The gang finally get on Tsunade's trail, with Gai tacking Sasuke back to konoha.
Let me just come right out and say thank you for all the reviews.
Now call off the hitmen. I have Metal Gear Rex and I know how to use it!
The legendary sucker; Travelers teachings!
Gai, carrying Sasuke piggyback style, bowed to Jiraiya reverently. "Jiraiya-sama," the green beast begged, "please bring back Tsunade-sama to us!"
Naruto smirked, rubbing his nose beside the sennin. "You just worry about Okama-chan there." He muttered, smirking at the jounin.
"Yeah!" Domon grinned, flexing a muscle; "We'll drag her back to Konoha by her hair if we have to!"
Recca grinned and wiped his chin with his thumb, "You just make sure Kakashi-sensei doesn't become a vegetable." He stated, "Though he'd probably be more useful if he did."
Gai smiled at the trio for a moment, reaching into his flak jacket. "You three have guts," he praised, "I like that in kids, so I have something for you." The trio stared at him as his grin deepened, "This is the secret of Lee's strength!"
All three genin leaned in close, eyes wide with wonder as he whipped out…!
Three green body suits.
"The ultimate, form-fitting green bodysuit!" Gai called out, "Wear it while training and you'll know the difference! The adorable Lee wears it 24/7 and look how strong he's gotten!"
The trio shivered, staring at the fashion disasters with trepidation. "Ano…Gai-sensei," Naruto thought tactfully, "We appreciate the offer…but Green doesn't look good on us."
"Yeah," Domon agreed with an eager nod, wanting nothing to do with the god-awful things brandished before him "My mom said wearing green makes me look like a pea-pod."
Gai blinked, looking a little let down. "Oh," he muttered, "I see…" The trio were silently patting themselves on the back when he reached into his pouch again. "In that case! I have here three of my old ANBU version suits!"
He waved three black versions of the suit at them, causing them to sweatdrop. 'It's better than green.' They thought, taking them from the man and blinking at how soft the material was.
Jiraiya was shivering with suppressed rage as he drilled holes into the back of Gai's skull, fervently wishing there was a laser vision jutsu. 'If you can lug around those god-awful things why not just carry a damn mirror?!' he muttered, remembering the feeling of Gai's imprint on his beautiful face.
Of course no one really gave a rat's ass about what the sennin had to say, and so the trio waved the hyperactive jounin on his way as he carried the unconscious form of Sasuke back to the village.
"OI!" An irate voice yelled out, causing the trio to look round to spot an irate looking man stamping towards them, "Who the hell blasted a hole in my inn wall?!"
The trio looked up to spot Itachi and Kisame's impromptu exit point, before looking back to the irate landlord.
"Well?!" he demanded, "Who do you thinks gonna pay for this!?"
Recca sweatdropped, turning to the side to look for Jiraiya, "Hey, Ero-sennin," he began, "what should we…"
The trio blinked at the distinct Jiraiya shaped hole in the air, before the sound of the man's rapidly retreating sandals died down.
"…Do…" Recca finished lamely, before turning to his teammates, the three looking as one at the irate landlord.
--
The trio spent a good part of the day running from the local authorities, before finally catching up to their sensei, who was not, as they had expected, spying at the hot springs, but openly making an ass of himself at one of the sleazier bars in town.
Needless to say Jiraiya had to walk with a limp for the rest of the day.
--
"So, Ero-sennin." Naruto called out as they walked, having left the town far behind hours ago, "This 'Super-babe' you were telling us about…Tsunade?"
Jiraiya, still limping somewhat from the beating grinned at the blonde, "Oho! Getting sharper already?" he nodded, "That's her alright."
Recca frowned, "She's one of the Sannin," he stated, "like you and Ero-hebi…right?"
Jiraiya choked at the title for his former teammate, filing it away for future reference. "Erm…yeah." He coughed out, wiping a few tears from his eyes.
Domon looked confused as he scratched his head, "If she's one of your teammates…just how old is she?" he wondered.
Jiraiya smiled, "My age!" he said, trying to stand up straight and failing due to his protesting back as the trio shivered in disgust.
