Madelyn hovered over the shoulder of the man on the radio. He was obviously very uncomfortable with her standing right there, but she was far too interested in what he was doing to leave. "So you receive word how again?"

"A settlement will use a radio signal to call for help."

"What if they don't have a radio?"

"Then they can't ask for help," he said simply.

Madelyn frowned, "And that's okay with you?"

The man turned around and opened in mouth, but someone's hand rested on her shoulder and she spun around to see a man with dark skin and a friendly smile. "We're not 'okay' with it, but there's little we can do unless a neighboring settlement calls it in, either by seeing it, or being alerted by the settlement in need. But almost all settlements have a radio connection to us, so we don't have to worry about that as often as you'd think."

Madelyn nodded, satisfied. "Is the Sentinel ready for us to depart?" she asked the man, Preston he'd been introduced as.

"Uh, I think he needs a moment, actually, him and Hancock are… talking," he looked uncomfortable for a moment, shifting his laser musket in his hands. She didn't like the gun; it was far too bulky for a laser weapon and the crank made it appear too much of a hassle for quick combat. The weapons issued by the Brotherhood were more ideal for combat.

Madelyn shifted her weight, adjusting the scarf around her neck; she could really use a shower. The trip here had really done a number on her: her auburn hair was gross, matted and greasy from sweat. She had to wear it up, under a hat that came down on her forehead to shield her eyes from the sun and unwanted looks. On her other squiring missions she'd never thought twice about her uniform. Being able to let her hair down and clean it would be fantastic. She had to clear it with the Sentinel first, though, so she left Preston and the radio operator with a polite nod. They didn't notice her as a call came in requesting assistance at a 'Hangman's Ally.'

"Do we have anyone near there?" Preston asked.

"MacCready reported Oberland Station was clear of their…" and then Madelyn was out of earshot. They were less organized than the Brotherhood, just in the half hour she has been here she could see that. They didn't have a systematic send and return pattern, and it seemed like one person could be sent to check on three or four settlements before returning. Like this MacCready person for instance, he or she probably weren't going to end up back here at the Castle for another few days, between going from his past missions and this one, which will be the first of several additional assignments. That is, if Oberland was the first assignment he'd left on. Either way, she was glad she didn't have to deal with it. Preston had called the Sentinel 'General' when they'd arrived, which was wrong, obviously de didn't understand Brotherhood ranking.

Madelyn was starting to feel her impatience. It had taken them just over two days of straight walking to get here from the Prydwen, and most of that time had been the ghoul trying to get her to admit she actually liked it. And for a moment she couldn't help but smile, but then it went and pretended to go feral, nibbling on her arm to wake her from a couple hours rest. She couldn't believe that she had let it doubt her beliefs. The Brotherhood was her life, and what they believed was what she believed. When she was young, and the Brotherhood had taken her in, it was … weaker, they didn't act, they only reacted. Now they were strong, waging and winning war.

Madelyn walked around, trying to find the Sentinel's chambers. Eventually, she came to the end of a hall to a door that was just cracked enough for her to see a set of Brotherhood fatigues folded neatly on its top. That had to be the Sentinel's quarters. The squire came up, knocking on the door gently before pushing it open. "Sentinel Walker? I was wondering if I could be permitted–"

Madelyn's words caught in her throat as she looked around the door, into the room, her eyes settling on a large man dressed in a long, blue coat, and a pointed hat on his head. He looked kind of like the ghoul from the back, but was much larger through the shoulders and about the same at the waist. Under that hat was a small black ponytail, just like the Sentinel's. Beyond the blue was an all too familiar red frock coat. The ghoul was kneeling in front of the Sentinel with a hand on his hip for stability. When he twisted around at the shoulders to look at her, it leaned to the side, making a damp noise with its mouth. Then it licked the corner of its lip, catching a strand of drool that threatened to escape.

"Squire Dangerfield," the Sentinel's cheeks caught fire, and the ghoul leaned back onto its heels, a smirk pulling on its lips.

"I'm–I'm sorry, Sentinel!" she stammered and looked away from the two. "I'll just–" she turned and left them. She couldn't think until she was alone in a hallway, dark because of its distance from a window.

