Ah, the exam starts, how will our heroes last in this winner takes all competition? Can they even last before the fearsome might of Ibiki?
Kakashi: This'll be fun. (Whipcracks) AGH! MY ASS YOU BASTARD!
Kyugan: Who said you could stop working, get cleaning bitch!
Kakashi: Ano...that word isn't morally acceptable y'know (Gunshot) MY KIDNEY!
Kyugan: (Holds up a remote) Damn that's a lot of blood...roll tape.
Gejimayu duo; the chunin exams begin!
Recca whistled at the sheer amount of genin filling the academy's yard, shaking his head in awe. "Man! When they said the exam was difficult they weren't kidding," he exclaimed, "that one guy looks older than pops!"
Domon nodded, growling back at a pair of stone Nins that were shooting them dirty looks. Naruto had his usual cheerful smile on his face, his katana at his side tapping gently against his thigh.
Sasuke was the mirror opposite, and had his usual scowl on his features, glaring at anyone or anything that dared to enter his personal bubble-space, which had grown to include everything within the limit of the Uchiha's eyesight in radius.
Fortunately, they made their way up the stairs without an incident breaking out, before coming to a halt on the second floor, though not by choice.
(What're these guys doing on the second floor?) Domon signed, earning a nod from the other two.
(Who cares, lets go.) Recca replied, hoping that being late would lower the amount of competition they would have to face, and made to sneak past the crowd for the stairway at the end of the hall.
Unfortunately, the resident avenger had to open his mouth and show off.
"Why don't you drop the illusion and let me past," Sasuke jeered smugly, "I have business on the third floor.".
The two 'genin' behind the blockade snorted, moderately impressed. "So you figured it out," Kotetsu muttered, shaking his head slightly, before lunging forwards. "But seeing through it isn't enough!"
Sasuke moved to block the incoming attack, only to receive a blow to the head that sent him face-first into the floor.
"BAKAYARO!" Naruto yelled, hitting the Uchiha over the head with his sheathed katana repeatedly, "HAD TA OPEN YOUR BIG MOUTH DIDN'T YA?!"
Domon grunted, cracking his neck joints in irritation, casting an annoyed glare towards their stunned audience. "Mendokuse" he muttered, "now we got more problems to deal with!"
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In the crowd, Hyuuga Neji frowned at the group analytically. 'They noticed the illusion,' he noted, 'and were planning on walking right by it to diminish the amount of competition.'
The Hyuuga smirked, shaking his head at the bizarre turn of events. 'A good plan,' he acknowledge, 'until raven head screwed up that is.'
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"I dare you to try that again." Sasuke growled at the blonde, rubbing the back of his skull in anger, wincing at the multitude of goose eggs he felt forming.
"WITH PLEASURE!" Naruto yelled, and was about to clout the Uchiha before Recca grabbed him by the shoulder.
"Don't bother Naruto," the enjutsu-shi sighed, "you'll chip you blade off his thick head." He smirked at the blonde conspiratorially, before raising his voice slightly. "Besides," the teen called out, "you don't want your sword to catch something from Okama-chan do ya?"
Several genin raised their eyebrows at this and a wide area suddenly appeared around the Uchiha, a good ten feet in diameter, allowing Team Kakashi to make their way up the steps ahead of a muttering crowd.
However, in their desire to get as far away as possible from the mob, they failed to notice a beady pair of eyes watching them from under a thick pair of eyebrows.
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"Had to be at least thirty guys back there," Domon muttered, stamping through the hallway just behind the rest of his teammates, "dammit Uchiha, nothing's ever easy with you!"
"Matte!"
The group paused and looked up to see a kid with a bowl cut and the bushiest eyebrows they'd ever seen looking down at them.
"A Muppet?" Domon exclaimed stupidly, noticing the look Recca gave him and blushing, "Ganko made me watch the show at Fuko's." the giant explained, earning a nod from his rival.
The strange looking teen looked a year older than Naruto, and had a determined look in his eyes as he gazed at them, or more specifically, Sasuke.
"You and me…here and now." he challenged, "Wanna fight?"
Naruto blinked, his brain finally accepting that the bizarre figure did indeed exist, and that he had just challenged Sasuke. "Who the heck are you?" he stammered, trying to look anywhere but at the genin's lower regions, which were quite visible thanks to his fashion statement.
