Reviewers! Authors! Lend me your ears! The long awaited invasion of Konoha begins...NOW!
Shizune: Wait WHAT?! (Bursts out of the bedroom, bedsheet wrapped around her) Where's Genma? He has to know!
Kyugan: Already does (Points to door) He told me to let you sleep.
Shizune (Sighs in relief, only to blink as an arm wraps around her) Tsu-Tsunade-sama?
Tsunade (Drunk to the gills) Put me on th' bottom willya?
Shizune: Eh? Bottom? What are you-TSUNADE-SAMA?!
Kyugan: O-kay...shouldn't be watching this (Watches the scene before him, slight nosebleed) Ah hell, roll camera, I can always tape it.
Shizune: TSUNADE-SAMAAAAAAA!
Attack of the sound and sand; Sabaku no Gaara!
Looking over at the stricken Uchiha, Naruto scowled; disgust, and some other foreign emotion battling for control of the blonde's features. "Normally I'd have taken your left arm," he growled, "but I happened to remember you're my teammate, no matter how much I hate your guts right now."
Sasuke gasped for breath as the Tenfuuin receded, looking over his shoulder in rage and horror at the one who maimed him.
"You forgot Sasuke," the blonde continued, "it isn't power that is valued to become a Shinobi; it's skills, brains, and above all," the blue eyes narrowed, "TEAMWORK."
Naruto snorted as the Uchiha continued to look at him, as if not understanding his own language. "But then, you never DID understand that last concept." He muttered sadly. And with that the blonde walked of, waving over at a startled Genma. "Proctor," he called out calmly, "he's finished this time."
The look Naruto leveled at the jounin caused him to resemble the Sandaime in his weaker moments, when his old bones caused him to show his age. "Call the damn medics before I remember he tried to kill me back there." The blonde muttered, before stomping up to the fighter's booth.
--
Sasuke knelt on the ground, arm covering his bloody stump as he stared at the dirt, eyes wide, and gasping for breath. He didn't even bother resisting as the medics carried him out on a stretcher; he just continued to stare straight ahead, the image of Naruto's angry, almost disappointed gaze, burned into his retinas.
'WHY?!' he howled mentally, cursing up at the lights as they passed by, the medic's reassurances falling on deaf ears, the image of those blue eyes gazing down at him disappointedly following him even as the pain soared up his arm.
Never had that word carried so much weight for the Uchiha.
--
Kakashi stared in shock as the medics tended to the crippled Uchiha, and then moaned at the implications. "Konoha's medical corps is nowhere near ready to deal with that type of injury." He muttered, "Sasuke's going to be handicapped for a while…"
Kagero raised an eyebrow, "You mean you could re-attach it?" she queried, looking intrigued.
"In time," Gai replied with a nod, shivering slightly, "but the procedure is long and draining, one mistake and you could further damage the arm and Sasuke." He sighed remorsefully, "If only Tsunade-sama was here…"
Kagero raised an eyebrow, remembering the name from somewhere. "Tsunade?" she prodded.
"One of the sannin," Kurenai explained, "the Sandaime's female student, and the grand-daughter of the Shodai Hokage."
Kakashi nodded "She's the most talented medical ninja in the world," he added, "but she left Konoha some time ago for…difficult reasons."
Kagero nodded in understanding, and looked down as she watched Naruto re-enter the booth as the medics carried off Sasuke.
--
Domon winced as the blonde entered, looking like he'd just come from a funeral. "Normally I'd mention something about overkill," the giant muttered, "but that bastard was asking for it."
"Tell me about it," Recca snorted, "you see the damage he did just running down the wall?"
Naruto said nothing during the exchange, but sat with his back against the wall, bangs covering his eyes. Fuko, concerned for the blonde, kneeled next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey" she asked "you okay?"
For a moment, Naruto didn't reply, then it passed and he raised his head, smiling at the girl, though it was a hollow version of the smile he usually wore. "Yeah, I'm fine." He chirped, though it sounded forced, as he shot the retreating medics a parting look, unable to see Sasuke through the crowded bodies.
The former Team Hokage frowned, but didn't question the blonde's words, each having felt somewhat similar at the Urabatosatsujin. Then, to the blonde's shock, something rapped him on the head, causing him to grab it and look up in shock to espy the towering shape of Domon, an annoyed look on his massive face.
