Author's Note: First, thank you for reading and reviewing. Second, I was inspired to get some Harry/Charlie interaction and writing this was rather easy. It will still be a while off before anything happens between them though.
Also, this really got me in the Christmas spirit! Can't believe how fast this year has been.
Anyways, hope you enjoy as always.
11/26/15
Standard disclaimer about not owning anything; I am so thankful for JKR and all that she did for us. She gave us one of the greatest gifts, and so many people have taken to this site and played brilliantly with her creation. We should have a JKR day and it should be a global holiday!
It was a good thing that the wards in Grimmauld Place prevented underage magic from being detected; otherwise, Harry would have gotten in trouble again. Especially when considering that the actual spells that he was using were not completely approved for his age group.
But Harry needed the feeling of being centered and calm that came with his use of magic. He could feel it comfort him as he manipulated the power that flowed out of his core using his wand; and it helped him to not become too overwhelmed with thoughts of the prophecy that had only recently been revealed to him.
Because, if he wasn't careful, he was likely to dwell on the negative thoughts surrounding his supposed fate and doing that could have potentially derailed all of the progress that he had made this year in returning to what counted as close to normal as he was ever going to get.
Practicing magic gave him something to focus on and some feeling of control in this otherwise haphazard time in his life.
Inside of Grimmauld Place, Harry felt that he was now free to perform some of the more intricate magic and spells that he had finally been able to get a better handle on since nearly everything had become easier after the events in the cemetery. Which was still something that he needed to look into more – but figured that he would get there eventually.
The only thing that worried him slightly about his use of magic over the holiday was Sirius. Initially, Harry had been concerned that Sirius would say something about violating the Reasonable Restriction on Underage Magic.
That is, until he had seen Sirius watching him. Whatever hesitancy that Sirius may have harbored in allowing Harry to have free reign over his emotions and magic upon learning about the prophecy were shelved when he saw just how capable Harry was with a wand. It made him feel better knowing that Harry was even farther along than any of the Marauder's had been at that age.
And anyways, Sirius could see how relaxed the use of magic affected his Godson; it was as if he was meditating and positively working through the hardships in his life, one wand movement at a time.
How could Sirius have possibly said no to that?
It turned out that giving Harry that freedom and ability to vent in his own way was also a very good thing for their relationship. They had been long overdue for a serious heart-to-heart, not only about what Harry was dealing with but about his future as well.
When Harry had first come to live at Grimmauld Place, both were as happy as they had ever been in quite some time. Sirius was out of Azkaban and now living as part of a family, something that Harry had always wanted and that Sirius was more than happy to provide. It was the sole reason that he had risked so much to get to and protect Harry, after all.
But after the events surrounding the Dementor and Cedric, Sirius had felt like he had been slowly losing Harry. Even though they had had dinner once a week at Hogwarts and Sirius was able to see him nearly everyday, he had become aware that Harry just wasn't opening himself up to him.
Overtime, that void widened and Sirius didn't know how to breach it. He didn't want to force Harry to talk to him if he didn't want to but at the same time he wanted to make sure that his charge was stable and dealing with his grief in a healthy manner. And slowly, he saw that Harry was indeed improving over the first half of the year. Sirius grew to be thankful that his Godson hadn't given way to despair.
But then Harry had become aware of the prophecy, and Sirius was now worried that everything would change again. He was afraid that things would start to get worse and that Harry would draw into himself once more. Sirius didn't want to lose him again when things seemed to be so close to getting back on track.
When they had returned to Grimmauld Place at the start of the holidays, Sirius was prepared for anything to happen. But he never expected to see the level of focus from Harry, and he couldn't find it in him to reprimand him from doing the one thing that calmed him the most. How many times in his youth had he broken that same, silly law? In addition, Sirius had been impressed with the magic that Harry could wield and thought he was very advanced given his age, but he couldn't say that was actually surprised given everything that had happened in his life.
It made him feel better to know how prepared Harry was, but he didn't want the weight of the prophecy to break him. He wanted to talk to Harry about it, but remained hesitant. Sirius began to doubt the role that he had in Harry's life.
