"A Night Lived (Part Two)"
Roy looked up, clutching at his collar and groaning. Someone's hand was trapped between his legs. Ed, for his part, simply stood there tapping his foot.
"Hungry?" Roy rasped, arching an eyebrow. The blond nodded.
"Yeah," he confirmed. "We were on our way to the kitchen. You could come with us, go somewhere else, or just lay there and pretend to be dead. So, what do you want to do?"
Someone in the pile groaned.
"Is there alcohol and coffee there?" the general asked, completely serious. Ed shrugged, and a grunt came from under Roy.
"A man after my own heart," Sirius's voice came from just below Roy's thighs. "Or on top of it. God, you're heavy. Mind literally getting off my chest? When you do – urgh, I can't breathe – we can drink to anything you want. Ow."
Roy tugged at Ginny and Dennis. The three slowly rose to their feet, and Ed cocked his head.
"Whoa. You're bleeding," the younger alchemist said. He stepped just a little closer than Roy might have liked. "Are you okay?"
"I've killed nine people today," Roy murmured, observing Ed for any reaction. The teen remained silent. "Of course I'm not okay. But what about you?"
"I...uh," the blond coughed. "I'm okay."
The group was oddly silent for a few moments, Harry grooming and brushing off Sirius. Ron spent the time looking over his sister carefully. The general stared Edward in the eye until the other alchemist looked away.
"I broke a door down," the teen offered. "That's the worst of my day. Sorry yours was shit."
"My day's been great," Sirius said, leaning against the wall. "So I'm sorry, too. Not as sorry as Ed, I'm sure, seeing as you two are so close, but..."
"Sirius," Ed interrupted. "Shut up."
Roy spent a moment staring at his young subordinate before sighing heavily and tugging Dennis and Ginny towards the other group. The blond flinched when he looked at his neck, and it took a moment for the general to realize why.
"Oh, man, are you bleeding," Ed pointed out, reaching up and pulling at the collar around the man's neck. "And why are you wearing a collaranyway?"
"You really don't want to know," Roy answered. "That said, it's not a good plan to stand around like this while the castle's under lockdown. You said we were going to a kitchen?"
"Oh, yeah. I guess we should go," the younger man admitted. He leaned in close, scrutinizing the collar. While right next to the older man's ear, he growled a warning. "Behave."
Sirius sent the pair a knowing glance before turning to the bespectacled boy next to him.
"Right, right; we ought to go," he said loudly. "Right now."
"Should I ask?" Ed muttered, casting his eyes over the painting in front of them. Harry shot him a glare and reached up, cloak billowing unrealistically around his hips. The blond ignored it, watching the other teen tickle – tickle? - a peach in the painting.
After a moment of squirming, the peach became a doorknob, which Harry immediately turned and yanked open.
"So much sense," the young alchemist murmured. "Everything here makes so much sense."
"You know better than that," Sirius admonished. "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it sarcastically either. Besides, the walls have ears."
"I don't doubt it," Ed growled, following him into the room.
Little people were everywhere.
"Oh, Professor Mustang," Remus's voice rang across the room. "What a surprise. I see you bumped into Sirius and the group. And you brought along Mr. Creevy and our own young Miss Weasley. Thank you."
A few joyful noises met his words, and Edward watched as Ron and Hermione rushed to Ginny's side, speaking at the same time and embracing her. Remus pecked Sirius on the lips briefly before scanning the room and closing the door. Harry leaned against the wall, almost shaking.
"Are you okay, you--" Ed cut himself off, reminding himself to be civil. "Erm...you...look pretty bad."
The other teen took a deep, trembling breath and sat down, wiping a fair amount of sweat off his brow. The blond knelt down, actually concerned.
"Seriously, man. You look like shit. What happened?" he asked, peering into his Housemate's face. Harry really looked sick. "Whoa, uh...should I be doing something? Do you need to lie down or something?"
"Don't draw attention to it," Harry whispered, watching his friends fuss over Ginny. "It's...my scar. It does this sometimes."
He was lying.
Ed tugged his glove off his left hand, placing his palm over the other boy's forehead. He was warm, but not feverish. And before he could actually do anything else, Harry pulled his hand away.
"I'm not sick," Harry protested. Ed raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not stupid," he countered. The other boy looked embarrassed. "But if you're that determined, I'll leave you alone. I don't do charity for idiots."
The two glared at each other for a moment.
"Ed?" Roy called over, breaking the mood. "What're you doing?"
Ed cleared his throat and met his superior's eye. The other teachers present chuckled, and he raised an eyebrow.
