Author's Note:

Hi guys, hope you're enjoying my fanfic – although I suppose if you've made it this far, you must at least think it's reasonably enjoyable.

Just a heads-up; as awesome and funny as some of these characters are, this fanfic really should have a 'hurt' tag with it, because some aspects of this story are going to get pretty heavy. But it's all part of the development process. Still, I believe that the friendships that develop are more important than the psychological aspect.

Sadie-girl has a lot of growing to do, so I hope you stay with her on her journey as she goes along; this is an OC fic, after all. However, if you are unsatisfied with the amount of Murasakibara content in here, I can assure you that he will make more of an appearance very soon. A whole lot more.

If you are enjoying it so far, please do me a solid and leave me a review. Tell me what you like about it, what you don't, and what could be better. Happy reading!

Note: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke, nor any of the characters.

Chapter Four

In some part of her mind, Sadie knew that she probably shouldn't have just taken off the way she had, leaving her friends in the dark. It was rude and overly dramatic. Bad-mannered. Irresponsible. So why didn't she care?

Perhaps because even more pressing was the desperate instinct to escape; not him, but the feelings invoked inside her now that she knew what he really thought of her. The crippling disappointment was almost too much to bear; not in him, but in herself for having developed hopes in the first place. It wasn't like he'd given her any indication that he was remotely interested in her. And when had she become so interested in him? How had these feelings even taken root without her being aware? Where in the hell had she been when her feelings had decided to make an appearance?

Either way, they were tearing her apart now. Damn, this hurts…

Barely aware of where she was heading, she frantically tried to get a hold of her spinning emotions. That was the worst part; that he could have such an effect on her, when he couldn't care less what she did aside from make good food. He hadn't even claimed her as a friend, for God's sake. Why?

~'Because you're ugly,'~ an inner voice replied softly.

Sadie paused, swallowing as she digested the thought. No, I'm not.

~'You are,'~ it insisted. ~'Even your peers believe it.'~

She shook her head and continued walking. Momoi told me so.

~'Ah, but Momoi only said that you were nice. She didn't say you weren't ugly.'~

Yes, she did! She said to stop having thoughts like that!

~'She only said that to stop you from leaving her! You think she can make friends easily? She's a nutcase! In a school as big as this, the only friend she could make happened to be the fattest, most insecure student! She just doesn't want to be lonely like you!'~

"Stop!" Sadie shouted, drawing many looks. She sniffled, wiping her nose, eyes seeking the nearest bathroom. Thankfully, it was empty. She stood in front of the mirror and studied her reflection carefully, trying to find a single thing she could be proud of in her own reflection. Surely there was one…!

Then the voice in her head began to laugh; softly at first, and then it became all she could hear. It was a mocking sound, grating in her head. The sound of her hand slapping the counter ricocheted against the tiled walls. "Leave me alone!"

~'Never,'~ it replied menacingly, and her tears abruptly stopped. 'You'll never be beautiful, and I will always be here.'~

Sadie stared at herself helplessly, wondering if she was going insane. Hearing voices in her head – talking to them. She must be going crazy. But the strangest thing was, under the weight of despair that seemed to be crushing her heart, she felt that she would much rather be insane than attempt to bear it.

Fifteen minutes after the bell announcing to the students it was time to return to class, Sadie was still holed up in the bathroom searching for the strength to come out. She studied her hands, which were currently twisting themselves together, breathing deeply for calm. No matter how she felt, she needed to emerge from this place calm and collected – at least on the outside. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't quite stop her breath from hitching or her hands from shaking.

Just breathe. Come on, calm down now… She repeated it in her head like a mantra until her chest eased up. Unfortunately, it looked like that was as far as she was going to get. Alright, just get to class now, okay? Okay…

She took her time walking, saying the soothing words over and over until she stood outside the classroom. When she entered, she mumbled some excuse about being sick and took her seat. Thankfully Momoi was in her class in that moment, so she wouldn't have to deal with any questions until later. I wonder if I can just avoid everyone for today…?