"Rest up," the giant teen grunted, arms folded across his chest, "you're fighting Fuko next after all." He glared at the blonde, flames looming behind as he somehow grew a pair of horns and a tail. "And if you try what you just did to Uchiha," he growled, cracking his knuckles menacingly, "I'll crush your balls."
Naruto rubbed his head where the giant had hit him; sweat dropping at the giant's unique way of cheering him up. In the background, Recca and Fuko sighed and shook their heads, laughing at what a big softy their giant friend was.
--
Sarutobi was scowling at the faux Kazekage as he looked at the venerable elder, trembling in excitement. "Shall we?" the imposter asked, his aids dashing from his side, one setting off an explosion.
--
Naruto's head shot up as he leapt out of the booth. "Somethings going on up there." He yelled, landing in the arena.
"No shit!" Domon yelled, gripping his Zanbato and leaping after his teammate. "Oi! Proctor!" he roared out, "What th' hell's going on?!"
Genma eyed the Konoha genin as they appeared in the arena with a calm expression.
"We received a report that the sound was planning an attack on Konoha," he admitted tensely, "but it would seem that our would-be allies in Suna have joined them."
Naruto snorted, "Using the exams to sneak in," he spat on the ground, eyeing the scuffles breaking out, "the snake's clever I'll give him that."
Genma smirked in reply, eyeing the wave of enemies that were entering the arena warily. Just then, a medic appeared next to him, causing him to look up in surprise. "Uchiha Sasuke has disappeared!" the man yelled, looking like he'd been hit over the head pretty hard, "He was last seen headed towards the woods!"
Naruto blinked then growled in irritation looking around the stadium in annoyance. 'That baka!' the blonde hissed, clutching the katana sheath tightly, 'I should have cut off his damn leg!'
Genma groaned as he launched a shuriken at an enemy, before blocking an incoming opponent with a kunai. "Hanabishi! Ishijima!" he called out, catching the pranksters' attention. "Alert Kakashi to the situation," he ordered, "he will give you your orders."
The senbon chewing chunin slit the enemy's throat, turning to face the other opponents warily. "Mikagami, Kirisawa," he called out, "you stay here and back me up." Eyeing the group of five he smirked, "You brats are already chunin material, this shouldn't be a problem."
The trio and Fuko grinned, before the former dashed off to alert Kakashi, whilst Mikagami and the latter prepared to put their Madogu to good use.
"Just the two of us, eh Toki?" Fuko teased, eying their opponents, a pair of sand and sound ninja respectively.
Tokiya snorted, holding Ensui at his side, at the ready. "Domon would not approve." The swordsman muttered, smiling snidely, emptying another three canteens at once.
Fuko grinned as she vivisected one of her opponents with her Kaze no Tsume. "I'm sure you're too much of a gentleman to try anything." She teased, flipping out of reach of the other.
Said gentleman used his Hyomon ken technique to turn his opponents into shards of frozen meat, scattered on the rising wind.
--
Kakashi had just killed two opponents and was attempting to formulate a plan when one tried to take him from the rear, only to slump over with several stiletto knives in his spine. "Arigato, Kagero-san." The jounin offered appreciatively, catching his breath as Gai took out three more with his fast paced Taijutsu techniques, Lee aiding him in his endeavor.
"No problem at all, Hatake-san." The immortal kunoichi replied, allowing another handful of knives to slip into her hands as she eyed the enemies carefully.
'This isn't good.' Kakashi muttered over the din, 'at this rate things are sure to get messy.'
As if on cue, three quarters of his team landed in front of him.
"Sensei!" Naruto yelled, hurling a shuriken at an enemy, catching the poor bastard in the eye, "Sasuke's gone off by himself!"
Kakashi winced, shaking his head at the Uchiha's stubbornness. "Just my luck," he muttered, turning back to his team, "how was he?"
Domon snorted, "He had his freaking arm lopped off, how do you think he'd be?" the giant muttered sarcastically, causing the jounin to sweatdrop.
"Can't be helped then," Kakashi muttered, "we have to get him back before his pride, or his wounds, get him killed."
Recca used his tekko to deflect a shuriken, hurling it back at the enemy with the ease of long practice. "Any bets on both?" he asked snidely, throwing a few explosives at the attacking sound shinobi and grinning as they detonated around groin level.
