Author Note: It feels like an age. I wish I could have written before now, and even this has been a struggle. I will get back into it, eventually. This may not be the best chapter in the world, but it's hard. Having so long away has been extra challenging, then with some personal things going on. Hopefully it won't be long until I am knocking out a chapter a day again. We can only hope!

Jane marched into Maura's office like she knew exactly what she was going to say. When she approached her desk, every thought disappeared from her mind. She swallowed the lump that threatened to surface. Maura sat back against her chair, her eyes closed and her lips pressed together. Her hands clasped across her stomach. Despite the peaceful posture, a small crease between her eyebrows gave away the true nature of Maura's feelings.

Jane sat down. "Going to pretend I'm not here?"

"I'm doing nothing of the sort," Maura said, opening her eyes. She sat upright. "I was meditating."

"Why?"

"I needed to find some peace."

"Did it work?"

Maura sighed. "No. My son is still probably on his way to Vermont, my girlfriend isn't talking to me."

"I'm talking to you," Jane said, frowning. "I'm sat right here, talking."

"You'd rather talk about the case."

"Yes, I'd rather talk about the case," she said, resting her elbows against her knees. "But I'm not gonna ignore you. I needed space, and you gave it to me."

"Was it long enough?"

"I dunno." She sat back again. "Where are we at with Albert Smithson?"

"You tell me. I believe you're aware of the relationship between Albert and his sister."

"The Mayor's closing up. He told us she exists, but he won't tell us anything else."

"I might be able to help with that," Maura said. She stood up and searched through a small box on the cabinet. She returned to her desk with a small bag, which she pushed across the desk toward Jane. "We found this inside Albert's back pocket. It's a card for a bar in Cambridge."

"I thought we'd been given all the evidence," Jane said, turning the plastic bag over. "Why was this kept aside?"

"We didn't realise it was there." Maura leaned across the desk, and rested her hand against Jane's. "I've been distracted lately. Kent found it while I was in bed."

Tugging her hand away, Jane tucked it under the side of her thigh. Maura narrowed her eyes, sitting back.

"Not enough time," she said, smiling weakly.

"When you asked me to be honest with you, I had this overwhelming need to do the opposite."

"Pardon?" Maura rested her hand against the desk, her eyebrows tugged together.

"I've never been in a long term relationship, not like this, not a normal one."

"I wouldn't have defined either of us as normal."

"I've been in relationships, you know that. But this one is different. I've always known it would be different. You're Maura. I've dated people, and I suppose you could call it a relationship. But I didn't know how different it would be."

"How different what would be?"

"Being with you. Being with someone I love. It's made me realise how much I didn't love Casey, not like I love you. I didn't know it could feel this way."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

Jane sighed. "Sometimes, you don't have to say anything."

"Oh."

"I mean; the way we are together isn't something I've been entirely comfortable with from the beginning."

"Having to be open about your sexuality has its challenges."

"It's not that."

"It isn't?"

"When I talk, you listen, and when you talk, I listen."

"That's to be expected."

"Is it?" Jane brushed her hair back from her face. "I want to do this right. Maybe that's why I hesitated. Maybe I didn't know how to handle the intensity of how I feel about you. Listening to you has made me realise what makes a relationship survive."

"What conclusion did you reach?"

"This is what we need. Time together, talking, listening. I think I've been too busy scared of what might happen, especially since Luke showed up, that sometimes I forget to do that. You needed time and I pushed you. You weren't ready to hear what I thought about Gregory and I pushed you again."

"Jane, I don't blame you..."

"Let me finish. Please."

"Okay."

"I make mistakes because this isn't what I'm used to. It doesn't come natural to me to put your needs ahead of my own. I wish it did, because I'd want to do that almost every time. But it's something I have to work on."

"You're not alone in that."