She had walked in on soldiers in those same positions, and she knew just want had happened. She couldn't get the image out of her head. She replayed it in her head unwillingly. As she opened the door the Sentinel had said something, a whisper, something expressing his enjoyment. The ghoul was more than just a friend, it had told her that the Sentinel was its best friend, but he was more to him.

The squire balled her hands up into fists and pressed them to her temples. The Sentinel of the Brotherhood of Steel was fucking a ghoul. She gagged, acid burning her throat. Oh, Elder Maxson would….

'I feel many things for Nate, he's my best friend, the most loyal and irritating person I know. He is too good for scum nowadays,' the ghoul had said. He'd mentioned the Sentinel was from a Vault, from what she'd heard they did horrible things to Vault Dwellers. What had been done to the Sentinel? Was that why he allowed himself to have feelings for that disgusting creature?

She flinched. Disgusting seemed harsh. Abomination was starting to lose it's edge, and maybe that's why she suddenly felt better using that word. Was she going soft? She had heard some Brotherhood soldiers around the Prydwen, and back in the Capitol Wasteland, mention their indifference to ghouls who had not yet gone feral. This was more than indifference, and she knew she'd heard whispers about that happening too. Maybe it wasn't as inconceivable as she thought.

The ghoul wasn't the worst company she'd ever had, and honestly, if he wouldn't have been a ghoul she probably would have liked him right off the bat. It. Like… it right off the bat. Damn it.

She needed to take a shower and stop thinking about this.

The water was cold, dirty, and probably irradiated, but Madelyn wasn't thinking about the water. She couldn't get the image of the Sentinel out of her head. The ghoul kneeling in front of him with that smirk, and the black eyes that were full of a sin he enjoyed far more now that she knew about it. Oh God, she gagged and lowered herself to the floor of the shower, putting her head between her knees. Her heart hammered, and as she tried to avoid thinking about it, she realized she wasn't thinking about what they had done as much as how Elder Maxson would react.

She felt nervous, she had an obligation to tell the Elder, but she… couldn't. Not for more reasons than she was willing to think at the moment. She couldn't go back to the Prydwen until she was ready to be an Initiate, then Maxson couldn't send her away, and if she had to she could tell him then. Yeah, that was a good plan. But how long would that take?

She frowned, lifting her head so that the water could pour over her face, chilling her to the bone. She shuttered, and stood up, the image of the ghoul blowing the Sentinel was burned into her frontal lobe now. It probably wouldn't have been so traumatizing if it would have been someone else, but the idea of sex made her uncomfortable anyway, no matter what kind. She attributed it to her lack of experience. Sure, she'd seen a few men and other women completely nude, she lived in the barracks most of her life after all, but she had only ever kissed two boys, and neither got any farther than that. Which was understandable since she was still rather young, but other squires her age were a bit more… practiced than she was comfortable with being. Besides, after both boys had kissed her they'd gotten black eyes from her brother, this put an end to any boy getting within a klick of her without orders.

She and her brother avoided confirming their relationship because of rank differences and wanting to avoid people thinking she was getting special treatment. This didn't keep her from visiting him often and talking to him, which was how he learned about the boys and then gave them swift beatings. The word didn't exactly get out about them being siblings, but it was made clear that you stayed away from Madelyn unless you wanted a shiner. Besides, she was 'Married to the Brotherhood' just like her brother, meaning neither of them were interested in a serious relationship as it might conflict with orders or priorities.

This also kept her from having friends, as most squires were not as severe as she was yet. She was one of maybe three girls at a time in her squiring unit. She was expected to perform the same, so she took it a step farther, her brother pushing her beyond them so that she would excel passed her peers. But she was never allowed to move on without them. Yeah, special treatment…. No one wanted to hang out with her because she was top of the class and they knew it. She enjoyed being the best, but she had the bad tendency to inform everyone else. Madelyn shot herself in the foot when a girl offered to be her friend, and Madelyn, not ten minutes later, started to coach her on her knowledge of the field. The girl was okay at first, but Dangerfield wasn't good at stopping at the right time and ran the poor girl off with her questioning and expectations.