However, that was until Molly Weasley had come over one afternoon to inquire about their holiday plans and when they were going to come over to the Burrow for Boxing Day. She had also brought Harry a letter from Charlie in response to his brief note saying which times were best for them to get together – but had gotten sidetracked when she had seen Harry practicing the type of magic that he was. She didn't think it was proper, forgetting for a moment that she had two kids named Fred and George who did far worse things while under her roof.
She had then started to lay into Sirius about how irresponsible he was for letting Harry do this. That turned out to be the thing that Sirius had needed to get his act in gear and he had instantly come to Harry's defense, making up some reasonable excuse that Harry was working on extracurricular schoolwork with him. Sirius also, and not so subtly, informed her that she had no right to lecture his parenting abilities in his own home.
Needless to say, Molly Weasley soon left Grimmauld Place with her tail between her legs.
When she had left, Harry had walked over to Sirius and thanked him for what he had done. That simple gesture, in turn, had led to their much-needed discussion.
"You know that I would do anything for you, right pup?" Sirius then asked.
For Harry, that question, along with the myriad emotions that he could see swirling about Sirius' eyes, made him think about how he had inadvertently been pushing the man away. He saw the concern and the love and the worry for his Godfather's own well-being moved aside so that he was the man's primary concern.
Harry hadn't meant to keep Sirius out while he was dealing with his grief, and he did appreciate that he had come to Hogwarts to be with him. But he had gotten so used to talking to Charlie and relying on him for that supporting role and hadn't been completely fair to the person who had taken him in and had finally given him a home.
It made him feel guilty, though he realized he wouldn't have done anything different. He just couldn't see another way to have dealt with everything that he had needed to – but he was going to make more of an effort with Sirius going forward.
"I do," Harry said. "And I appreciate it, Sirius. I know it hasn't seemed like that but really, I do."
Harry thought back over everything that Sirius had done for him: escaping Azkaban to protect him from Wormtail; risking Dementors – which caused him to shutter – and the Ministry to get to him; again risking the Ministry to help him with the Triwizard Tournament; to taking him in and finally giving him a home.
And he understood why he had turned to Charlie in the first place. It had been easier for him to talk with someone that had been through the same thing that he was trying to deal with, and it kind of helped that it wasn't face-to-face. It allowed him to be more honest than he might have otherwise been.
Though Harry now felt like he had to make it right with Sirius and thank the man for being the parent and family that he had always wanted, but because of his grief had not been able to fully appreciate.
"I'm sorry for being so distant," Harry said suddenly. The honesty and willingness to continue the conversation had caught Sirius off guard.
But Harry didn't let Sirius' reaction deter him from getting out what he needed to say.
"I didn't know how to talk to you about what I was going through. I didn't know how to talk to anyone," Harry finished.
Which wasn't entirely true, but he didn't know how to bring Charlie Weasley into this at the present time. Though, seeing as how he had Charlie's response about when would be good for him to come over he knew that needed to ask Sirius sooner or later.
So, he continued opening himself up to Sirius even if he didn't exactly know what to say.
"That was in the beginning, at least. I had never felt so lost in all of my life."
Sirius moved towards him.
"But Ron wrote to his brother, who had also lost someone, and we starting writing to each other."
Sirius' eyebrow rose slightly at that, but a look of relief was the predominant emotion that Harry could read off of his face.
"Oh?" He spoke, hoping that Harry would expand upon that.
"Charlie is really easy to talk to and he knew what I was going through. I didn't have to explain to him about what I was feeling and he gave me a lot of great advice. Actually, I was hoping that he could come over sometime over break. We have just been writing and, well, I thought it would be good idea to talk with him in person. If that's all right with you, of course?"
Sirius didn't know how he felt about that. On the one hand, he was happy that Harry was opening up to him about some of the things in his life. But on the other, he didn't like how Harry wasn't using him as the person that he relied on to help him through this. Deep down, Sirius knew that he was being selfish, and in the end he had to swallow his pride and just be glad that Harry had found someone to be there for him.
"Sure, pup. And I can see how you would rather talk to him here as opposed to the Burrow. Never know what else is going on there – or if Molly will approve!" Sirius tried to inject some humor and levity into their exchange.
Sirius' jest made Harry smile. It also caused Sirius' eyes to sparkle; for the first time in a while he felt hopeful about his relationship with Harry and the direction in which it was heading.
Though, Sirius did want to touch base with Harry's general sense of well-being and so chanced a more serious direction to conclude their little chat.
