Hokage no Isan Chapter 40, a naruto fanfic

Keep Typin Typin Typin Typn!

Hellboy: Ah Crap, he;s gone all limp Bizkit on us.

Wesker: Be ready to grab him if he decides to break stuff.

A bitter pill to swallow; clash of the medics!

In the forest that separated Tanzaku castle from the rest of the town a gambler yawned as he leant his weary back against the trunk of a tree, sipping at a jug of good sake as he tried to plan his next scam.

He'd recently scored pretty big off a busty lady in a green coat, taking everything but the clothes she was wearing and that pricey looking necklace. He idly wondered whom else he could scam before heading home when a rustle in the leaves above caught his attention.

"Orochimaru intends to attack Konohagakure the second his arms are healed!" Shizune called out, the other shinobi around her letting their faces show their discomfort with the situation.

"We have to stop Orochimaru NOW." Jiraiya instructed, grimacing as he tried to force his body to operate properly, Shizune was good but no one matched Tsunade, not even her apprentices "Things will only get worse otherwise!"

"Like you had ta tell us THAT?!" Recca snapped, blasting off a trunk alongside the rest of his team "The bastard near wrecked the place last time, and this time we don't have Saru-jiji to take him out!"

'Saru-jiji?' Jiraiya repeated, chuckling whilst Shizune chastised the hothead for his disrespect 'Old man, you raised some damn fine brats.' He grimaced at the unbidden memory that arrived at the heels of that thought, Orochimaru's escape from Konoha. 'I just hope we get there before something happens!'

The gambler blinked, eyeing the sake suspiciously before calmly pouring it over a nearby shrine, saying a quick prayer, and turning to face the road back home.

He had never been a god-fearing man, but he believed rather heavily in karma, the reason being that, until he became a gambler, he'd always been poor and looked down upon. Since becoming one he'd seemed to have a run of good luck, making more gains than losses, which was a rarity considering how he was a solo agent in a big city like Tanzaku.

So if pigs started flying and people started chasing them through the trees screaming about old monkeys and what-not, then it was pretty clear that karma had, once again, decided to be a fickle mistress.

Looked like it was back to his mother's grocery store again, at least this time he was pretty damn sure she'd be proud of him, coming back with money rather than penniless and starved.

Orochimaru leered hungrily at the glowing ball of healing chakra that hummed steadily in Tsunade's hands, watching her apparently defeat eyes as she brought it closer to his outstretched limbs. He flinched suddenly, as did the medical prodigy, the two sennin separating swiftly as a kunai flew out of nowhere, their gaze snapping towards Kabuto, who stood perched atop the wall of the street, a scowl on his features, even as he landed behind his master.

"What is the meaning of this?" Orochimaru demanded, not facing his servant as he spoke, cold fury leaking into his raspy voice as his eyes bulged in his ire "Why have you decided to betray me…TSUNADE?!"

Tsunade glowered back at the duo, shooting the medic behind the snake a scathing look, moderately impressed at how he'd found her out.

"Tell me," Orochimaru demanded, the fury evident in his eyes, even as he tried to keep his face calm, looking like he was trying to bite his own lips "What led to your decision to kill me…Tsunade-Hime?" he nodded "Kabuto…I trust you wholeheartedly…" he tilted his head slightly "Your loyalty and ability to anticipate Tsunade's attack…"

"We're both from the medical corps." The medic explained impassively, watching the female sennin stew in her own juice with no small amount of smugness "It was easy to sense the murderous intent in her chakra."

Orochimaru sighed, looking honestly distraught at the woman's attempt on his life. What neither of the other party knew was that he was honestly a little disappointed in the turn of events. Tsunade was the world's most renowned healer, he knew this firsthand, even if he forced her she could heal his arms, but he truly hadn't wished to resort to such tactics with her. Call him sentimental at your own risk but there was a time and a place for brute force and it wasn't when his arms were rotting off thank you very much.

"I truly did intend to bring them back Tsunade," he chastised the woman, hoping he sounded disappointed in her "And I even vowed not to destroy Konoha…but now…" He trailed off as Tsunade started chuckling to herself.

