First off, just to clear up any little miussunderstandings, Kurei is NOT launching a total frontal assault on Kirigakure, he just hasn't got the manpower. No, our resident pyromaniac is going to use ye olde back-stabbing trick to get what he wants. Think of the irony, the eldest son of the Hokage clan becoming the MIZUkage, in a village which is technically the polar opposite of Recca & co
Also, we won't actually be hearing from Uruha fro a while now, just to make things interesting, so without further ado, here's the latest installment of: Hokage no Isan!
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A new start; Adoption and assignment!
After beating the living shit out of Mizuki, Naruto dispelled his clones, panting slightly from the chakra demand as Recca walked up and patted him on the back, smirking. "You did good Naruto," he muttered, "forget everything that faggot said, you're okay in our book."
Fuko ruffled the blonde's hair, while Domon moved to help Iruka stand up, the wind mistress adding her own two yen to the pile. "So you got a demon sealed in your stomach? So what?" she pointed at Domon and Recca, smirking, "I had to grow up with these two, that's worse than any old demon."
Recca made a comment about her being none to angelic herself and another argument broke out.
"Naruto." Iruka called out over the noise, making the blonde flinch, he turned and faced the chunin, who was leaning on Domon for support.
"Iruka-Sensei?"
The chunin smiled and gestured for the blonde to come closer. "Naruto," he said warmly, "I have something for you…close your eyes."
Naruto blinked, confused as heck, but did as he was told; surprised when he felt hands pull off his goggles and something being put in their place.
"Open your eyes Naruto." Iruka said warmly, and smiled as the Genin blinked in shock as he touched his forehead, where Iruka's Hitai-ate now sat. "Congratulations, graduate!" the chunin said, smiling warmly. Fuko giggled, twirling the blonde's goggles in her hands and winking. Recca and Domon were cheering the blonde's name and pumping an arm in the air, doing an odd looking war dance.
"GO! GO! NARUTO!" Recca yelled, a grin on his face to rival any fox's.
"YOU DA MAN!" Domon roared, twirling Iruka around in a spin, causing the chunin to yelp as the movement hurt the Chunin's already injured body.
"OI! I'm injured here!" he yelled humorously, causing Domon to wince and stutter an apology, whilst the others laughed at the giant's expense.
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The Hokage smiled at them as they returned the scroll, especially at Naruto. "I see you graduated Naruto," he muttered, hiding the tissue paper he'd stuffed up his nose, "well done."
Naruto grinned, tapping his Hitai-ate with one hand before pointing at the old man with the other. "Watch out old man," he boasted, "soon I'll be the one wearing that hat!"
Recca grinned, ruffling the blonde genin's hair again, causing him to squirm. "Not unless I beat ya to it!" he countered.
Domon grunted, cutting off the sure to follow fistfight as he nodded at the injured chunin over his shoulder. "Can we get a medic here?" he asked, "Iruka sensei's not getting any lighter."
The Hokage chuckled and snapped his fingers, causing three ANBU to appear from out of nowhere. Recca shivered, as he looked at them, those masks reminded him WAY too much of Kurei for comfort.
"See to Iruka," Sarutobi ordered, "make sure he gets the best of care."
As the ANBU took the grateful Chunin to the waiting hospital staff, Sarutobi smiled at the assembled teens, a twinkle in his eye. "I understand it's past suppertime?" he asked, eyeing Recca in particular. For the briefest of moments, the teen looked confused, before realization set in and his eyes widened in horror, arms flailing.
"CRAP! Mom's gonna be-!"
"Very proud of you." A familiar voice uttered from a moving shadow, which heralded the arrival of Recca's immortal mother.
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Kagero, emerging from a shadow behind the Hokage, nodded at the look of confusion on her son's face. "Sarutobi-san has already informed me of everything that has happened," she smiled at them, "I am very proud of you all."
