This chapter came out of nowhere, but that's okay because I like it. Mwa ha ha ha ha. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Chapter 13

"So help me when I get my hands on that brat I'm going to fry him." Roy growled dangerously at the door. "This is beyond immature, even for him."

Archer rolled his eyes and shifted his arm slightly, not that he had much room to move. Mustang squirmed slightly and the Lieutenant Colonel managed to free his arm from the space between Mustang's back and the wall. "Than why did you provoke the boy in the first place? He's famous for that short temper of his."

Roy snorted and nearly laughed. "I can not believe you of all people just cracked a short joke on Fullmetal."

"It felt appropriate." Archer shrugged, or attempted to anyway.

"It probably was." Roy sighed and gripped his fists. "I'm still going to rip him apart once we get out of here."

Archer agreed with the Colonel whole-heartedly. This damned situation was absolutely absurd and it was all the fault of two idiot alchemists. It was your fairly standard procedure, really: Flame mocks Fullmetal, Fullmetal gets angry, Flame smirks, Archer walks by at the wrong moment, Fullmetal shoves both Flame and Archer into closet and alchemically seals the door shut. It would not have been so bad had Fullmetal not stolen Mustang's alchemy gloves or if the closet wasn't a broom closet. Two full grown men shoved into a space of two and a half square feet was not comfortable by any stretch of the imagination.

Of course someone would hear the pounding and let them out eventually, Archer knew. But being the pessimist that he was, Archer feared Kimblee might find them first. Archer and Mustang flush together in a closet. Yes, if fate loved him as much as Archer believed it did, Kimblee would most definitely find them first. Archer prayed he could run fast enough to get on a train out of central before that little episode started.

"Are you sure you don't have a pen or something?" Roy grumbled and did his best to stay as far away from Archer as possible, but it just wasn't working. There was too little space and he had no choice but to have at least some part of his body touching the other man's at all times. Fullmetal was dead when Roy got out of this closet. "I can't make a spark but I can probably open the door if I could write a circle."

"No, I told you I was using my pen when I was finishing that report in the hallway." Archer huffed. "Which means my pen is with my report sprawled out in the middle of the floor."

"Dammit." Roy banged on the door again and listened. "Still no sign of anyone outside. That or this door is thicker than it looks and we just can't hear anything."

"This is a fairly secluded hallway." Archer yanked Mustang's State Alchemist watch out of his pocket to check the time. Mustang frowned at him but otherwise didn't say anything. Its not like Mustang could reach it from the position they were standing. "We've got about twenty minutes until lunch. It's our best bet."

"Assuming Fullmetal didn't hide the door with alchemy." Roy sighed and rubbed his eyes. Knowing Fullmetal, he probably didn't even realize he had shoved two people into the room instead of one. If he head, even if it was Archer, there was a chance Fullmetal would have just locked the door and run. "I wouldn't put it past him."

"How efficient of him." Archer pushed the watch back into the pocket and leant against the wall. He huffed irritably. "So, now what?"

"We hope someone goes to lunch early."

"Brilliant."

Tucker sighed into the air above before shaking his head. The large man pouted pathetically and tried to inch closer to the wall. There was a very ferocious beast growling at him and he feared for his life. "I'm telling you, I haven't seen him today. Archer missed his appointment to see the chimera and check up on the watches."

"But where the hell could he be?" Kimblee put his hands on his waist and cocked his head, still snarling. Crimson had been waiting for the other officer for hours before giving up and looking for him. The most logical place for the man to be was with Tucker, but he wasn't here! "Archer left the office around 11:30 to turn in some report and then never came back. It's almost three now!"

"I'm sure he just got distracted by work or something." Tucker shifted towards his workbench where his chalk was sitting. Best to be armed in case Kimblee went off.

"That better be all, he promised we were going out today after work." Kimblee huffed and kicked the chimera cage hard enough to rattle the bars. The little monster closest to the side whimpered and dived into a far corner. Kimblee still couldn't figure out how Archer's favorite was the biggest coward. Maybe he thought it was cute or something. "I'm going to go look for him."

"Good luck." Tucker waved. He hoped wherever Archer was he had a good excuse for disappearing considering how pissed off Kimblee looked. He sighed. Those two had been doing so well with each other for the past week, too. Since Mustang was lying low (or according to Archer anyway), the two Lieutenant Colonels had almost morphed back to their selves from a month or so ago when they were practically good friends.

