November 13, 2005

8:00 p.m.

"Have you ever seriously considered the impracticality of this entire concept?"

I let my eyes roll sideways to look at the person sitting next to me. Their eyes were fixed on the television, a very contemplative look plastered on their pudgy face.

"I mean, seriously. How did they get that faucet thing inside the Peach pit in the first place?"

I focused back on the screen. I hadn't really even been watching the movie. I had been daydreaming, or more like having a day-nightmare...I kept thinking about what Dougie was doing right that very minute, and who he was doing it with.

"When did the bugs put clothes on? How did they find sweaters with that many sleeves?"

I glanced up at the clock on the wall near the door. Sick. I felt like I had been slumped down on that lumpy couch forever but it had only been a few hours. I should just go to sleep. I thought.

"And the aunts sunk in the ocean, right? They get out of their car in New York covered in sea weed and dripping wet. Does that mean I'm supposed to believe that they just drove under the water all the way across the ocean?"

I sighed loudly; "Yes, Dan, that is exactly what you are supposed to do." I answered calmly. Danny looked at me.

"It's crazy."

"It's a movie."

"But is it too much to ask for them to be realistic?"

"Maybe it's like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, eh?"

"No." Danny shook his head disapprovingly. I widened my eyes at the glowing screen.

"I'd be willing to believe it."

Danny ignored me and gestured at the screen; "I mean thousands of children are going to watch this movie, and then they're going to think they can drive across the ocean under water and not drown."

"Please, Dannyboy, no one's that stupid." I reached sideways into the bowl of popcorn beside me. When Danny didn't immediately respond, I shifted my eyes to him and stopped with the popcorn poised at my lips. He was glaring at the TV. I stifled a laugh, "No way."

"Shut up." He grumbled and stood up. I struggled from my position enveloped in the cushions and followed him into the kitchen.

"You really believed you could drive across the ocean?" I asked, a large stupid smile on my face. Danny stood on tiptoe and reached into a cupboard pulling down a glass. He ignored me and sided past to the fridge. I put my hands on my hips, "Daniel." I said sternly. Danny turned around and gave me the evilest glare I had ever seen.

"Don't be a retard, Charbear." He growled, "James and the Giant Peach just came out."

"Okay so why the sudden IMS?" I folded my arms across my chest and leaned back against the counter. Danny set the bottle of orange juice on the counter beside his still empty glass and sighed.

"You know that fucking book A Little Princess?" He asked, his eyebrows rose half up his forehead so seriously that my barely suppressible laugh struggled up my throat and came out as a hiccup.

"'scuse me." I smiled. Danny rolled his eyes at me but continued.

"Okay so, you know how the little girl tells the maid lady that her doll comes to life whenever she leaves the room?" He looked very perplexed, so I nodded quickly. Then it hit me what exactly he had childishly believed.

"Oh my poor, poor Dannyboy." I covered my mouth and tried not to laugh. Danny shrugged.

"I shut my door and stomped my feet so it would think I was leaving, then I would open the door really fast." He acted out the little scene, as if I couldn't get the full picture without movements. Danny shook his head, "Stupid bear was always just sitting there. I did that for two hours straight one day."

"And it didn't occur to you that maybe it was just a toy after all?"

"Nope." Danny poured some juice into his glass, "I just figured he was really fast."

I took a few steps toward Danny and snatched the dirty beanie from his head. He barely got out a protest before I clapped a hand over his mouth. After assuring me he wouldn't curse me out, I moved my hand. I gave him a very serious look and slid his hat onto my head. Then I ruffled his hair, "Maybe he was dead."

November 14, 2005

12:15 p.m.

Ring

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." I groaned, rolling over and glancing at the clock beside my bed.

Ring

"Ahhh, mother fucker." I reached blindly sideways and picked up my phone; "Ciao, come siete? Perche state denominandovelo bastardo ugly?"