"My name is Rock lee." The teen introduced, before pointing at Sasuke, "Etiquette requires you introduce yourself before enquiring another's name."
Sasuke smirked, shaking his head slightly. "Uchiha Sasuke," he introduced, "but you probably knew that already."
The teen nodded and moved into a stance, frowning in concentration. "I'm calling you out!" he declared, "I've wanted to test the effectiveness of my techniques against the last surviving member of your legendary clan."
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Sasuke smirked, his ego swelling at the teen's words. 'Finally, someone that acknowledges the might of the Uchiha.' He muttered, moving forwards, before a hand stopped him. The Avenger glared at Recca who glared right back at him, clearly unimpressed, having gotten worse looks from Kurei.
"We don't have time for this Uchiha," Recca muttered, "get your ego under control before I have Domon knock you out." He looked at the green clothed genin and nodded apologetically. "Sorry, but we're late as it is, if you wanna face Sasuke-chan; do it in the exam."
The bushy browed genin blinked in confusion, as if only noticing the other teens for the first time. "Who are you?" he asked, prompting a nod from the enjutsu-shi.
"Hanabishi Recca." The teen replied, before nodding, a smug look on his face, "Rock Lee was it? You owe me one." At the Genin's look of confusion Recca smirked, thumbing at an annoyed Sasuke.
"Uchiha unlocked his sharingan a while ago," he explained, "he'd have stolen and copied every move you made."
Lee blinked once, twice, before striking a bizarre pose and smiling. "YOSH! Arigato Hanabishi-san!" he yelled, "In return, I shall return the favour in the finals by fighting you full out!"
The group blinked at this, sweat dropping in unison. 'How's that repay anything?' they thought, Sasuke actually joining in, when there was an explosion of smoke and a man on a turtle appeared.
"AH! The exuberance of youth!" the man yelled from atop his perch, "You four are most assuredly full of it!"
The trio had to pull their jaws off the grounds at the sight of the man, as Sasuke suppressed a full body shudder.
'Look at those eyebrows!' Recca gaped, swearing he saw them moving like a set of caterpillars.
'What the heck is he wearing?' Naruto thought numbly, 'And why's he doing that daft pose?'
'Where'd the turtle come from?' Domon wondered, eyes meeting the terrapins dumbly, his brain threatening to commit seppuku if he tried to comprehend anything involving the apparition standing on the beast's shell.
"By the way, how's Kakashi doing?" the man asked after his mind-numbing hug with Lee, prompting Team 7 to blink back to semi-consciousness.
"You know Kakashi sensei?" Naruto asked; eyes confused as the man chuckled conspiratorially.
"Know him?"
Sasuke blinked, then felt his eyes widen as the man apparently disappeared.
"I should say so!" came a voice behind them, "We're arch rivals!" As the group stared at the man in stunned disbelief he made a thumbs up and smiled again. "The odds stand at 50-49 wins in my favour!" he boasted, "I am stronger than Kakashi!"
'I believe it, if your speed's any indication.' Sasuke muttered, frowning at how easily the jounin had taken the rear.
Recca nodded dumbly, then pulled himself together with a shake of the head. "Listen, nice meeting you…" he paused as he tried to recall the man's name, "Gai-sensei, but we gotta go, we'll pass your regards on to Kaka-sensei later."
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Gai waved them off loudly and with cries of 'Youth', which they attempted to block out, sighing in relief as they got out of earshot.
"That was the scariest thing I've ever seen in my life…" Naruto muttered, shivering in revulsion as the final echoes died away, "and believe me, I KNOW scary."
"Every time I blink, I see those two hugging." Domon whimpered weakly, face greener than Gai's spandex. Sasuke shivered again and fixed his glare dead ahead, determined to put the obviously insane duo out of thought and mind.
As it was, when the team met Kakashi at the door to the exam room, they walked right past him before he could say anything, Naruto giving an enigmatic, 'Uber-brows says hi.' as the sole explanation.
'Uber-? Ah.' The jounin realized, shaking his head, 'So they met Gai eh? Poor little lambs.'
He shrugged and pulled out his beloved porn, giggling as he picked up where he'd last left off. The jounin would have given them a big encouraging speech, but he was feeling a little drained from the night before. As it was, he barely had the energy to turn the pages of his beloved book.