"DAYMN! She's an old hag!" Recca muttered, looking sick.
Domon shook his head, a downtrodden expression on his face. "Man, getting our hopes up like that…" he muttered, visions of a buxom beauty flying away to be replaced by a decrepit old crone.
Jiraiya snorted, eyeing them with the same glee a sculptor has when offered a limitless supply of clay. 'They preach, but they can't hide their true natures,' the Gama-sennin snickered, 'I'll convert them to the way of the super-pervert yet!'
"Anyway." Naruto asked after calming down somewhat, "What's she like?" he asked, looking interested.
Jiraiya frowned in thought, wondering what was okay to leave out. "Well…she's kinda annoying," he admitted, "she's a compulsive gambler, famous in a lot of countries."
Recca smirked and walked with his arms behind his head, "She'll be easy to find if she's famous then." He deduced, earning an amused snort from Jiraiya.
"Oh she's famous alright," the sennin muttered, "She's known as…"
--
Shizune squealed as the gamblers grinned at her master, like foxes in a chicken coop. 'HEEEEE! Look how happy they are already!' she worried, internally weeping as her sensei bet the entire load on the one round.
--
"Densetzu no Kamo?" Domon repeated, blinking in confusion as Jiraiya nodded sagely, shaking his head afterwards.
"She may be famous, but finding her won't be easy," the white haired sennin admitted, "Tsunade ain't the type to age gracefully, so she'll be using a genjutsu to disguise herself." He sighed and waved his hand dismissively, "She may be fifty, but she'll have the body of a twenty year old," he snorted, "and if what I've been hearing is right, she's prone to changing her appearance to a ten, thirty, even forty year old to escape her debts."
The trio stared at him dubiously, bland looks on their faces. 'Not exactly…inspiring…' they muttered, wondering just what type of person this lady was.
Jiraiya snorted at the looks on their faces, knowing all too well what they were thinking. "Tsunade liked to gamble as a kid, more than anything," he shook his head, "but she really sucked at it, in terms of skill AND luck, so much so that I once commented that the only times Tsunade won something, it would be a sign of bad things to come…and then she decked me one."
The sennin sighed, rubbing his jaw at the memory of the savage mauling Tsunade had inflicted upon him, letting out another to block out the sniggers directed at him from the trio. "She's had the title for years." he muttered wistfully, "She'd always be borrowing money, then running from her debts." He sighed, wiping a tear form his eye, as he looked skywards fondly, "Those were the days."
"You actually miss them?!" the trio yelled, looking put-on at the sennin's actions, to which Jiraiya merely grinned.
Naruto, after calming down again, cleared his throat and looked up at the sennin. "I'm guessing you have a way to find her?" he asked, to which Jiraiya responded with a curt nod.
"I'll spare you the details though," the sennin stated, "we'll be walking for a while, so I'll be spending my time on you three." The trio blinked as he smirked at them, "We're gonna power you guys up! It's training time!"
"YEAH!" the trio yelled, raising both fists in the air, before joining hands and dancing around Jiraiya in a circle, causing him to sweatdrop.
'Hoo-boy…'
--
"SUGOI!!" Naruto called out, gazing all around him in awe, "I've never been to a festival before!"
Domon and Recca would have commented on that, but they knew the reason, mentally chalking up another notch on the village's payback list.
"Right!" Jiraiya called out over the noise, "Until the festival ends, we'll be staying here!" He grinned at them and nodded, "Do whatever you want!"
Naruto saluted the sennin cheerfully and pulled out his frog wallet, which was gorged to it's fullest. "HOH!" Jiraiya whistled, grinning at the sight of it, "Big wad of cash there! Like a government official!"
Domon and Recca smirked, the latter ruffling his brother's hair. "Sandaime had a bonus set aside for us for the wave mission," he explained, "and Kakashi sensei got us full pay for bringing back Uchiha during the invasion."
Each of them held up their bulging money pouches and waved at the sennin over their shoulders, "See ya!"
"HOLD IT!"
The trio paused as Jiraiya swiped their wallets, handing each at least 300 ryo's worth. "OI! Give us back our savings!" they yelled irately, only for the sennin to nimbly sidestep them.