Domon rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed, while Fuko flushed slightly. Naruto on the other hand, having never been praised by a woman in his life, let alone one as pretty as Recca's mother, couldn't think of a single boast or yell to fit the occasion, and settled for nodding numbly. Recca merely grinned from ear to ear, rubbing his nose. "Thanks mom."
Kagero nodded again, before turning her complete attention to the blonde before her. "Naruto," she began, "Sarutobi has told me everything that has happened to you and…well…" She pulled out a set of papers, from god knows where and smiled in a maternal sort of way, "If you are willing, I could adopt you as my son."
Recca's eyes widened, before he burst out in a full out yell. "YEAH! Hey Naruto! We could be brothers!"
Domon shivered and leaned in closer to Fuko, "God help the brat."
Fuko elbowed him in the face, though not as violently as she normally would, knowing the giant was only joking.
Meanwhile, Naruto stared at the woman in shock, hardly daring to believe his ears. "Are…are you serious?" he prompted, a bizzare combination of wonder crossing his features as Kagero smiled at him sadly.
"As I said, I have been well informed of the villagers…actions." The woman scowled, causing the assembled teens to shiver at the sight, Recca and his friends had never seen the immortal kunoichi this angry…EVER. "I will not permit such abuse to a child to progress any further." Kagero muttered.
"Hey I'm not a child!" Naruto yelled before a hand settled on his shoulder. Looking up at the owner of the limb revealed a grinning Recca.
"She didn't mean anything by it," the flame wielder said, chuckling, "so whadd'ya say?"
Naruto looked from the expectant look on the group's faces, then at the documents in Kagero's hands, before grinning.
"Where do I sign?"
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"There isn't much room so you'll be bunking with Domon and Recca." Kagero said, guiding the blonde up the path towards the safe house.
"No biggee!" Naruto grinned, a backpack over his shoulder, "this place is WAY bigger than my old apartment!"
Kagero frowned again at this obvious statement, though the blonde missed it, as he was too busy taking in the scenery. She remembered every detail of their brief stop at Naruto's apartment; she'd been disgusted at the dirt and state of the place, the roof leaked, the window didn't shut properly; the poor boy didn't even have access to clean running water!
Behind the two trailed Recca and Fuko, carrying bags of underwear, which apparently needed a good wash, whilst behind them the massive form of Domon lumbered along, carrying the boy's mattress and few pieces of furniture easily on his back, covered in what looked like plaster.
When Domon had overheard the landlord insulting Naruto during their brief pit stop, the giant, along with an all too eager Recca, had gone on a rampage and tore the whole building down around the man's ears. They had left the despicable little worm standing in the middle of a pile of rubble, gibbering like a madman as the dust settled.
'No less than he deserved.' Kagero thought darkly, before smiling at Naruto. "We'll get you some new clothes later," she assured him, "for now you can wear your old ones."
Naruto raised an eyebrow, "What's wrong with my outfit?" he asked, sniffing his orange jumpsuit in case it smelled funny, causing Kagero winced at the boy's lack of common sense, before smiling awkwardly and placing a hand on his shoulder by kneeling down to eye level.
"Naruto," she coaxed, "ninja's shouldn't wear clothing that draws attention." She plucked at the youth's jumpsuit in distaste, "You may as well paint a bull's-eye on you head."
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Naruto frowned, seeing the point in the woman's words, but like all boy's his age, refused to willingly cede any ground in an argument.
"But I LIKE orange…" he grumbled stubbornly, causing Recca to snicker, ruffling the blonde's hair again.
"Relax bro," he said lightly, having started referring to the blonde as such since the moment the papers were signed, "you'll get used to it." He smirked, "And besides, a Hokage shouldn't be spotted when on a mission…right?"
Naruto blinked at the logic in this, and then clenched his fit, eyes blazing in manner reminiscent of the resident Taijutsu specialists.
"OSSU! Hanabishi-san…uh..." he flushed and looked up at an amused Kagero, scratching the back of his head, "Ano…I mean…"
"Kaa-san, Naruto," Kagero cut in gently, smiling warmly down at the boy, "call me Kaa-san."
