"Here to help me with the mandrakes?" Neville asked hopefully as Hermione perched on a table in the greenhouse.
"You have mandrakes?" she asked, looking around until her eyes fell on a couple pots in the corner.
"I won't if they don't stop eating," he groaned with a smile. "They've reached the stage where I add food to the pot five times a day and it still doesn't seem to be enough."
"You're on your own," she chuckled. "I deal with enough teenage drama on a daily basis, I don't need any from the plants. Just the other day Mr. Magnus and Miss Bradson broke up and made up three times in my class alone? I can't handle hormones from something whose shriek could be lethal and not just annoying."
"Fair enough," he nodded. "What's up?"
"Oh, I was just going to ask if I could have that empty space in greenhouse three next year? I was thinking I might teach a few Muggle growing techniques to my second years."
"Of course," he nodded. "I'll put up a divider, though, so the tentacula doesn't get into whatever you're going to grow."
"Brilliant," she smiled. "Now that business is out of the way, how is Hannah?"
"She's good," he blushed and looked down.
"Oh, come off it, you can't leave it at that," she laughed.
"I... I think I might ask her this summer."
"The big question?" she raised an eyebrow.
He nodded once, looking pale.
"You have been seeing each other for three years!" she laughed. "There's no need to be nervous."
"That's easy for you to say, with your logical brain, but it's not easy to be dating a Hogwarts professor, it's probably much harder to be married to one."
"I'll take your word for it," she shrugged.
"Well, maybe it's not difficult for you," he muttered.
"And what is that supposed to mean?"
"Hermione, those two men you have around hate each other. They get along as well as a Weasley and a Malfoy. You may have fooled everyone else with that line about them being lovers, but if they are I'll drink a vat of stinksap."
"Perhaps the situation is a little more complicated than that," she replied casually.
"Do you forget that I also work with teenagers? I can see when two kids either hate or fancy each other, I see the looks they give each other, and they hate each other. The looks you give them, on the other hand..."
"I do not give that look to Hux!" she protested.
Neville's eyebrow raised.
"Or Ren!" she added.
"You know you can tell me, Hermione. I'm not going to tell anyone. We're forty years younger than the rest of the staff, it's not like I'm going to go gossip with Flitwick."
She gave him a look. "Alright, it is more complicated, but not in the way you think. Hux and Ren aren't lovers, they're exiles."
He looked at her expectantly before prompting, "Go on."
"They came from a different galaxy. That arch apparently isn't just a passageway to the land of the dead, living people can go through and be taken from place to place."
"And they were sent through?"
"They did some bad things in their galaxy."
"Bad things?"
"War crimes. I'm leaving it at that. Harry and Severus know the truth, and Minerva and Kingsley know enough, but we're keeping it from everyone else as long as they don't start returning to their past behavior."
"It must have been bad to get them kicked out of a galaxy," he mused.
"You cannot even imagine," she sighed. "The things that are going on where they came from... I've never been more grateful to be a resident of this particular planet."
"But you really are helping Ren?"
"Yes. He's got magic, or he can use the Force, or whatever they call it there. It's fascinating, really, since there is a lot of crossover with our magic but there are some differences. I've been experimenting with wand magic and he can do it, but he hates my wand. I don't doubt my wand would probably be hostile for him, but I'm not ready to trust him with one of his own. I'm helping Hux, too, though I'm trying to keep it low-key, since it would look odd for me to be teaching Muggle basics to a thirty-some year old Muggle."
"That would raise an eyebrow or two," he smiled, but it faltered quickly. "So, teaching them is all it is?"
"Yes," she said firmly. "I don't know what you think you're seeing, but I'm not a bloody teenager. There is nothing between Hux or Ren and I."
"Is it because of what they've done?" he asked.
She glared at him for a moment, then muttered, "That's a big part of it."
"Whatever it was bothers you," he guessed.
"Not as much as it did at first," she admitted. "I'll admit it... really bothered me at first. To the point where I wasn't really rational. Once I found out a little more it softened the blow, but it's still a lot to deal with."