"Count me in." the other two muttered in tandem, causing the jounin's sweatdrop to grow.
"There won't be a need for that," Kakashi muttered cautiously, "because I have a mission for you."
"Lemme guess," Recca cut in, rolling his eyes, "it goes something like: 'Please go save the village's precious Uchiha from his own fat ego, so I don't get yelled at for letting him get killed', right?"
Kakashi winced, realizing that he'd lost a lot of respect with the trio in their month of absence. "Naruto, Recca, Domon" he assured them, "I didn't mean to hurt you guys…" Recca held up a hand, cutting off the Jounin in mid apology.
"Save it," the enjutsu-shi muttered, "we're over it, and we're stronger than the prick, even with you training him." he smirked, "We'll drag his ass back here, though we may have to break it first."
Domon deflected a kunai aimed at a slumbering civilian and grunted in agreement. "Uchiha may be a stuck up, arrogant prick…" The giant smirked over his shoulder, "but he's OUR stuck up, arrogant prick!"
--
Kakashi blinked, and then sighed; relieved his team was still intact. "Alright then," he muttered, looking up at them, "all you have to do is bring him back here, do nothing else." He flipped through a few hand seals and placed his palm on the back of an unconscious civilian.
"Kuchiyose no jutsu!"
When the smoke cleared, a pug dog was sitting on the man's back.
"Eh? What's with the mutt?" Domon muttered, only to blink as the canine hopped onto Naruto's head and looked the giant in the eye.
"Hey buddy!" it growled out, "Don't call me a cute little doggy!"
The trio sweatdropped at the canine's choice of words, baffled. "He didn't say that…" Recca muttered, as Naruto plucked the thing off his head by the coat, getting into a glaring competition with it.
"I know you're hiding back there, Shikamaru." Kakashi muttered, causing the pineapple-headed genin to come out of his corner, muttering. "You and Lee can back them up," he added, eyeing his rival as he sent a man flying through the air, his footprint imbedded in the man's face. "That is, if you don't mind me borrowing your student, Gai?"
The Taijutsu master did his nice guy pose, even as he punched a sound Nin through the arena wall with all the pleasantness of a wrecking ball. "But of course!" he yelled, "Anything to encourage Lee's flames of youth!"
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"LEE!"
Domon separated the two by slamming his sword between them, causing them to ram their faces into the sides. "Save it." He muttered, making for the hole, "We gotta beat feet!"
Recca snickered behind the giant's back. "You sure you shoulda stopped them?" he teased, "They coulda forced the enemy to commit seppuku just by doing that."
"If I see them do that up close again, I'LL be committing frikking seppuku!" the Giant countered as he leapt out the hole after the pooch.
Naruto chuckled and patted Lee on the shoulder, "He's…not used to guy's showing affection in public."
'That's putting it mildly…' Recca muttered, as the four dashed out, not noticing another blur following them as the jounin turned to their attention to more important matters, namely the nasty people who were trying to kill them.
--
Uchiha Sasuke winced as he felt his arm twinge. The medics had covered the wound with a special seal that would ensure that infection didn't set in, without the wound healing over, since they DID plan on reattaching his limb at some point in time. But as a side effect, the wound was still raw, and the slightest breeze irritated the exposed flesh.
'That damn Naruto!' he hissed, 'Even with these eyes…and that power…' He growled as the Tenfuuin reacted to his rage, 'All the good this thing did…I didn't even see him move!'
In his mind's eye, he could still remember the look on the dobe's face, as he flew at him in that weird kenjutsu move, the Ryukansen Tsumuji. Those eyes had been filled with emotions he could not identify, but with a conviction he recognized all too well.
'Itachi' the avenger hissed, 'he has the same eyes as Itachi…' he noticed the damage to the surrounding plant life and smirked. 'Looks like I'm getting close. '
--
"We're being followed." Recca muttered, not looking back as he continued to advance behind Pakkun.
"Yeah," the canine confirmed, "one's really close, and there are at least eight…no nine catching up fast, following it." He frowned, "Odd…the closest one seems to use the same conditioner as me."
Domon growled and gripped his sword as he sensed the closest one coming within range of his senses. "Should we deal with that one?" he asked, "If it's a scout, they might stop following long enough to find out what happened to him."