(Hello, how are you? Why are you calling me you ugly bastard?)

"Funny how you can still speak perfect Italian at midnight." The easily recognizable voice on the other end responded.

"L''Oh, Douglas, siete unici e lo spirito innegabile e sia hysterical che estremamente attraente. Perdonimi un momento mentre vomito." I laid back and let out a low sigh.

(Oh, Douglas, you''re unique and undeniable wit is both hysterical and extremely attractive. Forgive me one moment while I vomit.)

"Ugh, you know what your bilingualness does to me." Dougie made a rather embarrassing groaning sound. I stifled a laugh.

"Pervertito."

(Pervert)

"Ah ha, you know it, sugar."

"Aww, you called me sugar. I love sugar."

"Me too. I also love frosting, and Lucky Charms."

"So, besides to discuss things that cause the obvious jelly roll I'm developing, why did you call me?"

"You are so not developing a jelly roll."

"I am. And please don't stare at my fat."

"Wendy, shut the fuck up, you're not even close to fat. There isn't even any fat on your body. You're fatless. In fact if anything you're too skinny, you're like paper."

"Thank you, that does wonders for my self esteem."

"Self esteem is over rated."

"Peter Pan, I need to sleep before I wither away to nothing."

"Call me Peter Pan in Italian and I'll bring you some fairy dust."

"What the hell am I going to do with fairy dust?"

"You can come to Never Neverland and plunder my pirate ship."

"Oh for fuck's sake."

"Now in Italian."

"L''Oh nell''interesse della scopata."

"Oh yea." Another throaty groan sounded from his end of the line. I felt myself blush and shifted with slight embarrassment despite my pitch black surroundings. Although I would never openly admit to it, I enjoyed "teasing" him.

"Ew, control yourself. I'm still slightly uncorrupted over here and I'd like to stay that way."

"Let me come over and I'll fix that for you."

I paused, unsure whether or not to take him seriously. Finally, still unsure, I cleared my throat, "Have you been drinking?"

"No. I just miss you. It's been hours."

"Pugsley, why are you calling?"

"Do I need a reason?"

"It's past midnight, sooo, yes." I waited patiently for a few minutes while he must have been thinking. Then I smiled as he laughed lightly and answered.

"You're my best friend, Charlotte. I wuvvles you."

I rolled my eyes, because even though I hated him for only saying best friend, I loved him all the same, "Apriro la finestra mia."

(I'll open my window.)

Click

Dial tone

November 20, 2005

Nearly one week passed from watching James and The Giant Peach with Danny and then sleeping with a very evasive and horny Dougie. That's right, evasive and horny. Particularly obnoxious combination. He kept making insinuative comments and when I asked him about his date he shrugged and told me it was good. Like I said, evasive.

I was very unlike Dougie to simply shrug off an opportunity to talk about Rosalie. He didn't realize the very thought of her made me physically ill. I've always been a terrific actor.

But I put it out of my mind, and over that week things were pretty much normal. Or as normal as things ever were with Dougie.

And so came the 20th. The 20th was more than just another day, the 20th is my birthday. And Dougie's. It's always been one of the coolest things about our friendship; having the same birthday. And we always spent our birthday together, sitting at one of our houses watching every John Hughes movie we could get our hands on and feasting on Snack Packs and frozen Lasagna. It didn't matter how many parties were being held or who wanted to do what with us in celebration; me and Dougie always stuck with our tradition.

"So Dan, what did you get me?" I asked sweetly as I slid onto the bench beside Danny. It was lunch time and our little group of homies had gathered in the usual spot, at the usual table in the usual corner of the reeking cafeteria. Danny glared at me over the spoon hanging out of his mouth.

"Why would I get you anything?"

"Because you love me and I'm pretty."

"You have the sweetest delusions."

I let my jaw fall open and glanced, horrified, around the table. Everyone just smiled back at me. I turned to Dougie on my other side for some kind of defense, but he was staring off into space ignoring both our conversation and his French fries. I nudged him.