Of course, if he'd been any other man, he'd still be in the hospital suffering from exhaustion, but if there's one thing Kakashi prided himself on, it was his stamina, determination and most of all, his technique.
Seriously, do you know how HARD it is to outrun a horny Mitarashi Anko while wearing nothing but a thong and with your arms and legs shackled together? That took talent of almost GODLIKE proportions, which in retrospect, could make up for any little inconveniences which shall not be spoken of here, no siree.
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Inside the three genin glared at Sasuke after taking in the sheer amount of competition already in the hall.
"This is all your fault." Naruto muttered, "If we survive this, we're pranking you so hard you won't know up from down."
The Uchiha snorted dismissively, but on the inside he shivered, remembering how devious the three could get when they felt like it, the genin exam for example.
He was knocked out of his thoughts by pink and blonde projectiles latching around his neck, choking him.
"Let him go forehead girl!" the blonde, one Yamanaka Ino, yelled at her rival and former best friend, Haruno Sakura, as she unwittingly throttled Sasuke in her attempts to hug him.
"I saw him first Ino-buta!" the pink-haired kunoichi retorted, tightening her grip on the Uchiha and only adding to the avengers predicament, as the two love struck girls promptly began a tug of war with his neck.
The trio snickered, as the Uchiha turned blue from lack of oxygen. "For a queer, you sure pick up a lot of chicks, Sasuke-chan." Naruto snickered, only for the girls to round on him in 'righteous' fury.
"Sasuke-kun isn't gay!" Ino yelled, flames burning in her eyes as she towered over the self proclaimed future Hokage.
"Don't you dare insult him again you little brat!" Sakura yelled; fists clenched and ready to pummel Naruto into submission, as she had on numerous times at the academy when she believed the blonde was getting too full of himself.
"SHANNAROOOOOO!" Inner sakura raged, looming behind the girls, wielding dual machetes in her rage, a headband reading 'death to the midget' across her massive brow.
Domon winced at the slur to Naruto's height. 'Bad call…' he muttered, grabbing the blonde's coat just in time to prevent a massacre.
"I'M NOT LITTLE!" Naruto roared, limbs lashing out in all directions, "DON'T CALL ME MIDGET! OR SHORTY! OR SHRIMP!"
Sakura and Ino leapt back in surprise, sporting black eyes as the frothing blonde struggled in the giant's grip, more shocked at the fact that Naruto had actually STRUCK them than his reaction to Sakura's insult.
"Man, why don't you guys just die and do us all a favour?" Shikamaru complained, yawning lazily as he ambled towards the group alongside Akimichi Chouji, his best friend.
"I could as the same of you Shikamaru." Recca smirked, "The amount of time you like to close your eyes, I'd have thought you'd enjoy a more permanent nap."
"Mendokuse…" The lazy genin snorted, and looked around the room, an annoyed frown on his face.
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Domon sighed as he released a still growling Naruto, the blonde having calmed down considerably since his initial rant. Looking around the room in irritation the giant blinked as he spotted a familiar face approaching them, before grinning stupidly as little hearts started circling his head.
"FUKO!"
The rookies, and everyone else for that matter, winced as the giant's bellow deafened them; his waving his arms in the air wasn't helping their image any either.
"Jeez Domon, lower your decibel count would ya?" the wind user chided, rubbing her ear from the yell. Yanagi smiled at Recca and waved shyly, whilst Mikagami snorted derisively.
"I wondered where Haruno had run off to," the swordsman muttered, running a cool glare over the pink haired kunoichi, "I thought I told you to stay close?"
The pink haired girl stuttered something that sounded like an explanation, only to be silenced by a look from her male teammate.
"No excuses," the swordsman muttered, "you gave your word that your infantile crush on Uchiha wouldn't affect your performance, now get over here."
Sakura sulked and trudged back to stand with her team, scowling at a grinning Ino, whilst Team 8 made their own noisy (Kiba) entrance, Kiba getting into a yelling match with the still irate Naruto over who was going to kick who's ass in the exams.
"You're nothing Uzumaki!" Kiba boasted, "Akamaru could take you down all by himself!"
"He'd have to!" Naruto retorted, "I'd have taken you down before you could even blink!"
Kiba and Akamaru snarled and tried to stare down the blonde, only for him to get up in their faces and do the same, sparks flying around them like miniature thunderbolts.