"What?" he asked. Remus recovered immediately.
"I shouldn't be laughing, I know," he murmured, the chuckle still in his voice. "Your nose is bleeding. Pretty badly, actually. You didn't notice?"
No, he hadn't. Ed's hand traveled to his face immediately, and he swore quietly. Fuck. When had that happened? He glared at Potter again, who maintained a smugly superior look despite still looking a little sick. One of the little people-things running around the kitchen was at his side instantly with a napkin.
"Thanks," he muttered, walking to a table and sitting on it. "Anyway, what time is it?"
"Six or so," Roy responded, tugging Dennis and Ginny along with him and joining his subordinate. "Which definitely explains why I'm so hungry. If this is a kitchen, where's the food?"
As he said this, Ed watched a few more little people emerge from a tiny cupboard, arms laden with plates of fruits and meat and every other kind of food Ed knew. They pushed the platters up at the two insistently, offering a few to the two on the ground as well.
"Wow," Ed had to admit, taking a bit of everything. "Who knew? You should try some."
Roy nodded, a hand playing with Ed's braid for a moment before going for the food. The blond shoved an apple in his mouth, trying to avoid blushing. Even that familiar, completely non-sexual contact was too suggestive and personal for him to accept in front of these people. The older man probably didn't know how bad it was.
"You two are close," Ron said, sitting on the table adjacent to theirs. "How close?"
The alchemists looked at one another for a moment. Inwardly, Ed hoped Roy had some excuse already cooked up. Of course he would. Or he'd, erm...do something else...
"We're very close," Roy confirmed with something close to a smile. Ed wanted to groan. "Actually, I probably know him better than anyone else, here or back home. I'd say I know everything about him. Is that good enough?"
"No," Hermione said, jumping onto the table next to Ron. "How'd you meet? Where? Details would be appreciated."
Ed cleared his throat, noticing the eyes of everyone on him.
"We met about six years ago," the blond said, running a hand through his bangs. "My family was gone – except my brother, anyway – and he came to get me. He, uh...knew my father. Kind of. That is, he'd worked with him. Anyway, he brought us to the capitol and set up a place for us to stay. There you go."
"So he raised you," Ron nodded, seemingly understanding perfectly. If only he knew. "Did you live together?"
"We did," Roy lied. Ed admired him in an odd way. "But enough about us – tell us about the school. As you know it."
The other teenagers looked at each other. Potter had been approaching the table when Roy had made the inquiry, and now had frozen in his tracks. The conspiratorial looks between them confused the blond, at least until four of the five burst out laughing.
Now, he was completely lost.
"You don't want to know, mate," Ron managed between peals of laughter. "Trust me, unless you've seen monsters or something, you don't wanna know."
"I've seen 'or something'," Ed clarified. "How bad could yours be?"
"Oh, it's bad," Potter's eyes narrowed, mirth forgotten. "For example – the horseless carriages?"
Ed thought for a moment, looking to Roy. The other man seemed as lost as he was.
"What horseless carriages?" the young alchemist asked, racking his memory. "I mean, those were creepy looking horses, but they were...probably horses. With scales, but whatever. I suppose they're important?"
"Very," Hermione seemed a little shell-shocked. "You can't see them unless you've seen someone die."
"Oh," Roy said, munching on a carrot. Definitely too sexual for Ed's taste. "That makes sense. Your mother was your first, right?"
Ed nodded, glaring. Ginny coughed.
"That sounded too dirty, Professor," she said evenly. The blond redirected his glare.
"Who was yours?" he asked, trying to get back at him.
"An Ishbalan," the man said quietly. "Her name was Inmari. She was a beautiful woman. Before the war, I dated her a little while. She became a soldier. I'm sure you understand what happened, Edward."
Ed did. No way he wouldn't – Ishbal was horrible. He hadn't just seen her die – he'd probably killed her, too. Poor man.
"You watched your girlfriend die?" Ron looked horrified. No big surprise there. "Ugh. Sorry. That had to be bad."
A few minutes more and Roy had finished off all the food he'd taken. He beckoned over another one of the little people.
"Get me your strongest liquor," the general commanded. The little person nodded, rushing off and back in a matter of seconds. He handed up an enormous bottle, and Roy took a moment to read the bottle. "'Merilgin's Magical Whiskey'?"
"Good stuff," Sirius called over. "Mustang, throw me some."
"One bottle,"Roy retaliated, taking an enormous swig of the liquid and throwing back his head. "Oh, but you're right. Damn, this is good. Get your own."