"Orochimaru." The blonde medic called out "Your promise to leave the leaf alone? Anyone could tell you were lying." She looked down in depression "I knew that…and yet…just once more…I wanted to see them one last time…to touch them one more time…to see them smile one more time."

Orochimaru allowed a sneer to come to his face whilst Kabuto kept up a mask of indifference, only for both to go on alert at the woman's next words.

"But…the moment I realized that I would truly see Nawaki and Dan again…the moment I felt that joy…I realized I was a total fool!"

Tears fell from the woman's cheeks to dot the mounds of her bosom, where the hokage necklace lay nestled; the images of her lost ones rising to the fore.

"Just remembering their faces…made me so blind…" Tsunade continued "I loved them…I truly loved them!" she exclaimed "And I wanted to see them again and hold them tight…but I couldn't."

Three faces appeared before, one of which reminded her hauntingly of her lost beloveds, her precious Outoto and lover. He had her outoto's face, he had her lover's friendly nature, and he shared their dream on an almost haunting level.

The other two bore no such resemblance, but their determination, their unity, their sheer stubbornness and zeal to protect one another…how long had it been since the sannin had exhibited such ties amongst themselves?

"Those brats reminded me of their dream," the sennin admitted, a weak chuckle escaping her "even though I'd tried to forget it…"

"I'll become strong like grandpa one day and one day be granted the hokage title!" Nawaki had boasted.

"Because unlike you," Naruto scoffed, glaring at her defiantly "I want that title for myself one day!"

"Ever since the day my Imouto died," Dan had admitted "This one thought has been the only thing that's been keeping me going…"

"To be Hokage is my dream."

"They staked their lives on their dreams." Tsunade muttered, her head lowered "That those dreams would come true…was my wish as well." She continued to look down "You said 'everything decays eventually'…but…"

She looked up, and the tears that lined her cheeks were tears of mutual joy and sadness, rather than the bitter, self-hating tears from earlier.

"This one feeling…" the proud female sannin vowed "This one feeling, never decays."

Orochimaru stood in silence for a moment, gazing upon the face of his childhood friend and teammate in silent contemplation. Tsunade had always been pretty, if plain as a girl, and her temper suited her well in his opinion. As she'd matured and filled out he'd come to realize, along with their dimwitted teammate, that she was quite possible the most beautiful woman in Hi no kuni. For the longest time he'd cursed himself for letting her slip away into Dan's arms, taking silent joy in her fits of anger, usually aimed at Jiraiya, as he believed it was at these times she'd been the most beautiful.

He had never seen her cry in such a manner, the sight of it made his long ignored heartstrings ache for those old days.

"Then the negotiations have collapsed." He drawled, face settled in a scowl as he regained control of his emotions "Too bad…I'll have to persuade you by force."

He dimly wondered why in the hell he'd uttered such a stupid, Jiraiya-like statement even as he leapt aside to avoid the heel drop that put a crater in the middle of the street. He really needed to watch out for such things in future, perhaps Jiraiya's stupidity was contagious…or maybe the pain in his arms was making him a little testier than normal.

"I told you." Kabuto pointed out, even as Tsunade launched herself at them like a charging bull "The best medicines are always more than bitter."

"Now that I think of it." The serpent drawled, chuckling lightly as he regarded the enraged princess coyly "You and I have never actually fought, have we, Tsunade-Hime?"

"You're one to talk," Kabuto grumbled, eyeing the rampaging beauty warily as she drew ever closer "I'M the one that has to fight her."

They leapt back as Tsunade delivered a right straight that pulverized the entire wall they'd been standing on, an impressive feat as it ran the entire length of the street. "One hit and your dead." Orochimaru warned, a wry smirk on his pale features as he regarded the situation as if it were amusing. In a sense it probably was, to him.

"I can see that." Kabuto noted, eyeing the battlefield warily, noting the lack of desired maneuverability "It's a little too tight for a battle here."

"Are you suggesting we move the fight elsewhere?" Orochimaru asked regarding his servant coyly, even as he kept a wary eye on Tsunade.

