Chapter Five

What? What are you talking about?

That terrible laughter started up again as more acid entered her throat. Sadie frantically tried to swallow it back down, choking on the taste. ~'You broke the promise you made to yourself. To me. This is what happens when you go back on your word…'~

She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on swallowing. No… This isn't right… This is because of –

~'You wanted to be beautiful, right? No matter what? Well, Sadie-girl, this is the cost. Suck it up, princess.'~ It chuckled again. ~'Literally.'~

"Sae-chan?" Around her, Momoi and Himuro were sitting and gazing at her with concern. Momoi gripped the hand that was wrapped around her mouth like a seal. "What is it? Are you okay?"

When she just shook her head in response, Momoi tugged on her wrist; like a spring, she shot out of her chair and raced for the door, ignoring the shouts of 'Sae-chan!' and 'Wait!' that rang out from behind her. She had to get to a bathroom – she didn't know how much longer she could keep it in.

Not ten seconds later Sadie was bent over a toilet, coughing and retching. What came out was yellow and definitely acidic. Stomach acid? Ugh… So gross… Eventually, the liquid left her mouth; using the tissue paper available, she wiped at her lips and focused on breathing. It was then that she processed the fact that she was in a public space. On all fours she checked the cubicles around her, noting with relief that they were empty. Only one set of familiar shoes were present…

Momoi was waiting for her when she stepped out of the cubicle, and when Sadie sent her a weary smile it was met with stoic countenance. She ignored the feeling of dread that arose as she rinsed her mouth and throat, breathing out tiredly when she was done. "Sorry Momoi, I don't know what got into me…"

"You don't?"

Sadie raised her bow at her friend's reflection. "No, I don't… That's never happened to me before."

Momoi shrugged. "It probably hasn't. But it had to happen eventually, right? What with the stress you're putting your body under."

Alarm bells went off; without meeting her eyes, she said, "I don't know what you're talking about –"

"Let's cut the bullshit right now. I know you're making yourself throw up after meals. I know you're starving yourself. I know –"

"No!" Sadie shouted, swinging around to face her friend. "You don't know. You don't know what you're saying! You don't know anything!"

Momoi crossed her arms. "Please, save me the 'No-It-Wasn't-Me' number. I know exactly what I'm saying." When Sadie just shook her head mutely, she narrowed her eyes. "I can see it, Sae-chan. Show me your hands."

Sadie blinked in confusion. "Why?"

Instead of answering, Momoi lunged forward and seized her right wrist; ignoring her struggles, she held Sadie's knuckles up to the light. "That's why."

At first Sadie thought her friend had officially lost it. It wasn't until she blinked hard that she saw the small marks on the upper ridges of her hand. She swallowed hard, realising that she hadn't been able to hide a single thing from her friend. Momoi was completely aware of what she'd been doing – if not from the very beginning, then close to.

Momoi's next words confirmed Sadie's suspicion. "I've let this go on for long enough, Sae-chan. At first I thought it was just a 'finding-myself' thing, but I didn't think you'd take it this far. You have to stop this now, okay?" Momoi lowered their hands slowly, looking up at Sadie with light brown eyes that held a certain kind of urgency. Like if she didn't listen to her friend's warning, something bad would be sure to happen…

"I… I don't know… what you're talking about."

Momoi threw her hands in the air. "What the hell, Sae-chan? Why don't you just admit it? You're Bu–"

"Shut up!" she screamed in English, making a dash for the door. When Momoi stepped in her way she didn't slow, barging right past her friend and out the door; dimly she could hear the sound of Momoi's body smacking against the tiles. Get me out just get me out get me –

Unfortunately, Momoi wasn't the only obstacle. She'd just charged out of the bathroom when she was met by Himuro, who frowned in concern and started towards her with long, ground-eating strides. Holding up a hand as if to ward him off, she stumbled backwards, then turned fully and ran down the hall. He called out to her once, but she didn't stop.

After having collected her bag from the classroom, Sadie made for the school entrance in the most complicated way she knew; twice she nearly ran straight into Momoi, who was running around the school like a madwoman, a bloodthirsty look in her eyes. Fortunately, she managed to avoid both Momoi and Himuro on the ground floor.