"No." She stood up, hooking her thumbs in her belt loops. "I think we're still learning how to be a pair, how to communicate the way we should. Then Luke arrived and everything got thrown up in the air."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise." She walked around the desk and perched on the corner, reaching for Maura's hands. "I know I was pissed at first, but I've gotten used to it. I've heard everything you've said. Neither of us expected that curve ball, but it's here and we have to deal with it. Which is why I'm trying to do this differently to how I want to."

Maura stared down at their hands, she rested her palm against the back of Jane's hand and stroked it slowly along her skin. "How would you like to do it?"

"Run in the other direction."

"Oh."

Shrugging, Jane reclaimed her hands, resting them over her knees. "But I won't. I don't want to do that. I'm fighting against that need every day. You can push me, and put up barriers. That's your decision. But the harder we push against each other, the harder it's gonna be to recover what we built."

A heavy weight settled over Maura's heart. She stared into Jane's eyes, desperate to feel safe, to feel comfortable, but there was something in their conversation that unsettled her.

"You say that like it's all or nothing."

"I don't mean to make it sound that way." Jane stood up and turned away, her eyes trailed through the glass window into the examination room where Kent was working on a body. She sighed and turned back to Maura. "This isn't an ultimatum. I just needed you to know that I need you to try, to fight against everything your mind wants you to do, and talk to me."

"I'm trying." Maura stood up, her chest heaved. "I don't know how to talk about that part of my life."

"I know." Jane leaned forward, not quite touching Maura. "But maybe that's the reason why you should."

"Does this mean I can hug you?"

Lowering her gaze, Jane shook her head. "No."

"Oh."

She stepped away. "The more physical contact we have, the more likely it is to lead to something more."

"I really don't see why that's such a bad thing."

Feeling the distance, Maura dropped her hand to her side, her heart ached. The last she wanted was to feel more apart, more separate, than they ever had.

"I feel like we're hiding behind it," Jane said, reaching forward. She trailed her fingertip along Maura's wrist. A bare fraction of contact that sent a shiver down Maura's spine. "It's holding us up and that's not going to work forever. We're in that stage where I just want to be with you, to hold you in my arms and make love to you. I sound like some cheesy song, which I hate. But it's how I feel right now. All I want is you. But we've got too much other stuff to deal with, I don't think we should complicate matters."

Swallowing, Maura fought the pain in her throat. She returned to her desk and cleared her throat. Shuffling a pile of paper in front of her, she tried to focus on it. She read the words "bond premium" six times.

"I'll leave you to it," Jane said, picking up the evidence wallet. "Hopefully we can find something here."

x

"I'm Detective Rizzoli, this is Detective…Rizzoli," Jane said, narrowing her eyes slightly. She was still getting used to calling her brother that. She could see the twitch in the man's eyes as he skimmed them both. "We've got a few questions."

"The owner ain't here right now," the man said, his dark eyes closed, and he tugged his eyebrows together. "I suggest you come back at seven."

"Funnily enough, we don't wanna speak to the owner," Jane said, folding her arms. "There's a chance we may need to eventually, but for now it's enough to speak to employees."

He cleared his throat and stood a little taller. His black suit was barely creased, his tie fastened perfectly. The man glanced at Frankie again, his eyes landed on the mess of a tie around his neck.

Jane stepped across Frankie, getting a little too close to the man. "What can you tell me about Albert Smithson?"

"Albert who?"

"Smithson. The Mayor's son."

"I don't know the Mayor's son." His eyes widened. "Didn't he die?"

"You read the papers," Frankie said, rolling his eyes. He held out his cell and a picture of Albert. "You ever see this man here?"

"No." He barely glanced at the photo and turned back to Jane. "Are we done? I'm busy."

"No, we're not done. Look again. Properly."

"You've no way to force me to look at the photograph."

"Really?" Jane rolled her eyes. "Ever heard of obstruction of justice?"

"Look, Lady," he said. "I'm not here to get in anybody's business. We're a private place, we don't go round sharing information about our clients."

