We were back at his house, lying in his bed. I was on my side while Edward was next to me with his arm around my waist to calm me down. I didn't stop crying my tearless sobs until late that night.
"Edward?" I said, my voice hoarse from the sobbing.
"Yes, Bella?" He whispered in my ear.
"I was…a monster. I couldn't control myself." My voice broke at the end.
"Bella, every newborn goes through that. We are what we are. I told you this at the beginning." He stroked my cheek.
I turned on my back to face him. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I feel so ashamed." I closed my eyes.
I felt Edward's lips on mine as he spoke. "You shouldn't feel ashamed. At least it wasn't on a human. You are doing better than any of us. And besides," He kissed my cheek. "Seeing you like that makes you look sexy." He smiled my favorite smile.
I giggled. "Promise me you won't let me hurt anyone?"
"Of course, Bella."
------
"So, how do you feel?" Alice asked me.
"I'm fine, Alice," I said. I was getting annoyed that she kept asking me that same question.
"Don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. Really. You just have to get used to everything like we did." She grabbed my hand. "Come on. Let's go."
"Where?"
"I want to go shopping."
"Wait, Alice-"
"What is wrong with you??" I recognized Edward's roar coming from the kitchen. He stormed into the room. He must have heard.
"What, Edward?" Alice asked like he wasn't even angry with her.
"What makes you think you can even consider something so ludicrous-"
She stopped him. "Edward. I would bring Jasper with me, and you would be there of course. I've already seen it, and everything turns out fine."
"I don't think she's ready to go out in public," he said.
"Bella?" She turned to me. "Do you want to go?"
I looked at the both of them. Alice was excited to go shopping, and Edward had a concerned look on his face. Truthfully, I wanted to make them both happy, but I was just so…worn out. There was something I wanted to do, and it seemed insane, but it would make me so happy to do it.
"Alice, I promise we will go shopping as soon as possible, but I'm just not ready for it. I don't want to have any…urges."
She sighed. "Ok, fine. But remember, you promised." She danced into the other room.
I turned to Edward. "Edward, I…" I paused. What I really wanted right now wasn't going to make him happy, or willing to agree, but I had to give it a try. "I want to go see Charlie." I kept my head down, but I slowly raised my eyes to his.
Edward looked calm and unmoving. He stood still for a moment. "Bella, you know that can't happen-"
"I know." I interrupted him. "I know it's completely against everything you stand for, but I have to…I have to see him. He's my father, and I miss him a lot." I closed my eyes to stop myself from losing it.
Edward wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. "Ok. We can go see him, but he can't see you. I'm sorry, but that's the best I can do."
I sighed. "That's fine."