Ed scooted a few inches away from his superior.
"Come on," Sirius stood up and approached, smiling. "Just a couple of sips."
"You wouldn't get drunk off a couple of sips," Roy growled. "Get your own, okay? This is mine now."
"Fucking alcoholic," the dog-man countered. "You're gonna give yourself one hell of a hangover. And you're attached to two teenagers. Thanks for being such a great example."
Ginny shrugged while Dennis simply looked uncomfortable.
"Like I've never been drunk before," the redheaded girl muttered, stretching out. She banged her head against the table leg a few times. "And Sirius, you reeked of alcohol whenever we came to visit you...a couple years ago. Besides, I like Professor Mustang. He's cool."
Roy sent Ed an "I-told-you-so" look.
"Thank you, Miss Weasley," he smirked. "But that still won't get you any of this."
"I was that obvious?" she pouted. Ed wanted to smack her, almost. "Darn. And here I thought I was being sneaky."
"You know, you not being all goody-goody is kind of scary," Potter admitted, holding his head. "Where did the sweet take your time, I understand Ginny go?"
"You dumped me," she muttered, drawing her knees up. "She kind of left."
Ed hazarded a glance to Roy, shocked to discover he'd already finished a quarter of the bottle. He even looked sober. Either the older man had a really high tolerance for alcohol or the drink didn't have a high content.
"So," Ed tore his eyes away from his superior for a moment, "she wasn't always...this way?"
Ginny laughed, playing with the rope around her arm.
"I just decided...well, you know, to hell with it...after Harry dumped me. I just wanted to have some fun," she said, an appropriately smug look on her face. Ron looked a little sick. "So I snuck out a lot during the summer. Partied, got drunk, got laid – God, it was fun. It just makes you feel so...so dirty, you know? It's exhilarating."
Roy, to Ed's horror, nodded.
"Definitely," he agreed. "Youth is just for having fun. Because really, adulthood sucks. Edward, she has the right idea."
"You're drunk already, aren't you?" Ed asked. Roy nodded.
"A little bit. This is very good stuff. And don't you dare tell me that you've never gotten drunk yourself," the man grinned. When Ed sent him a pointed look, he raised his eyebrows. "I taught you to cheat and lie. I gave you freedom from persecution of any crime aside from murder, and you abused it. You stupid little do-gooder."
"Shut up," the blond blushed. "How did I abuse it?"
"You went and followed all the laws," he accused. "And even when you didn't, it was for good reasons. Idiot. You kidnapped, left the country without a passport, withheld information, and aided a wanted criminal. How could you not get drunk?!"
Ed tensed a bit with everything the older man had said, but the others seemed to be handling it okay. They didn't even seem surprised.
"Getting drunk was never all that high on my list, Professor," he hissed. "Al was. Now shut up and pass out already."
"No," Roy observed everyone. "I am a responsible adult. There's no real reason for me to pass out when there's a crisis at hand, don't you think?"
"But you can get drunk?" Ed asked archly. Roy nodded. "Hell."
THIS IS A BREAK LINE; IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY.
Seven hours later had everyone quiet. Ginny was curled next to Roy, her face hidden.
"She's asleep?" Ed whispered, scooting next to Roy and glancing over her face. She didn't look as pretty unconscious. If anything, she looked unintelligent. A stray drop of saliva was forming at the corner of her mouth, and her hair was strewn messily over her eyes. His superior glanced over her for a moment, nodding.
Roy turned to him, resting his head on his palm as he laid on his side. His free hand went into Ed's face. The blond felt a slight twinge of annoyance, but allowed it, mimicking Roy's posture, minus the hand-in-face part.
"Long day," Ed murmured, voice easily muffled by his superior's hand. "I'd have checked up on you between classes, but Potter and his group got to me first."
"I see," Roy finally said, moving his hand up to Ed's hair. He ran his fingertips over the teen's scalp almost absentmindedly. "Had you managed to do so, I might've been slightly more at ease. As hard as it is to believe, I was worried."
Ed tapped his fingers on his leg.
"About me?" he asked, surprised – but not startled – when the other man nodded in response. "Whoa. Why's that?"
"You've gone missing once. It won't be happening again," the general said in a low voice. "Need I say more?"
A mischievous feeling washed over the younger alchemist.
"You like me, don't you?" he inquired seductively. Roy raised an eyebrow.
"Why would you assume that?"
Experimentally, Ed pulled himself closer, face turning up at his 'roommate's'. The other man mirrored the image, mouth inches from the teen's.