"I must make it clear though, Harry, I wouldn't be a good guardian if I didn't state this."
To his surprise, Harry simply nodded, as if he had known that this was coming.
"It's okay Sirius, say whatever you want."
"With Cedric, and now the prophecy being revealed – you are the most important person in my life – and I need you to know that I am here for whatever you need."
Harry nodded, feeling very grateful inside and keeping his eyes on the floor as he felt many things run through him. Sirius hadn't told him anything new; however, that didn't mean that it was a useless thing for him to say. It was good, Harry thought, to be reminded of what he did have going for him in his life. And the support of his Godfather was very important, even if he hadn't been ready to fully appreciate or make use of that fact yet.
"Because the most important thing to me is that you are taken care of, and I am glad that you have someone to talk to – though just know that I am always here as well," Sirius continued. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Harry who let himself be loved.
It was exactly what Harry had needed to hear and exactly when he had needed to hear it. Sometimes it was important to be reminded that someone gave you unconditional love and support.
But, like most things that involved Sirius, he didn't know when to quit and felt like he needed to be even more clear.
"And I just want you to know that – but don't feel you need to talk to me about things if you aren't comfortable with that. I want you to talk to me, but at the very least I need you to be comfortable talking with someone."
"I know," Harry said simply. He was thankful for his Godfather and for his understanding and he was committed to putting in more of an effort with the man now that he didn't feel like he was dead inside. Even if that did mean letting the man say things to make himself feel better.
At this point, there wasn't much for them to do but hug for a little while longer before Sirius excused himself. He had said that he needed to check on Kreacher about dinner and left Harry to train until the food was ready.
Christmas at the Burrow had been a day of mixed emotions for Harry. While it had been enjoyable in many ways, and Mrs. Weasley had managed to mostly keep her opinions about Sirius' parenting to herself, Harry had been simply unable to head out into the backyard. He wasn't sure what would have happened if he had visited the site where he had lost Cedric. So he remained inside and away from the windows - because he didn't even want to chance a glimpse of that dreadful field.
If the others realized how hard this could have been on Harry, they didn't say anything. Ron was the only person to ask Harry how he was holding up – but even then he didn't spend too much time on it. He had gotten used to Harry dictating the pace at which he was able to talk about Cedric, but wanted to let him know that he was thinking about how potentially hard this could have been on him. Ron had made huge strides in his sensitivity.
Harry had thanked him and said that he was okay but not okay at the same time. He described it as coming to terms with what had happened but not quite able to revisit the scene yet. He did manage to let it slip to him that he was thinking about seeing Cedric in the hospital and how his brother had offered to go with him when he was ready.
Harry had thanked Ron again for reaching out to Charlie – who was out in the shed spending some quality time with Arthur – before they moved on and started to talk about life in general.
Ron was still a little shaken up about news of the prophecy but had surprised Harry – though not really as Harry had a very good idea as to the sort of person that Ron was becoming with each passing day - by mentioning that he was starting to put together a list of books on defense and battle strategies.
The youngest Weasley had said that he had been writing to Hermione and that they both thought that they needed to start preparing now for the future and that they had meant what they had said about supporting Harry one-hundred percent. To Harry, the fact that his friends were sticking by his side despite everything horrible that seemed to follow him was the best present of all.
Harry had never expected to have such good people in his life, especially with what his childhood had been like at the Dursley residence.
And it wasn't just Sirius and Ron or Hermione that he had now. He had Charlie now as well and even though they mostly knew each other through pen and paper, it wasn't as awkward suddenly being face-to-face as Harry had thought it would be. True, he was a little self-conscious about some of the things that he had shared with Charlie that no one else knew – but the older Weasley had this way about him that put him at ease.
If anything, Harry was slightly taken aback with how attractive Charlie was now that he had the time to take all of him in. Charlie was the tallest Weasley child and his work with the dragons had given him strength that filled out his robes in all of the right places. Harry found it interesting how much he was noticing the way that Charlie looked now – but he didn't know if that was because Charlie was also gay or that he had gotten to know how great of a person he was or if that attractiveness meant that Harry was into him.
Because Charlie had this winning quality about him that just drew Harry in. Though, he had to admit that he wasn't ready for feelings for someone else though and their age difference was too great for him to take seriously at the moment. And then there was Cedric, which only added to the confused feelings in his chest.