The blonde flushed again and nodded looking down at his feet in embarrassment.
"Ah-yeah…"
Kagero laughed lightly at how adorable the blonde looked, before blinking as something came back to her attention, turning to her biological son in concern.
"Recca," she stated, "there's something I need to tell you before we get home..."
The Enjutsu-shi blinked as he noticed the nervous expression on his mother's face, wondering what was up. "Like what mom?" he asked, before a fist connected with his jaw, sending him rolling across the lawn to land in the Koi pond. Recca swore as he came to the surface, ready top par-broil his bushwhacker with Setsuna, before he got a good look at him.
"What the-?!" he gawped at his attacker, "POPS?!?!?!"
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True enough, Hanabishi Shigeo stood in the doorway of the safe house, looking about as livid as a bull in a red stained china store.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO BOY?!" he roared, leaping into the air to perform an aerial body-slam on his startled son, catching Recca off guard again. "One minute, I'm making a deluxe order of fireworks, the next, my workshop is pulling a Dorothy and I'm standing in the middle of a circle on men with swords!"
Kagero sighed, as she rubbed the back of her neck, waiting for the struggle to die down a little before saying anything. "Shigeo-san caused quite a scene," she said with a small smile, "he landed on a spy that the ANBU had been trailing, killing him, which naturally compromised their mission."
Recca snorted, "Way to make a first impression dad."
Shigeo would have kicked the teen in the balls had Kagero not bowed to him.
"Apparently you have gotten involved in our affairs once again," the woman said apologetically, "sumimasen."
Shigeo and Recca ceased their roughhousing long enough for the older man to blush and stammer at the woman's behavior.
"Y-you don't need to be bowing your head," he muttered, scratching his own in exasperation, all intentions of thrashing his 'delinquent' son leaving his mind. "Man," he muttered, looking skywards, "what am I gonna do now though?"
Kagero smiled at the man that had raised her son. "I believe Sarutobi-sama invited you to join the village," she reminded him, "they could use a new fireworks producer, since the last one died thirteen years ago."
Shigeo squinted his eyes, looking for all the world like a shaved chimpanzee with a bandanna and cigarette. "The old guy with the pipe?" he muttered, "What is he, the mayor or something?"
Kagero chuckled, "Something like that."
She opened the door and bowed again, inviting him in with a welcoming smile.
"I believe this is a bit of a reversal?"
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As the two adults walked off, laughing in that bizarre way adults have, Recca nursed his jaw, wringing the water out of his clothes with his free hand. Naruto blinked, snapping himself out of his daze, before pointing after the departing adults, or more specifically, Shigeo.
"What was that?" he asked, causing Fuko to snort at the way he referred to the man, before smiling.
"He's Recca's dad…sorta." The girl explained, "Recca and his mom were separated at birth, so Hanabishi-san took him in." She walked into the doorway, taking off her sandals as she went, "Later Recca and Kagero-san met up and they've been together ever since."
Naruto nodded slightly, before patting Recca on the back, grinning. "At least you got your mom's looks!" he chirped, as if this made up for Shigeo's lack of anything.
Recca didn't have the energy to contradict the blonde.
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Shigeo marveled at the state of the house, saying he felt embarrassed for having entered in his work clothes, thumping Recca for snidely remarking they were his ONLY clothes. Kagero waved his apologies away and the two sat, resuming their conversation on Recca's childhood, much to the aforementioned genin's ire.
"Look at him, grinning at her like that…" Recca muttered, twitching as his adoptive father smiled at one of his mother's comments, Fuko bopping him one upside the head for being nosy.
"Leave them alone," she scolded, "they're both adults, and Kagero-san can handle herself."
Recca sighed and nodded resignedly. Kagero WAS a kunoichi after all, capable of dealing out painful death via pointy implements, let alone via poisoning or pressure point strikes, but the teen couldn't help but feel overprotective of his mother after being apart from her for so long.