"Fools!" Jiraiya barked, going into lecture mode, "Don't you know that the three sins that should be avoided by shinobi at all costs are women, sake and money?" The three grumbled as he handed Domon his pack. "If there's any trouble, the toads can track you with that," Jiraiya muttered, before waving over his shoulder, "I'll go gather info on Tsunade."
--
The genin were having a reasonably good time, despite the lack of funds, and were currently goofing around at a mask shop, where they'd managed to find masks that suited them.
Naruto was grinning behind a fox mask while Recca wore one like Haku's, only with a dragon motif. Domon was wearing an Oni mask similar to those worn by samurai, and was about to make a comment regarding the blonde's choice when he tripped and stumbled into the stall.
"Please be careful," the stall keeper warned him, "with the masks on you can't see very well."
Domon muttered an apology and began picking up the contents of Jiraiya's pack, when Naruto spotted something. "Is this Ero-sennin's bankbook?" the blonde asked, picking it up to verify the owner's name, the trio crowding round the booklet, their eyes bulging out of their sockets at the contents.
"CRAP THAT'S A LOT OF ZEROS!" Recca blurted out, running is eyes over the list to make sure he wasn't dreaming.
"The cheap bastard could buy the whole damn village twice with this!" Domon growled, anger coming off him in waves.
Naruto stared at the booklet, before a grin crossed his face, which slowly spread to the others' as he whispered in their ears.
--
Jiraiya felt his spine shiver, a sudden sense of impending doom settling over his bones, before shrugging it off as gas and returning to the girls that were sitting alongside him, laughing out loud.
"Oh yeah, me and the daimyo are like this" he lied as he crossed his fingers, "Poor guy couldn't scratch his own ass without me!"
The girls laughed in the manner of those who have heard it all before, but were willing to put up with it again for the contents of the man's wallet.
'Ha! Shows what they know!' Jiraiya mocked internally as he looked at the wallets on the table before him, 'MY money isn't going anywhere!'
--
Recca grinned as they chowed down at one of the best restaurants in town. "Nice of Ero-sennin to let us use his bank cards." He muttered around a mouthful of noodles.
Domon grunted as he shoved another bowl of teriyaki down his gullet, placing it on the pile that was already ten bowls high. Naruto waved a waitress down, smiling at her. "Some more noodles please, and keep that ramen coming!"
The waitress smiled and walked off, 'Such well mannered young men!' she thought, waving over the chef to let him know about the orders.
Said 'well mannered' men let out a joint belch that caused the shutters to rattle, before fighting over the last teriyaki bowl.
The restaurant had gone eerily silent, as the other patrons stopped to watch the trio in the free for all battle against hunger. Many were placing bets as to who would be the victor, whilst some of the more prudent diners merely sniffed and pretended the teens weren't there. This proved difficult, as they were sending sauce and splintered chopsticks through the air like hail.
"Here's your order sirs." The waitress grunted, sweating as she tried to lift the massive tray. The fighting immediately stopped and Domon stood up to help her with it, ignoring the fork that was apparently sticking out of his head.
"Thanks again." The giant offered, before turning back to the fray, the waitress smiling as she made her way back to the kitchen.
'Animals…' the other customers thought in awed horror, watching numbly as chopsticks, forks, knives spoons and elbows were utilized in an attempt to both snag the most food and ward off any attempts at stealing it, 'they're ANIMALS!'
--
"That was good." Recca moaned, as they sat outside, drinking green tea to settle their bulging stomachs.
"I'm stuffed." Naruto agreed, rubbing his swollen belly contentedly, gazing up at the sky in contentment.
"Me too," Domon belched, spread out on his back like an overweight cat, "I ate like a pig…."
Recca snorted, "But Domon…you ARE a pig." The enjutsu-shi noted mockingly. The giant teen swiped at his friend in response, only for it to miss lazily as he was too stuffed to even move properly.
"Nice place this," Naruto muttered, as he waved at the smiling waitress, "Aka-beko, kinda catchy."