"Are you ever going to tell me what they did?"
"No," she shook her head. "As long as they are attempting to build a better life here I'm not going to tell anyone who doesn't already know. The longer I think about their punishment the more I think they paid a very big price. I can't imagine what it would be like to be exiled out of the country, let alone a whole bloody galaxy, dumped on some isolated planet that must feel downright primitive in some ways."
"Can I ask them about it sometime? Space ships and all that. How often do you get the chance to talk to someone who lived that?"
"If you ever catch Ren on a good day you should ask him to show you his saber."
"That... that doesn't sound right," he muttered.
"His light saber," she laughed. "This weapon he brought with him. I set him up with a place to use it in the forest. I think it helps him to just go in there and fight the mannequins."
"I've seen him stalking into the woods. I think I'd rather pick another fight with Voldemort. Are you sure he has good days?"
"He is a bit moody, but I hung around Harry for years, didn't I?" she smiled.
"And then there was you and Snape..."
"I will never live that down, will I?" she sighed.
"You did date Snape," he pointed out.
"I did not date Severus!" she shot back.
"Sorry, you wanted to date Snape. And the two of you slept together on a fairly regular basis for a couple years."
"That I won't deny," she shrugged. "Nor will I apologize for it."
"I'm not expecting you to," he replied. "You're a grown woman, you don't need to justify your sex life to me. Meaning if you were sleeping with some moody man from outer space or a certain stuffy ginger Muggle..."
"I see where this is going," she rolled her eyes and slid from the table. "I wish you luck with the mandrakes, Neville."
"And I wish you luck with the space boyfriends."
"I miss the days you were terrified of me."
"Still am," he smiled. "But I know how far I can push you now. See you at dinner?"
"Not tonight," she shook her head. "I'm taking Hux to the London Library. I promised I would a week ago, but things have come up with Ren, and I really do want to take him."
"If you're trying to convince me you're not seeing a bloke maybe you shouldn't mention that you are taking him to a library, because that's very suspicious of you..." he laughed.
"Good evening, Neville!" she called over her shoulder as she walked out of the greenhouse.
XXXXXXX
Ren pushed the remaining steak and kidney pie around his plate with a scowl, which only deepened as he realized that there was no discernible reason why he should be in a foul mood. He had spent a couple hours with Hermione in the forest earlier and he would consider them productive as he had managed to coerce her uncooperative wand to perform most of the magic he asked of it. It should bode well for when (if) Hermione trusted him with a wand of his own, and yet when she ran off, late for a class he had spent another quarter hour dismembering as many of the mannequins as possible, finding satisfaction that they seemed to be having difficulty in fully repairing themselves. While he and Hux still shared quarters and ate most meals together Hux seemed to have given up on any hopes of conversation, and they ate in blissful silence. No, as far as Ren was concerned there was no reason for his sudden foul mood.
He refused to acknowledge that the feeling flared when he looked at the two empty plates at the table, reminding him that his roommates were still not back from their outing together.
Giving up on the food he swung his hand angrily, sending the food, plate and all, toward the rubbish bin, where it crashed against the wall and fell in with a satisfying tinkle of broken porcelain. He was about to go into his room when he heard voices approaching from the other side of the door, and he dropped into a chair by the fireplace, picking up a book, determined to look as though nothing was bothering him.
"After you," he heard Hux hold the door.
"Thank you," Hermione replied cheerfully. "I'll get that second vanishing cabinet put up here tomorrow, and the one is being delivered to Grimmauld Place by noon. After that you should be able to just go between the two and follow the directions to the library, so you won't need me to come with."
Hux placed an armload of books onto the table. "Perhaps you could show me once more?" he asked with a hint of a smile.
"Of course," she replied with a smile and a nod. "Can't have you getting lost in London, can I?"
"I don't doubt you would be able to find me, but I'd rather not trouble you."