"I believe it would be wise." Kabuto advised him "there was someone with Tsunade's companion…several people to be exact."

"A team?" Orochimaru wondered, sounding intrigued, and more than a little annoyed at this turn of events "Who?"

"The Kyuubi no gaki and two of his teammates." Kabuto reported, scowling at the sennin's scoff "They are lead by the last of the densetzu no sannin."

'JIRAIYA!' the serpent exclaimed, the look of bemusement vanishing without a trace at the mention of his onetime rival and comrade, only to return as he chuckled darkly. "Well now," the sennin muttered ominously "if I'd known there'd be a sannin reunion I'd have worn my good kimono again."

"H-holy crap!" Domon stammered, eyeing the devastated street with wide eyes and a gaping jaw "Did Godzilla pass through here or something?!"

"Worse…" Jiraiya chuckled, looking oddly pleased at the situation "From the looks of things it would seem Tsunade ran out of tender mercies and decided Orochimaru needed some of tough love."

"Was that an innuendo, Ero-sennin?" Naruto deadpanned, Shizune flushing despite herself, glad that her master had turned the offer down but mortified at what was being implied.

"I hope not," Recca muttered, face contorting into a grimace "The idea of those two playing 'hide the snake' just doesn't sit right…"

"CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALA!" Naruto yelped, covering his ears and shutting his eyes to ward of the images, even as Jiraiya turned green. The sennin blinked as he espied Ton-ton sniffing at his master's coat, Shizune kneeling over it.

"Which way, Ton-ton?" the medic asked, the diminutive porker sniffing for a few minutes, before pointing the way "Let's go mina!"

"OSSU!" the trio yelled, leaping after the porker, earning looks of confusion from the medic. "This isn't the first time we followed an animal to our objective." Recca explained at her curious expression "Kaka-sensei lent us one of his nin-ken to track down a teammate that got it into his head to take on a chunin level threat when he'd just had his arm cut off."

Shizune didn't know what to say and so settled for following Ton-ton, keeping pace with Jiraiya in case he needed assistance.

"She's finally out of breath." Kabuto noted, feeling more than a little winded himself. His wounds from earlier were pretty much healed up, though his left hand still felt a little stiff. The only problem now was that he was running a bit lower on chakra than he'd prefer considering his opponent still had her own impressive reserves remaining.

"Then it's time." Orochimaru stated, and the medic popped one of his personal soldier pills, boosting his reserves back to their normal level.

"Taijutsu isn't my specialty you know?" Kabuto reminded his master, even as he activated his chakra scalpel, performing a simultaneous Kawarimi and Shinjuu Zanshu, grabbing the startled female sennin by her ankle, or trying to at least. She dodged, ramming her fist into the earth, forcing him to escape, ducking as she aimed a kick that shattered a boulder just above him.

Using the debris for cover, the younger medic took the rear, slapping her left arm and right leg simultaneously, even as she shoulder rushed him. The damage was lessened however, no doubt because she'd put pressure on her injured leg, and so he was only sent skidding a few feet away, smirking as she collapsed. "I severed your Biceps Brachia and Rectus Femoris muscles." He explained, none to smugly "Your strength is no longer a threat to me."

"Chakra scalpel." Tsunade growled, eyeing the young man warily from her spot on the ground "If you have that then why didn't you target my arteries?"

"I'll admit that while it may leave no external sings of damage," the younger medic replied "Even I am unable to maintain a scalpel that can reach the arteries in a heated battle." He smirked and lunged forwards "Going for the throat however, is no problem at all!"

Tsunade tried to deflect the blow with her good arm, only for Kabuto to slip under, slapping against her sternum, just above the necklace, her breath catching the second his palm touched her. 'This kid…is no mere medic-nin.' she realized, glaring at him even as she gasped for breath 'his jutsu instincts and sharp senses may surpass even my own in my prime!'

"I can't have you dieing on me now," Kabuto admitted coyly, pushing his glasses back into position "So I didn't go for your throat…nonetheless, you won't be moving any time-!"

