Watching Oh Edo Rocket. Highly Distracted. Akai x Blue Woman OTP. Her name is gorgeous too, but I won't spoil it. All I can say is despite the sad ending, episodes 19 and 20 have made me a very, very happy fan. hugs Akai and Blue Woman together

But back to FMA- another guest character has appeared. Since I went off into AU land a few chapters back I went -what the heck? A few of you should be happy. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

Chapter 17

There was something very wrong in the air.

Kimblee could feel it and the ominous feeling creeping its way down his spine was making him giddy in anticipation. His heel tapped against the floor as he sat on the edge of Archer's desk. While he was feeling something good coming, Archer was just getting annoyed. Kimblee's hint? Archer was staring at him with a particularly icy glare. Seems he was still upset of having to explain why he needed a new uniform after their little scuffle in the alley.

Trying to account for the rounds he left in the alley hadn't exactly been a cake-walk either. It sort of ticked Kimblee off that the high and good mood they'd both had immediately afterwards had to drown the next Monday when they got back to work and the consequences came back. This is why Kimblee liked war; there were no consequences and reports that needed to be faked to get out of arrests and inquiries. Liore had better fall to pieces quickly if it knew what was good for it. Kimblee hoped that's what that inner feeling was; a sign war was coming.

Because it certainly had nothing to do with Kimblee's love life. The blood-thirsty man sighed inwardly. He'd managed to go completely full circle to back where he started when he and Archer were happy drinking buddies. Only now with more lewd jokes here and there. However, those were starting to roll off. Kimblee was happy Archer was being more buddy-buddy so to speak; he was even joking around and teasing more. However, Archer was also getting better at just brushing off Kimblee's advances as a joke as well. Kimblee tapped his foot harder in his unconscious frustration. Just what did it take to get that man's blood pumping anyway?

It wasn't like he was having all that luck with women. Or anyone for that matter. He'd never seen Archer flirt with anyone really. Sure his jealous mind had told him so and he'd acted like it, but in reality Archer didn't seem to have any romantic affections of any type. Kimblee was his only suitor. So why then did the man not return his affections? It's not like he could date one of those stupid chimera! Kimblee almost gasped. Or could he? Were Archer and Tucker having an affair behind Kimblee's back!?

"If you have so much extra energy, Kimblee." Archer spoke slowly as the man continued to make the clacking noise with his boot against the floor. Archer needed to get the man out of his office; he was far too restless. "Why not go to the gym? Go work it out of your system or something."

"Are you saying I'm fat?" Kimblee smirked and leant over the desk, his jealous imagination quelled for the moment.

"If I said yes would you go?" Archer mumbled into his paperwork. Really, Kimblee had made leaps and bounds when it came to pleasant company, but he still managed to dig under the Lieutenant Colonel's skin and fester there.

"Depends," Kimblee tilted his head. "Does thin and muscular do it for you? Because I'm thin as a rail and I still barely getting anything out of you. Or does a little chub get you moving?"

Archer choked in shock. Kimblee wasn't one to stray from those sort of comments, but he usually had the decency to keep it to the bedroom where Archer could ignore him and not worry about anyone else hearing. "Keep your voice down and it's none of your business what 'does it' for me."

"I'd like to think it is." Kimblee chuckled and set his head on the back of his hands. "I am trying to sleep with you."

"Kim-" Archer snarled but was cut off by the sound of a stack of papers smacking and spreading out over the floor. Archer hadn't looked to see who it was yet, but he prayed desperately that it was just some sergeant that he could threaten into silence. Archer's eyes slowly looked up and the urge to just go shoot himself returned. "Why hello, Colonel Mustang. What can I do for you?"

It was no secret that Roy had been avoiding Archer to avoid any more confusion about their non-existent relationship. He didn't want to believe Hawkeye's story about rumors of them and making out, but one couldn't be too careful. And you could never tell when that woman was joking! Curse women! Roy swallowed before quickly gathering up the dropped papers. It figured the one time he had to go see Archer to run some ideas about their training unit from the Führer that he'd overhear something of that nature. "I had some papers from Führer Bradley that we needed to look over, but I can come back later."

"Nonsense, Kimblee has been helping with the unit in your absence. He's welcome to hear about it as well." Archer waved Kimblee off of his desk and into the vacant seat next to him. The best way to fight embarrassment is to act like it never happened in the first place. "I'm sure we can all get along for the next hour or so for the good of our unit."

"Of course," Roy agreed reluctantly and took a seat next to the bomb happy alchemist. The man was glaring daggers in as close to a literal sense as possible towards the Flame Alchemist and Roy figured the next hour was going to be very, very long.