"Private place?" Frankie scoffed and took the evidence wallet from his pocket. "This is one of your business cards, correct?"

"Yes."

"It was found on the body of Albert Smithson, if you don't know him, someone else might. We're looking for a woman, similar age to Albert, she might look like him. We don't have a name, but we do know that she's an important person in this case."

"We have several women who work here."

"How many of them look like Albert?" Jane asked.

"Two, I suppose."

"We're gonna need their names, and contact information."

x

A strong scent of ammonia filled Jane's nostrils, she blinked a couple of times and groaned. She hated visiting the beaten up apartment buildings, she hated seeing the deprivation she generally managed to avoid. She'd already seen one baby with a snotty nose and rosy cheeks. She'd already felt guilty for living somewhere half decent while he crawled about in hallways covered in rat droppings.

"She'd better be in this time," Jane said. "I can't keep coming back here."

"You didn't even come last time."

"Luckily."

"Yeah, thanks for that," Frankie said. "At least we know this one is probably our girl. Lisa looks nothing like the Smithsons and she doesn't even know who the Mayor is."

The apartment door opened. A tall, lanky teenager stared at her, his eyes travelled down her body. Jane felt exposed despite wearing a relatively conservative suit. Frankie reached across the threshold and smacked him gently across the head.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"No perving on the detective," Frankie said.

"You're a detective?" His mouth dropped open.

"Your mom home?"

He shrugged and turned back into the apartment, walking off down the hallway. Jane edged inside. The boy had dark brown hair, his nose was large, but he looked a little like Albert. He also reminded her of Luke. Jane sighed. The walls were neatly painted but the corners were chipped and mold was growing through. Despite the problems with Luke's home life, he still had privilege banging down his door. This child and his mother lived in squalor.

"The kid of a rich politician shouldn't be living like this," Jane muttered.

A tall woman, with blonde hair and soft eyes appeared from a doorway. The teenager skulked around behind her. Jane reached a hand out to her.

"I'm Jane Rizzoli, this is Frankie. We're detectives with Boston Homicide."

"Homicide?" She stared at Jane for a moment, then covered her mouth, her eyes filled instantly with tears. "Is this about Alby?"

"I'm very sorry," Jane said, folding her hands across her front.

"How? When?"

The teenager narrowed his eyes. "What's going on?"

"Go to your room."

"Not until you tell me what's happening."

"Later." She stared at him, her eyes fixed, her voice harsh. "Go."

Slouching off in the opposite direction, the woman invited them into the lounge. Jane perched on the edge of a dirty old couch, Frankie beside her.

"Sarah," Jane said, leaning forward. "We've got some questions to ask you about Albert, about your family."

She lowered her gaze. "You know who I am."

"We do." Frankie reached out and handed her the business card. "We found this in Albert's pocket. Someone he worked with said he saw you and him together. At least, we assume it was you."

"When? I haven't seen him in weeks."

"He died a few weeks ago."

"I haven't seen him since he met me outside of work a few weeks back."

"Outside of work? Where exactly?"

"There's this streetlamp, it's dark and difficult to see but we were both shaken by what we'd found out."

"That you're related?" She nodded. "What happened after you saw him outside work?"

"We, we…" Rubbing at her eyes, she sighed. "We went down an alley beside the club and we slept together."

"Even though you knew you were related?" Frankie asked, abruptly.

"Frankie!" Jane said, hitting him on the arm. She glared at him then turned back to Sarah. "I'm sorry."

"I know it looks bad," she said. "I know nobody would understand. But I fell in love with him. I didn't know who he was at first."

"When did you find out exactly?"

"A week before he…before I last saw him." She lowered her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I can't do this."

"It's okay." Jane rested a hand against her shoulder. "We've got some more questions, but they can wait."

x

Tossing pillows from the bed, Maura paused when Jane entered the room. She hadn't even heard the door go. She clutched a pillow against her front. The last few days had left her feeling somewhat more fragile than she would have liked.

