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Bond with me

Jim ignored the small giggle to his left and shifted from foot to foot as he stared at the large, imposing double doors. It had been twenty minuets since he had been staring at those doors and his patience's was disappearing rapidly. He had always been a fidgety since childhood and it had become somewhat worse after his time of Tarsus IV – he always had to keep moving.

Another giggle and Jim turned to glare at the woman who had become his second mother. "It's not funny, Amanda," he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry," Amanda said and Jim didn't have to look to hear to smile in her voice. "It's just so-"

"Don't say cute," Jim warned.

"Endearing to see you so nervous for Spock," Amanda continued as if Jim hadn't interrupted. "Spock will be accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy, you'll see."

"I know he will," Jim said and he let his arms fall to his side and he turned to face Amanda. "I just…I don't know why I'm so nervous."

Amanda took Jim's hands in hers, silently thankful that no one was around to comment on their actions which would seem illogical to Vulcans and that the two of them could indulge in their 'silly' human ways.

"I'll forever be grateful that you came across my son four years ago," Amanda said softly. "You've been so good to him and a friend that every mother wants for their son." She paused, eyes glittering with emotions as she stared at Jim. "Nothing is going to change between you and Spock."

Jim squeezed her hands and shifted from foot to foot. "Spock's brilliant and has a path in life where he is going to do amazing and brilliant things. I don't have any of that. I spend my days tinkering with an old bike that I found and reading the books Spock has finished with. I don't want to tie Spock down." He let out a sigh and let his hands fall from Amanda's. "You and Sarek have done so much for me and I can't thank you enough but maybe it's time I went back to Earth."

"Don't be an idiot," Amanda said, her words coming out harsher than she anticipated but she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You are like a second son to me Jim and Spock adores you. Spock would never allow you to talk down about yourself and I won't stand for it either."

"Sorry," Jim apologized immediately.

"You'll find your path, Jim," Amanda said. "You aren't as lost as you think you are."

The large double doors started to open and both Jim and Amanda straightened, both eager to catch a glimpse of Spock. Neither had to wait long for when the doors were opened wide enough the half Vulcan was slipping through them.

"So?" Jim asked, his excitement palpable and his previous nervous put aside for the moment.

"I was accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy," Spock said.

Amanda clapped her hands together with obvious glee while Jim reached out and slapped Spock on the arm in a friendly gesture. He would have pulled his best friend into a hug but he could see other Vulcans leaving the room and didn't want to embarrass Spock if they were to be future professors.

"I'm so proud of you, Spock," Amanda said. "This is cause for celebration."

"As I declined their offer to attend a celebration is unnecessary," Spock said.

"Wait – what?" Jim frowned. "You declined their offer? Why would you do that?"

Spock glanced around them subtly before saying, "A conversation that would be more beneficial in private."

"Why don't you two head back," Amanda said. "While I wait for your father. We shall be there soon."

Spock nodded and, at a quick pace, started walking away.

Jim shot Amanda a worried look before hurrying after his best friend and falling into step with him. They were silent as they walked and Jim made no effort to start a conversation knowing anything would go unanswered until they were safely away from prying eyes.

As Jim suspected they didn't speak until they were safely in their home, sealed away in Spock's bedroom.

"Spock?" Jim asked, sinking down onto the bed, blinking up at his friend who looked so unsure with what to do with himself. The room hadn't changed much in the four years that Jim had lived with him. A few trinkets that Jim had purchased Spock had been placed around the room with honor and it always made Jim smile to see them.

"They questioned why I applied to Starfleet on Earth and went on to convey their surprise at my high achievements due to my disadvantage," Spock said quickly, not looking Jim in the eye.

"What disadvantage?" Jim frowned, staring at Spock. He wanted to smooth away the tension that was creasing his best friends forehead and that was sitting in his shoulders but remained seated.

"That I am half human," Spock said quietly.

Anger welled up in Jim so quickly that he clenched Spock's sheets into his fists and clenched his jaw together tightly. "That," he gritted out. "Is the stupidest thing I have ever heard."

"It was illogical to think that prejudice would stop after my schooling," Spock said.

