Journal Entry 7- Breathing a Sigh of Sweet Relief
I haven't written in awhile. Life has been complete craziness since the birth of our son. Marty is healing quickly. I am so thankful that she's doing better. It will be awhile before her c-section incision is completely healed, but she's eager to be back on her feet. It won't be long until she's feeling entirely better. She doesn't enjoy my hovering over her. I am constantly worried about her safety.
The first time we saw our son was complete bliss mixed with so much sorrow. He's so tiny! His little head is smaller than the palm of my hand. His thin little legs are the same length as my longest finger. Marty was able to place her wedding ring upon his frail little arm. His eyes though- they are so blue. He has his mommy's eyes. And something keeps telling me that he's going to make it. The whole family is praying for him. My sister and my nieces spent hours in the chapel, praying for his very life and that he gets to come home with me and Marty and sleep in the little crib and bassinet and enjoy all those cute little baby clothes and toys that we bought for him.
At first the doctors weren't optimistic - not at all. Marty's doctor, Dr. Larry Woleck broke the news to us. He said that Tyler may not make it through the night. He's so fragile and sadly, he's unable to breathe on his own. Dr. Larry told us all the things that could go wrong with our son, but with his every word, I refused to believe that our baby could die. I just kept telling myself that Tyler was a fighter like his parents and he'd survive. He would survive because he HAD to. Marty and I honestly couldn't endure another loss. We'd already lost our first two babies. Our hearts and souls were so fragile, just like baby Tyler. I wanted our son to live and go home with us. I made myself believe it would happen.
We almost lost our son- we came so close, but Tyler fought hard and every day, he got a little bit stronger. He's getting better now and he's going to be released from the hospital soon. We couldn't be more ecstatic, but also very scared. We are scared that we'll do something wrong and somehow we'll lose our son. He seems so tiny and fragile, but he's fought through so much. So far he's a warrior. I am so proud of my baby boy.
As we get ready to take our son home with us, we are breathing a sigh of relief. I can tell already; he's going to look a lot like his mommy with big blue eyes and curly blond hair. He hardly has any hair... but what he does have is light in color and tries to curl at the ends. He's adorable! I know we are blessed to have him and I can't wait to bring him home with us where he belongs...