DISCLAIMER: the first couple superpowers listed in this are nicked from season 12 of Red vs Blue, because that show is funnier than I will ever be. Anyway - continue onwards.

Ad Infinitum

(Rated T)

"Sometimes even to live is an act of courage."

- Seneca

What's the worst super power you can think of?

There are some pretty big stinkers that come to mind straight away, right? The ability to teleport two feet at a time, or only Hulk out when you're asleep. The power of talking to fish, but you can't breathe underwater. The remarkable gift of killing everything you touch, or enhanced fart power. Crappy stuff, but no, not the worst. The worst super power is never being able to die.

I know what you're thinking; that sounds amazing, right? Bullets always seem to miss, and you never get more than a papercut. Flu is something that happens to other people, let alone life-threatening diseases. An infinite amount of time, and you haven't aged a day. You could do anything, become anyone, without a worry in the world. And all that's true, I guess, but it's a double-edged sword. Except that metaphor's kinda crappy, because a sword could never hurt you anyway. Nothing could.

It's hard enough having to start again every few decades, lest people cotton on and figure out you're weird, and before you know it you're being burnt at the stake (which is a damned inconvenience, if you ask me). Then there's all the usual stuff people think of: watching those you love die, and no matter how hard you try you're unable to join them; the god complex phase where you think you're superior and go a bit psycho and before you know it, there's blood on your hands and of course it's not yours; that horrible knowledge that nobody will ever believe you're real. The feeling of not belonging to this rebirthing world. It crushes you after a while, all that stuff. Not that it changes anything.

Then there's other things. The terrible things you see – and people always remember the terrible things more than the good, and imagine hundreds, thousands, of years of war and plague and hatred, filling up your mind and forcing out any chance of happy thoughts. The pessimism you develop because of it, and the horror that comes from knowing it will only get worse, and of course you'll be alive to see it. And then it all bundles up; the lost families and the people you killed in war and in peace, the horror and the tragedy of it all until you go insane trying to escape it and it just gets worse, you just fall further into this horrible, miserable circle of misery and miserableness. You get all these experiences, all these mistakes, and not once do you learn from them. Immortals can never hope to become better people; all they can do is struggle not to get worse.

As you may have guessed by now, I'm speaking from experience.

I don't remember being born; I don't remember lots of things, and my first life was one of them. It must have been nice, I can only assume, for me to have forgotten it. The first memory I have is of the hunt, of feeling blood and sinew of… something between my teeth. I get hungry, but I don't starve; I must have been doing it for the thrill. The thrill I don't remember, only the sick feeling afterwards. People wore skins instead of clothes back then, I think. I can't be sure, though – it's all a bit hazy.

I've been a slave, a slave trader, a master and a monarch. I've sailed the seven seas, and climbed the highest mountains. I've fought with clubs, then spears, then bows, then guns; I've travelled by foot and by horse, by carriage and by car. Never by bicycle, though. Huh. Never realised that before. But I guess we're a pretty remarkable species, to have achieved all that, but we've also done some pretty nasty things. I dunno… maybe it's just in my personality to only see the bad in stuff.

I'm definitely human, by the way. Not a single anomaly in my DNA. Weird, huh? The best way I can describe it is that death is just something that happens to other people. Like, back during a time I can't remember, I got the opportunity to opt out. God, I wish I hadn't opted out. I wish I was dead and buried.

I bet you're wondering, why is this poor person telling me all this? And let me tell you, my friend, you are not going to like the answer.

When the agents of SHIELD came to me, I didn't realise at first they were angels in disguise. It wasn't until a couple of incidents that their leader explained to me that people like me, oddities, were out in the open now. I didn't have to change to stay hidden anymore, they said they would give me protection.

I told them I didn't want protection. I told them I wanted an ending.

And boy, did they try. Once they realised I wasn't really anything special, they did their damned best to kill me. Tied to concrete and dropped in the bottom of the ocean? The impact of the splash broke my bonds, and a fisherman picked me up. Gunshot wound? Still missed with a machine gun, at point blank range. Fire? Couldn't get me to light. Electrocution? Don't make me laugh.

It looked like I was never going to get my ending… and then they found out about HYDRA.

Which doesn't seem all that particular, until you get to the small print. HYDRA had a Winter Soldier, a man who they brainwashed. More specifically, they wiped his brain of all personal memories but left him as a functioning, blank, human being. He was like a new person. And then, after the fall of SHIELD, some lingering agents found the equipment they used to do it, and contacted me.

It's not an ending. But it's a new beginning, and that's the best I'm going to get.

And that new beginning is you.

They let me write a letter, since I had a better chance of explaining it than anyone else. Just… do better than I did, okay? Try to see the good in things, and enjoy the feeling of being normal for the first few years. And don't feel guilty about my identity being wiped away; it wasn't a very nice one. You're my clean slate, kid. Do some good with it. If there's any lingering threads of wisdom, maybe you could use them to help save the world for a change; if I were you, I'd see if there were any other immortals out there. It would be nice to have a friend. Good luck.

Oh, and ride a bicycle. At this point, it's pretty much the only thing left on my bucket list.

NEXT: "They said she was a demon, and they said you should never, ever talk to her."