Even the Knights she squired would seem relieved upon reporting back into Lancer-Captain Kells. Kells and Maxson never told her she was doing anything wrong, though, so she assumed she wasn't the problem. Upon reflection she always doubted herself, everything she did, and she would kick herself, like she was now. She should have knocked and waited for the Sentinel to answer, not just barge in on him. She should have left the moment she saw what he was doing, not gawk at him like a stupid child. He was probably going to request her return to the Prydwen. She would be surprised if he was even calling a vertibird to their location to pick her up.

Fear swelled in her belly and she felt sick, she couldn't go back to the Prydwen, not now, not before she was ready to be an Initiate, otherwise she would be sent back to the Capitol, and she didn't want that. Madelyn shook her head and pounded a fist against the damp stone of the shower wall. "Ugh," she shook her head. She was so confused. Why wasn't she more upset about the Sentinel?

The whole way here the ghoul had been a great companion to him…. They worked better than most Brotherhood soldiers did. At the beginning the Sentinel would forget about her, but after they'd spent the night at the house he didn't, which made Madelyn feel better. The ghoul seemed to go out of its way to notice her, and even get a rise out of her. It was playful, she now noticed. In the moment she was always so angry and annoyed, but now she smiled a little, remembering him gnawing on her arm and groaning like he was trying to keep from laughing. She had given him a pretty good black eye, but now she smiled because of how funny it was, not because she hit the ghoul and the Sentinel had not chided her like she feared he would.

Little over a day and she was starting to feel something other than hate for a ghoul. She rubbed her temples with her knuckles and turned off the water. She was pretty sure the water had been pumped in from the lake outside with little filtering, but she surprisingly felt a whole lot better. But she also felt worse.

Madelyn grabbed a towel as a knock on the wooden door echoed through the quiet washroom. "Dangerfield? Are you in here?" the Sentinel's voice came through the crack he made, holding the door so that it wouldn't open all the way until he was permitted entry.

She wrapped the towel around herself. "Sentinel," she said.

"May I enter? Are you decent?"

"You may enter," she didn't recognize her voice. It sounded stiff, like she was purposefully holding back emotions.

The Sentinel came in, dressed just as he had been half an hour ago. She didn't understand why he was wearing such an odd outfit. He looked at her, his eyes showing a shock that made her feel uncomfortable. Was he shocked because she was only in a towel? Other reasons? Madelyn preferred to wear loose clothing, but squire uniforms were bulky, with many pockets and layers to keep track of, so she felt like she lost a lot of herself in the clothes. Now she only had her towel tied next to her left shoulder, the fabric muting her form, but showing more skin than the Sentinel had even seen of her. She ran her fingers through her auburn hair that fell long passed her shoulders, but she always had to have it off her collar. He recovered himself, "I'm sorry for–"

"It's okay, Sentinel," she said, cutting him off against her own training. "You care for it a great deal, don't you?"

"It? Dangerfield, his name is Hancock," he frowned at her and she felt horrible, but she couldn't bring herself to say anything. If she agreed or disagreed she would be wrong, and right now, she couldn't handle that. "I love him," the Sentinel said, his voice kind.

"How?" was all she could manage.

"Have you met him? For a moment, forget he's a ghoul. Tell me he's not someone that you'd like to have around…" the Sentinel sat in a damp chair, putting him more at her height. "How long have you been in the Brotherhood?"

She didn't reply right away, she didn't like thinking of her past, she tried to avoid it whenever she could. A grand total of one person knew her whole backstory. "Since… most of my life."

"I can understand that the Brotherhood is your family, it's mine too." He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "Get dressed and meet me at the café in front of the Castle." He stood up and left her.

The café was small and had a gaping hole in one side. Madelyn saw some people walking around inside and took a deep breath before making her way down to the restaurant. It didn't feel right to enter through the hole so she walked around to the door and entered through that way. The Sentinel sat in a corner booth on the other side of the diner. He was sipping on a Nuka Cola while reading a comic book. She cat down across from him.

"Same clothes? You know you don't have to be in uniform all the time, squire," he said without looking at her. She frowned a little. "Speak your mind."

"Why are you wearing that?" she nodded at the blue coat.

"Because this is my other uniform, and honestly, I'm more comfortable in this than I am in most of what the Brotherhood gives me." He leaned back, putting the comic book down. Madelyn looked at the cover, and then back at the Sentinel. "It's the uniform of the General of the Minutemen, and since I'm their General, I should wear it."