"I need a reason?" the blond whispered. His breathing was getting a little shallow. Interesting. Roy's face continued getting closer, his breath mixing with his subordinate's. He didn't seem to notice, stopping barely a centimeter from Ed's lips.
"Yeah, you do," he replied breathlessly, the hand on Ed's scalp reaching around to cup the back of his head. He pulled him into a brutal kiss, almost crushing his lips.
Ed froze, eyes wide.
They'd only kissed during and directly after sex, and doing this now did things to him. The teen felt familiar stirrings below his waist as his superior pressed his tongue into his unresisting mouth. After a moment of shock, he began to kiss back, not sure what he was doing.
Roy apparently didn't have this problem, coaxing the other alchemist's tongue into his own mouth and sucking it. Ed could've melted, whimpering and groaning quietly at the sensation. He reached up and tugged at the other man's hair, brutalizing both their lips. Roy groaned quietly into his mouth.
"Be...quiet..."
Ed was fairly certain he'd said this, but he could be sure. It had been muffled in their mouths. Roy reached around his subordinate's waist and pulled him into his chest, breathing heavily through his nose. Their lips separated for a moment, but melded together again almost instantly.
They pulled apart again for a moment, Ed blinking and suddenly realizing where they were.
"Oh, fuck," he whispered, covering the other man's mouth. "Fuck, fuck, fuck – did you not realize where we are? Besides being trapped in a room with seven other people, we're two feet away from her and the kid! Fuck!"
"Shh," the general whispered, pulling him closer and pressing their lips together again for a moment. "It's your fault."
Ed cast a wary glance around the room, making sure everyone was still asleep.
"How?"
"You tempted me," Roy said matter-of-factly. "And no, this was not my way of confessing that I actually like you, to use your word."
The blond tried to slip away from his superior, but the man's arms wouldn't budge. He hissed, glaring despite the close quarters.
"Let me go," he growled, struggling valiantly. "What if someone wakes up?"
Roy kissed him again, effectively muffling his next questions. The teen tried his best to actively resist, but when his partner pressed their hips together, he lost the will. After about a minute, they separated, and Ed whimpered wantonly.
"Shit, I want this," Roy sighed. "I haven't had sex in days. I want you so bad – right here, right now – but I know I can't...have you right now. So I'm going to stop."
Even as he said this, he continued to move his hips, breathing heavily. Ed clenched his eyes closed, throwing a head back.
"You said you...were stopping...now," he breathed. Roy nodded.
"I am...but you're staying here. Turn around," the man commanded gently. Ed hesitated, but did as was asked of him, still in his arms. The older man breathed softly over his neck. "Fuck. As soon as we get back to our room, we're fucking. Condoms or no condoms. Whether you want to or not."
"That's rape," Ed let out a raspy whisper, but felt himself smiling anyway.
"So is having sex with you anyway, so what's the difference?" Roy clarified. "Go to sleep."
The teen nodded, evening his breathing and attempting what he knew would be a hard night's sleep.
THIS IS A BREAK LINE; IT'S NOT IMPORTANT TO THE STORY. CARRY ON.
If the night was rough, the morning was horrible.
"Oh, good morning, Edward," Remus said all too calmly. Ed nodded, attempting to move. Ginny, somewhere to his side, gagged. "I assume that position wasn't intentional, of course, but you might want to get out of it."
"I'm trying," the blond replied. Roy's arms around his waist didn't help his cause any, especially considering that his face was buried somewhere in the teen's chest. "Someone get some coffee, and he might get off me."
Roy shifted, tightening his grip. Dennis slid further away, testing the limits of his bonds with the man. A few giggles came from Hermione's direction.
"You underestimate me," the general groaned. "I'm tired now. Stay still. You're comfy, and Lihst isn't trying to kill me. It's a good morning."
"The school is under attack," Ed growled. "That's your idea of a good morning?"
"Better that than Lihst," Roy sighed. "She shreds my chest every chance she gets. You must've trained her. I'm good with animals. And she decided she hates me. And I hate her, so it works. And I'm tired, so let me sleep."
Remus cleared his throat, sending a warning glance at Sirius.
"We have coffee and gin," the werewolf said, kneeling next to them. "And Edward really needs to get up. Can you let him go?"
"Gimme the gin first," Roy managed. "Then I'll let him go."
Remus sighed, but called for the gin anyway. Once it arrived, he held it out to the general and raised an eyebrow. Roy groaned and rolled off Edward, who nodded to the werewolf in appreciation.
"Uh, good morning," the blond murmured, scooting away from his superior. "What time is it?"
