Hey! Guess what! Risa and Takeshi have taken time out of their busy schedules to rewrite a little song for you! (Takeshi by force) They hope you enjoy it! (But they're not very clever with words, I warn you).
Sung by the off-pitch, obnoxious, F-in-chorus voice of Takeshi Saehara.
'That's So Raven Opening' D.N.Angel Style
If you could gaze into the future
You might think this play would be a breeze
Casting Dark as himself (uh… 'mega squeal…')
And everyone else as a tree (or something along those lines)
She doesn't stop the situation
She just laughs rather evilly
That's so Risa (it's the future she can see)
That's so Risa (Pokemon packs at a dollar fifty three)
That's so Risa (I'm always afraid she'll blackmail me)
That's so Risa (in her sock drawer, there's a skeleton key)
Alright, now, it's the younger Harada
She says Dark is bigger than the Spanish Armada
She really likes him a-lotta
Hey, have you seen 'The Devil Wears Prada'?
That's so Risa (it's the future she can see)
That's so Risa (her boyfriends only last for a minute or three)
That's so Risa (Hey! What are you doing?! That's my microphone!)
That's so Risa (Oh my God! You're STOMPING on it!! I'm renting that!)
"You told everyone about the skeleton key!! If you don't make up for it somehow, this microphone will be your head!!"
Yep, that's her.
Oh, and as a bonus:
'Where Have All the Flowers Gone?' Naruto Style
Where has Itachi Uchiha gone?
Long, long time ago?
Where has Itachi Uchiha gone?Long time ago?
The answer my friends
Isn't in stores just yet
But you can always check the Internet
Okay, I'm done with the lame-tastic song rewrites. I hope you find it amusing rather than perhaps the dumbest thing ever (You try finding three words that rhyme with 'Harada'!). And the Itachi one was just because I was on a roll.
I digress. Please enjoy the chapter!
Daisuke raced off to after school play practice. He was far past the whole 'dead Wiz' thing (unlike his mom, who hadn't stopped crying, not even to wish him "Goodbye, my little buttered crumpet!" when he left for school). But now he did have the task of getting to the art museum when Wiz wasn't there to be his wings. Sure, there was always flapping, but after he had done that that one time, he hadn't been able to paint correctly for weeks, and all his pictures of Risa had looked more like well-dressed bananas.
As he entered the auditorium, he saw Risa stomping around angrily, twisting the script in her hands in aggravation. Risa sensed his presence and glanced up quickly, her currently pupiless eyes making him flinch.
"Uh, here I am," Daisuke announced nervously.
Risa roared, a sign that she was going to start ranting, and Daisuke took a seat in one of the auditorium chairs. "I've been so flippin' busy with the play!" she shouted, her fists clenched as she paced back in forth. "I thought it was going to be great, but Takeshi had to go and ruin it all! I would have seen it coming, but I've even been so busy planning stuff that I didn't get a chance to check the cards!"
Daisuke gasped. "And after the song too!"
"Yeah, I know!" Risa's teeth were as pointed as a vampire dinosaur's. "Takeshi and that Hio girl and all the trees are outside protesting! What's worse is that I can't blackmail any of them, because apparently Takeshi's dad is the chief of police and I don't have time to go on trial!"
"Then where are Donis and Ayaka?" Daisuke asked. He didn't think anything could hold Donis back from doing an extracurricular activity with his beloved, not even a hyena that looks like a hippo.
Risa stopped pacing to fold her arms. "Apparently, Ayaka got hit by a mail truck and Donis is in the hospital with her."
"Then I'm the only one left," Daisuke said. "So, does that mean our date is canceled?"
'It better not be! But then Riku will kill me… Hmm…' Dark began contemplating how hard it would be to go on a date with Risa if he was dead.
"Our date is so not canceled! Dark is going with me, right?" Risa had her hands behind her back just then and a sound like a chain saw revving was coming from there.
"Uh…" Daisuke blinked in shock. "Um, of c-course…"
'Wait! I can't go on a date with someone if I'm dead! Daisuke! You have to go on a date with Riku! Riku will kill me if you don't show up to see her!'
'No way!' Daisuke inner-yelled back. 'If you don't go on a date with Risa, then she'll kill me! And she'll probably be able to get away with it somehow!'
But Riku has twelve karate and seven kick-boxing trophies!
And Risa has pointed gardening supplies!
"DAISUKE! HERE! NOW!" Risa shouted from the exit door.
Daisuke ran up quickly. "Uh, where are we going?"
"We're looking for Satoshi," Risa said through gritted teeth. "He owes my sister a favor, and I'll use my charm/threats to get him in our play!"
"You… You don't mind threatening the most popular guy in school, then?" Daisuke questioned hesitantly.
Risa shrugged. "Whatever it takes to make this thing work!"
Satoshi was at his locker, getting his books. Daisuke couldn't help but notice a few major changes: not only was he humming 'Loituma's Polka', but he was doing it with a smile. (This is a rarely seen event that you can counter your friends with when they tell you've they've seen a solar eclipse.)
"Satoshi Hikari!" Risa shouted down the hallway at him.
"Ah, Risa!" Satoshi grinned. "That's Hiwatari. Some old phone books have that in there."
"Whatever!" Risa was in no mood for incorrect last names. "I need to talk to you about something muy importante!"
'What? He changed his last name?' Daisuke thought to Dark.
Dark scratched his chin for no reason other than to clarify that he was thinking. 'I wonder what he's got against 'Kingdom Hearts'.'
"Yo, Daisuke!" Risa shouted. "Satoshi's in!"
"I-I'm playing a woman?" Satoshi asked in confusion.
"Risa!" Daisuke whispered and stepped a few lockers away; Satoshi was too blissful to pay attention to their conversation. "Dark isn't going to perform for this thing!"
Risa took it surprisingly well. "Aww, poor Darky! Is he okay? Aww!"
"Uh, okay then," Daisuke said. She wondered what she would say if he had had to back out.
"Guess what, Hiwatari? You're actually Dark!" Risa shouted down at him.
"Oh, okay." Satoshi hugged himself. (If you're friends find something more impressive than Satoshi smiling, you can re-counter them with this one.)
"I'm the woman who loves Dark then?" Daisuke said sadly.
"Yeah, you're shorter and your voice is higher, so it works." Risa took out a megaphone and turned it up full blast. "OKAY! GET TO THE STAGE PRONTO!"
"Practicing was really fun!" Satoshi said happily to Krad as he walked home from the train station with a spring in his step.
'You're so weird,' Krad attempted to insult. 'Just because you found that rabbit again-'
"Howie is wonderful!" Satoshi shouted. "I've never been so happy! And Mr. Saehara says I can keep him and Takeshi doesn't recognize him as Daisuke's!"
'Yeah, but there's no way they could possibly think that lint ball you found in Takeshi's closet with the lipstick-drawn eyes could be that thing!' Krad yelled.
"Well, I can keep him for a while," Satoshi said with a shrug and skipped off. (If they find something even more amazing - re-re-counter).