Unfortunately, she ran into another unforeseen problem.

"Ah, Sae-chin!" a voice rang from her right.

She stopped. Turned slowly. Standing only a few strides away was Murasakibara, and he looked extremely happy to see her. In two steps he closed the distance between them. "I'm glad to see you."

Sadie didn't know what to do with herself; she glanced around for help only to realise with sinking clarity that she was utterly alone. "H-hey Mura-kun, what are you up to?"

"Nothing!" he groaned loudly, causing her to jump. "I've just been wandering around eating potato chips, but I ran out just before so now I'm really bored."

She frowned at that. "Why have you been wandering around, Mura-kun?"

Instantly his expression became sour. "After Momoi jumped me yesterday, she told me not to ever show my face in your classroom again or she'd bite my head off completely."

"Completely?" He nodded, pulling his shirt to the side and exposing a vivid bite mark on his shoulder. "Dear Lord…"

He nodded again. "So now I'm not allowed to come hang out with you anymore… Even Muro-chin's mad at me…"

Sadie quickly cast about for a way to make him feel better – and to end the conversation quickly. "Look, how about I have a talk to them? Tell them to think on it some more, I'm sure they'll come around…" Maybe not so much for Momoi. "Alright? Don't feel so bad."

"I feel bad 'cause I'm hungry," he sulked. His purple eyes settled on hers, all the hunger he felt reflected in them, causing her to squirm. "Say, Sae-chin, you got any food in your bag?"

"Uh…" Lying on my homeroom desk. "Sorry, I don't Mura-kun."

His eyes narrowed on her suspiciously. "Since when?"

"Pardon me?"

"Since when don't you carry food around?" he asked impatiently.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You always have good food on you," he griped. "That's why I hang out with you at lunch. Is this because you're mad about what I said yesterday?" A single purple brow lifted disdainfully. "Geez, girls are so touchy…"

That was it.

Smiling pleasantly, Sadie dug around in her bag and withdrew three hundred yen. "I'm really sorry, Mura-kun. Here, tell you what…" She drew closer to him and pointed at the vending machine on the opposite wall. "Take these three hundred yen as an apology. Go over there, buy yourself some chips –" she gripped the front of his jersey and yanked him down to her level, looking him dead in the eye with her crazy-little-sister expression "– and go choke on them."

Before he could so much as blink she released the material with a shove, and continued on her furious escape. This time there was no sign of Momoi or Himuro.

It wasn't until she arrived home to an empty house that she released the pent-up tension she'd been holding since lunch. Instead of heading straight up to her room, she paused on the bottom step at the sight of multiple envelopes on the dining room table. There was no sign of her father. She frowned and crept over to the table, quickly browsing their contents. Nearly all of them were from the taxation office.

Sadie picked up one of the opened documents and scanned it. From what she could gather, it was a response from the taxation office to an appeal lodged by her father to develop a tax payment plan. She noted with relief that they were open with the arrangement and went to put down the letter.

Until she saw the date the letter had been written. Five months ago…

Again she sifted through the papers, this time looking for a more recent entry; she found one on the top and quickly investigated.

It was a warning to maintain the arranged payment plan –

"Sadie-girl, what are you doing home so early?"

Sadie jumped and spun to face her father, realising too late that she still had the letter clutched in her hand. She frantically thought of an excuse to his question. "Uh… We were just working on a group project in class and unfortunately none of my peers were at school. They said I could go home if I liked, so…"

"Well, I sent Link over to –" He halted, distracted by what she was holding. "What are you doing with that, Sadie?"

No use beating around the bush, she reasoned to herself. Taking a deep breath, she began, "Dad, why are you on a payment plan with the taxation office?"

At first he looked like he was about to deny her statement, but as he took in her resolute expression he gave in with a heavy sigh. "Sadie-girl, you really don't need to know. I can handle this, alright?" When she just stared at him, he chuckled softly. "Geez, you look so much like your mother when you do that… Alright, I'll tell you…"

And he told her.