And so, when class finally ended, Sadie guiltily packed up her belongings and escaped into the hall. She could make out Momoi's small figure standing outside of her classroom, clearly waiting for her to emerge. A cold feeling, worse than guilt, spread through her chest.

I'm a horrible friend.

'You said it, sweetheart.'

She felt sick with herself. But with the desire to go home paramount, she ignored it and hastened away from the school. Maybe Momoi would stop by her house; she'd see her then and apologise. If not, she'd have to explain during school tomorrow.

Heart heavy, she set out for home, narrowly dodging Himuro at the front gate when she saw him waiting. Dammit, Momoi must have asked him to wait ahead... It wasn't until he turned away to chat with another female student council member that she saw her chance; hunching her shoulders, she passed through with a group of girls who all gave her strange looks. She let out a relieved breath when she was past, vaguely wondering how much trouble she was going to be in tomorrow.

"Sae-chan… You left me alone again… Didn't I say that if you ever did that again, I'd kill you?"

Sadie shivered. A lot of trouble, I think.

At home, Sadie realised that trying to sneak past her friends was one thing, but trying to sneak past her brother was a more different scenario. She'd made it to the third stair when his voice rang out from the kitchen.

"Oi, Sadie! That you?"

No? "Yes?"

Footsteps came down the hall, until he was standing before her with a custard tart clutched in one hand. Even though she was on the third step, he was still nearly taller than her. "Whatcha sneaking around for?"

She shrugged and hoisted her bag higher. "Don't know what you're talking about."

"Uhuh, sure." He rolled his eyes. "Momoi called earlier."

"Oh… And?"

"She said you were crying today." He crossed his arms, adopting his big-brother stance. "Who made you cry?"

She sighed. "Would you believe me if I said no one?"

"Nope."

Another weary sigh. "Why not?"

He grinned at her then; it was a big-brother smile. "'Cause I've never known you to cry for no reason. You might be a wuss, but even I know you're made of strong stuff."

"Yeah well, growing up with you, I kind of had to be."

He chuckled. "Not gonna argue with you there. Now, what happened today?"

Sadie suddenly glanced around, frowning. "Where's Dad?"

"Oh no, you don't." He wagged an annoying finger in her face. "You're not pulling any distractive manoeuvres on me."

She glared at him. "I'm not trying to distract you. I just know Dad doesn't work in the shop on Thursday afternoons – he sits down at the kitchen table and does the payslips. But he's not here, so where is he?"

It was Link's turn to be uncomfortable; he frowned and scratched at his jaw. Immediately Sadie became suspicious. "What happened?"

"What?" he burst out, holding up his hands – like that solved anything. "What makes you think anything is wrong?"

"You scratched at your jaw; your face is red. And you're putting your arms between us just like a wall, which suggests that you're hiding something."

He gave her a weird look. "How do you even know this stuff?"

Because Takarai Rihito is a goddess of manga. "Never mind that. Just tell me what's going on."

"Look…" He scratched the back of his neck uneasily. "Dad asked me not to tell."

Oh, so it's going to be like that… Adopting her crazy little sister expression, she arched her neck and lowered her brow, causing her eyes to darken and her features to sharpen. She could practically see him cower. "Lincoln Harper, you tell me what's going on right now or I swear upon our mother's grave, I'll live to see you regret it…!"

That did it. "Dammit, alright! Calm down, okay?" He threw his hands up in exasperation. "He didn't want me to tell, but since you're already suspicious I guess it doesn't matter. Dad's at the taxation office."

Immediately alarm bells started to ring. "Why?"

"I don't know! He said it wasn't important…"

A lie. That was definitely a lie. "Why are you lying to me?"