Whatever the medic had been about to say was cut off as Tsunade delivered a sharp, savage chop to the back of his neck, sending him crashing down to earth as Orochimaru watched on with an amused smirk on his pale features.

'Impressive…' Kabuto admitted tenderly 'lack of breath would normally make it impossible to move…' he glared at the sennin's impressive rack 'Did my scalpel not penetrate far enough because of those?' he wondered, before getting to his feet, or trying to anyway.

'Wha-what the hell?' he stammered, eyeing his twitching form in alarm 'I'm trying to move my hand, but my leg moves? What's going-?!'

Tsunade's fist plowing into the medic's face cut off all thought, as he sprawled helplessly on the ground like a puppet with its strings cut. The one saving grace the medic maintained was that he'd at least prevented her from using her full strength...he very much doubted his head would still be attached otherwise.

'That's Tsunade-Hime for you.' Orochimaru noted, listening in as his teammate explained her trick to his no doubt equally stunned and impressed servant 'Electrical signals control all activity between the brain and the body, so Tsunade effectively cut off more than half of the signals that race between Kabuto's body and mind at over 360km per hour.' He smirked as he realized that the body was still moving and corrected his hypothesis 'No, that's not it…the signals got crossed!'

He let his tongue wipe across his lips, watching as the medical beauty used the bare minimum of medical ninjutsu to heal her wounds, saving the majority for the battle ahead. 'As always, you think ahead by at least three steps, Tsunade-Hime.' He applauded, before smirking wryly 'But Kabuto isn't one to let a minor affliction keep him down.'

As Tsunade healed herself Kabuto closed his eyes and gave himself a self-diagnostic, checking his body thoroughly to see what worked, what didn't and what was completely FUBAR as he planned his next move.

'If I try to move my right hand…my left leg moves.' He noted testing the limbs 'If I try to move my left foot, my right shoulder moves.' He sat in silence, his body twitching as his face remained calm 'It's complicated…but I've figured out how to use 80 of my body now.'

"To think that a jutsu of this level can defeat me is an insult!" he called out, a kunai snapping into his hand as he rounded on the stunned Tsunade "You hate the sight of blood? Then I think it's about time you faced you fears, Tsunade!" He held the Kunai before him "I'll spill just enough to keep you alive in your torment!"

Tsunade grimaced, preparing to either flee or block only for a series of explosion to erupt before her, driving the younger medic back. This was followed by several figures arriving via Kawarimi, looming in front of the annoyed Kabuto like a proverbial wall.

"It's been a while…Jiraiya." Orochimaru greeted, a smirk twisting on his pale features as he regarded the new arrivals with a sense of bizzare amusement.

"Yo," Jiraiya shot back, smirking right back at his former teammate "You're looking as morbid as ever…Orochimaru." He squawked as Tsunade elbowed her way past him, charging towards Kabuto with her fist drawn back. Kabuto, in turn, readied his kunai and…slit his own wrist, spraying the blood all over the charging sennin.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Domon swore, spiking out in horror at the medic's tactic "Is he gonna whip out some freak-ass emo-ninjutsu or something?!" he blinked as Shizune dashed forwards, only to gape as he realized Tsunade had stopped moving, just as Kabuto sent her flying with a punch to the face.

"What the hell?!" Recca demanded, rushing to Shizune's side along with the others, regarding the trembling, blood drenched form before them "Why'd she freeze up like that?!"

"Hemophobia." Shizune replied "Ever since the day I told you, Tsunade-sama is paralyzed by the sight of blood." She frowned concernedly "It was one of the reasons she left the shinobi world."

"And that rat bastard took advantage of that." Recca growled, glaring jot at Kabuto, but at Orochimaru "Traitorous backstabbing-!"

"That's no way to talk." Kabuto mocked, smirking despite the blood seeping out of his wrist "A Shinobi makes good use of his surroundings and any information he can gather," he smirked "We are assassins and spies after all…but then maybe you three don't have what it takes."