He froze as his mother gave off a very girlish squeal. "Oh god," he muttered, paling in fear, "he wouldn't…" The Enjutsu-shi spun round, eyes widening in horror, "NOT THAT!"
"Yep, I always carry a copy of Recca's baby album with me." Shigeo snickered, turning the pages reverently, eliciting more cries from an ecstatic Kagero at the contents, "The boy torched the first copy, luckily I kept the negatives and made another."
Kagero let out a cry of joy as she began to comment on how adorable her baby boy looked with his head stuck in a plastic bucket, or running naked across the beach, whilst off to the side, Recca was banging his head into the table repeatedly as Domon and Fuko snickered.
Naruto merely sweatdropped at the sight as it went on for several minutes.
'So THIS is what a family looks like.' he muttered, shaking his head, 'Weird.'
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The next day at the academy the gang trudged in just minutes before the bell rang, making it to their seats just as the tardy bell went off.
Recca had a gloomy expression on his normally cheerful face; Yanagi hadn't spoken to him at all during breakfast, which apparently was her way of punishing him for missing supper the previous night. That and he just knew Kagero was going to show those damn pictures to her friends if they came over for a visit…if she'd made any since their arrival.
Domon and Naruto were bickering because the giant had managed to swipe the last sardine at the table, which the blonde had been trying to covet the entire time.
"Listen squirt," the giant muttered, "when it comes to food, its first come, first served!"
"But I called that last fish!" the blonde yelled, the two actually grinding their faces together in an attempt to glare each other down.
Fuko eventually silenced them with a couple of picks aimed at the groin, which luckily for the duo missed, causing them to settle with launching spitballs at each other, which varied from pea sized darts or tennis ball sized bombs which cauysed Ino to shriek if the missed and slapped against the wall.
Tokiya didn't comment about them staying out late, as it really wasn't his business, and he'd pretty much put everything together after speaking with Kagero that morning, making a mental note to move his meditation space to a small waterfall he 'd discovered not too far away from the house to escape the blonde hurricane of noise.
True to her word, Kagero had bought Naruto a new set of clothes to replace the god-awful orange jumpsuit, and the blonde had to admit that he rather liked them. Like Recca, it followed the traditional ninja theme, Konoha leggings with wrappings at the end. He stubbornly wore an orange shirt, but it was under a thick fishnet vest and an open black kimono style top, which had his red whirlpool marking on the back and arms.
Kagero had even customized the others' outfits as part of a graduation gift for them all. Domon now sported the kanji for 'Oni' on his back; Fuko had added a sash with the kanji for 'Kaze' on it to her wardrobe, whilst Recca wore the Symbol of the Hokage ninja clan on the breast of his shirt, something that caused the teen great pleasure. Mikagami had humbly declined the offer and Yanagi had been too embarrassed to ask.
Iruka came in, still wearing bandages under his uniform but smiling as he pulled out a satchel, rolling out a massive scroll.
"The results of the overall exam were as follows," he instructed, "please make a list of your placing in the class."
Naruto swallowed and looked at the list in resigned gloom.
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Konoha ninja academy: graduating class written exam results.
Mikagami Tokiya.
Uzumaki Naruto.
Kirisawa Fuko/ Ku Saicho
Hanabishi Recca.
Ishijima Domon.
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Naruto stared in shock, as if expecting someone to leap out of the walls screaming 'PSYCHE!', only for the words to remain before him
'Second out of the entire class…SECOND out of the entire class!'
Around the blonde boy, a choir had broken out singing 'Hallelujah' and a spotlight was shining on him, his eyes closed as he turned his face heavenward as tears rolled down his cheeks.
Domon and Recca were high fiving each other for making it into the top five, whilst Fuko mocked them for being beaten by a squirt, whilst Yanagi tried to stop her, the girl looking a little puit down at not making it to the top five with her friends, but glad that Naruto had done so well.
Tokiya merely snorted, amused that his efforts had been right on the money.