"It's no trouble," she shrugged. "I like London, and sometimes it surprises me."
"Which reminds me, thank you again for dinner tonight," he reached out and touched her arm gently. "It was... an experience."
"Indian food usually is the first time!" she laughed, biting her lip as she returned the gesture and leaned into him. "I should have warned you how spicy it can get! You did well hiding your pain."
There was a knocking noise Ren knew meant someone was trying to get her attention in her office. "Excuse me," she said softly, heading back out the door. Hux watched her go, and Ren scowled again as he saw Hux's eyes sweep appreciatively over Hermione's retreating form. Hux pulled something from his pocket and went to throw it in the bin when his hand paused.
"Did the plate cause you offense?" he asked harshly.
Ren glared at him.
"There's been an incident on the fourth floor," Hermione announced coming back into the room. "One day the Slytherins and Gryffindors will stop pranking each other, but apparently tonight is not the night. I'll probably be out the next couple hours helping with the aftermath."
"Is there anything I could do to help?" Hux asked.
"Not unless you know how to remove antlers without damaging a child's skull," she sighed.
Ren snorted.
"Then I will bid you good-night, Hermione," Hux nodded. "Thank you again for the enjoyable evening."
"Anytime," she smiled, then she turned to Ren. "I'm sorry I didn't warn you about dinner," she said. "I should have let you know we'd be staying out."
"It's alright," he replied, trying to hide the fact that it wasn't.
"I have some time first thing in the morning," she said apologetically. "Lets have an early breakfast and go out to the forest?"
"Okay," he nodded, trying to ignore the fact that his insides just became lighter.
"Good night, Ren."
"Good night, Hermione."
Both men watched her silently as she left, shutting the door behind her.
"Do me a favor, and try to contain your thoughts," Ren grumbled.
"I'll thank you to stay out of my head," Hux shot back. "Turn off your Force or whatever you need to do to give me some privacy."
"You're projecting," he snapped back. "And even if you weren't it would take someone very unobservant to not notice what you're thinking."
"Does it bother you, Ren?" he hissed. "Does the thought of me having what would amount to a human emotion inconvenience you in some way?"
"You don't have to think about Hermione like that. I've been hearing it for over a week, and it's starting to get on my nerves."
"Why shouldn't I?" he raised an eyebrow. "Hermione is an attractive, intelligent woman. She would make a smart match."
"She knows you destroyed five planets. I think that might be an insurmountable obstacle for her," he sneered.
"Have you heard her say anything like that?" he challenged.
"She knows how to guard her thoughts," he replied dismissively.
"She has been kind and generous to me," he defended. "While I do not think she would entertain the thought of a relationship with me at the moment I do not see the harm in trying to show her my interest and intention to better myself now so she might give me a chance in the future."
"You sound like a droid trying to explain a relationship," he snarled.
"Why do you care?" he asked. "I thought trivial things like relationships and attraction were beneath Force users or something along those lines. I thought emotions were only for when you want to destroy something."
"I just don't want to listen to it," he replied with a growl. "And I don't think Hermione needs someone following her around like a lovesick animal."
Hux's eyes narrowed. "I don't think that's it," he said in a low voice.
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, so now you don't know what's going through my head?" he taunted. "Don't think I haven't noticed the way you look at her. Or how you make sure you are always between us. Or how you find a way to get her to break off plans with me to help you. Now you claim you've known about my feelings for her for a while, and yet you have done everything you can to get between us. Do you really hate me enough to try to keep me from Hermione, or do you see me as competition, Ren?"
Ren scoffed.
"This is childish. I'm going to bed," he announced, turning and striding into the bedroom. Ren waited until he passed through to wave his hand and shut the door with a satisfying slam, then stomp from the room, heading to his spot in the woods.
XXXXXX
Hermione dropped her stack of work on an unused corner of Neville's desk. Her former classmate raised an eyebrow and carefully moved a few things away.
"Mind if I get caught up on some marking in here?" she asked, already pulling out a quill.
