They discuss the future of their relationship
"Jean, we need to talk."
"Is this what I think this is? Are you breaking up with me? Because I didn't go through hell for you, just to get dumped a few months later!"
"No. What?'"
"Okay, what is it?"
"We need to talk about the future of our relationship. Where are we going with this?"
"Well, I'm going to the school of comptables in Paris, and you're going to the Congo."
"And that's the problem."
"How is that a problem?"
"Paris… Congo… How is this going to work, Jean?"
"We could do long distance?"
"Letters only? Maybe a telegram or a visit every few years?"
"We'll work something out."
"How can you be so sure?"
"I can't. But we love each other so we will."
When you lose a letter and then find it #Shonagon #PillowBook #MyYearOfMemes
Something fell off of the desk and Julien picked it up. It was the letter from Pere Jean from months ago. Strange. We must have forgotten to open it. He ripped the thick envelope apart and unfolded the letter.
'Dear Julien,
If you are reading this, it is because I am dead. Or because Americans are imbeciles. Either way I have some advice for you. First of all, go follow your dreams. If you still want to be a missionary in the Congo, that's wonderful. Go and do it, no matter what your mother thinks. You'll do something great. Secondly, if you ever find another boy you love as much as Jean Kippelstein, you hold onto him tight. Yes, I saw you looked at him. You weren't being very discreet. There is nothing wrong with being a homosexuel, Julien. You are one of God's creations, and He thinks you are so wonderful and brave for embracing this part of yourself that the rest of the world isn't ready to face yet. So if you find somebody you love, hold onto him. Tell him you love him and say it loud. And if you ever see the Jewish boys again, tell them that je suis desole.'
Julean might be going the way of Calzona
"Should I even go to the Congo?"
"Of course! Why wouldn't you?"
"Because you won't be there."
"I don't want to be the one holding you back from your dreams."
"Well, how will we work?"
"After I finish my studies, I could work down in the Congo."
"That's four years, Jean."
"I could come down to the Congo with you. Screw comptable school!"
"No, I can't let you do that. Comptable school is your dream."
"Well, what then?"
A montage of relationship strugs
"God, Julien, how many times are we going to have this conversation? We'll make it work!" Jean was yelling now, because he was angry and frustrated and so deeply heartbroken at Julien's lack of confidence in their relationship.
"This isn't a conversation! Every time I bring this up, you say the same things. 'We'll make it work. It will work. Magically, all of our problems will be over.' Jean, wake up. This is not going to work! Maybe if we were on the same continent or you could get a job in the Congo or if school wasn't so long, then, we could think about it, but that isn't happening, so we are not going to work!"
"So what, this is it? You're breaking up with me?"
"No!"
"Well what the hell are we supposed to do?"
Julien sunk into his chair slowly, devastated. "What are we supposed to do?" he echoed softly. "Jean, I don't want to stop you from chasing your dream and I don't want to give up mine. If a long distance relationship isn't going to work…"
"We're over. Or at least we will be soon." Jean sunk into his chair as well.
"I want you to be happy. You can get a nice cushy job as a comptable and a nice golden haired wife and have three nice children. You can be happy without me, Jean."
"And you can give up your nice cushy life with your nice cushy copain and go become a sub-Saharan celibate," Jean joked. Neither of them were in the mood for it, though.
"I guess we'll end it once I leave."
"I guess." They sat in silence for a moment.
"Julien?"
"Yes?"
"Take care of yourself."
"You too."
"You'll go to Africa and be happy, and I'll stay here and be happy."