We got into the middle of the woods when Edward set me down. I was still gasping for clean air, shivering from the thirst that was threatening to explode within me. Edward just wrapped his arms around me and held me tight, whispering soothing words in my ear.
"Bella, shh. Everything's ok. I'm here, Bella. Calm down," he whispered as I was in hysterics.
"Edward I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't control myself. I just-"
He bent his head down and brushed his lips against mine to hush me. He was whispering. "Bella you must be careful." He sighed. "I suppose I can't leave you alone for any amount of time." He moved his head back.
"Edward." I breathed, backing away from him to lean against a tree. "I am so ashamed. I was stupid, and I almost killed Angela." I was starting to calm down a bit.
"Yes," he continued. "It was stupid of you to think that you could go into Port Angeles. However, you lasted so long around all those people. You did better than I ever could." He walked to where I was leaning. "You accomplished something that took me thirty years to overcome. I'm proud of you, Bella." He kissed my forehead.
"Really?" I said quietly into his chest.
"Of course."
I looked into his eyes. "Good." I composed myself and straightened up. "Now, do me a favor."
He looked at me, surprised. "What can I do for you?"
I smiled. "Promise me that you won't tell Emmett about this. It's bad enough that I became a vicious monster. I don't want to be made fun of on top of that."
Edward chuckled. "No, love. I won't say a word."
I kissed him. "Good. Now let's go home."
He gave me that perfect smile. "Sure. Let's go."
I turned to start running, but Edward didn't move from his spot. I turned back to look at him. He was still. Too still, staring out into the distance.
"Edward? What's wrong?" I asked, walking back up next to him.
He still didn't move. Instead, he held up a hand to quiet me. What was he doing? Did he smell some prey? I wanted to ask more questions, but I didn't say anything more.
Finally, after a moment, I whispered, "Edward?"
Like melting ice, he started to move again, his expression loosening up. "It was nothing. Nevermind." He smiled. "Let's go." And without another word we were off.
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2 weeks later:
I never really saw Angela or any other people since the accident. Not only was I afraid, but Edward was afraid too. It was hard on everyone because they were worried about me, despite the times I told them not to be.
The ocurrence in the woods wasn't ever mentioned again, and I dind't know if I wanted to bring it up again to Edward. Whatever it was, it had his attention.
------------
"Edward?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"I have to."
"No you don't."
We were in the living room, discussing a little venture I wanted to do. Of course, Edward was set against it.
"Edward," I pleaded. "Your parents were dead when you were changed, so you never had to go through this. Please try to understand how I feel."
His face softened from the stern look he previously had. "Bella," he breathed. He walked to were I was standing, rigid, and wrapped his arms around me. I couldn't help but melt.
"Bella, I try as much as I can to understand, but that still doesn't mean you can go see him. I can't allow it. I'm sorry." He rested his head on top of mine.
As much as I wanted to stay like that forever, I pulled away from him and turned so my back was facing him.
"Edward. I...I feel so alone." I hoped my guilt strategy would work. However, I also hoped that I wouldn't have to revert to my evil ways: playing the I-can't-be-without-you-like-that-ever-again card.
I turned to face him, and he had a confused expression.
"What do you mean, Bella? We're all here. You're not alone."
I sighed. "I don't mean like that. As much as you all are my family, and I do love you all very much, I want my own flesh and blood to be with me. I want to see him, Edward." I thought maybe putting his name at the end would emphasize my tone.
"Bella…you can't. I wish the world was different just so we could be happy, but you just can't. Can we please stop discussing it?"
"No."
"Well, then I can't say anything more."
We stood in silence.
I wanted him to comfort me, tell me everything's going to be ok. That I could go see Charlie whenever I wanted, and I would never grow old, and I wouldn't have to leave my life behind. That we could live forever surrounded by family and by wolves forever.
I knew that wouldn't happen, so, I decided to take things into my own hands. However, my thoughts seemed to have run away from me again.
Edward eyes suddenly flashed wide open in alarm, and he flew to me, taking hold of both my arms so I couldn't move.
"What are you trying to do? Give me an ulcer?" he growled, his eyes fierce. It startled me.
"Edward, I-"
"Bella, you can't do this to me. Do you know what would have happened? The whole thing played out in Alice's head. You go to see him, and he sees you, thinks you're diseased, and loses his mind. Bella, you should think about what you're doing!"
"Edward…" I sobbed.
He looked like he was about to lecture me, but I guess the sight of me discharged all the anger. His muscles relaxed, and he let go of me.
"Bella, I'm sorry about that, but I only care about you. You know that." He looked me in the eye.
"I know. I'm sorry. We can drop the discussion now, ok? Really, I won't go." I dropped my eyes to the floor, sadness filling every inch of my body.
"I'm sorry Bella…" Edward breathed. He stepped away from me.
I stood there, motionless, trying to figure out what to do next. I tried the first thing that popped into my head.
"Edward, I'm going to go take a walk," I said quietly.
Edward face tensed, then relaxed. "Ok," he said in a whisper. His eyes looked sad. Truly sad. I felt bad, but I didn't do anything about it then. I wanted to think.
I went out the front door this time, and headed down the driveway. I knew I couldn't go see Charlie, but I at least wanted to check up on Jacob. Alice wouldn't be able to see my future then, but by now they should know where I'm planning to go. Since Edward wasn't already out here stopping me, I guess they didn't have a problem with it either, but I could tell Edward would be worried.
I was walking down the long driveway at a human walking pace. What was the rush? I liked being out of the house for a short while.
I looked at the trees and stared at the ground for what seemed like seconds, but then I looked at my watch. It had been two hours.
"Oh no," I said to myself. Edward would be worried. I realized that I was still miles away from La Push, so I decided to turn back. I could find Jacob tomorrow.
Suddenly, I heard a noise in the trees. It was moving around. That was strange. Animals usually weren't so close to the road during the day like this, and I could tell it was a bigger something. I squinted, keeping still, and listened while searching the trees with my eyes.
I saw a figure. A human-looking figure. Who was that? Why was someone in the trees in the middle of nowhere? Usually, if one was to hike, they would go up into the mountains or something. The person was leaning on a tree, seeming to be facing me. I sniffed the air to see if I could catch a scent. Then it all came into place.
It wasn't human at all.