"Would you guys do everyone a favour and just shut up?"
The rookies looked up to see a blue haired genin walk over to them, looking annoyed.
"A bunch of wet behind the ear rookies, fresh out of the academy?" he muttered, "What do you think this is? A field trip?"
Mikagami raised an eyebrow delicately, a sign of irritation to those who knew him well, as he fingered Ensui, ready to fillet the bespectacled teen. "And you would be?" he probed cautiously.
The teen snorted, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Yakuushi Kabuto, what's it to ya?" he sniffed, before nodding over his shoulder, "You all need to wake up and look around."
The group did so, instantly feeling the killing intent washing over them from the other teams. Hinata, Sakura and Shikamaru shivered as goose bumps ran up their spines, the Nara actually seeming to snap out of his 'to-lazy-to-live' daze.
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"Those thugs are from Amegakure," Kabuto explained, "the village hidden in the rain, which shares territory with the hidden mist village." He pushed up his glasses again and nodded towards the growling Nins. "They've got fuses shorter than a sick moth's lifespan, so quiet down before they decide to beat the crap out of you."
Yanagi looked at Kabuto curiously, wondering at his age and caught the teen's attention. "Kabuto-san," she asked, "is this your second time entering the exam?"
"Seventh." The genin replied, "Twice a year for almost four years now."
"Man you must really suck!" Kiba guffawed, Akamaru adding his own two ryo by barking at the teen.
"Cute." Kabuto muttered, pulling out a deck of cards, "Though it has given me a wide database to study."
Sasuke stepped forward, looking intrigued. "You got any information of Rock Lee from Konoha, Ishijima Domon, Hanabishi Recca, Hanabishi Naruto and Sabaku no Gaara?" he asked, to which Kabuto smirked.
"You know their names already?" the older teen asked, shuffling the deck, "That'll make it easier." Kabuto pushed Chakra into the respective cards and read the details out loud for all to hear.
"Rock lee: A year older than you lot. Missions: 20 D-rank, 11 C-rank." He scanned the card carefully before nodding. " It seems his specialty is Taijutsu, only base ninjutsu at best. He's a first time contender. Team-mates: Hyuuga Neji and Tenten."
Hinata flinched at her cousin's name and looked away, Naruto noticed this and raised an eyebrow, but didn't bother to find out why.
"Ishijima Domon:" Kabuto continued, "Your year, 15 D-rank, and one A rank…says here he's an immigrant to Konoha. Pretty well balanced offensive stats, and has a penchant for large weapons."
Domon glared at anyone that seemed to be snickering, before looking back as Kabuto continued.
"Hanabishi Recca: Same stats, another immigrant, says here he hopes to set up his own clan among the hierarchy in Konoha."
Recca frowned and pointed at the spectacled genin, knowing some of that info was private. "You sure know a lot about us," he muttered openly, "You stalking us or something?"
Kabuto scoffed and shuffled his deck to find Naruto's card, causing Recca to scowl suspiciously at how he'd avoided the question. The blue haired genin had some trouble with finding Naruto amongst his deck; not knowing that Kagero had adopted the blonde since the last update.
"Here he is:" he finally announced, "Uzumaki Naruto: same stats as Recca and Domon, Mastered Kage bunshin to pass the genin exam, recently adopted into the Hanabishi family; Report says his height is not to be discussed."
Naruto growled and glared at Ino and Sakura, pushing the top of his blade out with his thumb, causing them to shiver.
Kabuto looked at the last card and frowned. "Sabaku no Gaara:" he read, "8 C-ranks and a B-rank." he whistled at that, stating that not many genin get B-rank missions, seemingly ignoring team seven's accomplishment, much to the trio's ire.
"Since he's from Sunagakure, I've got next to no info on him," the bespectacled genin muttered, "other than that he returned from every mission unscathed." He looked at the Uchiha, holding his gaze carefully. "Without a scratch."
The rookies gulped, looking decidedly nervous at the thought.
'Even I get battered around a bit on missions.' Domon muttered, shivering at the memory of their latest exploit, 'If not for Tetsugan…that wave mission would've been a lot worse…'
Sasuke shivered in anticipation, before sending a critical gaze towards the redheaded Suna-nin. Gaara noticed the glare and looked back at the teen, his gaze cool and aloof, as if the raven haired gennin wasn't worth the effort.