"Because…" He scrubbed the back of his neck and let out a weary breath. "Look Sadie, things haven't exactly been peachy around here lately. Dad's been having some trouble. Financial trouble. The tax office came calling, and it turns out he hasn't been paying them for some time…"

"How long is 'some time', exactly?"

Now he was definitely uncomfortable. "Uh… about five months?"

Sadie took a moment to digest this – not two nights ago, her father had assured her that everything was fine at home. Five months' worth of tax debt… "How much does he owe?"

Link shrugged once. "I dunno exactly. But that's the reason I came back here, see. He needed me to help out."

"So that's what you meant yesterday when you said this place is going to hell…" She shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry, Link. This is my fault."

He blinked – then glowered angrily at her. "Hold up. What part of this is your fault?"

"A few months ago, Dad stopped having me work so regularly in the shop because he thought I couldn't handle the work load. He even started doing most of the chores around here. I haven't been pulling my weight, and now you're going to pay for it."

His scowl only got worse while she spoke. When she was done, he drew a hand through his hair. "Look Sadie, I was talking horseshit yesterday. Home is home – it's as good as it's always been. And Dad doesn't delude himself; if he says you couldn't handle it, then I'm sure even the President of the United States would've buckled eventually." When she refused to look at him, he gripped her elbow and shook her. "Hey, you listening? Stop being an idiot. Dad's dealing with it. Everything will be fine, okay?"

Sadie nodded, despite the fact that she didn't believe a word of it. Evidently she didn't do a very convincing job, because Link gave her a concerned side-glance. As though a bright idea had suddenly hit him, he straightened a little and grinned at her. "Hey, I know what would cheer you right up."

"A million dollars?" she suggested wryly.

He chuckled again. "It's just as good, I promise. Look, come here."

Resigned, she allowed her brother to drag her down the hall and into the kitchen. As he rummaged through the fridge, she set her bag on the counter and heaved her butt onto it. Two seconds later he emerged, triumphant, and holding up two Twinkie packets. The cheery grin on his face – which was remarkably similar to his father's – suggested that he was extremely confident in his 'bright' idea. Unfortunately, it didn't prevent Sadie's stomach from shrivelling a little at the sight.

"What… Where did you get those?" she asked disbelievingly.

He shrugged. "I know a guy."

"What kind of guy? You can't exactly find those on any corner store around here."

He rolled his eyes. "Could you stop stressing for just one second? Geez. How long has it been since you had one of these?"

Sadie thought for a moment. "I think… Since I was fourteen?"

"That was four years ago! Seriously, just stop complaining and eat it."

Again with the stomach shrivelling. Swallowing, Sadie hesitantly began, "Uh, you know, I'm not really hungry. You go ahead and eat it…"

He gave her an incredulous look. "Are you kidding? You used to love these! What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing, it's just…" Once again, she found herself backed into a corner.

Rolling his eyes, he ripped open the packet and forced the food into her hand. "Why don't you stop being uptight and just eat the Twinkie? I promise you're not gonna die."

Sadie considered it for a moment, trying to ignore the way her tongue nearly immediately became drenched with saliva. One glance at her brother's raised eyebrow and she knew that there was only one way to avoid unnecessary suspicion. Man, it's been so long since I've had one of these… The food nearly melted in her mouth when she took the first bite.

Derisive laughter filled her mind. ~'Please, you'd find any excuse to eat that thing… You're pathetic…'~

Immediately she went still, the food turning to ash in her mouth. No; if I don't do this, he'll wonder why…

~'Keep telling yourself that, beautiful.'~ More laughter. ~'I knew you couldn't keep this up.'~

No, I… Sadie's posture went rigid. I can do this.

~'You think so? Really?'~

She glanced up at Link, who was digging into his share with outright relish. Yes.

~'Try telling it to your thighs. Or better yet, your flabby arms.'~ The voice was ripe with scorn. ~'You can't do anything right, can you?'~

That's not true! I'll fix this! In her hands, she was shocked to realise that the Twinkie was nearly finished. She hadn't enjoyed a single part of it.