It was just that Charlie now filled this unique role in his life that naturally engendered positive feelings towards him – and Harry was at a vulnerable stage in his life. Thankfully, even if Harry was unaware of the full complexities of this very adult exchange between them, Charlie was old enough to understand this. The only problem was that Charlie was immensely enjoying his interaction with the Potter Heir and hadn't felt conversation this stimulating since Geoff, which was something that he was slightly on edge about. Harry was quite a bit younger than any guy he had ever had feelings for.
But even with all of that going on and not knowing how to feel, both were looking forward to spending time with each other at Grimmauld Place. Both had been through so much that they were willing to put themselves in a slightly uncomfortable position if it meant that they could spend time with someone that knew and understood things that were really difficult to explain. Those that had gone through similar experiences were linked and had this bond that enabled an instant understanding.
Their interaction at the Burrow, although not as lengthy as either would have wanted, had led to a discussion that resulted in a date of sorts for the next day. And unbeknownst to either Harry or Charlie – because they were still a little unsure as to what the other was thinking – they were more or less thinking the same thing. Harry felt like he was working on his issues and cultivating a friendship, while Charlie was happy that he could share his knowledge and experience with someone. That fact that Charlie was also getting something out of this was just a plus in his eyes.
This friendship, one wrought almost entirely through words, was so different from anything that Harry had ever experienced. They knew a lot about each other but were not used to the physical mannerisms of the other person – or other things that came with physical interaction. Charlie was real to him and he brought out emotions in Harry that allowed him to feel like a person again, something which he had missed in the aftermath of last summer.
Charlie felt much the same that Harry did; only he was well aware that he needed to be careful around the young Gryffindor. He saw potential in the other boy that reminded him so much of Geoff that any attraction he may have had to Harry was amplified.
But it didn't stop him from coming over to Grimmauld Place the next day. Because while he wasn't getting the assurance and strength to take life by the horns again like Harry was, he would have been lying if he said that a part of him was not starting to come to life again as well; a part that had long been dormant, buried by pain, was now allowed to flourish again. So, in some ways, they were both helping each other – even if they weren't aware of all the specific ways in which it manifested.
Finally, the next day came and Charlie made the quick journey, using apparition to reach the park that was just outside of Grimmauld Place. Sirius had given him a small and discrete piece of paper during his time at the Burrow that informed the recipient of the secret address, which so far had only been given out to a handful on people. And Charlie had immediately disposed of the small, scribbled note quickly as instructed.
He walked up the steps to the house that looked so different from the others on the block and rang the doorbell.
Harry didn't let him stay there long, as he was anticipating his presence at the specified hour, and had opened the door with a little too much gusto.
"Hi Charlie!" he smiled.
"Hello, Harry," the tall redhead replied in a calmer manner.
Harry let him in and closed the door behind his guest before leading him through to the library. Charlie followed him, taking note again of how much shorter Harry was than him.
When they arrived, Harry motioned for Charlie to take a seat on the couch before joining him at the same moment that Kreacher appeared with a generous spread of tea and cookies that he had immediately pressed upon both of them.
Charlie thought the elf was interesting, for he hadn't really spent time around witches or wizards that had a house elf since it tended to be associated with obscene wealth. When Kreacher had left after both had dug into the sustenance, Harry took the opportunity to explain the atypical house-elf. He went on to detail just how unusual Kreacher had been in the beginning and how he was only just coming around with his relationship with Sirius, which had a very complex history.
Though, Kreacher had always seemed to treat him well – and had appeared especially interested in the talk about how Harry had stood against the Dark Lord in the cemetery. Harry thought it was a little creepy with how big the elf's eyes would get and the reverence he saw in them when Kreacher looked at him. And sometimes the elf acted like he was debating doing something, but Harry could only imagine that he wanted to say something and he was at a loss for what Kreacher was thinking. Still, he supposed that it was better than Dobby trying to protect him by inadvertently making him more likely to be killed.
When that conversation had ended, Charlie inquired as to how Harry was doing and was interested in how his meeting with McGonagall had gone. Both were fidgeting slightly, slowly getting comfortable with talking about what they were feeling instead of writing it down.
"So, how did your career session with old McGonagall go?"