"Every hidden village has sent its teams here to be tested, even Otogakure," Kabuto explained, catching the genins' attention before snorting offhandedly, "but they're a recently formed nation, and thus not as influential as the others."
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Naruto, having been exposed to it for most of his life, sensed a subtle change in the rooms killing intent, and scowled at the apparently incredulous Kabuto. 'And the idiot tells us to watch our mouths?' he muttered, gripping his sword in preparation for an ambush.
"It doesn't matter anyway." Recca snorted, looking unimpressed. The others looked at him and he grinned confidently, holding up a clenched fist. "Genin, Chunin, Jounin...anyone that stands in my way, I'll kick their ass!"
As expected, all the killing intent in the room swung towards the flame user, causing his fellow rookies, sans those who were used to him, to question his sanity.
They were about to be dog piled upon by the other candidates; which Sasuke suspected was Recca's intention from the start, when fortunately, Morino Ibiki decided to interrupt with his ever so tactful approach.
"SHUT UP YOU LOUSY BASTARDS!"
Naruto covered his ears, grinning cheekily as the proctor finished yelling. "OH! My virgin ears!" he whined in a high-pitched voice, causing Recca to snort and Domon to guffaw loudly, the mood lightening somewhat, even a few proctors cracking a grin at the blonde's antics.
"A smart ass huh?" Ibiki stated, smirking mirthlessly, "we'll see how smart you are on the test, get in your seat, I'll hand the papers out soon."
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The assembled examinees listened as the scarred proctor explained the rules, before telling them to get to work.
'This looks…familiar…' Naruto thought, blinking as he ran his eyes over the test with a sweatdrop.
Sitting in his hands, word for word, was an exact duplicate of the exam they tried to use on him in the academy.
'The bastards on the council must have been really getting desperate in their attempts to flunk me', the blonde realized, 'if they resorted to this type of tactic back when I wasn't even a genin.'
This time however, Naruto was well prepared to tackle the questions, having faced it down before, thus knowing it's weaknesses.
'Nii-san shouldn't have any problems with cryptography,' he muttered, 'and Domon's no slouch when he puts his mind to it when it comes to puzzles.'
The blonde smirked as he eyed a very familiar question, before blinking as he noticed someone sitting to his right, nearly falling off his seat at the sight of the Hyuuga heiress in all her timid glory.
'Damn!' he muttered eyes wide as saucers, 'Either this girl's a master of stealth, or I'm more out of it than I thought…she didn't even register on my senses!'
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Within the blonde's mind, his demonic father sighed and shook his head exasperatedly.
'Naruto…I trained you to detect people by their killing intent,' he muttered, 'but you're blind if a person means you no harm!'
He palmed his forehead and groaned, lamenting his own lack of foresight. 'I knew I should have told him that part,' he muttered, ' but then I never thought there was someone that DIDN'T want to carve him open like a turkey…'
Kyuubi sighed and shook his head, shrugging slightly.
"Ah well, I'm sure he'll figure it out."
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"L-lets do our best!" the shy kunoichi encouraged, smiling shyly at her secret crush. Naruto nodded, casting a wary glare at her from the corner of his eyes.
'Gotta keep my eyes on her,' he decided, 'sneaking up on me like that…she's definitely up to something.'
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Halfway into the exam and Domon was stumped.
The giant had answered a few of the questions regarding puzzles, but most of the rest were theoretical or involved code breaking, and he had reached his limit in those regards.
He was actually considering trying to cheat when a kunai whizzed past his head and stabbed into the test behind him.
"Number 102, you fail." The proctor responsible muttered dully, before being blown of his feet as Mt. Domon erupted.
"YOU ALMOST STABBED ME WITH THAT THING TEME!" Domon roared, unconsciously pulling off Iruka's 'giant evil head' jutsu in his irate state. "DO THAT AGAIN AND I'LL SHOVE THAT CLIPBOARD SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL BE SHITTING OUT SPLINTERS!!!"
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Ibiki blinked as the giant's head deflated, leaving a traumatized proctor that needed to be carried away on a stretcher, bleating like a sheep.
'Either that was Iruka's jutsu or I'm a masochist…' the ANBU commander muttered, ignoring the looks of irony the multi-verse leveled at him.
What, can't Ibiki prefer a cuddle at night to kinky sex?