'Uzumaki isn't the fool everyone makes him out to be,' the swordsman acknowledged, 'without hindrance, his potential should be astonishing.'
He blinked at the waves of killing intent washing over him from the seat next to him, staring at his normally inexpressive desk mate.
'It would appear someone is annoyed…'
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Uchiha Sasuke was annoyed.
No, more than annoyed, he was absolutely livid!
He, the sole survivor of the illustrious Uchiha clan; had been outdone by the class dunce and his ragtag group of friends, it was unthinkable!
The raven-aired teen glared at the blonde idiot, who was squirming to escape from the headlock Ishijima had put him in, his eyes threatening to bulge out of his skull.
'How did that idiot manage it?' he muttered, 'Did he cheat?'
Meanwhile, near the back of the class, Hyuuga Hinata smiled as she gazed at her secret crush, unaware that both Saicho and Shino could see her.
'Naruto-kun…'
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Iruka coughed, catching the teens' attentions, before rolling up the scroll.
"Hope you took notes," he lectured, "cause from now on your all full fledged shinobi of Konoha."
The chunin smiled at them, a far-away look in his eyes, before clearing his throat and holding up a clipboard.
"I will now read out the team formations;" he called out, "due to the councils ruling, some teams will consist of four genin instead of three; Team 1…"
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As Iruka droned away, Recca nudged Domon and Naruto, grinning from ear to ear.
"Hope we get together eh?" he suggested, fingers crossed, "The prankster trio?"
Naruto grinned, knocking fists with his partners in crime.
"We'll be unstoppable!" he whispered, turning to face the front, fingers crossed along with his friends.
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"Team six: Yanagi Sakoshita, Fuko Kirisawa…"
Fuko waved at the shy Hime and smiled.
"Mikagami Tokiya..." Iruka added, until a shriek deafened him.
"Why did you put Hime with that jerk?!" Recca yelled, head the size of a car.
Iruka sighed; knowing whom the boy was referring to, who wouldn't after all the antics the boy got up to? Whilst wondering when Recca had picked up his trademark 'giant evil head' jutsu.
"The overall grades were tallied, and the council believed this group was the best." He scowled, "Now do not interrupt again."
Recca slumped against the table, tears trickling out of his eyes comically, whilst Domon patted him on the back. Mikagami smirked in a superior fashion that Recca failed to notice, but Fuko did, making a mental note to smack the genius upside the head.
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Iruka winced in dread as he ran his eyes over the next team roster, silently wondering if the gods that goverend Konoha were on crtack or something.
'Dear lord," he muttered, "I pity the poor sod assigned to this bunch…'
Clearing his throat he settled his features into a neutral mask and called out the names.
"Ishijima Domon, Hanabishi Recca, Uzumaki Naruto…"
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The trio leapt in the air, Recca's mood lightened somewhat at the prospect of his best friend and 'Outoto' being with him, and promptly began a bizarre victory dance that involved spinning in a circle on the desktops, whilst Domon and Naruto threw confetti in the air.
"And Uchiha Sasuke." Iruka concluded, sweat-dropping at the sight. It grew as the teen apparently lost his footing and slammed into the desk face first.
The trio slumped across the table, banging their heads on the hard wood in an attempt to wake up from their nightmare.
'NOT HIM!' they wailed in eerie mental symmetry, glaring at the resident Uchiha, who pretend to ignore them.
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Iruka shook his head, sighing, before getting back to the task at hand.
"Team Eight: Ku Saicho, Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba."
Hinata smiled at her future teammates and spared a glance at a moping Naruto, too shy to try and comfort him with so many watching.
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"And finally," Iruka called out, "Team Ten: Yamanaka Ino, Akimichi Choji, Nara Shikamaru."
Haruno Sakura blinked and held up her hand, catching the Chunin's attention.
"Ano, Sensei…" she called out, "what about me?"
Iruka blinked in confusion, then sighed after looking over the roster again, shaking his head.
