Chapter 2. Sorry for spamming your emails. What's important is that I do this now, so I am actually motivated to finish this. Anyway, this and the next two chapters were previously written, and then uploaded (before ffn decided that I violated some rules and removed it but I think that's my fault. Still...It was up here for quite a while before they took action hence my confusion and upset-ness).

Willow learns something...and nothing at all...

The footsteps were light through the corridor. If one had not been paying attention, then they wouldn't have heard anything at all. The breathing was the next thing heard – a soft, steady rhythm that was also almost inaudible. It was echoed by the soft swishing of silk.

Despite all this, it still seemed to take years for the noisemaker to appear around the corner.

The figure's step were light, her walk slow, her path drifting from side-to-side down the hall, as if she were drunk, or lost. Her gaze was fixed to her feet, more interested in where she walked than in her immediate surroundings.

Or maybe it was just because she didn't want to meet the eyes of anyone who might happen to walk down the hall at the same time.

However, it just so happened, that she walked past a door just as it opened. Of course, she didn't realise that someone had exited the room, since she wasn't paying attention. The man who exited made a sound of surprise. "Oh. Excuse me," he began, then cut himself off abruptly.

The woman looked up.

Goddess of everything bright and beautiful. Why? Why are you doing this to me?

I swallowed. "Lord Thom," I said politely. "It is I should be excusing myself. I was not paying attention to what was around me." I bowed my head, not wanting to say anything more. I waited patiently for him to respond, but wasn't sure if he actually did say anything at all. After a long silence I finally moved past him and on my way.

"Wait."

A hand caught my elbow.

I found myself unable to stop Thom as he turned me around. For a moment I found myself pinned by his gaze. "Yes?" I asked. Realising that my voice had gone quavery, I looked down, clearing my throat.

"I wanted to say...sorry."

A soft laugh rose in my throat. "Sorry? Is that all you have to say, Thom?" I looked back at him, not caring that he saw the tears. Not caring that he saw just how far he'd pushed me. "You said sorry already Thom, I'm sure, and that did about as much as it's doing now. What did you want Thom? To prove that you were the greatest wizard of all time? Well, you did that. Congratulations. The whole of Tortall knows of your power."

"Willow-"

"Don't. Call me that. Just don't. Not now. Not yet." My breath hitched before I continued on. "So, Lord Thom. You raised my traitor cousin from the grave. You alienated the whole of the Court, and Jon, and me as well. The price you pay for power certainly is large, isn't it? So I ask you this, Master Lord Thom of Trebond: What are you going to do now? You didn't think of that, did you?" I stopped, my chest heaving, and flushed. It was only then that I felt the dampness of my cheeks. Somewhere along the way I'd started crying. Trembling, I reached for a handkerchief.

Thom reached for me. His hand was halfway to my face when he froze, and clenched his fingers. "I-I'm sorry," he muttered, not seeming to be aware that he was repeating himself. "I'm sorry."

One move, and that was all I needed. One move, and I would go to him.

I had to go. Now.

At the realisation I stepped back, ignoring the tremor that ran through my body. My nails bit into my palms as I clenched my fists, the pain clearing my head – a little, but not a lot. Thom followed my movement, and for a moment our eyes caught and held.

"Do not let fear stop you from following your heart. If there is something there that is good and wholesome, then chase it, for it will triumph over everything else in the end."

"Stop!"

It wasn't until the word cut through the silence that I realised I'd spoken aloud. I flushed, looking away from Thom's now-confused gaze.

"Willow? Is something wrong? Are you feeling well?"

I shouldn't have looked up, but I did. After all, it was the polite thing to do, considering someone had asked me a question.

Thom had advanced again. His hand was outstretched, and despite the complicated situation our friendship – whatever-ship – was in, there was genuine concern on his face.

I turned away, taking deep gulping breaths. "I'm fine," I finally managed. "Completely and utterly fine, thank you."

"Are you sure?" Thom blinked, then flushed. "I mean, I am probably the last person in Tortall you would want to speak with, but I will ask that of you nonetheless."

"I doubt it – there are bandits in Tortall, after all." At my soft words I went quiet, then laughed softly, on the verge of tears again. Where in the name of all the gods had humour come from?

Thom seemed just as or even more surprised than I was. After another uncertain moment he took another step forward, then another. I stood where I was, too busy struggling with myself, my emotions, to run. All too soon he was right in front of me again. Somehow, I sensed rather than saw him lift a shaking hand towards my face.

One move.

"My lord? I finished the notes that you wanted."

The hand dropped. Thom took a step back, turning to look over his shoulder. What he saw made him say a most colourful word under his breath. The moment I saw the reason for his curse, I wanted to copy him.

Instead, I too turned, nodding politely at the interruption. "Cousin."

"Your Highness. What brings you here, of all places?" Duke Roger asked of me.

"I was thinking. I find that sometimes when I let my feet wander as well as my mind, I can come to conclusions a lot more easily," I replied, my voice carefully neutral.

Except, this time, a wandering path had not helped my wandering mind find the answers. It had only made me get more lost, and confused.

Mentally shaking the thoughts from my head, I turned back to Thom. "My lord, it was nice speaking with you," I said politely. "Until the next time." How in the name of the Goddess could I stand here and have the strength to do this, when two minutes ago I could barely speak a word?

"Your Highness." Thom bowed, a lord to a Princess. "I look forward to that time."

I only nodded.

Then Thom turned away and re-entered his own quarters, where my 'lovely' cousin awaited him with whatever manuscript they were studying now.

That had been almost...okay, I realised. Once we had started talking, I realised I still felt comfortable enough around him to speak to him like that. The more I continued to consider it, the more I began to realise that, without Duke Roger, we could've become something more.

Could we still become something more?

At the thought, I again covered my ears, knowing even as I did so that it wouldn't serve to do anything except make me look slightly crazy. Trembling, I finally turned away from Thom's door, and walked off down the hallway.

I had a lot to think about – but that didn't mean I wanted to think about it.

Hope that was to everyone's satisfaction. More angst. I'm so cruel.

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