"Ten in the morning," Remus answered. He held out a goblet of...something. "Drink this – it's tea. It should wake you up."
Ed accepted the goblet and sniffed it hesitantly before scoffing. "As if I'm the one who needs to wake up the most. Could you at least caffeinate the gin? I don't want to be put into such a compromising position again."
The werewolf smiled, tipping the goblet against Ed's lips. The blond took a few sips and scowled at the taste. "I'm afraid you haven't seen anything compromising yet, Edward. It's a sad fact of this school that whatever you least expect to see or happen is, inevitably, the most likely thing to occur," Remus shrugged, leaning back. "Take Sirius for example. He's exactly what Hogwarts needed most and least right now, and he's what it got."
Somewhere behind them, Ed could hear the sounds of Roy bumping into the wall (or possibly tables) and cursing.
"Charming," Ed muttered, almost choking on the tea as he tried to drink more of it. He raised an eyebrow at it and glared at Sirius, who whistled pseudo-innocently. "I don't suppose I'm allowed to lock him out of the kitchen now, am I? And did someone put something in this tea?"
The werewolf sent a look back at Sirius as well before pulling the goblet out of Ed's hands and sniffing it. "It would appear so," he answered, going so far as to taste a little himself. He grimaced. "Definitely. I'd say he slipped a peach pit and some orange rinds in here. Don't be too upset – after having spoken to Sirius so many times, you ought to realize how much of a joker he is."
Ed decided not to respond to that. He was slightly more concerned as to why the man had found it amusing to put fruity bits into his drink--
Damn. Sirius was a brilliant prankster if he could incorporate personal digs, puns, and disgusting garbage into a simple practical joke. The young alchemist was going to have to learn to admire him for it, or--
Ron wasn't wearing pants.
This revelation was as surprising as it was disturbing, Edward blinking a few times as the redhead scratched at the back of his neck. Remus noticed where he was looking and chuckled. An odd response, but Ed was sure that the man had seen worse with all his years knowing Sirius. But the blond hardly had, and was thus almost captivated by the scene.
Ron sat back on a table next to a fully-clothed Hermione. The two were talking about...something...
"So, Ron, Bill and Fleur are planning on moving to France?" the bushy-haired girl asked, acting for all the world like this was completely normal. Ed didn't want to consider that anyone in the room went without pants on a regular basis.
"Well, yeah," Ron answered, looking thoughtfully at the ceiling. "Her family lives there – and they're all crazy, so we don't want them coming to visit us, you know? It's insane."
Hermione tilted her head. "I think it would be fascinating to know them."
"Great," Ron countered. "Then I might be able to match you with that crazy cousin of hers who kept trying to get me to have sex with him. The only problem is that you don't have a little Junior down there."
Ed blanched at the mental image of Hermione with a penis.
The girl was apparently, and rightly so, utterly furious. She smacked Ron over the head with a closed fist, obviously signaling the end of the conversation. The redhead didn't seem to pick up on it, though, barging ahead in his idiocy.
"Seriously, 'Mione, I mean it. In a good way. You're safe from Pierre," he sounded almost offended as he said this. "You didn't have to hit me--"
Hermione stood up, glaring at him. "I don't want you to ever talk about me with a little Junior again, okay? I thought you were better than that."
Ron finally seemed to catch on, standing as well. He glanced at his cloak and sighed. "Okay, okay. But could you watch my cloak? I have to go fetch my trousers. Dobby's gone mad, I'm sure."
THIS IS A BREAK LINE; IT'S NOT IMPORTANT TO THE STORY. CARRY ON.
"It sounds like Hell up there," Ed said airily, looking up at the ceiling that night as a well-timed crash and the sound of splintering wood came from above them. Remus, the only other person awake at the moment, nodded in agreement.
"It's strange not knowing what's going on," he murmured. "If Sirius was awake, he'd be going crazy."
Ed scoffed. "Like he's not already insane," he pointed out, resting his forearms on his knees and interlacing his fingers. "I don't think I've ever met anyone as...as...I've never met anyone like him, let's just say."
Remus chuckled half-heartedly. "Believe me, he's one of a kind," he said quietly. There's no one in the world quite so spontaneous, mischievous, and idiotic as Sirius, and, in some ways, that's a blessing."
"In what ways is it not a blessing?" the blond deadpanned. "How is it a good thing to have such a spaz around at all?"
Ron twitched in the corner. Ed eyed him curiously until a snore escaped him.
