CHAPTER 5: I'M CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

***PETER***

Gwen's mouth drops open as she recognizes herself on the screen. I can only imagine the shock she must be experiencing right now. It's probably nothing compared to what I'm feeling at the moment, though.

"That's...that's…" Gwen can't even speak.

"I know, right?" Stark says. "I dunno where they got scans of you guys' faces, but damn, the CGI job is amazing." Gwen and I both glare at him. "What? I can't be the only one thinkin' it. You, um…" He snaps his fingers until he remembers Barton's name. "Clint, tell me you agree with me. There's no way this shit's real."

"I'm afraid this 'shit,'" says Coulson as he comes back into the room, complete with air quotes, "is in fact real." He looks at me in particular. "And it's more real for you than for the others, isn't it, Peter?"

"I...um...what?" How can Coulson possibly know what's going on in my head? Unless he's telepathic or something? Wouldn't surprise me.

"It's all right," Coulson says, sitting down next to Barton. "You've never had any kind of therapy, have you? Well, think of this as group therapy. It's a safe space. You can tell us what's troubling you."

I look at everyone else, seeing them look back at me with concern on all their faces. Even Stark, as much as he's trying to look detached and neutral, can't resist that human impulse.

"I haven't told anyone about this," I say.

"So there is something wrong, then," Coulson says. "I promise, I won't think you're crazy or lying or anything. In my line of work, you have to have some level of mental illness in order to succeed anyway."

I sigh and drop my head into my hands. Then I take another look at the screen. The movie's still playing, and the graduation is over. The Spider-Man who looks exactly like me, right down to the light stubble on his face, is looking at Gwen - not Sarah Reagan - while she gathers with her own family, and behind them is the ghost of her father, a specter only Spider-Man can see.

It's supposed to be Sarah's father, but he looks different. A little younger, a little more handsome. And somehow, I know he's Gwen's real father.

"I'm gonna tell the truth here," I say. "But I don't even believe what I'm seein' myself."

"Go on," Coulson says.

I sigh again. "Okay. I've been dreaming that I was Spider-Man. And that you were Sarah Reagan, Gwen."

"I was Sarah Reagan?" Gwen asks. "Huh. That doesn't sound so bad."

"But in my dream, it's always the scene where Sarah dies." I look at Gwen, seeing horror dawn in her eyes. "And because it's you in the dream instead of Sarah...you're the one who dies instead. Every time I try to stop it, but I can't."

"You...what…?" Gwen is lost for words.

Coulson nods gravely. "And now those dreams aren't just dreams anymore, are they, Peter? Seeing the real record of what happened has reawakened your memories."

"Are you telling me this is real?" I ask, gesturing at the screen. "It can't be. It's just a movie."

Coulson brings his hands together. "I'm gonna have to tell you kids a little story. A few years ago, me and my team, we encountered an insane man. An assassin. He called himself Deadpool, and for a very long time, we couldn't take him down. It didn't help that he could heal like nothing we'd ever seen before.

"Of course, eventually, we caught up to him. How and when isn't important. It's what happened after we caught him that you'll really want to hear." Coulson looks at the screen. "The strange thing about Deadpool was, he was convinced he was living in a comic book, and that everyone he talked to was just a reader. He thought he was breaking the fourth wall all the time, as it were."

"So...he was schizo?" Stark asks.

"It was more than that, though," Coulson says. "My team scanned his brain, and we confirmed that he was forever caught between two universes, mentally speaking. Our home world - that is, the home world for myself and my team - and this world, where we are now."

"You're not from this world?" Barton asks, laughing a bit. "So, what, you guys are aliens?"

"No, no, we're all human here," Coulson says with a quick grin. "We eventually found our way to this universe, to Deadpool's world, and after we brought him here, his symptoms diminished a great deal. It was like being back home helped him recover his grip on reality."

"Symptoms of what?" Stark asks. "Deadpool Syndrome?"

"That's exactly what Skye called it," Coulson says. "It's not exactly something you'd find in the DSM, but we were able to pinpoint a sort of symptom list. Continuous breaks from reality, remembering memories you don't even have, that sort of thing.

"Also, with Deadpool's return home, he was able to remember why he was in our world to begin with. You see, in our world, the Avengers, like what you see in the movies, they're real. Iron Man, Captain America, the Hulk, Thor...they all exist." Coulson stops as Barton and I begin laughing inappropriately loudly. "What? Did I make a joke? I usually don't mean to, but sometimes it just happens."

"You mean to tell me," Barton says between snorts of laughter, "that Thor Odinsson is supposed to be some kind of Avenger? I mean, he's cool, but not that cool."

"I'm glad you made that leap of logic," Coulson says. "The Avengers do exist...but very recently, they all vanished without a trace. As did Spider-Man, who for whatever reason never affiliated with the Avengers, though my boss at SHIELD was always interested in taking him on. And now, we've found them here, in a world where they don't belong."

"So you're saying I'm Spider-Man," I say slowly, "and Gwen is Sarah Reagan-"

"No," Coulson interrupts. "Gwen is Gwen. Sarah Reagan is entirely fictional, a creation of this world to mask your true memories. Clearly, it failed, however, because you were still able to remember the truth, at least in your dreams. Also, while we're on the subject, Clint is Hawkeye, and Tony is Iron Man."

