Song 3: The Light Behind Your Eyes

Artist: My Chemical Romance

Author's Notes: ;-;

Warning: Multiple character deaths, hints of suicide and suicidal mentions, no happy ending

Tears ran down Lovino's face as he sat in the small building, his body being wracked with his seemingly endless sobs of sorrow in this empty world. He could hear the rotting and uneven boards from the building creaking and whining underneath his weight and the wind that blew across the abandoned city, leaving Lovino all alone in this troubled world. Of course, not completely alone. People were out there, somewhere. He refused to believe he was literally the only one left, but really- he was. A shuddering breath escaped his lips as he sat with his back against the wall, crying out to nobody.

Gone. They were gone. Everybody was gone. Everybody he had grown to know and love, gone. Maybe not dead, but the puzzle of his heart had been picked apart, leaving only the hollow outline. The cruel world had been indefatigable in tearing apart his heart since the very beginning of this hell, taking away the people he loved. First, it was Elizabeta, her becoming a subject to the infection and he and the rest of the group they were traveling with had to shoot her. He had to shoot her, the one with a gun.

It wasn't like he blamed them for not knowing how to use guns. Elizabeta had a good arm, though. Everyone had their helping attributes. That day Gilbert broke, and they were forced to stay in the same place until they could convince him to keep moving, she wouldn't have wanted to see him die. Back then he had thought he was being melodramatic, but now he understood. He didn't want to understand.

Then, unsurprisingly, next came the disappearance of said German. They had searched for a solid three days, but at one point they came to accept the fact he was gone. Everyone noticed the way Ludwig was off from that point onwards, and Feliciano did his best to try and soothe the tall German man, but he stayed strong. He kept going. God, he never thought he would wish he could be like the stupid potato-bastard, but now he did. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Next came Elayna, which tore at the threads of his heart. First, it was Elizabeta, next Gilbert, then Elayna. Of course, he'd never say it out loud, but he could feel layers being peeled away from his childhood. The three people he had grown up with, gone. Just like that. But he had forced himself to stay strong, like Ludwig was, for Feliciano. Though, Lars didn't take his sister's death very kindly. The usually stoic man found himself crying in Lovino's arms in the middle of the night when everybody else was asleep and they were supposed to be the people on guard. Nobody knew of his frequent awakenings at night, crying out into the night for his sister. Nobody ever would know, now.

Then it was Feliciano. It was like the world really hated him. He watched as his little brother crumpled to the ground at the hands of some blonde man, his olive green eyes widening as he realized that this person wasn't, in fact, undead but rather very alive. Lovino hadn't been given a chance to react and punish that person in turn, as he had turned and fled as soon as he noticed the three other people that had been with him. He hurt from that point forwards, and he succumbed to a cold numbness. He didn't notice the way that Ludwig's eyes lost their light in their own turn as he saw his own best friend lose the last of his life, and now he wished he did. Then maybe he'd at least have someone to accompany him.

But, he didn't. Ludwig was found dead a month after, and neither he nor Antonio knew how he had died. But they accepted the fact that he was, in fact, dead. But Lovino was still numb, but he held onto that last piece of his puzzle. The last, most important piece of his puzzle. Bright green eyes, charming grin, curly brown locks. Another sob wracked his body as he remembered the light in Antonio's vivid emerald optics, but that was gone.

It was as clear as the difference between day and night whenever he even thought of the name, his hurt and his numbness; his fall burned into his mind like someone had taken a hot iron and embedded it there. And he couldn't get rid of it no matter how hard he tried. It was like even he hated himself. Everybody hated him. Everyone. At this point, at least.

He could press repeat thousands upon thousands of times, and it wouldn't tell him he'd clicked the button too much; nobody was there too anyways. He choked on his own breath, his arms wrapped around his legs where they were pulled up to his chest. He didn't care at this point. Too bad if the stupid zombies came and pulled him into death. It wasn't like he had anything much to live for, and at least there he would be surrounded by blissful darkness, and he wouldn't have to remember. He'd do it himself, maybe, but he had run out of ammo awhile ago.

He could watch as bright green eyes looked up at him, wide and afraid, and remember as sticky crimson liquid poured out of a wound by his side. He remembered his broken Spanish accent croaking his name and reaching up to brush his lover's tears away with a bloody thumb. He'd look on as his hand fell back down due to the excruciating pain it made him go through, but it was okay because his Lovino was crying. And that wasn't good. He could listen to his dying farewell, listen to him telling him to stay strong, for him.

"You don't know how hard it is!" He suddenly yelled, grabbing a nearby rock and chucking it at the wall across from him. His face was pained, and he stood up shakily. Grabbing a piece of glass on the floor, he didn't care as he turned and chucked it at the wall too. He watched it shatter into a million of pieces, a million pieces and he wouldn't even be able to find a quarter of them. Like his heart.

Crying out he stumbled backward and fell to the ground again, ignoring the pain that rushed through him as he landed heavily on the wooden floorboards. Salty tears streamed down his cheeks, and hiccuping sobs filled the silent wasteland that he had once known as the world he lived in. "You don't know how hard it is…"

Silence.

No reply.

It was expected.

But,

"Ti amo, Antonio."