"What I mean," Remus said, directing the alchemist's attention back to him, "is that, while his personality could be defined as eccentric or extreme, his outlook is so rare that people can't help but like him. He loves life, despite how horrible his own has been. He takes nothing lightly. Sirius is just...there ought to be more people like him in the world."
Ed scoffed, cocking his head. "You're either crazy or completely in love with that guy," he muttered, one of his feet twitching.
"'Lovers and madmen have such seething brains'," Remus quoted, thoroughly confusing the young man. He turned his head and looked at the blond with a grin on his face. "And before you ask, that line is from Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream."
"Oh, I've never actually read anything of his," Ed admitted. "So, which are you? A lover or a madman?"
"It really depends on the time of the month, I suppose. Currently, I'm a lover."
They sat together for a few minutes in silence, Remus's posture and face becoming more and more tense. "Edward," he finally broke the ice. Ed looked at him expectantly. "The Amestrian laws about marriage – how you can marry anyone you'd like – do they only apply to Amestrian citizens?"
"No," the teen replied slowly, leaning forward and squinting at the werewolf. "As long as they fill out the paperwork, anyone could get married. The only catch is that non-citizens have to have at least two military escorts at their wedding."
Another moment of silence passed. "This is premature," Remus began hesitantly, "and sudden, I know, but I have to ask. Is there any way you and Professor Mustang could help me marry Sirius?"
Ed had seen this coming.
"He doesn't seem like a major proponent of marriage," the blond said. "Why do you want to?"
"I work to the beat of a more traditional drum," the older man replied, shrugging. "At least, I work to that beat if it's something my parents are to know about."
"And?" Ed pressured.
Remus sighed. "We're thinking of having children," he confessed. "I know we're not the youngest – but the truth is that we're only just becoming able to. The timing is a little concerning, but we've agreed that we want kids."
The teen almost didn't want to know, but decided to plow ahead anyway. "Why just now?" he asked. Remus let out a hysterical whimper.
"We had all the time in the world when we'd first gotten together. We just knew we could have kids if and when we wanted – and believe me, Sirius wanted kids," he explained, running his hands over his face and looking exhausted. "I didn't. I was still in school, completing my university study. Besides which, I still hadn't informed my parents about our status, and the fact that I'm a werewolf makes this even more difficult for me..."
"And?" Ed asked again, waiting for his point.
"And then he was framed for the murders of fifteen people and sent to prison without a trial," Remus said flatly. "He was...he escaped about four years ago, 'died' last year, and, since he got back, we've been desperate for a child."
"Oh," the blond murmured. "I see. I don't think I want kids – at least, not a baby. I'm horrible with them."
"Unfortunate," Remus replied. "What about Professor Mustang?"
"Oh, he, uh," Ed turned to look at Roy. He was stuck between Dennis and Ginny. "I don't know. We haven't spoken about it."
The two were silent for a moment.
"I should've said yes," Remus sighed. "When Sirius first suggested it, I should've said yes. When Lily became pregnant with Harry, I should've said yes. When I saw how much Sirius loved babysitting him, I should have said yes."
"Regret's a bitch," Ed confirmed, fingering his right arm. "I think there's nothing wrong with waiting. You didn't know you didn't have time."
The werewolf glanced at Roy's sleeping figure. "If he wanted to have kids, would you say yes? Right now?" he asked, shoulders sagging.
"I don't know," Ed muttered. "We're used to war, so...well, I've got nothing big going on, aside from readjusting to normal life. I guess I'd say yes."
Even as he said this the blond scanned his partner's body and thought, 'no way. Never gonna happen.'
No matter how good the sex was.
"I see," Remus said, voice barely above a whisper. "I admire that. Don't mention it to Sirius, though, or he'll try convincing Professor Mustang to impregnate you so that he could babysit for the two of you."
"Very funny."
Remus blinked. "I'm going out on a limb here, but have you never heard of male pregnancy?" he asked. Ed stared at him increduously.
"Are you serious?" Ed said almost too loudly.
"So you don't know," Remus cupped his chin thoughtfully. "Men in magical environments – particularly powerful wizards, although it can happen to anyone magical – have the ability to become pregnant. It's a phenomenon explained as a means of self-sustainment, originating during the witch-burning era. So...are you okay?"
Ed felt dizzy, leaning forward. He hadn't—he hadn't--
"Roy and I have never used protection," he pressed his fingertips to his lips, not surprised to find the digits shaking. "Oh, hell. Shit. Could—could I be – I mean, I know that I could be, but – is it possible I'm...?"