"Gomen ne, Sakura," the chunin apologized, "I missed your name thanks to Recca's interruption, you're on team six."
Recca flushed at the comment and lowered his head, glaring at Mikagami, who appeared to be smiling.
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It was mid noon and team seven was still waiting for their sensei.
Team Six had been escorted out by, of all people, Kukai; the eternally blissful leader of Ku had willingly accepted the roll of Jounin instructor in order to keep an eye on his friends, though Mikagami suspected it was no mere fluke that Saicho was on the man's team.
Team Eight had been escorted off by a red-eyed, curly haired kunoichi called Yuhei Kurenai. Hinata had waved shyly at Naruto, and he waved back in reply, though he hadn't really been paying attention, seeing as he was currently trying to drill a hole into Sasuke's head with his eyes, though it still managed to fluster the shy kunoichi.
Team ten was lead off by a jounin who bore a passing resemblance to the sandaime Hokage. When he introduced himself as Sarutobi Asuma, Recca but two and two together, and grumbled as the Ino-Shika-Cho were lead away by someone with close ties to the Hokage.
Now the remaining four genin were lazing about the academy waiting for their good-for-nothing sensei to show up.
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Three hours later…
"GAH! Where is he?!" Recca grouched, throwing Kunai at the wall as Domon growled in annoyance, "I've seen plants that showed up faster than this!"
Sasuke said nothing, merely scowling at the trio in distaste. 'Weaklings,' he muttered to himself, 'they'll only hold me back.'
Naruto, after being unusually quiet for the past half hour grinned and eyed the door mischievously.
"You two up for a prank?" he asked, eyeing his partners in crime with a daring look.
Recca and Domon grinned and the three genin huddled together, Sasuke raising an intrigued eyebrow as they let off the occasional demented cackle.
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When a silver haired Jounin entered the classroom, some 45 minutes later, he sighed as the duster bounced off his head, before looking around at his charges.
"Not very imaginative…are you?" he drawled, no noticing the evil looks on three of his charges' faces.
As he took a step forward however, he felt the telltale feeling of a tripwire, and was promptly sent rolling across the floor, a bucket of whitewash falling on his head, setting off yet another tripwire as he fell. Three toy arrows hit him on both butt cheeks and the bucket respectively; causing him to tumble head over heals across the floor, before crashing upside down into Iruka's desk.
Naruto Recca and Domon roared in victorious laughter and were exchanging high fives amongst themselves, whilst Sasuke was eyeing the jounin with serious doubt on his face.
'This is one of the village elite?' he muttered, clearly unimpressed. Said jounin slowly righted himself and pulled off the bucket, wiping as much of the whitewash off as he could, before running his eye over the group.
"Well now," he muttered, tone flat, "based on my first impression, I have to say…I hate you."
The genin winced, the three troublemakers gulping.
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The jounin had them relocate to the academy roof, still drenched in whitewash but determined to see things through.
"Now," he began, "I'd like you all to tell us a little about yourselves."
"Like what?" Recca asked, twirling a kunai around his fingers, the jounin shrugged.
"…You know, the usual." He clarified, "Your likes, dislikes…dreams, ambitions, hobbies, things like that."
Naruto slumped over, a confused look on his face. "Help us out here teach," he urged, "You go first, show us how it's done."
Domon nodded, "Yeah…you're the stranger here after all."
The jounin blinked, "Oh…Me? My name is Hatake Kakashi. I'm the kind of person that doesn't like talking about his likes and dislikes." He shrugged lazily, "My dreams for the future are none of you business…I have a lot of hobbies."
The group sweatdropped, even the normally stoic Sasuke felt a bead of sweat sliding down the side of his head.
'So all we learned was his name?' they thought together, wincing.
"Right," Kakashi cut in, "starting off, Blondie."
Naruto grinned, touching his Hitai-ate with pride.