When he was finished, she sat back in the sofa and looked around the room – as though for a solution to their predicament. Because that's what it was. "Link knew about all this?" He nodded. "And you didn't think that you should mention this to me?"

"You've got enough on your plate."

~'You can say that again.'~

Sadie shook her head to clear it. "Dad… You should've told me. I want to help."

"And I don't need it," he rebutted. "Look Sadie, if it ever gets so bad that I have to call on you to help, then you can worry, alright?"

Wince. That smarts…

"But until then, just keep your nose where I tell you to keep it – in your own bowl." He smiled that cheery smile. "I think if you actually bother looking, you'll find it's pretty full."

~'Practically overflowing.'~

Shut up, Sadie told the voice. "Can you at least let me work my normal shifts again?"

"Nope. Now let it go. I don't want to talk any more on the matter, alright?" The firm set to his jaw settled it. She slumped and nodded.

"I don't think Link's going to be very impressed with you," he joked lightly. "I'm going to get a very furious call when he realises he waited around the school for nothing."

"What do you mean? Why is Link going to my high school?"

He scratched his chin. "I was actually going to get you both to run an errand for me…"

Sadie perked up at that, eager for an opportunity to help. "Why don't I go and do it for you now, since I have the afternoon off? I'll use this to make it up to Link, otherwise he'll hold this against me later…"

Her father considered her for a moment, and then that grin appeared again. "That eager, huh? All right," he conceded. "I need you to pick up a new recipe from a fellow chef and friend a few blocks down. He owes me a favour, you see; I made sure he paid me back in kind."

"I don't doubt it," she muttered.

"It's a pretty big job, Sadie-girl," he warned. "That's why I wanted both you and Link to go together. Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself?"

She scoffed in response. "Dad, have you ever known me to let you down? This'll be a piece of cake…"

I just had to say it.

Twenty-five minutes later found Sadie standing in the back room of a noodle shop, beginning to realise just how much this wasn't going to be a piece of cake. Four crates were stacked on top of each other, some containing an assortment of strange-looking vegetables and others packed high with herbs and spices. She gulped, wondering how in the world she was going to get all this home in one piece.

Once again, the shop owner asked, "Are you sure you'll be alright with this, little chef?"

Sadie snapped back to reality. "Oh… Yes, I'm pretty strong for a girl; I'm sure I'll be fine… It's just… I thought by recipe he meant a slip of paper or something?"

The man gave her a weird look. "What's that gonna do?"

"Uh… You know, tell you what to do?"

The man laughed at that, slapping his thigh in mirth. "Ah, you have much to learn, little chef."

Sadie frowned at him. "Why do you call me that?"

"What?"

"Little chef," she repeated slowly.

He grinned at her, and in his eyes she saw something remarkably close to respect. "Because you're Itamae-san's daughter, little chef."

Sadie was shocked at the high praise. He must really respect my Dad…

"Well, I sure as hell don't!" she exclaimed angrily as she nearly tripped over the gutter, earning herself a few strange looks from passers-by. "Making me walk all this way with this much stuff… Seriously…"

When she finally reached the front door of her house, she plonked the boxes down and huffed, wondering where the strength in her arms had gone. Inside she could hear raised voices; her father, Link and her mother were in the kitchen. Probably joking about something… Screw it, they can come and help me.

Just as she barged through the door, she picked up the tail end of their loud conversation.

"… are you completely sure about this, Link? I mean, it's Sadie-chan; she wouldn't do something so…"

"I'm sure," he responded firmly. "She said to check her hands for it. There's no mistake."

Just then, her father turned and saw her frozen form in the doorway. "Sadie-girl, you're back… Could you come in here for a minute?"

Sadie didn't move. What had they been talking about…?

~'I don't think you want to do that.'~

Kimiko turned and smiled, but something odd at the edges betrayed her. "Sadie-chan? Are you coming in?"

Sadie shook her head. I definitely don't want to go in there.

An impatient grunt came from Link, and without hesitation he started for her, long legs eating up the distance. She stood rooted to the spot; somehow she couldn't seem to form a single coherent thought, let alone move. Strong fingers gripped her forearm and dragged her fully into the house. The boxes were left outside, forgotten.