"I don't mind at all," he nodded. "I'm just doing some marking of my own."
They worked in silence for a few minutes before he finally asked, "So... what's wrong with your office?"
"Those two," she nearly growled. "You were right that they don't like each other, but the last couple weeks it's been horrible. I don't know what has gotten into them, but they are making the Gryffindor and Slytherin fourth years look like bloody amateurs with their grudge-holding."
"I'm listening," he put down his quill.
"Remember that night when we had to deal with the students throwing hexes at each other?"
"Mister Ashton only just this morning got the wings off his face."
"I don't know what happened between them that night, but they can't even be in the same bloody room with each other. Ren has used whatever he could get his hands on to build a wall between their beds. I've been giving Hux private lessons after hours, and Ren used to sit in the corner either pretending that he isn't interested while taking it all in, or doing little things for a cheap laugh. I've had to ban him from being anywhere near the lessons, because he's just gotten mean. The other day I was showing Hux how a blender works and Ren knocked the top off as Hux was leaning over it. Hux obviously doesn't have the same abilities Ren has, but he seems quite adept at riling Ren to the point where Ren has to leave because I knows I'll kick him out if he destroys anything in the room again."
"Again?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Sadly my teapot was unable to be properly repaired. Luckily for him I keep my good teapot at the cottage, and the one he broke is that bloody hideous one Luna got for me in Sweden, but if he wrecks something important..."
He chuckled. "Has their behavior changed in any other ways?"
"They've both become somewhat demanding of my time, which is why I'm doing my marking in here. Ren seems to have an interest in wands that he didn't really have before, and Hux is coming home from the library nearly every day with a stack of books and enough questions that made my school years look positively restrained."
"Oh, Hermione," he shook his head. "You don't know what changed?"
"Not a bloody clue! I don't know why men are so convinced that women are the confusing ones, I can't interpret this behavior in the slightest..."
"Really?" he raised an eyebrow. "Honestly, Hermione, you can't see it?"
"See what?"
"They're two alpha males, fighting over a possible mate."
"Excuse me?"
"Maybe not the best way to put it," he cringed. "But that doesn't mean the point isn't there."
"You seem quite insistent that there is something between us when there really isn't."
"That's the problem, isn't it? There's nothing between you and either one of them, so they're both putting on a show to try to get you to start something."
She bit her lip. "This is a horrible time for them to be pulling this."
"These things never happen conveniently," he nodded, trying and failing to hide a smile. "And two weeks before exams is pretty damn inconvenient."
"Supposing your theory is correct, which I'm not conceding it is, by the way, what the hell am I supposed to do?"
"You think I have the answer?" he chuckled. "I've exhausted my knowledge of human behavior... they are human, right?"
"Yes, I have a theory about that, but it's more a Severus discussion."
"Complicated and boring?"
"Only boring to the uninterested," she defended.
"Can I get the short version?" he asked.
"There's obviously a connection between our arch and theirs. They're human as far as I can tell, they speak the same language, and they're much more advanced than we are. Obviously someone moved one way or the other before, probably from their side to ours."
"That bit makes sense," he nodded.
"It's going to take a hell of a lot of digging into human history and all that to prove or disprove my theory, which I might want to explore over the summer, except I'm probably going to be saddled with those two."
"Which brings us back full circle, doesn't it?"
"I'm serious, Neville, I have no idea what to do next."
"Pick one," he shrugged. "Or make it clear to both you're not interested."
She sighed.
"Or, you could go to someone who this sort of thing better than me. In case you didn't notice, I'm basing this all on observations of teenagers, it's not like I'm a bloody alpha male and I've never had to fight over a girl. And I'm from this planet. Maybe they just hate each other that much. What are you going to do with them over the summer?"
"They're not ready to be on their own yet," she shook her head. "I'm going to have to take them to the cottage and spend my summer trying to keep the peace while somehow getting them set up for a life away from here."
"So much for a relaxing summer," he smiled.