"No, I'm not," Barton and Stark say simultaneously.

"That's not possible," Stark adds. "How can it be? We're teenagers. Hawkeye and Iron Man are...well...men."

"We've determined that, for some reason, when you were brought to this world, you were all made into teenagers," Coulson says. "Why, we still have no idea. But the fact remains, someone or something brought you to this alternate universe, for reasons unknown, and wiped all your memories so you were, effectively, made normal." He looks at me again. "And now you've not only started recovering your memories, Peter, but you've also started rediscovering your powers."

"That brings up another hypothesis of ours," says a female voice - not Skye's. This girl has an English accent, and is all white as opposed to half-Asian. "Jemma Simmons," she says. "I'm the team's resident biologist."

"Someone tell me which of the Avengers have actual superpowers, as opposed to high-tech toys or unusual weapons proficiency," Coulson says. "No disrespect to you, Clint, Tony."

"How can we be offended by that?" Stark asks, rolling his eyes. "If I'm really Iron Man without his memories, I wouldn't even remember all the sweet stuff I'd invented, would I?"

Coulson nods. "Right. But, again, the Avengers with superpowers…?"

"Thor, of course," I say, ticking his name off on my finger. "Hulk, Captain America...that's it, right?"

"Exactly," says Simmons. "You're not the only one remembering what's really happened, Mr. Parker. It seems that those with superpowers...whatever wiped their memories didn't take as well as for those without. That said, though, it is still possible to trigger recall for non-gifted individuals."

"How can you be sure?" Gwen asks.

"We've already done it once," Simmons says. "Just once, though. And we're not supposed to talk about it yet, are we, boss?"

Coulson shakes his head. "We need to keep that particular experiment going as long as possible. It's painful, I know."

"But can we attempt it again?" Simmons asks. Her words, taken by themselves, might suggest that she's excited to do another experiment. But her voice is careful not to betray any emotion.

"That's what these three are here for," Coulson says. "We'll see how quickly we can reawaken their memories. Starting with you, Gwen, since we've got your movie on right now anyway. I should warn you, though - it's gonna be a huge shock to your system. You might end up in a catatonic state, even. Because...well, to put it mildly, what you'll see on the screen if you choose to continue, you'll never be able to unsee."

Gwen puts her hand over her mouth. I know she's seen the movie before - not the version we're watching right now, but the one that I saw in theaters. She must know what's coming.

"I'll do it," she says, her jaw stiffening. "If I have these memories you're talkin' about, go ahead and unlock them."

Now it's my turn to look at Gwen with concern - and maybe a little bit of fear - instead of the other way around. "Are you sure about this?"

"Don't you need some kind of parental consent for this?" Stark asks. "Legally speaking, of course. I mean, you're not a minor, are you?"

"My parents would never consent to this, I bet," Gwen says. "But I feel like I have no choice anyway."

"That's not true," Coulson says. "You can absolutely elect not to go forward. And besides, it's possible that since you're not gifted, your memories will take a little more work to coax out of your unconscious than simply watching a movie."

"Don't you mean 'subconscious?'" Skye asks.

"I think he does mean 'unconscious,'" says Simmons.

"I'm gonna do it," Gwen says. "That's it. No more questions. Let's just get it over with."

Coulson opens his mouth again, then nods silently instead. He then gets up and goes to the back of the room, where he picks up a remote control and uses it to navigate to the one scene to which we all knew he was going to jump.

The scene that's been in my nightmares for weeks.

The scene that's sure to be in Gwen's nightmares too after this moment.

I watch as Gwen stares at the screen, her facial expressions disturbingly mirroring those of her on-screen counterpart. But mostly the helpless shock when movie-Gwen is falling to her death.

At the moment when it actually happens, here-and-now-Gwen actually gasps and slumps forward in her seat, very slowly. For a second, my heart stops - is she dead for real too?

Then she raises her head, tears falling silently from her eyes.

I'm the first one to offer her a hug. She stiffens at first, then her arms wrap around me. I can feel her breath on my neck, the heat coming in spurts as she breathes raggedly through her sobs.

"I...I...I remember." Gwen's voice is reduced to a breathy whisper.

"What do you remember?" I ask.

Gwen blinks, her eyes still glistening and wet. "I remember...I remember dying."

At this point, she gets up and leaves the room, trying her hardest to make sure we can't hear her crying. It's not working, though. I wait a few seconds before following her out the door and down the hall. Along the way, I pass by a little round porthole and see that the plane's already in the air. I hadn't even noticed we'd taken off.

Gwen is sitting under another porthole, her shoulders shaking. "It's all right," I say, my eyes welling up with tears as well. "I'm here for you."

"You...you say that now, but you were there for me when I died too."

"I know." I hold Gwen tightly, using the back of my hand to wipe the tears from her face. "I know."