Recca snorted, "Y'think we kept the letch waiting long enough?" he asked rhetorically, gulping down the last of his tea.
Domon grunted and grabbed his sword, heaving himself to his feet. "Let's go," he muttered, "I need ta walk that off anyways."
--
Jiraiya let out a belly laugh as he complimented the girls yet again, only to freeze as he felt the air grow decidedly chilly, looking up to reveal the glowering form of his companions in the doorway.
"Tell me…Ero-sennin," Naruto muttered, trembling with barely suppressed rage, "What were those 'three sins' you were talking about?"
Jiraiya gulped as he noticed the three had red eyes, and their faces were shadowed.
Domon picked up their empty wallets and snorted, "I thought you said you'd watch these for us…" he rumbled, shooting the man a dangerous look.
Jiraiya shivered as they stepped forwards, looking for an escape route. "Um…I can explain..." he began weakly, holding up his hands, only for the trio to start kicking him, denying him the chance to do anything other than scream in pain.
Limbs and feet lashed out, sending food and sake flying everywhere, and things could have gone very badly for the sennin had someone not entered the bar just as Naruto's heel hit the sake bowl.
"Hey! Look what you idiots did!"
The four Konoha shinobi looked round at the voice; revealing two men in matching coats, save that one had a rapidly spreading stain that stunk of sake along the front, the spilled sake bowl clattering at his feet.
"You ruined Akoki's designer jacket!" the bald one yelled, "You better compensate for it! Give us 1,000,000 Ryo!"
The trio balked at the price, pupils gone. "THAT THING'S WORTH 1,000,000 Ryo?!" they yelled in tandem, jaws hitting the floor.
"For it's price, it still looks damn cheap." Jiraiya snorted, cast ing an indifferent look towards the irate duo, earning a growl from the bald one.
"Don't mess with us ya bastard!" said baldy barked out, "Akoki's a former chunin of Iwagakure! The Densetzu no Yami-nin!"
Jiraiya smirked, "Legendary…eh?" he shot the dark haired man a look that was half taunting and half degrading, "Doesn't look it."
The so-called 'Yami-nin' charged forwards, enraged. "I'll redefine your understanding of pain!" he roared, hands at his sides as he prepared to tackle the sennin.
As the trio moved to intercept the man, Jiraiya waved them back. "Naruto," he called out "take a good look…this is the move you're gonna be mastering."
The trio stared as a sphere of chakra appeared to form in the man's hands; before he rammed it into the charging Iwa-nin. For a moment, nothing happened other than the man's eyes bulging as the sphere rammed into his gut, then the moment passed and he was sent spiraling backwards violently, crashing into his partner and the water balloon stall behind him.
--
The trio had to pick their jaws off the ground once again at the sight, ignorant of the dust that was causing the other patrons to hack up their lungs.
"Naruto…you are one lucky bastard…" Recca muttered as Domon could only nod in agreement.
Jiraiya, magnanimous in victory, strode forward, the man's wallet in hand, and paid for the damages, and purchasing all the undamaged balloons. "Come on you guys," he called over his shoulder, "It's training time!"
The trio blinked, before dashing after their teacher, leaving a startled brothel, a damaged cart, and two unconscious former chunin.
--
"The hell you mean we can't learn it?!" Recca yelled, standing next to an equally irate Domon, whilst Jiraiya shrugged, looking unconcerned.
"One master, one disciple, that's how these things work." The sennin replied with a smirk, "Besides, from what I can tell, you guys did pretty well by yourselves last time."
The two shuffled slightly, not wanting to talk about their 'helpers' in front of the sannin. "Whatever." The Shorter of the two muttered, "You better teach Naruto that jutsu," he glared at the sennin, "and nothing BUT jutsus, or I'll fry your balls."
Jiraiya shivered, before turning back to his blonde pupil, who was looking apologetically at his teammates as they stormed away in a huff. "Now Naruto," he began, after clearing his throat, "what was the first thing you noticed about the attack?"
Naruto frowned, trying to recall everything that happened back at the bar as carefully as he could. "Uh…you formed a sphere, then rammed it into his gut," the blonde recalled slowly, "then the guy went flying."