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As Domon seethed silently he noticed a mirror hanging from a vent in the ceiling with the answers to someone's test reflected on it clear as day.
'Dunno who's doing it, but I'll take it!' he muttered, making sure no one was looking his way.
Ahead of the giant, Tenten shivered and looked around warily, having the distinct impression that she had been caught out, but saw no reaction from the proctors.
'Must be imagining things.' She theorized, before turning back to her paper.
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Unbeknownst to Domon or Tenten, Recca had also spotted the mirror, and had just taken down the last answer from the sheet before cursing as he realized that Naruto was too far down the aisles to see it and would have to rely on his own intuition if he hoped to pass the test.
'Hang in there bro.' Recca muttered, gripping his pencil tight enough to snap it in two, "All you need to do is hang onto one point and well be through this hurdle!"
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Naruto sighed and shook his head exasperatedly; so far he'd answered only one question on the damn thing, the one that had bugged him at the academy.
'Knew looking into it was worth it.' He snickered, remembering the long hours he'd spent stubbornly trying to work out the equation, much to Mikagami's ire. 'Still leaves me stumped on the other eight.' He muttered sullenly, glaring at the test paper as if hoping to set it alight.
Hinata surprised him at that moment by tapping him gently on the elbow, causing the blonde to jump slightly. "N-Naruto-kun," the shy kunoichi stuttered, "y-you can look at my answers…if you like."
Naruto blinked, staring at the Hyuuga in confusion as she flushed slightly. 'What's this girl's game?' he wondered, 'She doesn't strike me as the sneaky type, yet she slipped under my guard.' He frowned at the girl, causing her flush to deepen. 'And those actions…is that stutter an act?'
He looked into her eyes to try and read her as his father had instructed, only to blink as a weird rush shot up his spine.
For a moment the two genin were looking directly into each other's eyes, and time seemed to stop all round them as a result.
Pale white gazed into electric blue and vice-versa, a strange sort of pull keeping them from looking away, making it seem as if they were being drawn into the other's eyes like moths to a flame.
Naruto felt his heart skip a beat and the moment ended, Hinata was looking away, flushed in the face as the blonde tried to catch his breath.
'W-what the hell?' Naruto gasped, shaking his head, 'What WAS that?!'
Whatever it was, the blonde decided not to take a gamble on it, and gently turned the girl down, thanking her all the same.
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Hinata was blushing so hard she almost couldn't reply to the blonde's polite refusal, barely managing out a weak apology as it was.
She couldn't believe she just looked him in the eyes like that, those deep cerulean eyes that reminded her of two lakes. The pupils were unusually shaped, but coming from a family with unusual eye coloration, you tended to ignore such things.
The fact was, whatever way you looked at them, Naruto's eyes were so warm and deep that the Hyuuga heiress felt as if she could drown in them.
'Naruto-kun…' she thought warmly, placing a hand over her heart.
The shy girl listened as Ibiki explained the rules for last question to them, wondering if she had gotten the answers right during the exam, and was shocked when Naruto's hand rose in the air, trembling.
At first she felt her heart clench in concern for the blonde and reached out to say something, only to let out a small squeak as he slammed his hand down on the table so hard it split in half.
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"Don't take that tone with me!" Naruto roared over the shocked silence, "I don't quit and I don't run! I'll take that stupid question!" He pointed at himself with his thumb, smirking confidently. "Even if I become a genin for the rest of my life, I'll become Hokage even if I have to rely on my stubbornness alone!"
The blonde sneered and gave the ANBU commander the finger "So bring it on you walking scratching post! I ain't afraid of you!"
The assorted Proctors shivered and moved away from Ibiki nervously, wanting to get as far away from ground zero as possible. The reason being that last person who insulted the ANBU commander had been found beaten to death with his own skull, despite all medical and forensic logic.
Everyone in the room stared at the genin in trepidation, several wondering if Ibiki was going to go all jounin on his ass, but the proctor merely grunted in amusement.
"Little man," the torture specialist smirked, "I AM impressed, but are you really prepared to be a genin for the rest of your life?"
Naruto snorted, and flipped the bird again. "Bring it on, mister proctor."
Ibiki frowned at this, before running his eyes over the assorted genin remaining and sighed; the blonde had ruined his fun. "For all those still present…" he paused for effect, watching the genin lean forwards, "You've just passed the first exam."