"Get over yourself, Kimblee." Archer hummed as he walked down the hallway rereading the briefs from earlier in the day. Kimblee was sulking as per usual after spending time with Mustang. The Colonel was highly professional and he and Archer made it through the entire hour in complete polite terms and civil language. Kimblee was bored stiff with nothing to do but that's still no excuse to sulk in this fashion. "It's to be expected after all those 'rumors' that were spread."

Kimblee lifted an eyebrow and walked up closer to Archer to look over his shoulder. He was having a hard time believing that report was as interesting as Archer made it look. "What rumors?"

"Hawkeye apparently got a little revenge on her superior by telling the Colonel that everyone thinks he and I are fooling around with each other." Archer chuckled. He didn't normally listen to the rumor mill, but Colonel's team was laughing so loudly to each other about the joke that he couldn't help overhearing. Archer twitched as he realized what he just told Kimblee. Praying once again that the damage was minimal, Archer turned to look at the Crimson Alchemist's reaction. "Kimblee?"

"How many people know about that rumor?"

Archer thought Kimblee's voice was far too controlled considering what he just let slip so casually. Maybe Kimblee was weaseling his way in past Archer's defenses better than he thought. "Just his staff. They're very well aware it's a joke."

"Good. Let's go get something to eat. I'm starved."

Archer watched as Kimblee shoved his hands into his pockets and kept walking. He didn't explode, didn't threaten death on the Colonel, didn't get angry, didn't anything. Was he sick or something? "Are you alright?"

Kimblee turned around and smiled when he saw the slightly concerned face. "What, worried about me?"

"Concerned for the world more like it." Archer walked over and checked the Kimblee's forehead with the back of his hand. The alchemist had to have a fever. "You're handling this way far too well to be in your right mind."

"Or maybe I'm feeling more confident in myself." Kimblee smirked and took hold of Archer's wrist and pulled it away, but kept a loose hold on it. "Or I realized it's safer to get bitter and jealous when you're not around."

"And here I thought you had either gotten more mature or were deathly sick."

"I love how your first thought was to go for illness."

"Yes, well." Archer stopped short and looked around Kimblee to see a sergeant running towards them. He took his hand back from Kimblee and straightened himself so it didn't look like he had just been flirting in the hallway (had he really been flirting back?). "Is there a problem?"

"Lieutenant Colonel Archer!" The young lad saluted his superior before taking a breath. "There's been an intruder sighted in the building. We're on alert, sir!"

"An intruder?" Kimblee asked the soldier. He looked familiar, but Kimblee couldn't place him. Maybe he worked in the office or something. "What kind of intruder?"

"I'm not sure, sir." The sergeant continued. "No one's seen him, but we know he's taken out at least four guards so far to get in without making any noise. There's also a possibility there's more than one. I was told to report to my superior officer, sir."

"Good, Sergeant." Archer nodded. "Head back to the office and see if anyone stayed late and inform them. I'm going to see the Colonel and find out our orders."

"Sir!"

So the sergeant was part of their office. Kimblee nodded to himself; he was getting slightly better about recognizing which men were Archer's and which weren't. The Crimson Alchemist had a feeling Archer wouldn't appreciate his own units getting used as artillery. Kimblee frowned slightly, it was a pain having to actually keep track of the other soldiers. Maybe he should just make Archer's men wear badges or something. Or a different color uniform. "So we're reporting to Mustang then?"

"Don't sound so excited." Archer sighed. Why did this stuff keep happening to him? "And yes, but not just yet."

"Hmm?"

"We're checking on Tucker and the chimera first. The last thing we need is for the intruder to stumble upon them after all this work to keep them a secret." Archer turned on his heels with every intention to head straight for the labs. No one was taking his chimera from him, especially not when he barely had any time for them lately with Kimblee suffering from mood swings for the past week or so. He had worked hard to get the Crimson Alchemist and Tucker under his command and he was going to spring them on Liore no matter what. Intruders be damned. "Let's go."

"Right." Kimblee nodded and looked around him. All of the officers were slowly coming to alert as the message was spread around the compound. Whoever this intruder was, they were probably good if no one had found them yet. "We should probably hurry so we aren't questioned for not going to Mustang immediately."

"Well, well. You can put personally feelings aside when it's important." Archer smiled over his shoulder. "It's nice to see you with such a level head, Kimblee..." Archer trailed off slowly as his eyes tried to focus on what he was seeing.

"And I'd like to see him with no head!"

Kimblee barely dodged the knife aimed at his throat; his only cue the widening and shocked look that had slowly formed over Archer's face. He rolled left and turned quickly to face his attacker, he could see Archer backing up as well. Before he could stand fully up, he had to block a hit here and kick his opponent's strangely long arm away. He frowned once recognition sunk in, then smirked. "Marta. Is that any way to greet a friend?"