"You're their General?" Shock wasn't a strong enough word for how she felt, but it was the only thing she could think of because of her limited cognitive function at the moment.

"I am," he nodded, a gloved hand rubbing the black hair along his jaw almost shy-like.

"Does Elder Maxson know?"

"I don't think he particularly cares what I do at this point. I've done everything I can for the Brotherhood, Dangerfield," he frowned at her. "I have begged for missions and they just tell me that they don't have anything for someone of my rank."

"But… that's a conflict of interest," she protested.

"How? I lead the Minutemen, if nothing else, I can make them an extension of the Brotherhood. Listen, squire," he leaned forward, meeting her light grey eyes with his hazy blue ones. He normally wore sunglasses, now they were resting on the back of his neck and his hat was resting on the table to his right. She looked over his face, noting small, healed scars. He was handsome, very much so, and because of his attendance neglected to trim back the black hair that was now long enough to make a short Colonial ponytail at the base of his neck. Looking at him now, she could count three silver hairs, one in his mustache, right below the left nostril, and one in each side burn. They were small, but they showed the age that he hid well. "The world works in many ways. Not everything that is Brotherhood is right, and not everything outside the Brotherhood is wrong."

"I don't understand how you can say that," she glared at him.

"Did you know I came from a Vault before here?" he asked her, raising a black eyebrow.

"I'd heard it mentioned."

"Do you know what they did to me?"

"No," she whispered, her voice barely audile.

"I was frozen in a cryogenic pod across from my wife Nora who was holding our infant son, Shaun." He was frowning at her, but staring, hard into her eyes, demanding she not look away. "I was born before the war. Nora and I were married just over a year before Vault-Tec came knocking on our door. We thought it was just going to be a precaution, so fuck it, why not. Better safe than sorry in the events of 'total atomic annulation' right?" He looked at the Grognak the Barbarian Jungle of the Bat-Babies comic. She didn't know what to think. He was obviously getting upset, so she didn't say anything, and sat still, looking at his face. "The same fucking day the world ended. We ran to the Vault, and I just… I knew something was wrong. As soon as we were in the Vault I had this bad feeling, it felt like cattle being herded. But Nora was so scared, I had to throw away my fear for her. The pods were supposed to 'decontaminate and depressurize' us before we went deeper into the Vault, the doctor said. I looked at that seat and I knew that was bullshit, but I…" he grabbed the comic, holding it tightly. "I climbed into that pod of my own accord. I fell for the trap because I hoped I was wrong."

"I'm… I'm so sorry, Sentinel."

"Nate, my name… is Nate," he said, looking at her now, his eyes red rimmed from the pain she could see deep inside.

"Nate…" she whispered.

"Yes," he nodded, smiling just a little. He looked over her face, and then he looked back at the comic. "I woke up once before getting out of the Vault. We all woke up then… but I was the only one refrozen, and everyone else suffocated," his eyes were staring into the past as he remembered the events. "I watched as my wife was shot in the head at point-blank range, and our son was stolen from her dead hands. And then I watched them leave. I broke my hands beating on the glass before they froze me again." The Sentinel leaned back in the booth, letting the comic rest on the table. "The next time I woke up I got out. I took Nora's wedding ring and got out of the Vault. Imagine the look on my face when I see the Waste for the first time. I remember all this when it was green and alive… bustling with people and loud… and polluted with smog not radiation," he looked out the window now, his face twisted in a pained frown. She felt tears welling in her eyes, how could one person live through such a change? "I went home first…. Codsworth, my Mr. Handy was still there, faithful until the end, I never understood that, I had him less than two months before the bombs came and he stuck around for two… hundred… years," Nate closed his eyes, shaking his head. "He didn't know anything about Shaun's kidnapping so he pointed me to Concord, and that's where I found Preston and a group of survivors. I didn't know what I was doing, but they needed help and so did I, so I got them out of there, killing… people, raiders, but they were people…." He cringed at the memory. "I was in the army before everything, and I just… fear what if Nora would have been in my place? How would she have faired? I wouldn't wish this on her.