Remus threw an arm over his shoulders, rubbing soothingly. The teen willed his stomach down from the general vicinity of his collarbone. "When was your last time?" the older man asked. Ed swallowed hard.
"Five days ago. On the train from St. Mungo's," he replied, a hand going to his abdomen. There were only two things that had ever made him this nervous before: Al's state of being and Izumi discovering his and Al's secret. This was just as bad. "Pomfrey did some tests on me the day after I got back – would she have included a pregnancy test?"
Remus shook his head, dispelling Ed's hopes immediately. "Even if she had, it wouldn't have given a positive reading until you were already three weeks along. I'm sorry," his voice was low and genuinely concerned. "Do you think you'll be okay?"
"I might be pregnant with the spawn of Roy Mustang. Do you think I'm okay?!" he snapped, feeling hot tears enter his eyes. "I-I...I can't think...shit. What should I do?"
"Obviously, you need to discuss the possibility with Professor Mustang," the man said, using his free hand to brush the teenager's bangs out of his face. "If you're lucky, this will be no more than a scare. If you are pregnant, your life is going to change drastically. Can you handle both outcomes?"
"No," Ed choked back his tears. He didn't want to cry. Not now. "Yes. I don't know. Fuck, I could be pregnant. It's all my fault, too. I pushed for sex, not him."
His voice was croaky, probably because he was trying to speak around a pulsing ball in his throat.
"That's different. I imagine that, were I in your situation, I would blame Sirius," Remus interrupted his thoughts. "I'll call for some tea for you."
While Remus made good on his promise and called a House Elf over to give it instructions, Ed wrapped his arms around his body, hugging himself. And, much to his chagrin, the elf tripped on her way back over a sleeping Sirius Black's head.
"Monnie is sorry, Master Lupin. She almost dropped Mister Elric's tea," she whispered, handing Ed a cup and placing a pot on the ground next to her. "And she tripped on Master Black."
"And she woke him up," Sirius muttered, sitting up and scratching his head. "Remus. Ed. What the hell are you two doing awake?"
Ed opened his mouth to answer, but all that came out was a squeak of air. He tried again, and a sob escaped him. And another. And more yet, though he somehow managed to keep quiet.
"H-hey," Sirius's blur shuffled closer. "What did I do? Did I say something wrong?"
Remus pushed Ed's cup against his lips, forcing the teen to take a few sips. The blond covered his face, knowing how pathetic he had to look and acutely aware of his stomach. "Do you want me to tell him?" the werewolf asked quietly. Ed nodded, shoulders heaving. "Sirius, Ed thinks he might be pregnant."
"Oh," Sirius murmured, and Ed felt another arm go over his shoulders. "And I take it he's not ready for kids?" a pause. "Shit. Come here."
Ed found himself in a gentle embrace, face buried in Sirius's chest. A hand rubbed his neck soothingly, and his tears continued to leak out quickly, obviously soaking the other man's cloak. It was disgusting and embarrassing and awkward, and his tea was spilling all over Sirius's leg, which had to hurt. But Sirius didn't seem to mind.
And after spending a moment thinking about it while crying harder than he had in years, Ed decided it was too comfortable to do anything else.
THIS IS A BREAK LINE; IT'S NOT IMPORTANT TO THE STORY. CARRY ON.
And again, morning was hell. Introspectively, Ed realized this might be the reason he wasn't a big morning person. But he couldn't concentrate on that right now. For now, he needed to get out from under Sirius.
"I'm starting to see a pattern here," Hermione said archly. Ed wanted to punch her and vanish at the same time. "Do you make a habit of sleeping with men twice your age?"
"I believe this is an extenuating circumstance," Remus contradicted politely, "although I'm not at liberty to confirm or discuss what circumstance it is."
Roy, awake early for once, raised an eyebrow. The fact that he looked ready to laugh left the teen close to tears. But now that it was morning, his worries seemed a little less drama-worthy. Still bothersome, though.
"Awfully verbose today, aren't you?" the general chuckled. Ed shut his eyes and turned around, reaching for his cloak. "Hey—what's that look for?"
The blond turned around, tugging the fabric over his shoulders. Sirius was glaring at Roy, a murderous look in his eyes. "I'm not giving you a look," he growled.
"Yes, you are," Roy insisted.
"No, I'm not."
"You are definitely giving me a look," the man stated, crossing his arms. "Why are you glaring at me?"
"I'm tired," Sirius muttered, finally breaking his glare. "That makes sense, right? So get off my back, will you?"
"Fine," Roy conceded. "Miss Weasley, is there any way I can be awarded my freedom from you sometime today?"