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There was silence for a few minutes, in which Ibiki began to explain himself, before three audible snapping noises were heard.
"YOU BASTARD!!!!" the trio roared, slamming Ibiki into the wall so hard he left a dent, through sheer lungpower alone.
As such, when Anko dramatically entered the room, it was to find Ibiki embedded in a wall, three enraged looking genin, and a chibified group consisting of traumatized genin and proctors huddling in a corner.
'What the hell happened here?' she wondered, miffed that her dramatic entrance had been ignored, still a little annoyed at having lost to Kakashi at street tag.
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"This is the arena for the second exam: training ground 44." Anko explained with a smirk, "We among the jounin affectionately refer to it as the Forest of death."
"I can see why…" Naruto muttered in a deadpan tone, staring at the remains of a dog, covered in flies and maggots, earning a chuckle from the surrounding examinees. Anko however, was not so impressed with his smart mouth, and the blonde found it necessary to dodge a kunai aimed at his face, only to blink as another dug into his cheek.
Anko licked the blood off the startled blonde's cheek and smirked. "You noisy ones are always the first to go," she purred, "spilling all that delicious-eh?"
The jounin blinked as the business end of a kunai jabbed into her spine, held by an annoyed looking Recca.
"Stop sexually harassing my Outoto and back off." the teen warned, digging the point of the kunai in deeper to stress the point, causing the jounin to growl at him. The flame wielder merely frowned at her, before shivering as something wet rubbed against his cheek.
Recca turned his head slightly, only to let out a decidedly un-masculine shriek as a massive tongue returned the woman's kunai to her. 'What's with this freakin exam?!' the enjutsu-shi mentally wondered, shivering at the sight of the grass nin's massive tongue as it retreated back into the nin's head.
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Naruto shivered as he stepped away, Anko having released him to converse with the grass-nin with the freakishly long tongue. 'That was creepy,' he muttered, flushing slightly at the memory of Anko's assets against his back 'yet some part of me didn't mind…'
"You damn lucky bastard." Domon said, raising his eyebrows suggestively, causing the blonde to flush beetroot.
"Urusei!" he yelled, "I don't fall for old women!"
The examinees shivered as the air froze behind the nervous blonde, a red-eyed Anko looming over him, senbon clutched between her fingers.
"Meep…"
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Naruto spent the next fifteen minutes dodging senbon needles aimed at his vital points whilst Recca shook his head in exasperation and Domon roared with laughter.
The grass Nin snickered rubbing his tongue against his teeth as he felt a thrill go through him at the sound of the blonde's shrieks.
'Still as hot tempered as ever… ne, Anko-chan?'
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With her rage sufficiently vented, for the moment, Anko proceeded to explain the purpose of the scrolls while Naruto pulled senbon out of his ass.
"Dammit, I THOUGHT she looked familiar." The blonde muttered, wincing as he pulled another out, "She's that crazy lady from before!"
Domon nodded, as he reached for his medicine kit, preparing to use disinfectant, just as Recca came back with their scroll, shivering slightly.
'I'm so glad we didn't fill in those forms.' The enjutsu-shi thought, snickering, 'Let the witch get in trouble, we'll just hide behind Domon again if she starts anything.'
Domon didn't like the look on Recca's face and made a mental note to stay as far away from the sadistic proctor as he could without leaving the continent.
"One last thing." Anko called out before the gates were opened, "Stay alive!"
'Yeah right.' Naruto thought sarcastically, 'Like I spent the last thirteen years of my life suffering just to let a bunch'a trees finish me off?'
Team seven dashed through the gates as soon as they opened, Naruto giving the sadistic kunoichi the finger as he passed her.
Anko smirked, shaking her head appreciatively as the blonde disappeared before she could retaliate. 'Kid's got balls,' she admitted, 'if he were only a few years older…' She snorted and shook her head, amused with herself, before heading off to munch on some dango.
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And the exam has begun? How will team seven deal with a sennin class opponent? Will Sasuke survuve his encounter with the great snake? Tune in to find out!
Kakashi: (mumbling) I'm not compensating for something...
Kyugan: Please, GAI has a bigger thingee than you.
Kakashi: He does not!
Kyugan: Ah, you speak form experience then.
Kakashi: I hate you.
R&R!!!