Jiraiya nodded, mildly impressed, he'd been expecting the kid to only notice the latter part. "Oh they spun alright," he agreed, holding up a water balloon, which began to bulge erratically, before bursting, dousing the ground with water and rubber.
"For this jutsu, you must utilize the constantly maintaining chakra used for tree climbing, and combine it with the steady flow of chakra like you use for water walking."
Naruto stared at the ball in his hands and frowned, "So basically, maintain a constant level of chakra, whilst releasing it continuously?" he prodded, eyeing the sannin carefully.
'Damn but this kid's good at picking things up!' the sannin praised mentally, a small smile on his face, 'If Kushina had lived to see this…'
"Basically yeah," he admitted aloud, "First: use the principle of tree climbing to maintain a moderate amount of chakra in your hands," he held up a palm, "then secondly: utilize the water walking principle to release it continuously."
Naruto nodded, eyes brimming with eagerness to get underway, "Yosha! Until this balloon is ready to boil, I'll keep practicing!"
Jiraiya smiled as the image of his two students stood behind the jinchuuriki, shaking his head fondly, "You'll eventually get used to it." He instructed, "So let's train until it gets dark."
--
Domon growled as he stomped through the streets, a veritable thundercloud across his features. 'Damn Ero-sennin' the giant cursed, unknowingly causing several people to stare at him in fear, 'legendary Sannin my ass!'
He stomped down the streets towards Aka-beko, deciding to use his 'borrowed' cards to drown his anger in teriyaki. Blinking at the sounds of raised voices, he noticed what appeared to be several men in uniform harassing the woman from the restaurant, Tae and the younger girl called Tsubame.
'What the hell?' Domon growled, making his way towards them silently, 'Oh I am in no mood for this!'
--
Unaware of the pain that was imminent in their immediate future, the uniformed men continued with their activities, basking in their own self-important glory.
"You sure there isn't any room for us?" one drawled, tapping his sword against his thigh and smiling in a humorless manner. Tae tried to struggle out of the grip of another thug, whilst Tsubame was looking panicky. "I'm sure you could find SOME room." he continued, smirking as he eyed the older woman with a leer.
Tsubame seemed on the verge of tears, and would have cried out for help when her eyes widened and stared right behind the man and Tae.
"What are you gawking at?" the leader growled, only for the world to go black as a fist the size of a small ham rammed his head into the wall.
--
Domon growled and dropped the man, eyeing the other three like you would cockroaches. "Who's next?" he growled, cracking his knuckles. Two leapt forwards, swords partially drawn, whilst another held Tsubame between him and the giant like a shield.
Domon simply grabbed the hilt of Kubikiri Houcho and lifted the massive sword up with one hand, causing everyone to stare at him in shock. "You've got one chance to run," The giant rumbled, "and then I'm going medieval on your ass." He smirked at the goons insanely, pupils apparently gone and with more fangs in his head than should be humanely possible.
The coward took to the hills screaming bloody murder, pushing Tsubame forwards onto the ground in his haste; the other two weren't far behind, hair bleached white from terror as they attempted to break the Olympic high-speed dash record for running with your tail between your legs.
Domon snorted, replacing his weapon on its harness, before helping the younger waitress to her feet. "You okay?" he asked Tae, who was brushing herself off.
"Y-yes." The woman replied, sounding more confident after the initial stutter, but smiling nonetheless, "Arigatou Domon-kun."
The giant shrugged, looking at the unconscious one and kicking him in the nuts. "Want me to dump him somewhere?" he asked, a small leer crossing his features as he eyed the prone form of the man.
Tae played with the sadistic thought for a brief moment, before sighing as her pacifist mentality won over and shook her head. "Please just move him to the side." She asked, knowing Fujita-san wouldn't like it if one of his men turned up in the river.
Domon nodded, before grabbing one of the man's legs and dragging him, none too gently, into an alley, adding to the man's definite head trauma by dumping him head first into a trashcan when Tae wasn't looking. "I'll be heading on then." He muttered, nodding to the two, "I'll find another place to grab a bite."