Harry should have seen this question coming and prepared himself for it; however, his face fell just enough for Charlie to pick up that something was off about it. Before this meeting, Harry had been unsure of letting Charlie in on the prophecy and had decided that he would just let the reveal come naturally, should it happen.
What Harry didn't expect was how easily the truth came out of him, almost as if he should never have questioned not telling Charlie in the first place.
"I finally put everything together, Charlie. I know now why my life has been like it has."
Charlie was instantly hooked with Harry's response. He had been expecting a run-of-the-mill answer about which professions Harry was thinking about exploring and knew that he was about to get a very different answer.
He inched closer to Harry and put his arm on his shoulder for support in response to the look on Harry's face.
"What happened, Harry?"
"There's a prophecy," Harry said quickly.
"About me and Voldemort." Neither flinched and Charlie's eyes were locked onto Harry's.
"You can't tell anyone, Charlie – and I trust you not to – only a few people know. Ron and Hermione know because they are my friends and have been through everything and it just didn't seem fair to not tell them after everything."
Charlie felt pride for his brother in being such a good friend and his lips turned into a small smile when he thought of all of the books that Ron had been reading about strategy – even willingly studying like Percy had done – when in past years he had just shoved food in his mouth and lounged about over break.
Harry continued on with Dumbledore and all the rest that knew and why they knew it. He then shared the exact wording and filled him on some of what he knew about the phrases. For instance, how parseltongue could have been transferred to him and how his scar was the mark that he had been given designating him as the Dark Lord's equal.
"It will come down to me or him in the end – and with him back now, well, it could happen at any time."
Harry had resigned himself to this fate, and had looked at Charlie with an unsaid understanding that he wouldn't hold it against the man if this was all too much for him.
But Charlie was loyal, like most of his family, and moved even closer to Harry.
"I don't know that much about prophecies, Harry, to be completely honest. But I do know that it will not come down to just you against him. You will have us all behind you."
Harry didn't need to say thanks for the support; his eyes more than conveyed his thankfulness.
"Blimey, Harry, how are you doing with all of this after just find this all out after …" It was hard for Charlie to bring up Cedric now because he didn't want to push Harry over the edge. He decided to try again with less of a shocked voice and more of a supportive, caring manner.
"Quite Frankly, I am surprised and impressed that you are keeping it together after everything – I don't know if I could be that strong."
"I think you could be," Harry said quietly, looking down.
"For me, it is more like relief that I know why my life has been the way that it has. At least I know, though I am terrified of the future. I don't want more people to die and I don't want to let anyone down."
There was sadness in his eyes that showed his fear and the weight of this task that was ahead of him.
It pained Charlie to see someone so young with this great of a responsibility and he moved even closer to Harry and pulled him into a hug – not even thinking that he was breaking through Harry's personal space. All he wanted to do was comfort him in this moment.
Harry didn't mind at all and over the course of his talk with Charlie had felt vulnerable but not in a way that made him feel naked. He felt uneasy with taking comfort from someone that he felt had just joined his side not that long ago that could ultimately lead to a painful and horrible death.
But it felt so right and it made Harry feel better knowing that he had people that were not willing to let him face this by himself. So he pushed aside the doubt that came with feeling guilty over letting someone else make their own informed decision about whether to put themselves in harm's way and just let himself be hugged.
Harry breathed in the rugged scent that came from Charlie spending all of his time in the Romanian Countryside. However, after resting his head against the side of Charlie's neck and feeling the strong hands of Charlie rubbing comforting circles in his back – Harry was starting to feel things that he hadn't felt since Cedric.
It caused him to shift and become uncomfortable with this position and he pulled himself out of Charlie's embrace and moved to sit away from Charlie on one of the armchairs.
Their eyes met and Charlie saw the tears start to form and spill over Harry's cheeks.
Charlie didn't know what to think. Sure, he was a little uncomfortable with thoughts of how much younger Harry was than him – but he had grown up in the wizarding world where it was common for such large age differences to occur. But what made him really restless was how sudden his feelings for Harry had hit in.
Talking with him over the past months had been easier than Charlie had ever found talking with someone else to be and, while he knew that Harry was attractive and would only keep growing into a handsome wizard, he was caught off guard with his desire for Harry.