"Doug?"

"Hmm?"

"What's with the lack of back having?" I asked as I pulled the aluminum top off of my Jell-O cup. He blinked at me slowly then glanced at our friend Tom across the table.

"Don't look at me, I don't speak her language." He held up his hands and leaned back. Dougie looked back at me.

"Sorry." Was all he said. I stopped mid bite of my desert and stared at him.

"Uh, it's cool." Then I looked at Danny. He looked just as confused by Dougie's lack of sarcastic enthusiasm as I was. Dougie was never void of some kind of witty remark or wise-assery. The table was silent for a few minutes, everyone picking at their food awkwardly. I chewed thoughtfully on my Jell-O and stared at Dougie. When he finally looked at me, I fluttered my eyelashes at him, making him crack a small smile.

"So are you two having your usual junk food and crappy movie binge tonight?" Tom asked, his arm draped casually over the shoulders of his girlfriend and my best female friend, Leah.

"Don't diss the Breakfast Club, biznatch. Judd Nelson is hardcore." I pointed my spoon at him, "And of course we are, right Dougs?"

Dougie was too hesitant about confirming. Everyone's heads turned slowly to him, all of us slightly unnerved by his strange mood. Finally he answered, "Um, I actually have to go somewhere." He wouldn't look at me.

No one said anything. I stared down into my cup and tried desperately to still the nervous and hurt butterflies that had begun savagely swirling around in my stomach and chest, "Yea? Where?"

"My parents want to take me out for dinner."

"Oh--"

"You know, turning eighteen is a big deal I guess--"

"Well if your parents want you to go with them then it's fine--"

"I mean its not that I don't want to hang out--"

"You can't go and disappoint your parentals--"

"We can get together tomorrow too--"

"Parents are pretty special things, yea, and eighteen is a big deal--"

"If you want to--"

"It's cool-"

"It's cool?"

"Uh..." I hesitated, really wanting him to come with me, then I set my Jell-O down and folded my hands in my lap, "Yea, it's cool. Don't worry about it, we'll just do something tomorrow then." I gave him the best smile I could without actually looking at him. Dougie's hand found its way onto my back.

"Thanks, Charoo." His voice had gone back to the normal happy--go--lucky overly--excited Dougie Poynter we all knew, and so I tried not to feel especially bitter at him for ditching our tradition.

"Oh, shit, I gotta go. I have a test next period and I don't have a fucking clue what's going on in there." Dougie got up suddenly, as if he hadn't just disrupted a birthday theme almost ten years running. He planted a quick kiss to my head and waved to the rest of the gang then he walked off out of the room. I just stared at the table top and avoided making eye contact with anyone at the table. They all knew how much our birthday meant to me and how much it had always meant to Dougie. His parents knew that we did this every year, what was their problem? I tried to shove it out of my mind. How depressing.

"Charlotte?" Leah called from across the table. I looked up slowly. She looked like she was feeling sorry for me. I hate it when people look at me like they feel sorry for me. You can feel sorry for me all you want, just don't look at me like you do.

"Yes?"

"There's a party tonight. You should come with us. It'll be fun." She said carefully, like she was afraid I might bite her, "You know, since you're not busy anymore."

I frowned and opened my mouth to say something bitter and sarcastic but Tom cut me off.

"Come on, it'll take your mind off things." He covered for his girlfriend, "Besides, you shouldn't sit by yourself on your eighteenth birthday." He gave me puppy dog eyes and jutted out his lower lip. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Well I suppose I can make an appearance." I sighed, "Since I'm not busy anymore." I forced a laugh so they would think I was really okay. I was trying very hard to be alright with this, it was just one birthday after all. One out of how many that we spent together? It was no big deal, it wasn't his fault if his parents wanted to take him out to dinner, right? No. It wasn't. Nope.