Silence of the Mojitos

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!
A/N: Ahhhh, me. I can start a new story. :fights with Inner Self as to start the Bartimaeus one or the Douglas Adams one:

Chapter Six: Salvation

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Tsunami

Sasuke stared. And stared, and stared, and stared.

Tears pricked his eyes. "I…"

"Love…" Suigetsu breathed.

"You…" the other boy finished.

"When I told you," the water user began.

"You didn't mean to do any harm…"

"I thought you needed to know…"

"I didn't know what I was thinking…"

"…trying to kill yourself…?"
"Stupid of me…"

"You're mine."

"And you're mine."

"And I'm lost," the hermit said, "What the hell?"

Suigetsu whooped with delight, and hugged them both. The one on the bed, the one in chair, together he crushed them to his chest in boundless, reasonless love. "We're back together, you old ass!"

Sasuke nodded. Suigetsu laughed. The old man sighed.

"We need to finish the story."

He was the Keeper of Truth. The title wasn't just grand sounding, it was true. There wasn't a fact in the world that escaped his notice. He was the soothsayer of the shinobi system. His name was lost to his job. He had under his power the whispers of eons waiting to be revealed.

He would heal their minds.

Suigetsu had been cynical.

"Oh, so its just that simple? You wave your hand and everything's fine and dandy?"

"Yes."

"That's…wonderful."

"Yes, yes it is. I'm wonderful."

Suigetsu had narrowed his eyes at the man. "Stuck up old—"

"Suigetsu," Sasuke's voice had cut in wearily, "If there's a possibility I can forget all this, I want to here it. Do me a favor and shut up."

"Whatever. Hey, can I call you Keeps?"

"No."

The old man outlined his plan. He had many, many secrets at his disposal. He would simply harvest certain secrets from their minds—the method to achieve immortality, the Uchiha clan's horrors—and replace them with milder secrets, softer truths that would allow Konoha to accept them back. Sasuke had made it clear he had amends to make. And amends were made there, where heartbreak festered still from his actions.

"My brother," Sasuke had said. "I don't want to remember him as a villain."

"You want me to keep that truth in your head?" the Keeper had said doubtfully.

"I want you to find another clan with a better reason for why he did what he did."

The hermit sighed. "As you wish."

"Why are you doing this for us?" Suigetsu asked, instinctively wary of kindness.

"Not for you, dear me, do you think I've nothing better to do than sit around all day dabbling in happy endings? Only you would be so stupid to think that. Only a child would have enough faith in the world to go through what you've gone through, and still believe a stranger is doing something out of the goodness of his heart."

"Rub it in, why don't you?"

"It's a compliment, Sui," Sasuke laughed at him. The thought of losing his darkest memories had put him in a good mood, and better health. His lover reveled in the nickname that had been recently bestowed upon him. Sui. Water. Love. Sasuke.

"Some compliment."

"I can't have the secret to immortality in the minds of folks like you," Keeps had explained, "It won't do. Oh, I know you don't want it. Personally, I don't see why anyone would. Seventy years and a score I've served as Keeper of Truth, and I'm waiting for my apprentice still. I can't die until I pass on my trade, you know. This life is punishment enough, I can't imagine living in this hell forever. No, the reason I can't have this truth in the world is because people will always come looking for it. People too stupid to realize that Death is a friend. People who fail to see that it's not Death they fear, but pain. The afterlife. What have you."

"I don't remember asking for a lesson in philosophy, Keeps."

"Don't call me that!"

"Sui, shut up."

The water lover glowered at both of them, and then pulled the dark haired boy into a hug. He waved at the old man to go on.

"People will try to torture it out of you. So this is why I remove the truth from your minds. And because it'll be easier for people to overlook you if you're settled—not out adventuring and making a name for yourself—I'm replacing those truths with something that will get you a home."

"And, about me being a…"

"Cannibal? You became one under Orochimaru's tutelage. There's nothing tying you to it. The addiction will be cured when you no longer remember having it."

Sasuke had never smiled wider. Suigetsu had never laughed harder.

A few weeks later, Naruto received the shock of his life when his best friend tumbled through his window on the arms of a boy sucking at a thermos bottle.

"Hey, Naruto," Sasuke said cheerfully, "What's up, buddy?"

A few months later, Tsunade declared to an ecstatic village that its prize Uchiha had been absolved of all guilt and traitorous accusations due to exceptional circumstances, and that those circumstances could be read about in the next day's newspaper.

A few years after that, Naruto took up the Hokage mantle, and within a few months, Sasuke and Suigetsu got married.

And for many years after that, happiness was all that was found.

"And did the Keeper of Truth find his Apprentice?"

Of course I did. It took some time, but you're here now.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Oh mi gosh its over. –lower lips trembles- Oh, I loved this story. I really did. I can die happy, having written it. Oh mi gosh, depression.

-goes to read something funny-