"Tough talk from one of Pedo-hebi's butt monkeys." Naruto shot back, Orochimaru and Kabuto's eyes bulging at the implied insult "You keep his bed warm at night for him? Or just whenever he's not whacking off to kiddy porn?"

Kabuto bristled, before scoffing and pushing up his glasses, "Simple bait and counter attack tactics like that won't work on me." He muttered scornfully "And you really need to watch what comes out of your mouth."

"I don't wanna hear that from a guy that blows off a snake for kicks." Naruto shot back, his teammates and Jiraiya cackling as Shizune flushed scarlet "Baa-chan probably got a shit load of STD's just from touching you."

'Oh I am so writing that down!' Jiraiya cackled, eyeing Kushina's brat with a note of pride 'Ku-chan, your infamous potty mouth lives on!'

Kabuto glared at the teen and would have dashed forwards had he not sensed the sudden movement off to the side, leaping back to stand alongside his master, Shizune's senbon deflecting off his Hitai-ate.

"You seem to be having trouble Kabuto…" Orochimaru noted, though he didn't take his eyes off the assembled forces "Though while I applaud your handling of Tsunade I must admit that we seem to be outnumbered."

"Perhaps not, Orochimaru-sama." Kabuto suggested, slipping a scroll he'd prepared earlier just in case out of his pack as he swallowed a coagulant pill and plasma pill in succession.

Orochimaru eyed the scroll interestedly, noting that two of his special kunai were also concealed in the medic's pouch. "Kukukuku…" he chuckled, returning his gaze to the assembled forces coyly "You truly are a vindictive one, Kabuto."

"So that's Orochimaru…" Naruto growled, finally getting a good look at the bastard that slew the man he'd regarded as a grandfather since infancy. Even from here the sight of those golden, serpentine eyes made his blood boil.

'Something is wrong…' Kyuubi's thoughts muttered 'The eyes are the same…as is the aura… but that is not the man that set me on the village.'

'You sure?' the Hanyou asked his sire, frowning at the traitorous sennin even as he did so.

'Absolutely.' Kyuubi replied in a low growl 'His eyes may be similar, but if it were the same man then we would have smelled him from miles away…and something about those eyes seems false.'

'Ocular genjutsu?' Naruto wondered, blinking in confusion "Hey Ero-sennin, does Pedo-hebi got any ocular genjutsu skills?"

"Not that I know of." Jiraiya replied, not taking his eyes off the man "In fact I'm certain of it, while he specializes in all forms of jutsu he nonetheless is limited to hand seals like the rest of us save for certain instances."

'Then something's up.' The Hanyou muttered 'Otherwise why the hell would Tou-san suspect he isn't Orochimaru?'

Not distracted by Naruto's questioning in the least, Jiraiya nodded "Shizune, you take four-eyes." He nodded towards Kabuto "Brats, you stay here and watch Tsunade, I'll handle Orochimaru."

"Not happening Ero-sennin." Recca shot back, "You're not back to a hundred percent just yet and besides, it's common sense to outflank the enemy."

"I'll be back as soon as Tsunade does something about the drug she gave me." Jiraiya snapped, only to realize the futility of this when he realized Tsunade wasn't likely to be much use till she calmed down. Looking at Shizune provided another disappointment.

"The medicine will doubtlessly continue to affect you for several more hours." The attendant stated apologetically "Not even I can do something about that."

"Damn, no choice then…" Jiraiya growled "Okay, Domon you're with me, we'll handle Orochimaru "Recca, Naruto, one of you tag-team with Shizune against four-eyes, the other stay back and guard Tsunade till she gets herself under control.

"I'll watch the old hag." Naruto volunteered, stepping in front of her with a grim expression "My kage-bunshin can keep her covered on all sides, and against opponents like these they'd just be wasting Chakra."

'Kid plans ahead pretty well.' Jiraiya noted approvingly 'Definitely didn't get THAT little tidbit from Ku-chan though, she was always one to charge in headfirst.'

"So how we gonna do this?" Domon asked, gritting his teeth as he sidled up next to the sennin "I fought with the Kuso-hebi in the forest but he wasn't even trying hard back then…so what's he like?"