Tae blinked, before remembering her conversation with the thugs, grabbing the departing teen's hand. "There's still a booth open," she said with a warm smile, "Please, come on in."
Domon nodded, and lowered his head slightly to fit under the doorway, only to be clouted over the head with a shinai.
--
Recca marched off towards the onsen, where he hoped to spend some time, and a good deal of Jiraiya's money, letting the soothing hot waters drain away all the pent up aggression, before he felt the urge to blow something up, namely Jiraiya.
'Damn super-perv.' He grumbled, sinking into the waters with a sigh, 'he'd better not try anything funny with Naruto!'
"You're awfully tense, you know that?" came a cracked old voice, causing the teen to whip round to glare pointedly at the lounging form of Koku, "Yo."
"You're damn lucky I recognized your voice." Recca muttered, "I coulda flash fried you with Setsuna."
Koku chuckled weakly at this, but brushed it aside as he sank into the waters, "That Jiraiya fellow certainly is an odd one." He commented after a while, "But there's no doubt of his strength, even Resshin was impressed by that jutsu."
"Yeah he would," Recca pouted, "stingy bastards the both of em."
Koku sweatdropped, "Ano…it's not that Resshin doesn't WANT to help you," he commented, "It's just that he hasn't seen the NEED to do so."
Recca refused to reply to this, so the aged Karyuu simply sighed and shook his head, "You're way too tense for your age," he muttered, "What happened to the brain-dead hothead that we all knew and loved?"
"Who you calling brain-dead?!" Recca yelled, hurling a nearby sake bottle at the old man, only for him to catch it and take a sip.
"Blech! This tastes terrible!" he spat, wiping his mouth, "Must've been here for days." He shot Recca a sly grin and pointed at it, "Smells of woman though, wanna sip?"
"YOU SICK OLD PERV!" Recca yelled, "I DUNNO WHO'S WORSE! YOU OR THAT ERO-SENNIN!"
Koku chuckled as he allowed the teen to chase him around the onsen, hurling gunpowder balls and shuriken in an attempt to 'smash yer perverted head in!'
'AH…this is more like it.' He sighed, taking another sip of the stale sake, 'DEFINITELY a woman,' he mused, 'quite a fine one at that.'
--
Tsunade felt a shiver run up her spine as she dodged down another alley, hoping she'd lost her pursuers. 'I sense a dirty mind.' She muttered, 'Someone's made a perverted comment about me.' She growled and stomped down the alley to the meeting place she and Shizune had agreed to. 'It better not be that bastard Jiraiya!'
--
Jiraiya let out a colossal sneezed that drenched a passing swallow as it flew too low, earning a disgusted squawk from the avian as it returned to it's perch, glaring beadily down at the roused Sennin.
'Must be getting cold out.' The sennin muttered, "Oi Naruto!" he yelled, earning the attention of the blonde, "You keep practicing, I'm going to gather information, meet back at the inn later on okay?"
Naruto merely nodded and turned his attention back to the ball in his hands. So far he'd succeeded in making the water rotate, but only in one direction, causing the balloon to take on a distinct football like appearance.
'This isn't right.' The blonde hypothesized, 'I'm missing something vital here…but what?'
--
And so the madness continues.
What will happen to Domon-kun?
Will Koku survive Recca's mauling?
What is the secret to the Rasengan?
Tune in next time to find out!
(Cyborg ninja walks onto the stage, opens visor and clears throat.)
CN: Hello, I'm Frank Jaeger, some of you may remember me as Grey Fox from Metal Gear 1 and 2. I'm here to provide a bit of translation for those who feel alienated by Kyugan's use of japanese.
Densetsu no kamo-Legendary Sucker(Loser in the Viz translation)
Teriyaki: A type of strir fried beef bowl dish.
Daimyo: Feudal lord.
CN: Lemme know if you got any more, I'll do my best to translate.
Kakashi: (Still suspended) Very decent of you.
Kyugan: No input from you (Presses a button on a remote)
CN:( Convulses, lightning shooting off him) GRAAAAAH! MUST. KILL!
Kakashi: (eyes the electrified cyborg in terror) !