There are really no words to express the pain we both feel. The memories she's recovered, the memories that have been creeping into my dreams...how any human being can live with them is beyond me. The moment is made even more strange by my feelings for Gwen. I now fully understand that what I've got isn't just some schoolboy puppy-love crush. In my sort-of past life, and in this one, I genuinely love her, and seeing her in this terrible state is really doing a number on my own emotions.

But having her in my arms feels so natural and perfect, no matter what the circumstances.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," says Coulson's voice. He's standing a few feet away from us, with everyone else who had been in the media room hanging back a little more. "At least your reaction wasn't as violent as we expected."

Gwen pulls out of my grasp and stands up. As I follow suit, she says, "That's...good to know."

I smother a chuckle. I can easily see Gwen using humor as a defense mechanism. She must have inherited it from her dad. Another memory of mine eerily paralleling the Amazing Spider-Man movies involves me trying to warn her dad about the Lizard, only for him to start cracking jokes about how he's not the mayor of Tokyo.

And another memory of mine resurfaces right now, in which I see Gwen's dad dying after getting slashed up by said Lizard. Coulson didn't show us the first Amazing Spider-Man movie, but I can guess that there's a version of that with me and Gwen and Gwen's dad in there as characters.

"What are we gonna do now?" I ask. "You said we were goin' to New York, but what's the point of that if you've already started us gettin' our memories back?"

"Not all of your memories are back," Coulson says. "The movies help, but they can't call back everything. The best thing we've found is to take you back to where you came from, the way we did with Deadpool."

Hiro bursts out of another room - probably the kitchen, because Wasabi comes out right after him with popcorn in hand. "We're about to go through the gate!" Hiro yells.

"Gate? What gate?" asks Stark.

Skye cracks a smile and rubs her hands together. "Oh, you're gonna love this," she says. "Everyone look out the window...now!"

We all gather around the portholes to watch. Within seconds, a huge black ring, just big enough for the plane to pass through it, comes into view. It's floating in the air, and in its center is a shining light.

"What, that leads to the other universe you were talkin' about?" asks Barton.

"And you're sayin' that when we're there, we'll get our lost memories back?" Stark asks.

Coulson shakes his head. "You don't have to be back home to recover your memories. Like we said, though, it does help if you're back home."

The plane goes through the gate, and for a second, the light shines through the windows. I'm forced to close our eyes and shield them - even then, the light nearly blinds me. When it's all said and done, though, we're able to look out the portholes again and see the gate behind us now. The weather outside has changed as well - we were passing through sunny skies before, but now we're surrounded by fluffy white clouds.

Coulson's phone rings, and he consults the screen. "I have to take this," he says. "So you kids probably won't see me again until we land in New York, and…" He takes the call before his phone can stop ringing. "What've you got for me, Hunter? No, we just came back through the gate…" His voice trails off as he leaves us, heading up towards the cockpit.

Coming from the other end of the hallway is Baymax, squeezing his inflated bulk through the double doors. "I heard someone crying," he says. "Is everyone all right?"

Tadashi comes up behind Baymax. "This isn't a random self-activating thing," he says. "He really did hear someone crying. He's got better ears than most humans."

Skye looks from Gwen to Baymax. "I dunno about you, but I think Gwen could do with a hug, big guy."

Baymax turns to Gwen and inclines his head slightly. "Scan complete," he says. "You are showing signs of emotional distress. I believe Skye is right. You do need a hug, don't you?" He walks up to Gwen on his stubby little legs, then wraps one arm around her while using his free hand to pat her head. "Don't worry. It'll be all right. There, there."

I can't help but laugh. "That's gotta be the most adorable thing I've ever seen."

"It's what he'd say to me if he ever came up to me when I was feelin' down," Hiro says.

"You, feelin' down?" Stark asks. "I don't think that's even possible."

"You'd be surprised," Skye says.

"It's true," says Baymax. "As a pubescent young man, Hiro can be quite prone to mood swings from time to time." I walk up and join Baymax and Gwen in their hug. "Group therapy," he says. "That's a very good idea. Would anyone else like to join in?"

I look at the others. Barton shrugs, then comes around to Gwen's other side. Seconds later, Stark follows him. Hiro and Skye join in as well.

"Someone feeling cold again?" Honey asks, walking up behind Tadashi. "Oh, wait, no. He doesn't even have his heater on."

"That reminds me, does anyone want the heater?" Baymax asks.

"No thanks," Gwen says. "I think we're good."

"Does that mean you are satisfied with your care?" Baymax asks.

Gwen looks up at me, then at Hiro. "Should I say yes?"

"I cannot deactivate until you are satisfied with your care," Baymax says.

Gwen sighs, then moves out of the group hug. "Okay," she says.

Baymax just stands there, blinking slowly. "It's like Millionaire with the 'final answer' thing," Tadashi says. "You have to say the exact words to get him to deactivate."

Gwen nods. "Okay. I'm satisfied with my care."

The red box zips out from behind Tadashi and Honey. Baymax gives a wave, then he steps into the box, which closes up on him. The box then leaves the hallway and passes through the double doors after Tadashi holds them open.

"Yeah, well…" Wasabi scratches the back of his neck, almost dropping his popcorn as he does so. "Who's hungry?"