"As he is now his jutsu skills are limited to whatever personal skill and summoning contracts he has on him." Jiraiya supplied dutifully "The problem arises if he summons the boss snake Manda…that bastard's a match for Gamabunta." He flinched as Kabuto swiped blood from his wrist and rubbed it on Orochimaru's summoning tattoo, biting his own thumb and flipping through the seals as he drugged up as much chakra as he could.

"KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!"

A massive explosion of smoke revealed two serpents on the other side, towering over the field as they gazed down at the assembled Konoha forces, Orochimaru atop one, Kabuto the other. Jiraiya on the other hand, fought the urge to weep as he espied the toad boss' eldest son gazing up at him.

"Yo!" the amphibian greeted cheekily, waving in greeting at the sight of the mortally embarassed sennin "Got any snacks there ossan?"

"Kukukuku…" Orochimaru chuckled, eyeing the scene below with no small amount of amusement "Looks like not even Tsunade managed to cure your stupidity Jiraiya." He noted mockingly "It seems the first move is mine!"

"KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!"

The snake sennin balked as a second eruption of smoke sounded out, revealing a large toad with two katana strapped to its back that had last been used to crush his triple headed serpent back in Konoha. Atop the amphibian's head stood the Kyuubi-brat, several clones of the brat standing around Tsunade in a protective circle on the ground, katanas semi-drawn.

"It would seem I underestimated him once again." Kabuto noted, looking none to pleased with this turn of events "He's clearly tapping into the Kyuubi's chakra."

"You don't say?" Orochimaru remarked waspishly, as he directed the serpents towards the rest of the assembled forces, only to stager as Jiraiya summoned his Yomi Numa in an attempt to sink the one the sennin was riding on.

'Damn, I can't sink this snake in a swamp this shallow.' Jiraiya cursed, grimacing as he felt his Chakra fluctuate wildly, like bad gas 'Damn medicine's still screwing me up!'

'Still…' he mused, regarding the grim features of his former comrade, as they stood atop the ailing serpent 'At least this one isn't going anywhere.'

"You think you've won?" Orochimaru asked, sounding amused "Did you really think that any amount of genin could help you defeat me? One of the prodigal sannin?"

"Don't call yourself by that title." Jiraiya mocked, "It belongs to the strongest team in Konoha 's history…and I've been going solo for years."

"True, but the fact remains that even outnumbered you can never defeat me…" he smirked as he used his tongue to reveal another summoning array "I ALWAYS have a back-up plan."

Jiraiya swore and lunged towards the man, realizing it was a trap when Orochimaru's neck extended, lunging for his jugular. "Ninpou: Hari Jizo!" he called out, barely making the seals in time as his mane of white hair enveloped him like a shell, only for Orochimaru to pull it aside with his foot and land a bite. 'Shit! Too little chakra to be effective!' Jiraiya cursed, even as he struggled to remain upright.

"Even with handicaps there's no contest between us." Orochimaru taunted through the bite, a rather unsettling feeling in Jiraiya's opinion "Give it up, I've won." He smirked "Unless of course you want to watch those boys suffer."

And so Orochimaru puts Jiraiya in his dread lovebite of DOOM! How will the Ero-sennin survive this obviously Yaoi attack!

omake:

"Suffer?" Jiraiya growled, glaring at his former teammate coldly "You won;t know the MEANING of the word till I get through with you!"

"Is that so?" orochumaru snorted, looking into the sennin's eye mockingly "And just what do you expect to do to me tied up like this?" he snorted as Jiraiya struggled again "Just like old times, hm?"

He blinked as Gamakichi hopped onto Jiraiya's head and held what appeared to be a nudie magazine in front of the toad sennin. His eyes widened as he felt the sennin's muscles expand.

(Cue the popeye music)

"PERV POWER!"

Orochimaru swore as Jiraiya liuterally exploded out of his clothes, sending the serpent flying backwards, gaping in horror at the hulking mass of muscle and testosterone glaring down at him

"Who's a little bitch now huh?!"

R&R!!