Naruto sniffed the air slightly, fox senses on high alert, then sighed in exasperation. "Dammit," he cursed, "we so didn't need this…" He eyed his teammates and shook his head, "Forehead's following us."
The group, with the exception of Lee, moaned and shook their heads. The last thing they needed was a weak little nobody to baby-sit; they had enough on their plates as it was.
(I apologise to any sakura fans out there, if such things exist, I have never, and will never, like that violent harpy.)
Recca growled after a moment and shook his head, a stubborn look in his gaze. "She's a fellow Konoha genin though," he reminded them, "we gotta let her catch up."
"She'll slow us down," Pakkun admitted, but I doubt Sasuke's gotten too far," he nodded, "and she'll be safer with us."
Lee made a fist, "YOSH! I will single handedly protect Sakura-san with my life!" he swore, eyes bursting into flame. Everyone else blinked at the teen as he sang praises for the love of his life. 'This guy has the weirdest tastes.' They muttered, eerily in tandem.
The group dropped their speed a little, making sure to keep moving all the while. When the pink haired genin arrived in all her big-browed glory they hardly batted an eyelid. "Haruno," Naruto muttered, pointedly not looking at the kunoichi, "do you have any idea what the hell you're doing?"
"I'm here to save Sasuke-kun!" the girl exclaimed, shooting a glare at the blonde that he ignored.
Domon snorted, shaking his head in disbelief; "How?" he asked, not a hint of sarcasm in his tone, nope NO sarcasm at all. The girl twitched, not believing it for a second and looked ready to make a comment when she noticed the look in the giant's eye.
There were many things with eyes like that; they normally loomed over you from across a big oak desk, tapping their fingers, or from the depths of caves, letting out loud rumbling noises and gusts of sulfur.
"Uh…I don't know." she admitted, slumping slightly in defeat.
Shikamaru moaned, shaking his head at the girl's antics. 'Just great,' he complained, gazing heavenward in mid-leap, 'what did I do to deserve this?'
Naruto shook his head, exasperation on every line of his face. "Dammit Haruno," he muttered, "do you have any idea how badly you've jeopardized this mission?"
Sakura flinched, before glared at the blonde. "Urusei, Bakimono!" she spat venomously, reaching for her kunai holster as she spoke, "I'll never let you hurt Sasuke-kun again!"
The girl soon found herself on the receiving end of three massive walls of killing intent, causing her to almost miss her step.
"What did you say you ugly bitch?" Recca growled, eyes like flints as he hefted several gunpowder balls between his fingers.
Domon's visage matched his title perfectly as he glared over his shoulder at the girl. "You got some sort of death wish?" he asked, reaching for his sword hilt menacingly.
Before the startled girl could begin to stutter an apology, Lee leapt between the two genin, arms outstretched. "Please forgive Sakura-san!" he implored, "She doesn't know what she's saying!"
The two rivals contemplated ignoring their comrade, but eventually abated in favour of leaping forwards after Pakkun. The girl stuttered in terror as Naruto's slit pupiled gaze brushed her own for a moment as he dashed after them.
"Consider yourself lucky," the blonde growled, "if it weren't for Lee, I'd have cut off your arm to match the bastard's." He looked at his scared, bushy-browed friend and nodded. "I'll respect your wishes on this matter," he promised, "as a friend."
Lee blinked as the blonde dashed ahead of them, before lowering his head in gratitude. "Arigatou, Naruto-kun."
'Man…these guys are seriously scary.' Shikamaru thought with a shiver as he sped up to match the trio's pace, 'almost as bad as mom in the morning.'
Now this was a bit unfair to be true; there were many things decidedly more terrifying than Mrs. Nara first thing in the morning. But then they were supposed to look horrible all the time, and they most certainly didn't stand at the bottom of the stairs yelling at you to get out of bed just as you'd gotten to the best part of your guilty wet dream involving quite a lot of young women who liked nothing more than to gaze at the clouds whilst wearing nothing at all…
'Damn!' Shikamaru cursed, proceeding forwards in an odd, crouched run, 'Think cold! Cold dammit!'
Naruto noticed the lazy genin's odd gait and would have commented but Pakkun headed off in a different direction and he was forced to change direction to keep up.
--
Gaara hated running from a fight.
The reason he hated it was because 'Mother' would screech at him for failing to give 'her' blood, and right now the demented voice in his skull was hitting the higher decibels and was still going strong.