~'You really want to fix this?'~

She didn't hesitate. Yes!

When it spoke next, the voice was quiet as a whisper. ~'Then you know what to do…'~

Sadie was sitting at her desk, going through her notes just like any other morning, when she heard her name called. She glanced up in time to see her homeroom teacher waving her over. Frowning, she heaved herself up and approached her cautiously.

"Is everything alright, Tsujimura-sensei?" she asked, ensuring her tone was polite. It hitched a little at the end; she'd come to school with a sore throat that must have developed overnight.

Smiling pleasantly, Sensei shuffled the papers she was holding and patted the seat next to her. "Actually, I'm afraid not, Harper-san. I need to speak with you about your school performance."

Cold dread filled her. On top of everything, Sadie knew she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear. Brace yourself. "Have I been falling behind, Tsujimura-sensei?"

She shook her head. "No, that's not the issue here. It's more the quality of your work." Sifting through her desk, she pulled out a document and presented it to Sadie. "Look here. On our last pop quiz, you only barely passed overall. And that involved a fair bit of reasoning on my part. Harper-san," she said gently, patting her hand, "I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad. I just want you to see where you're going wrong so that we may organise some alternative measures, and help you get back on track. Normally, your grades are really quite good."

Sadie was still studying the paper, astonished at the amount of red writing and low marks present. Did I really write all this?

"Harper-san? Does that sound fine?"

Sadie blinked herself back into reality. "Oh… Yes, that's fine. Great. I'll, uh… study harder…"

Sensei was gazing at her with concern. "It's not about studying hard, Harper-san. It's about concentrating on the content that is relevant to the subject. It's no use if you just study everything and expect to see good results. Here, take this and read my notes; realise where you went wrong, and learn from it. If you feel you need further assistance, speak to me and we can arrange tutoring sessions. Okay, Harper-san?" Sadie glanced up, meeting her teacher's kind eyes. "I want you to succeed."

"Yeah," Sadie replied, the words barely a whisper. Her throat was still paining her. "Me too."

The rest of the morning passed in a less-than-pleasant blur, and before she knew it lunch came around and Momoi bounded into the room like clockwork. She was jolly as ever and accompanied by Himuro, who looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Sae-chan!" To Sadie's absolute surprise, Momoi threw her arms around her neck and grasped it tightly. "You disappeared on me yesterday!"

She smiled at her friend's antics and returned the hug. "Sorry about that, Momoi-chan. I just wasn't feeling well, you know…" She broke off when she felt the arms around her neck begin to tighten. "Uh, Momoi you can let go now."

Her voice was sweet as ever when she said, "Sae-chan, you left me alone… again… I thought I told you what would happen if you did that again?"

Beside them, Himuro sighed once and grasped the back of Momoi's uniform, yanking her back down into her seat. "Give the girl a break, Momoi-san."

Momoi huffed while Sadie breathing returned to normal. "Whatever, I'll let it go this one time. You ever run off like that again without telling me Sae-chan, and I'll seriously kill you, okay?" Then as if nothing had happened, she returned to her normal self quick as a switch. "So have you got lunch?"

Sadie adopted an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Momoi-chan. I was going to be late, so I couldn't."

There was a moment of silence. Then – "I take it back. I'm gonna kill her now."

"Momoi, seriously," Himuro admonished. "You need to chill."

She glowered at him. "And you need a friend. Don't take your loneliness out on me, Himuro-san."

Himuro's face turned pink at that. Sadie glanced at them both questioningly. "What are you talking about?"

"Himuro-san and Mura-kun are in a fight, dontcha know?" she supplied chirpily.

"We're not in a fight," he said defensively, crossing his arms.

Sadie sent him a questioning glance, and he let out a sigh. "Yesterday after you took off, we talked to him and found out what he said. To those girls. About you."

"Oh…" She looked away uncomfortably. "Sorry about that, by the way."

