the next person.

"Erm, Miss Harada," the theatre instructor who was also fortuitously named, Mr. Stageguy, said, "Edward has been practicing for a long time. Shouldn't you give him a different part?"

"Okay, fine," Risa sighed. "You're the tree."

"Wait a minute- Risa!" Mr. Stageguy said. "I can't be a tree! I'm the-"

"Tree."

"But… But…" he sputtered, then sighed. Arguing with Risa was about as useful as arguing with a mango. You just wouldn't get anywhere.

"So what am I now, then?" asked Edward more eagerly.

"You're a guy who used to be a tree," Risa instructed.

Earl raised an eyebrow. "And what do I do?"

"Leave. Bye!" Risa shooed him away. "Okay, you. Donis guy."

"Hello!" Donis said to her again.

"Back-up Dark," Risa said without hesitation.

"Back-up Dark? Wonderful!" Donis beamed and immediately began texting Ayaka the news.

"Daisuke, we already covered this." Risa moved on. "Ayaka, Ayaka, Ayaka… I think you'd be best as Dark's GF. Got it?"

"Sweet." Ayaka began texting this info back to Donis.

"Oh look, Daisuke!" Donis said, showing his cell phone with a picture of Ayaka grinning. "Ayaka got the part of Dark's love!"

"Uh, Donis? She's right next to me," Daisuke said, gesturing to her.

"Hello, darling!" Donis waved at her and she waved back. Daisuke sighed.

Risa had gotten farther down the line. She looked very upset. Daisuke wondered why, but he didn't have to wait long to find out.

"No, no, no, absolutely not." Risa shook her head. "It's bad enough going to class with you, Takeshi. And then you have to show up for this particular play, not only dragging that Mio Hio with you, but wearing an awful scarf, too-"

"It's not an awful scarf!" Takeshi shouted. "It's a neck brace!"

"Whatever. You're a random woman who gets a couple of lines. Ya happy?"

"No, not really-"

"Good." Risa looked at Mio Hio in the same way she would look at rotten toast. Mio grinned back, her eyes blinking out of sync.

"You're a hard one," she growled at her.

"That's what I said to a boulder yesterday," Mio responded cheerily.

Risa sighed. "Okay, I won't have you ruining my play. You're a tree too."

"Oooh, Mio has the special part!" Mio hugged/choked Takeshi.

"Uh, Risa?" Daisuke felt like he should say something, as his role was the only one with assured protection. "You shouldn't make more than half the cast trees… There's only twelve of us."

"So what? There's hardly any important roles in here," Risa said with a shrug. "Plus, you'll be glad to know that I've cut out all the singing."

"But Risa!" Mr. Stageguy pleaded. "The play won't be the same without all the singing! It's The Phantom Thief Dark of the Opera after all!"

"Quiet, Tree," Risa commanded. It was becoming obvious that everyone would now be addressed as the part they were; the tree people looked upset for the future confusion. Mr. Stageguy whimpered and sat down in the auditorium chairs.

"Wait a minute!" Takeshi realized. "If Donis is only back-up Dark… Daisuke is the real Dark! But why? He's not popular! And I know that's how you were giving everyone their parts."

"You'd better stop opposing me, Random Woman, or you can become join the forest," Risa threatened. "Daisuke has certain qualities that make him good for Dark."

Daisuke felt happy, even though she wasn't really talking about him.

"Tree. Scripts." Risa snapped her fingers and it took a second for Mr. Stageguy to figure out she was talking to him. He handed them to her nervously. "Okay, here you go, Dark, Back-Up Dark, Dark's GF and Random Woman. Trees, don't worry about lines. Okay, dismissed. We meet again tomorrow and you'd better know most of your lines by then! Dark stays."

Daisuke waited after, very happy. "What's up, Risa?"

"That's Director to you."

"Oh." Daisuke frowned; maybe he wasn't that special.

"You'll get Dark to memorize these, right?" She said. "I don't want to work him to hard… He's not too busy, is he?"

"Dark has so much time, but uh… What do you want to do for our date?" Daisuke asked.

"Date? Oh yeah, that." Risa looked at the ceiling in thought. "Uh, I like butter. And popsicles are good. I don't know! You think of something! I gotta go home. Bye."

Daisuke sat in the dark theatre.

'Look at Daisuke.'

'Uh, what?' Daisuke thought.

'Isn't it sad?'

'Dark-'

'He can't get a date without bribery!'

'DARK!'

'Poor Daisuke!'

Daisuke picks up his backpack and walks out.

'He wishes he could get a date by himself

Like Dark

Free and smooth

But he can't-'

"That's enough!" Daisuke yelled. A lot of people stared at him and he lost Coolness Points. He may very well be in the negatives now.

So Daisuke went home, slightly crushed, but slightly happy to have a date with someone he'd been trying to go out with since chapter 1.

Pepino bailarin, pepino bailarin, pepino bailarin, baila, baila, ya.

Hopefully I'll have the next chapter up soon, but it's so hard to write with this sombrero on my head.

- gets brick'd for so many Veggie Tales references -

My sister is sorry that she doesn't have her Not D.N.Angel pictures up yet. As soon as she finishes the pictures, I'll tell you, whether or not you actually care.