"Gaara…you recovered?" Kankurou asked cautiously, just in case he had to dodge a pile of sand.
Gaara merely growled, before smirking as the decibel count lowered somewhat, "We're being followed." He stated, as his siblings blinked in shock, before eyeing each other seriously.
"I'll slow 'em down." Kankurou muttered, casting a frown at his older sister. "Don't you say anything Temari, you're still low on chakra and no-one's seen me fight yet."
The middle sibling smirked, readying his puppet, "You help Gaara." He ordered, the blonde kunoichi scowled but nodded, watching as the older of her two younger siblings fell behind to wait for their opponent
--
Pakkun growled, "No good, those other guys are catching up," he muttered "the girl's slowed us down too much."
Sakura grumbled to herself but had the decency to look embarrassed.
"Great, so what do we do?" Recca muttered, eyeing the surroundings eagerly, "Torch the place?"
"Bad idea," Shikamaru cut in quickly, shivering at the mere thought, "it hasn't rained in weeks; the whole forest would go up."
Domon shivered, shooting a glare over his shoulder at his rival. "Don't you even think of it Hanabishi!" he warned, "I like my skin the way it is, not extra crispy!"
Recca grumbled, irked at not being able to summon his dragons, whilst Shikamaru let out a sigh of relief. "The way I see it," the Nara muttered, "we have an ambush or be ambushed situation going on." He held up a hand, lifting his index finger, "First off, we have to move silently and get to them first."
He held up another finger, "Then, concealing ourselves in a convenient location, we ambush them to deal the maximum amount of damage." The lazy genin sighed, shaking his head in annoyance, "But as Orochimaru's subordinates, these guys are no doubt familiar to the terrain."
Naruto eyed the genin, a glimmer of respect in his slit-pupiled gaze. "For a lazy bastard, you sure are well informed." He muttered with a smirk, earning a dismissive shrug from Shikamaru.
"Plugging my ears would take too much effort;" he replied, "anyway, these guys were no doubt assembled for this very mission, they'd have to be high level and well in tune with each other." He snorted, "Whilst all we have is a Gorilla…"
Domon twitched, a vein on his forehead pulsing as a sign of irritation.
"A pyromaniac…"
Recca flipped the lazy genin the bird.
"A walking fashion disaster that's just out of hospital."
Lee raised an eyebrow, looking around in innocent confusion.
"A loudmouth troublemaker…"
Naruto snorted but said nothing.
"A kunoichi with no useful skills."
Sakura glared death at the genin, who ignored her.
"A dog, and a coward."
Lee blinked, "A coward?" he wondered, "Where is he?"
Naruto snorted, shaking his head at his friend's naiveté. "He was referring to himself, Lee." The blonde muttered, smirking as the older genin flushed and Shikamaru nodded unashamedly.
"Tactics can win a battle where numbers would only slow us down," the lazy genin recited, "I recommend one person staying back to stall them while the rest catch up with that idiot Sasuke."
Sakura was about to yell at the genin when Naruto silenced her with a glare. "No comments from the tag-along." He muttered, causing her to huff and look away in defeat.
"Wouldn't two be better?" Recca asked, frowning at the thought of abandoning one of their comrades, earning a nod from Shikamaru.
"Normally, but think about it; Lee's just out of hospital, Sakura's useless, and I'm low on chakra." He looked at the trio analytically, "You three have the best teamwork out of all of us, and Pakkun's needed to track Sasuke."
"Still, I don't like it." Naruto muttered with a scowl "I say we split into two, then three stall them while the rest go on."
"Relax," Shikamaru snorted "I'm not gonna be killed so easy." he smirked wryly "And besides, the Kagemane was originally designed for use in delay tactics."
"They're catching up!" Pakkun growled, "And they don't smell friendly!"
The trio frowned in thought, before Recca grinned, "Alright," he agreed, "but if you die, don't you dare come back to haunt us!"
"Mendokuse," Shikamaru moaned with a smirk, "sounds like too much work."
And with that said, he fell back as the six dashed on.
--
The sound team were chasing after their prey when the leader noticed several branches were broken, as if a large group had just passed through.
'Heh…they're still amateurs…' he muttered, motioning to his team to step forward. 'I mean come on, misleading the enemy has to be the most basic of basics!'