"But I got them out of there, and I got them back to Sanctuary, where they live now. Mama Murphy pointed me to Diamond City, and it was on my way there that I met Paladin Danse…" suddenly the Sentinel was smiling. But it wasn't a happy smile; it was a very sad one. "I heard the fighting before the distress signal. I was helping them before I even knew who they were. I just… I saw a suit of power armor, and before the war that meant army, so I felt like I had to help." He met Madelyn's stare. "I helped them get the deep range transmitter up and running that broadcasted the S.O.S. to the Prydwen. I joined the Brotherhood then, but I had to find Shaun, so I continued to Diamond City without Danse, and met Piper who pointed me to Nick," he gave a chuckle. "You'll probably hate Nick if you don't like Hancock…. But Nick got me to the asshole that stole my son, and I killed him. It was the second hardest thing I've ever done, but I still say it was worth it. When I was on my way back to Diamond city the Prydwen was flying in from the west. It was the most impressive sight I've ever seen," he smiled at her, "That radiation storm made her look ten times more badass."

Finally Madelyn smiled as well, "Yeah, I remember that…."

"I joined the Minutemen before I joined the Brotherhood, but I joined them the same week," he gave her a thoughtful glance. "I devoted most of my time to the Brotherhood when I was hot on the trail to the Institute, but when I got there…." Suddenly his happiness faded. "I had all these voices whispering in my ears, asking for information, the Railroad, the Brotherhood, the Minutemen even wanted to know whatever they could about the Institute, no matter how small. I wish I wouldn't have been able to get the tape to work," he looked down at his hands now. "Danse might still be alive if I wouldn't have given Proctor Ingram that damn holotape."

"What do you mean?" Madelyn raised an eyebrow at him. "He was a synth."

"Yeah, and he didn't know. He was… Paladin Sebastian Danse, a Brotherhood soldier who bled steel just like you and I," the Sentinel swallowed hard, a lump seeming to form in his throat. "I tried to talk him into running, I tried to talk him out of it… you see," he met her eyes, giving her a guarded look, "Danse and I had grown very close, and we were almost… like Hancock and I, and then that happened." Paladin Danse and the Sentinel would have become lovers if he wouldn't have been killed? She wasn't sure if that was worse or just equally as bad as him being with a ghoul.

"Why were you trying to keep from killing him?"

"Because, he was Paladin Danse. He wasn't an impostor, replaced to infiltrate the Brotherhood. He joined the Brotherhood as a synth, he had been given memories when he escaped and he left the Commonwealth, shortly after, he started a life in Rivet City and joined the Brotherhood from there… that's why his DNA matched that of an escaped synth. And I wish from the bottom of my heart that that little word would have meant more to Elder Maxson, but he… is too dedicated."

"Too dedicated?"

"Yes. You want to know why I'm General of the Minutemen and Sentinel of the Brotherhood? Because I can't pick just one. The Brotherhood is everything I need, but the Minutemen are everything that I want. The Minutemen don't condemn synths and ghouls that are non-hostile, they don't plan to do these outrageous things that could end up making things far worse before any better. But the Brotherhood is the military family that I missed, that I need. But I'm not going to change my beliefs to suit them."

Madelyn looked down at her own hands now. "You can speak your mind, Dangerfield."

"I'm just… so confused. I was the top of my class, and that's why I thought I would be a good match for you," she paused, looking at him, and then corrected, "Er, that's why Elder Maxson thought I was a good match for you, and since then I thought he was right." She balled her hands into fists, but then rambled on, "But the more time I spend with you the more confused I get. I don't hate Hancock like I should, I want to hate him more than I do."

"Why do you want to hate him?"

"Because that's how I should feel…" she said, her brows curving up at the center, showing her distress.

"Dangerfield, you don't have to feel anything you don't want to. Just let your own feelings come through. Then you won't be confused." He leaned forward, his hand resting on hers. His single hand was the size of bother of hers folded together. She nodded, looking up to meet his eyes.

"Madelyn, my name is Madelyn, Nate," she said, smiling at her Sentinel.

Learned that apparently there is unused dialog that says Paladin Danse's name is Saul Johnfield Danse. For future reference, I might keep Johnfield, but Saul Danse just doesn't do it for me. So I'm going with it's not in game, so I'm going to give him something a little nicer in my opinion.