His personality and charm – even with the weight of a potentially damning prophecy – just drew Charlie in. The closeness that they had shared only moments before on the couch had only intensified those feelings.
Seeing Harry abruptly get up and move, and then the look in his eyes nearly broke his heart and he hoped that he hadn't undone any of the good that talking with Harry over the past months had brought.
"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Harry. It wasn't my intention at all. There is just something about you that comforts me and I just went with what I was feeling – it has been so long since I felt that with Geoff and I wanted to comfort you."
He started to chew on his lip, hoping that Harry would forgive him. Though, for what he wasn't sure, it had been a long time since he had had these feelings for anyone. The situation had just escalated so quickly that it had been impossible for him to stop and think about developing an interest in Harry Potter as more than a friend.
Knowing what Charlie was thinking and how he was seemingly thinking romantic feelings for him helped Harry not to feel as out of sorts as he had been. Much of this was so confusing to him so soon after Cedric and with Charlie being seven years older than he was.
"You did nothing wrong, Charlie. I feel comfortable with you as well. You make me feel safe and taken care of."
Charlie let go of the breath that he had been holding in relief.
"But I need a friend right now and I want you to be that friend. I'm not sure about anything other than that right now – there is just so much going on that it is hard to keep it all straight in my head. Is that unfair?"
Charlie shook his head. "No, Harry. If I can help in any way, I will. Besides, you are also helping me – so there's that." He smiled to disperse the tension caused by the myriad emotions and difficulties of Harry's crazy life.
They talked about non-important things for the rest of the afternoon. Charlie shared his experience with OWLs and how he thought that Harry would pass them with flying colors.
Towards the end of the afternoon, their conversation moved towards Geoff again and Charlie was able to share how he had dealt with certain things. Mostly, he focused on how he had come to terms with his death and how he had never really had a successful dating experience since then.
Right before dinner, he did ask if Harry had given any thought to seeing Cedric before the break ended.
"I want to see him; at least, I know I should – but I am scared. I wonder if I waited too long and if it will just send me back and with everything else I don't know if I can afford to be in that position."
"I think the longer that you put it off at this point, the harder it will be. I think it would be healthy for you to see him – and I can take you if you want. Or I'm sure that Sirius has offered?"
Harry nodded his head and let Charlie's words sink in. He knew that he needed to get this over with, but it was all so overwhelming to deal with at once. And he almost couldn't even process Charlie and how he was starting to notice him in that way, and offering to take him to see his boyfriend that had had his soul removed from his body.
But then he thought that Charlie had offered and even with what he had just throught, it would have been the easiest to go with Charlie because he knew he wouldn't have to explain what he was thinking. That was something that he was worried about with asking Sirius to go along. What if he broke down? Would Sirius get all the intricate and complex thoughts that he would have?
Though, a part of Harry didn't want to deal with Cedric right now. He was too afraid that going there would mean that he was saying goodbye; that he was moving on.
However, the more that he thought about it, the more he was sure that he would never be ready for this and that he might as well just get it over with.
"Do you really think it will help?"
"Yes, though it will be hard. I won't lie about that, but I think it's important that you see him. He was important to you and I know you were important to him."
"Okay," Harry whispered. "I'll go. Can you go with me?" Harry asked.
"Of course," he said just as Sirius entered to inform them that dinner was ready.
Sirius saw the serious and contemplative, almost sad looks on both of their faces.
"Is everything all right?" he asked concernedly.
"I want to go see Cedric," Harry told him, thinking about his earlier conversation with Sirius. As much as it would have been easier not to include him with this, he knew it would make him feel better and he really did want to put in an effort with his Godfather.
Sirius was about to respond when Harry interrupted him.
"Will you take us tomorrow?" he asked, acknowledging Charlie as well.
"Sure, pup," he replied softly, knowing that Harry was making a solid effort when it appeared that Charlie really was doing wonders for him.
"Thanks, to the both of you," Harry replied as Kreacher popped into the library and reminded them that the food was getting cold.
I like writing these scenes because they are so complex and you have to read between the lines and can't put in everything. It's one of the beauties of writing. I hope you liked this and can promise that the next few chapters will see more action and not deal with his emotions as much. I really think there is a strong base now to focus on bringing the rest of the plot into focus.
Anyways, hope you get to enjoy today (and everyday) with your family or those you hold dear!