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Momoi exclaimed, slapping the table angrily. "He's the bastard who doesn't have any feelings! I nearly killed him for that…"

Sadie shook her head and placed her hand over her friends'. "No Momoi, you shouldn't have!"

Beside her, Himuro snorted. "It's a bit late for that."

"What do you mean?" She glanced at Momoi, who was whistling softly and looking anywhere but at Sadie.

"I mean Little-Ripper-Junior over here nearly put Yosen's Ace out of commission yesterday. Permanently."

Oh, no… "Momoi, is that true?"

The girl shrugged, refusing to meet her eyes. "Yeah, what about it?"

"We talked about this! You can't draw too much attention to yourself!"

Momoi rolled her eyes. "Please, barely anyone noticed."

"It took three people to pull her off him," Himuro contradicted smartly. She glared at him.

Sadie threw her hands up. "Great. That's just… great. Did you get in trouble?"

"It's not a matter of if," he said with a small frown, "But how much."

"Can it, Himuro-san." There was clear warning in Momoi's voice. "Just 'cause you cut ties with Mura-kun yesterday…"

Sadie's eyebrows rose. "Cut ties? What's she talking about, Himuro-san?"

"I didn't 'cut ties' with him," Himuro muttered defensively. He refused to meet her eyes as he continued. "I just told him that what he said wasn't right, and that until he apologised I wasn't going to hang out him."

She frowned at that. "That's not like you, Himuro-san. You shouldn't have said such a thing. You two are friends; I don't want to come in between the two of you –"

"No," he interrupted firmly. "It's not right. Atsushi and I have been good friends for a while, mostly due to our mutual passion for basketball. But you have been part of that for a while now as well, Sadie-san. And as much as I respect and admire Atsushi, I cannot condone his recent behaviour. I'm sorry he's caused you so much trouble."

Feeling oddly touched by Himuro's admission, Sadie was temporarily lost for words. "Himuro-san… Thank you. There's no need for you to apologise for him."

"Yeah, why don't you just take a few steps back there, my friend," Momoi intercepted, crossing her arms and glaring at him. "That's my best friend you're talking to. Not yours."

Himuro's expression darkened. "If your little psycho-attack on my friend yesterday didn't convince me of that, then I'm sure your constant reliance on her presence would."

"Don't get all high-and-mighty with me, Muro-chin," she sneered, "Else I'll have to get your old punching bag Mura-kun in here since you're obviously missing him so much –"

"Okay, that's enough arguing!" Sadie exclaimed, but immediately regretted it. Her throat suddenly felt like it had a mini chainsaw attached. Breathing deep, she continued softly, "Let's just focus on the important thing. Momoi, how much trouble are we talking here?"

When only silence met her answer, she turned to Himuro and raised a brow. "Two week's detention, and a suspension warning."

Sadie groaned in response, rubbing her already aching head before turning to Momoi. "You really shouldn't have done that…"

"What was I supposed to do?" she demanded heatedly. "The things he said! And he admitted it so shamelessly. No one gets away with saying those kinds of things to my bestie – I don't care how big their appetite is!"

Sadie frowned in confusion. "I don't see what that has to do with anything…"

"Likewise… Still," Himuro conceded, "Momoi has a point."

"Damn right I do. Now can we please end this conversation? It's grating on my nerves," she muttered. "Sae-chan, you said you didn't pack any lunch right? You can share mine today."

"Oh… Actually, I did."

Momoi blinked. "Huh?"

Sadie dug around in her pack, grinned and pulled out a small lunchbox. "Just enough for me –"

She broke off suddenly, frowning at the strange feeling creeping up her chest. It was hot, a little searing… It felt like acid was working its way up her chest… She swallowed, trying to dispel the sensation. Instead, the acid flooded her mouth. Sadie coughed, clapping a hand over her mouth to prevent it from escaping. What is this…?

~'It's your punishment,'~ the voice replied.