"What's this shit I'm hearing about you starving yourself? Huh?"

"I… Um, I…"

"You've been skipping meals? The low-carb diet wasn't enough for you?"

Her father stepped forward. "Stop it, Link. Let her explain." He stared hard at Link until he released her arm, then smiled at Sadie. "Alright… Sadie-girl, explain this misunderstanding to me. Properly."

"I… I…" She gulped and closed her mouth.

His calm expression slowly morphed into confusion the longer the silence continued. Feeling helpless under his gaze, Sadie turned to Link with a pleading expression, silently begging him to help her. Please, Link…!

Face cold, his voice was just as icy as he said, "That's not all."

"What do you mean?" her father asked before she could interrupt.

Her brother refused to meet her eyes as he blew her life apart. "She's Bulimic."

"What?!" her mother sputtered, eyes horrified as they darted between the siblings.

"It's true."

Her father shook his head. "No, that's not right. It can't be."

Tears sprung to her eyes.

"Check her hands," Link supplied, turning away with crossed arms. He still refused to look at her.

He hesitated, as though he didn't want to see the evidence. When he didn't budge, Kimiko stalked over and grabbed Sadie's right wrist, who stood like a statue as the events rolled out. She held Sadie's hand up to the light, gasping when she caught sight of the ridges and scars; as though she'd woken from a trance, Sadie snatched her wrist back and cradled it to her chest.

It's none of their business.

"Sadie-chan…" She trailed off and covered her mouth.

Suddenly, her father spoke. "How long has this been going on for?" He glanced at Link for an explanation, who just shrugged.

"I don't know. A couple months, by the looks of those scars."

"My God," he breathed, rubbing away a growing headache. "I can't believe… Of all people…" He glanced up and met her eyes, and Sadie flinched at the fierceness that was there. "Did someone make you feel like you had to do this to yourself?" She shook her head. "Don't lie to me!" Another flinch. "Someone did something to you, didn't they?"

The voice in her head snickered. ~'Guilty…'~

"Didn't they?!"

"No," she whispered.

"Don't lie to me, Sadie! Tell the truth!"

"Dad," Link suddenly intervened. "Cool it a little, the neighbours will hear."

Her father shook his head at the unfamiliar girl in front of him. "My daughter… is doing this… to herself… Why, Sadie-girl?"

Aaaaaand she was done.

Sadie promptly burst into tears, covering her face with her hands as her body convulsed with sobs. She made a right mess of herself there in the living room with both her parents and brother staring dumbfounded. While she attempted to get control of her emotions, she thought that nothing in the world could be more humiliating than this moment.

She would rather have stood naked in front of a crowd than expose her true feelings this way.

"Sadie, I…"

When her father started for her, she held up a hand and backed away. "Stop. P-please…"

"Talk to me," he pleaded wildly. His dark eyes were sad and helpless.

"It's none of your b-business! This h-has… nothing to d-do with you!"

"You're my daughter! Of course it has to do with me!" He hissed out a frustrated breath. "What if your mother were here? Would it have something to do with her?"

Link's voice rang out loud and clear. "Dad! That's enough!" Her father turned his furious eyes on Link; he glanced meaningfully at Kimiko, who was staring awkwardly at the floor. She's my mother, too, Sadie realised. This must be hard for her.

Evidently her father was thinking along the same lines, because he exhaled raggedly and visibly sought calm. Finally, he met Sadie's eyes with firm resolution. "I won't let this go on. No child of mine will find themselves facing their demons alone." He straightened and announced, "From now on, you're going to stay under this roof twenty-four-seven, where I can keep an eye on you. Do you understand, Sadie? That means I'm going to be pulling you out of high school, effective immediately."

Author's note:

I know what you're thinking.

"But how will Sae-chan and Mura-kun interact with each other if she doesn't attend high school?!"

You will find out… in the next chapter ;)

Thanks to my readers for sticking with me – keep an eye out for the next chapter, which will be very soon!