"No it wasn't," Jim spat, flying to his feet. "They can't do that! They should be groveling at your feet and begging you to join them. How dare they question your ability just because you half human! Your smarter then any Vulcan I know."

Spock had finally lifted his gaze to Jim and was observing him with a carefully masked face. "It was logical to decline as I feel I would not reach my full potential under their teachings when many cannot see past my heritage and as I was accepted into Starfleet it did not hurt my career path."

"You – you didn't tell me you got accepted into Starfleet," Jim said in a small voice, unable to keep the hurt from his tone. Immediately the feelings of holding Spock back from his full potential settled in his stomach and heart.

"I received confirmation yesterday at 6:43pm," Spock said.

Jim mentally retraced his steps from yesterday. He had been in the shower when Spock had received the news and then the two had engaged in the beginnings of a game of chess before they were called for dinner.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jim asked, sinking back down onto the bed.

"I wish to imitate you when you have good news. You often 'surprise' me and I thought you would appreciate the gesture in learning that I was accepted into both," Spock said and he suddenly looked uncertain. "Was I incorrect in my assumption that you would find this a worthy surprise?"

Jim shook his head, swallowing the fear that had risen in him. Spock wasn't leaving him behind. He had been trying to do a good thing for Jim, to surprise him. It made his heart stutter and a fond smile filled his space.

"No, Spock. That's a great surprise. I'm so proud of you," Jim said.

Spock nodded and, for a brief second hesitated, before sitting on the bed next to Jim. Their arms brushed and Spock felt Jim's surface emotions break through his barriers – proudlovethankfuldon'twantyoutogo.

After fours years Spock still hadn't been able to block Jim's emotions whenever they touched and he could feel the bond between them strengthening. Spock had been pleasantly surprised that Jim had stuck by him, becoming the only friend that Spock ever had. Not once did Jim ever wish to return to Earth, even after he had a, what Jim referred to as a, falling out with his mother. It appeared that Jim had found something with Spock and he was more than happy to accommodate him.

Spock had been thinking of their future for approximately four months since he had started applying to both Starfleet and the Vulcan Science Academy. Jim was incredibly smart – almost a genius- and had a real gift with engineering. It was clear from their chess matches that Jim had a knack for strategy, becoming one of the few people who could challenge Spock. However he could not discern what Jim wanted to pursue.

With confidence he did not feel he asked, "Would you come with me?"

"To Earth?" Jim asked.

Spock nodded. "While you seem to have become accustomed to the Vulcan environment and have filled your time with study and perfecting your engineering skills, like myself it would appear that Earth would be better suited to our needs."

Jim was silent for a while and Spock resisted the urge to shift. In the time that Spock had known his best friend he had found it harder to control his emotions around the human and that he wasn't as concerned with Jim seeing them.

"You've been thinking about this for a while, haven't you?" Jim asked.

"Approximately four months, when I started applying," Spock confirmed.

"You've been thinking about our future," Jim stated.

Shifting his body so that he could see Jim fully he saw that a smile was starting to spread across Jim's face, his eyes seeming impossibly bluer.

"I – yes," Spock faltered.

"You want me to be with you? Even though I have no idea what I'm doing with my life?" Jim asked.

"Of course," Spock frowned. "Why would I not include you?"

Jim opened and closed his mouth several times but nothing came out. Unable to think of any word that would convey to Spock just how much the half Vulcan meant to him, Jim slowly reached out to take the hands that rested in Spock's lap. He watched for any type of resistant but Spock said nothing, just a small frown creasing the middle of his forehead.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Jim took Spock's hands.

Happinessthankfulfriendshipbrothersohappywithyouloveminewantyoudon'teverwanttoleaveyoubehindtogetherforever.

Jim didn't keep the contact long, slowly releasing Spock's hands and folding his own into his lap. Spock's eyes had fallen closed, his breath seeming heavier than before but Jim made no rush to interrupt him. To him it seemed that this is where the two had been heading since they were sixteen and Spock had wrapped himself around Jim, protecting him and offering him comfort when his mother abandoned him.

"Jim," Spock said, his voice boarding on hoarse.