"I'm Hanabishi Naruto!" he chirped, "I like Ramen and training with my friends! What I like even better is when Kagero Kaa-san teaches us about shinobi! I hate it when people look down on others, and my dream is to become the greatest Hokage!"
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Kakashi blinked caught off guard at the youth's introduction.
'Hanabishi Naruto?" he muttered in confusion, "I thought his surname was Uzumaki?'
He nodded in understanding, 'He must have been adopted; you'd think they'd keep me updated.'
The jounin shook himself out of his ramblings before nodding at Domon.
"Big guy, you're next."
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Domon smirked, flexing an arm and causing Kakashi to wince at the size of him.
"I'm Ishijima Domon!" he greeted, "I like training and sparring with Hanabishi and the squirt!"
The giant genin grinned as Naruto thumped at him, the blow feeling like a feather to him."I hate bullies and people that are full of themselves." He continued, "And my dreams for the future are to clobber Hanabishi and marry Fuko-chan!"
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Kakashi blinked as the giant rambled on about his 'beloved', quite caught off guard.
'Not the muscle-head I first took him for…' he thought as Domon rapped Naruto on the head for teasing him.
Shaking himself the jounin nodded towards Recca, "You?"
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Recca nodded, pulling off a cheeky salute, and pointing at himself with his thumb.
"Hanabishi Recca!" he greeted, "Just like the squirt and Franken-dick here I like training and beating the snot outta them."
He dodged a blow from Domon and Naruto respectively, laughing at the looks of mock annoyance on their faces.
"I dislike anyone that would sell out their friends," he continued, "and my dreams for the future are to make a name for my clan and marry Hime!"
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Kakashi raised an eyebrow, sweat dropping at the kid's last statement.
'Pretty lofty dream," he muttered, "marrying a princess eh?'
He snorted to himself, before pointing at Sasuke, who was doing a perfect imitation of Ikari Gendo.
"And you?"
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"My name is Uchiha Sasuke." The raven-haired teen muttered, not changing his position, "There are plenty of things I hate, but I don't see how that matters as there are few things I actually do like."
He scowled, "Dreams are worthless…what I have, is determination; I plan to restore my clan…and there is someone I have to kill."
Recca and Domon frowned, this guy sounding way too much like Mikagami used to be for their liking. Naruto shivered, remembering the prank he'd pulled on the Uchiha not too long ago and hoped it wasn't him the avenger was talking about.
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Kakashi sighed as the teen leveled off; shaking his head, as he knew whom the teen was on about. 'I thought as much…'
The Jounin stood up straight, folded his arms and nodded at them. "Alright, now that we all understand one another, formal training begins tomorrow."
Naruto saluted, "Hai! What are our orders sensei?!"
Domon cracked his knuckles, as Recca grinned. "Our first mission?" the latter asked, looking hopeful. Kakashi shook his head, inwardly enjoying the effect this had on the group.
"Tomorrow's exercise involves only the members of this cell."
Recca grinned from ear to ear, "What is it?"
"Survival training." The jounin replied.
"EH?!?!?" Naruto balked, "But we did a tonne of that at the academy!"
Kakashi snorted, really beginning to enjoy himself.
"True," he admitted, "but this isn't standard survival training, you will have to survive…against ME."
The group flinched at this, the prankster trio wondering if this jounin would hold a grudge.
"What do you mean by…non-standard?" Naruto asked carefully.
Kakashi began to snort into his mask, which the group realized was suppressed laughter. "What's so funny?" Domon asked, looking worried, the whitewash had been his idea.
"If I told you you'd chicken out…" Kakashi muttered, shaking his head and waving a hand dismissively, "out of the thirty-three members of your graduating class…only twelve will be accepted as genin."
He gave them an eerie look with his sole visible eye, causing them all to shiver.
"The rest will be sent back to the academy in shame," Kakashi continued, "this test has a failure rate of over 66"
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Recca Domon and Naruto were struck dumb, their eyes bulging, totally white, and their teeth like blocks. (The face anyone makes when they're surprised in the Naruto series.) Sasuke merely scowled at the jounin, though a bead of sweat did slide down his cheek.