"No," she murmured, munching on a roll. The two engaged in a conversation about this while Ed demanded food from a nearby House Elf.
The morning proceeded peacefully enough until about lunchtime, the ceiling above them bustling with activity quite unlike what Ed had heard the night before.
"This isn't what I expected," a deep voice came from the doorway. Ed prepared to clap his hands as he wheeled around, but stopped himself when Sirius let out a barking laugh and clapped his own hands twice.
"Kingsley!" he exclaimed, scampering cheerfully toward a large black man. "How have you been since I was declared dead?"
Ed glanced around, surprised to find relief on most of the faces in the room. The man in the doorway raised an eyebrow.
"Busy," he replied. "Between desk work, assignments, and keeping Tonks away from Remus, I've hardly had a moment to myself."
"Oh," Sirius said, face neutral. "I was in prison."
"Of course you were," the bald man shook his head. "If there's a prison near you, you somehow always wind up in it."
Without warning, Sirius pounced on the man Ed now knew as Kingsley. For a moment, he thought the dog-man had snapped, but closer examination found him laughing and pushing his nose all over his victim's face. Kingsley held him back by the shoulders.
"Sirius, we truly did think you dead," he said, sitting up. It almost bothered Ed that he could still look dignified with another grown man sitting perkily in his lap. "So it's good to have you back."
"Do I get a 'welcome home' kiss?" Sirius asked, batting his eyelashes. Kingsley raised an eyebrow and glanced briefly to Remus.
"No," he answered.
Sirius looked at Remus as well, sending him a look both mischievous and apologetic.
"Bugger that!" he declared, shoving Kingsley back to the floor and forcing his lips onto the other man's. The black man struggled violently and knocked his face away. "I'm back, man! Aren't you happy? You said something like it."
"I should rinse my mouth with cyanide," Kingsley said, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. "You germ-ridden manwhore."
"I'm hurt," Sirius said, pouting.
It took perhaps a minute before the newcomer yanked Sirius down by his hair and headbutted him. The two reeled away from one another, Kingsley recovering first and smirking at the dog-man.
"Welcome back," he said. After receiving a thumbs-up from Sirius, he turned to the group.
"Remus. Harry. Everyone," Kingsley nodded. He caught Ed's eye, and the blond braced himself. "Ah, yes. I'd nearly forgotten. Mr. Elric and Mr. Mustang, I presume?"
Ed nodded. The other man sighed.
"Well, the school's been recaptured. I'm here to take you back up."
THIS IS A BREAK LINE; IT'S NOT IMPORTANT TO THE STORY. CARRY ON.
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A/N:
WELL HELLO THERE. IT'S BEEN A WHILE, HASN'T IT?!
Okay, ending capslock mode. I didn't mean for this to be so late – it's just that a lot of stuff happened. I was going to post this before I went to China, but I ended up having twice as much to prepare for and didn't have the time. When I got back, I found out that my grandfather had passed away, as well as my co-worker. I had to attend his funeral and take over her hours. Then I got a promotion at work and was offered a job teaching ESL at my college, so I've been EXCEPTIONALLY BUSY of late.
This chapter was originally longer, but I decided to cut it. The next one shouldn't take nearly as long to finish (I hope), as the original end of this chapter is now the beginning of the next one.
I also did cut some scenes from this one, but if people want to read them I'll repost this with them. Said scenes are:
Sirius and Roy arguing more over the alcohol.
Ginny and Roy having another nice chat about sex, much to Ron's chagrin.
Remus telling a story about when James found out about him and Sirius.
Sirius and Roy discussing the merits of opposable thumbs in relation to alcohol.
Sirius being a generally bad example to everyone and carving fruit into funny shapes.
Roy explaining to Ron and Hermione the multiple ways one can die of combustion.
Sirius trying to ferment peaches to see if they make wine.
Sirius bonding with Ed.
Ron teaching House Elves hopscotch. (Note: Mentioned briefly in the next chapter)
Please don't blame me for the lack of these scenes. My BUDDY Valli read the chapter (full length – 39 pages!) and told me that if I loved Sirius so much I should marry him. Then she made me remove a lot of his scenes because, in her words, "Sirius Black should be committed to an insane asylum. By which I obviously mean he should be chained to your brother's bed so we can have our nasty way with him and torment him with the end of the seventh book."
...Anyone else IN LOVE WITH VALLI YET?! I think she cried herself to sleep when he died.
Right. Hope to post soon! Tell me if you want to see the removed scenes.