"I'll always want to be with you Spock," Jim said. "You've given me a purpose."

The 'to live' went unsaid. Both were aware of Jim's previous suicidal thoughts after his trauma on Tarsus IV. Jim had only ever brought up the incident once when he had a panic attack after a nightmare. It had been two years after Jim had moved in with them and he had told Spock all about his childhood. Spock had spent the rest of the night wrapped around his friend and projecting comfort and love on to him.

"You are T'hy'la," Spock said.

Jim may have been boarding on genius and although he struggled with learning different languages he had been on Vulcan long enough to know what that word meant and how precious it was to find one.

The emotions that were practically travelling warp speed through Jim was too much even for a human and he wrapped an arm around Spock's neck and pulled him into a human kiss. Their lips slammed together messily but neither cared as they quickly righted themselves to perfect angle and their lips slid together easily.

Jim poured all of his emotions into the kiss, humming when one of Spock's arms wrapped around his waist and the other pressed their fingers together in a Vulcan kiss.

Spock growled at the emotions flooding through him and pushed Jim until they were crawling across the bed and Spock pinned Jim to the covers with his weight, one hand sliding up under Jim's t-shirt while he kissed him deeper.

Jim gasped at the sudden, intimate touch and arched into Spock's hand. His whole body felt hot and to have Spock touching him in such a way was all he had ever dreamed about and to have it finally happened was overwhelming. His own hands were trailing through Spock's neatly kept hair while the other was searching for bare skin under his Vulcan clothing.

Spock pulled back, breathing heavily and his eyes almost black with emotion. "I want to bond with you."

Jim's eyes widened and he felt as if he had been punched. "Bond? As in the equivalent of a human marriage?"

"Simply put, yes," Spock said. "I do not find it illogical to bond straight away. You are all that I will ever want and need. You are my T'hy'la and to be without you would be most unbearable."

"Fuck Spock," Jim gasped, surging up and pulling him into another deep kiss. "That is the most romantic thing I have ever heard."

"You will bond with me?" Spock asked, evading Jim's lips as he tried to pull him into another kiss. Spock needed an answer before he got so lost in Jim that he could not think properly. He needed to hear that Jim would be his.

"Yes," Jim implored. "Of course I'll bond with you. I love you, Spock."

"I cherish thee," Spock returned and allowed himself to be kissed again. He softened the kiss, until it was no longer needy and desperate before placing his fingers on Jim's face over his psi points and murmuring the words to meld them together.

"Bonded?" Amanda repeated, looking at her son with wide eyes. "Oh Spock!"

"I apologize for not discussing it with you both first," Spock said, directing this to both his mother and father.

"We suspected that you would choose Jim to be your mate," Sarek said in his usual even tone. "He was a logical choice for you. Another had requested a chance to bond with you but I shall let them know you are in no need of a mate."

"Thank you," Spock nodded. "I realize that you would not have Jim as your first choice-"

"Spock," Amanda interrupted. "We know that you love Jim and we would never have stood in your way."

"Your mother is correct," Sarek said. "Although it would have been more productive of you to have mated with a Vulcan, you are half human and Jim fits the requirements of what you need."

Even Amanda turned to Sarek with surprise. In Spock's youth he had made his views on Spock denouncing his human heritage clear and Amanda had never taken offence but she was stunned that he was siding with her in the matter. She felt herself falling in love with him all over again and made a note to show him later in the privacy of their room.

"Where is Jim?" Amanda asked. "I want to congratulate him too."

"Sleeping," Spock said. "The bond took a lot out of him."

Amanda remembered her own bonding and felt a surge of sympathy for Jim. It was an emotional journey the two had just embarked on and she remembered how long it took her to recover but she also remembered how much it had been worth it.

"Then we will let him rest and have a celebration tomorrow," Amanda said. "You should go be with him for when he wakes."

Spock nodded. "I shall take some food with me for when he requires it."

While Spock moved about the kitchen to find some suitable food for Jim Amanda snuck a quick Vulcan kiss to her husband and enjoyed his look of surprise, for they were very few times in which she succeeded.

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