Kakashi, after enjoying a silent laughing fit at the looks on their faces, gave them their instructions, warning them not to eat anything before coming, and then disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving them to their own devices.
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At the Hanabishi house, the gang was unusually subdued.
Fuko and the others revealed that they were in the same predicament as Recca's team, though Kukai told them not to worry, as they'd only be facing him head on, which hadn't done much to comfort the wind user. Recca spent the whole meal worrying about what Kakashi had planned for the test, before sauntering off to his room to think.
'Okay,' he muttered, 'survival exercises against a jounin level opponent…that means that we'll probably have to team up against him…but we don't have much time to think up a strategy…'
Nodding to himself, he set about gathering some scrolls from his part of the room, deciding to check with the others.
'This is a survival exercise,' He reasoned, walking down the patio, 'so we need to go over the sign language Kaa-san taught us, just in case.'
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He found Domon in the training yard, swinging Kuchibashi-o around and demolishing all the targets with the ease of long-practice. The giant paused when he sensed Recca and recalled the beak king madogu.
"Been a while since I practiced," He muttered, slinging the weapon over his shoulder, "just getting the feel of it again."
Recca nodded in understanding. "Have you seen Naruto?" he asked, looking around the clearing, "I'd like us to go over the sign language one more time."
"I'm up here bro." Naruto called out, leaping off the roof nimbly.
Domon smirked, following the blonde's progress with his eyes. "What were ya doing up there squirt?" he asked affectionately.
"Just watching the moon." The blonde replied as he landed in front of the other two. Recca shrugged and pulled out the scrolls he'd brought, as the group sat in a circle.
"Listen," he urged, "this is another survival exercise, despite what that masked idiot says." He held a scroll in front of his face, "so we gotta make sure we know where we are without giving the game away."
Domon frowned, "What about Uchiha?"
"Let the bastard fend for himself." Naruto replied with a snort, only to blink as Recca sighed, shaking his head.
"Much as I like the idea," the teen muttered, "he's our teammate now, so we gotta watch out for him too."
Domon groaned as Recca began calling out the signs. "This is gonna be hell…" the Giant predicted.
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Sasuke stared at the memorial under the main clan building, deep in thought.
'Tomorrow I will become a genin," he predicted, "I MUST become one…' He clenched his fists, 'and if those idiots do anything to slow me down…'
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The trio sneezed, looking at each other apprehensively.
"Maybe we should go indoors?" Domon suggested, rubbing his nose, "There's a bit of a breeze out here."
Recca nodded, "In a minute, so everyone knows what to do?"
Naruto smirked, "We assess the situation, and then based on the facts, we make our move."
Recca eyed Domon, continuing where his brother had left off. "To be safe, I suggest using the kage bunshin jutsu to take our places and hide in the shrubbery."
Domon grinned, seeing the sense in the plan.
"That way," the giant finished, "even if he spots them, we'll already be hidden."
Naruto thumped a fist in the air, "OSSU! We are so gonna kick that old fart's ass!"
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Across Konoha, Kakashi sneezed in the middle of his shower, causing him to slip on the soap and fall out, leaking whitewash onto his carpet.
'I am so getting them back for this.' He resolved, pulling himself to his feet resignedly.
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Kagero smiled as Recca, Naruto and Domon sat debating battle strategies together.
'In another day and age,' she predicted, 'Naruto and Domon would have made fine Hokage Ninja…the village leader's personal guard.'
She chuckled as Domon hurled a kunai at Recca for a comment the smaller teen had made.
'Recca…you truly are blessed.'
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Well there you have it, the latest installment of Naruto's adventures with Team Hokage!
Will they pass Kakashi's exam?!
Will Kakashi get revenge for the whitewash?!
And Will I ever stop asking such ridiculous questions?!
(Probably not the latter, it's too damn fun)
Tune in next time to find out!