"I didn't hear you come in."

"I didn't knock," Jane said. "Maybe I should have."

"You don't need to knock."

Picking up a pillow, Jane proceeded to toss it onto the floor. Maura dropped the one in her arms onto the pile and pulled back the top of the bedsheets. Jane moved some of the pillows back across the bed.

Sitting down, Maura smiled at Jane. "Did you have a good day?"

"Successful, I suppose," Jane said, sitting beside her. "We spoke to Sarah, Albert's sister."

Maura reached her hand across the gap, Jane rested her own over it. "Oh?"

Jane shrugged. "She loved him."

"As a sister?" Jane shook her head. Her eyebrows raised, Maura stared at Jane. "Oh."

"If it wasn't so creepy, it'd be really sad."

"I suppose, considering they didn't grow up together, it's not all that different from meeting someone who isn't related to you."

Jane stared at her and edged a little closer. "No, Maura. It's creepy."

"Okay, it's a little creepy," Maura said.

Leaning back against her pillow, Maura stared at Jane. She had things she wanted to say, questions to ask, but mostly, she was just really glad that Jane was there at all.

"We're breaking your rule," Maura said.

Shrugging, Jane trailed her fingers across Maura's. "She has a kid."

"Sarah?"

"Yes. He's about the same age as Luke." Gripping Maura's hand tightly, Jane cleared her throat. "I miss him."

"Me too."

"How are you?" Jane asked, slipping an arm across Maura's back, she leaned against her shoulder. "Since he left. I've been too busy worrying about our relationship I almost forgot to worry about you."

"I feel," Maura said, pushing away the desire to cry. "I feel like we've gone back before Luke arrived, except now you know about him."

"We'll find a way to get him back here."

"Will we?" Maura sat up, Jane's arm dropped from across her shoulder. "I know my lawyer is looking into the situation, but I don't know how we will ever get him back. Not the way I'd like him back."

Resting her hand over Maura's, Jane kissed her on the cheek. "We're gonna try, okay?"

"Okay."

A knock at the door pulled Maura's attention. She sprang out of bed and reached for her robe. Jane followed close behind.

"Who's that at this hour?"

"If I had to guess, it would be me," Jane said. "But since I'm here, it's obviously not."

Frowning, Maura laughed. "That makes no sense."

"Maybe it doesn't to you."

Reaching for Jane's fingers, Maura gripped them tightly. Together they walked down the stairs. For a moment, Maura's heart ached, a feeling of dread filled her. Her mother once told her that a late night visitor was not a good thing. Some years later she came to realise that it was either someone interested in staying the night, or something much more akin to what her mother had suggested. Since Jane was already beside her, her heart raced.

"Jane, I'm scared."

"What of?" Jane asked. "It's just somebody at the door. It's probably Frankie come to drag me back to the office."

"What if something bad happened?"

Narrowing her eyes, Jane shook her head. "Don't do the fearing the worst thing. That's not you."

"I don't know what's me anymore," Maura said.

"Open the door and find out." Jane gripped her hand. "It won't change the outcome to stand here expecting something bad."

Another knock.

Maura dropped Jane's hand and reached for the door. She pushed down on the handle and pulled it open. Carefully, the gap grew wider until a boy with the sandy brown hair and smile she would remember anywhere appeared.

"Luke?"

"Hi, Mom."

"What are you doing here?" Maura asked. "What did I say to you about travelling by bus?"

"I didn't get a bus," he said, shrugging. "I got a cab."

"All the way from Vermont?"

"Used Dad's Uber account."

"Lucas!"

"He won't miss a few hundred dollars."

"That doesn't make it alright."

"Then I'll go straight to bed without any dinner," he said. "And no television until at least the morning."

The laughter beside her made Maura growl, she stared at Jane, then her lips curved and her own laughter surfaced. "Don't encourage him."

"He's your genius kid," Jane said.