--
Pakkun's eyes widened, "The enemy is still advancing!" he barked, looking over his shoulder in concern.
Sakura's eyes widened in realization, "He ran away!" she accused, glaring behind her in accusation, "The coward!"
BAM!
Lee yelped and caught the girl as she stumbled, nursing a bruised jawbone.
"Shut your mouth." Naruto growled, his fist slightly red from the blow he'd just landed in the Nara's defense, "Shikamaru isn't like you…he's no coward, no matter what he says."
"He's like a lazy version of Mikagami," Domon rationalized with a smirk, "if he says he'll do something, he'll do it."
"Besides," Recca added, grinning at the shiner on the girl's face, "the DEADWEIGHT has no right to be dissing others.'
--
Shikamaru suppressed a sneeze, and then grinned at the trapped sound shinobi as they mimicked his actions. "Kagemane a success." he muttered, eyeing the trees with a scowl. "You sure took your sweet time…Asuma-sensei."
Asuma chuckled, tossing down the sound nin he'd incapacitated in the trees, before turning to the eight being held in the Kagemane. "Evening all, don't suppose anyone's got an ashtray on them?" he gestured to the woods around him, "Wouldn't wanna start a fire here, the old man gets a little hot under the collar about the environment if you catch my drift." The chain-smoking jounin eyed the worried Oto-nins carefully, "No-one?" he asked "Too bad, too bad…"
He flicked the cigarette butt with the ease of long practice, earning a screech of pain as it lodged in one of the captive nin's eyes. "Guess I'll have to get nasty." The younger Sarutobi sighed, pulling out his trench knives, "I really hate wasting a good smoke."
--
Kankurou swore as he battled with the Aburame, the bastard had his damn bugs everywhere and they were trying their merry best to eat his chakra up by the maw-full.
'Little bastards,' he hissed, swatting some away from him, 'lets see how he handles this!'
He separated the head of Karasu and launched it at the genin, only for the secret weapon to fall to the forest floor below. "WHAT?!" the cat-suited genin choked as he finally noticed the bugs swarming all over him, "When did you?!"
"I dislike having to repeat myself." Shino muttered, panting heavily as a result of having inhaled some of the puppet's poison.
Kankurou blinked, and then remembered how the Aburame had tracked Sasuke to here. "Then…you…"
Shino nodded, "Yes…there's a female bug on you…I placed it there at the start of the scuffle."
Kankurou cursed as the bugs continued to devour his chakra, whilst Shino collapsed in a heap.
'The poison is setting in.' the Aburame realized, 'Gomen Sasuke…it appears I cannot back you up as I'd planned.'
--
Sasuke stared in horror as Gaara launched himself at the avenger, his transformed arm lashing out and actually dragging the demented sand genin towards his prey.
The raven-haired teen let out a curse; he'd used up his Chidori back at the stadium, and lacked the ability to perform it again. As such, he was limited to his Katon jutsu skills, which fortunately, he could perform one handed.
'Practicing after the wave mission came in handy.' He muttered as he launched a Goukakyuu at the monster, only to curse as he noticed it had no effect. 'Dammit!' he yelled, 'The Chidori…it's the only way!'
He felt the curse seal activate and channeled the lightning chakra down his arm just as Gaara lunged forwards again.
'This power,' Sasuke swore, 'it WILL allow me to win!'
Gaara screeched as his 'arm' was cut off, only for another sand limb to form, whilst the Uchiha collapsed, convulsing. "UOOH!!" the redhead howled as he lunged in for the kill, only to be sent flying as a massive fist rammed into his jaw, sending him rocketing backwards into a tree, passing out the other side and landing on a branch, reeling.
"God dammit…" Domon growled, fist still outstretched as he glared down at the shocked avenger, "why do we have to clean up your damn messes Uchiha?"
--
And it's team seven to the rescue! Will they prove a match for the sand's ultimate weapon? Or will their names be added to the memorial stone?
Tune in next time to find out.
Kyugan: right, no lets see what those two are up to.
(Pushes a switch that reveals a panic room, several monitors hooked and recording everything. Le types in a code and they focus in on one room in particular.)
Kyugan: No lets see...okay...where the hell did she get that nazi-dominatrix outfit? (winces) Or the riding crop? (Winces again) Man, someone has issues.
Shizune: Who's your master!
R&R!! PLZ!!