Kimblee's efforts on wooing the other man, however, had not gone so well. Archer didn't like the flowers (Kimblee still wasn't sure why he'd tried that one…), didn't like Kimblee snuggling, and absolutely refused to humor the man with a kiss here or there. Archer was adamant in making it clear he only wanted to be friends. Kimblee had made some snide remark about Archer being as bad as a woman that got him shot at. The Crimson alchemist had decided it was worth it and just gave it a rest. He'd try again the next time he saw Archer.

If he ever saw the other man again.

By four o'clock, Kimblee had not seen hide nor hair of his favorite Lieutenant Colonel. The man wasn't in his office, in Mustang's office, with Major Armstrong, or even in the shooting range. Kimblee had double checked back with Tucker to find the man actually angry at being interrupted for once and was thrown out. So, Kimblee tried the mess hall and the shooting range again. Still no signs of Archer. Where else could he possibly be? Kimblee shoved his hands into his pockets as he stomped down the latest empty hallway he was going to search. Where on earth did he go?

Kimblee was about turn around and head back towards the man's office to double check that he wasn't just hidden behind a desk or something as a joke, when he heard the pounding. The Crimson Alchemist stopped to stare at the wall and held his ear close to it. There was definitely a pounding noise coming through and a muffled voice shouting. Crossing his fingers, Kimblee called out "Archer?"

"Permission to speak freely, sir."

"Granted."

"I'm shooting your subordinate in the kneecaps the first chance I get, sir."

"Granted."

Archer smacked his head against the wall. Four hours. He'd been trapped in a closet with Colonel Roy Mustang for four hours. The first hour they had actually talked about their training unit and just about the only thing they both agreed upon was that they were good troops to be proud of. Afterwards, Archer decided he just didn't care and having nothing better to do, gave his report to the Colonel on their progress and the training regiment for next week right there in the closet instead of tomorrow as scheduled. Hour three was silent save for the occasional pounding on the door in hopes someone could hear them. Now going on hour five, they were both regaining their anger and the irritation was starting to set in full force.

"Can't you scoot over a bit?"

"I'm sorry, sir. But there's no where to scoot." Archer sighed but tried shifting regardless. It was truly pointless. Archer stretched his neck out to work on some of the kinks since that was near the only thing he could move freely.

"We need to move or something, both of my legs are falling asleep." Roy mumbled and looked disdainfully at the door.

"With all due respect, it's already hot enough in here without us moving." Archer worked an arm up to undo the collar of his uniform jacket in an attempt to get a tiny bit of air flow. "At least there's a vent above us."

"Shame it's too small to fit either of us."

"Agreed." Archer paused in shaking his collar trying to pull in air. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"Footsteps." Archer reached over and banged a fist on the door. When the footfalls paused, Archer started banging even harder and began shouting. "Hey! Over here!"

Roy joined in on the other side and hit the wall just as hard and continued to shout by his side. They were just about to give up, when they heard a muffled "Archer?"

"In here!" Archer called as loud as he could but couldn't help the niggling voice in the back of his head that the voice he heard was familiar. But he was too desperate to get out to care. "We're trapped!"

"Is there a door on the other side? I'm looking at a wall."

"No! It's a closet." Roy answered their savior. "Go get an alchemist or a sledge hammer."

"I've got better."

"Oh shit." Archer grabbed Mustang and pulled him back from the door and held him tight against the wall. He suddenly remembered his relationship with fate and where he'd heard that voice.

"Wha-" Roy was cut off when he saw the wall start changing color and he recognized the alchemy. "Kimblee!"

Archer closed his eyes when the wall exploded and grunted when the back-wave slammed him further into Mustang. One thing lead to another and he lost his balance, ironically grabbing Mustang's coat on instinct. Together they both hit the ground with a thud and Archer tried to groan, but something was blocking the sound.

Kimblee smirked as the dust cleared and he looked at his handy work. He couldn't wait to hear how Archer had gotten trapped behind a wall in a closet. It was sure to be a good laugh. However, when the dust fully cleared and Kimblee got a good look at the other man, he realized Archer hadn't been alone in that closet. Kimblee's eyes narrowed and his face formed a nasty snarl. Roy Mustang was on top of Archer and he was kissing him.