Welp, I'm back.
Hellboy: You okay?
Kyugan: As can be expected, no more coffee for this writer! (Holds up a keg) Just some good old Potchiin!
Anderson: Amen!
Hellboy: Holy! What's he doin' here?
Kyugan: Relax, he won't bite, Ive been feeding im sedatives for some time now.
Anderson: Amen!
Hellboy: What...kind of sedatives? (Blinks as Kyugan hands him a pill) What the hell? This is Viagra!
Door opens, Hienkel (from the omake, not actual hienkel) sticks her head in
Hienkel: Father? Are you coming to bed? Yumie's getting impatient.
Anderson: AMEN!
Note: Alcohol is an evil, evil substance that shopuld only be used responsibly for comedic purposes.
No insane killer priests were harmed in the making of this fanfic...just Kakashi, who had to be returned to the hospital for plot conviences.
Random medic: God...what the hell happend to YOU?
Kakashi mummy:...whimper...
Return to Konoha; and the after party.
"Konoha's changed since the last time I saw it." Tsunade noted, smiling wistfully at the odd tower or building that had been added to the scenery since the last time she'd stood atop the Hokage tower. "All of this is now my responsibility," she noted with a smile "As the new Godaime Hokage."
Behind the woman stood her entourage from the trip, the hokage's advisors, Homura and Koharu, and Aoba and Genma, the two acting as attendants for the Hokage's return.
'These kids never cease to amaze me.' Genma noted with a smirk, eyeing the trio as they stood at attention, chest puffed out so far it looked like they were about to float off 'I know who to bet money on from now on.'
"I still can't believe you talked her into it." Homura muttered, more than a little surprised considering the state Tsunade had been in when she left.
"HA! Not even the beautiful Tsunade-Hime can resist the charms of such a handsome devil as Jiraiya-sama!" the toad sennin boasted, earning a few dirty looks from his students.
"Right," Recca drawled, a deadpan expression on his face "Remind me again, GREAT ONE, who almost died from being poisoned?"
"Probably shoulda spent less time looking at her breasts and more time looking at her hands." Domon muttered, an equally unamused expression on his own.
"Quit looking cool Ero-sennin," Naruto warned with a snort "you just milked that mission as an excuse to take big booby neechan out for drinks."
Genma choked at the blonde's comment, Aoba flushing scarlet alongside him as they waved at the boy to keep his trap shut. Homura and Koharu were gazing at him in shock and Jiraiya was seething at the trio for ruining his image. However, rather than the expected bloodbath, Tsunade merely chuckled and shot Jiraiya a smirk.
"They're right you know, but then I doubt you'd have succeeded in bringing me back without them so you deserve that much." She sighed happily "Besides, it was fun drinking together…but don't make anything out of that if you value being able to piss standing up."
"TSUNADE!" Koharu snapped, looking speechless "As a lady, and as Hokage, you are to refrain from speaking in such a manner!"
"Ah shut up ya old bat," Tsunade muttered, smirking at Koharu's gob smacked expression, only for Homura to hold up a hand.
"Genma, Aoba," the bearded advisor called out, "Make preparations for Tsunade's inauguration and contact the Daimyo." He nodded, "Spread the word amongst the village too."
"Hold your horses!" Naruto snapped out, startling the adults with his volume, not for the first time "Neechan's got something to do first!"
"Ah right," Tsunade noted, shaking her head with a wistful smile as she walked away from the railing "Jiraiya, who was It again?"
"You going senile in your old age?" Jiraiya muttered under his breath, flinching at her scowl "It's Kakashi, the Uchiha brat and Gai's student Lee."
--
Shikamaru yawned, walking alongside his father towards the hokage's office, wondering why the hell, they'd been summoned there. There wasn't even a hokage at the minute, just the elder's holding down the fort and handling mission requests. He blinked as he noticed three familiar faces he hadn't seen in a while come into view. "Yo, Naruto, Recca, Domon." He called out "What're you guys doing here?"
"You still alive Shikamaru?" Naruto joked, earning a raised eyebrow from genin "We figured you'd have found life too troublesome and decided to sleep forever."
"Wise ass." Shikamaru shot back with an annoyed grunt, though he did smirk along with the others "Anyway, I'm just here on some annoying business with Oyaji."
"It's good to see you again," Nara Shikaku noted proudly bowing to the two sennin with a smile "Tsunade-sama, Jiraiya-sama."
"Well if it isn't Nara!" Tsunade noted in amazement, "All grown up…and is that your kid there?" she smiled at Shikamaru, who flushed, before turning back to the elder Nara "You been taking care of the deer? Their horns make for good medicine."
Shikamaru blinked between the chatting adults and leaned in to the trio conspiratorially. "Level with me, who's the chick with the attitude?" he asked, looking at the woman as she patted his father on the shoulder.
"That's the new Godaime, Tsunade." Naruto replied, smirking at the boy's startled expression "And if you think that' s weird, she's really in her fifties!"
Shikamaru gaped at the trio as they walked off, promising to hang out later as they caught up with the sennin duo and Shizune. "THAT'S the new Godaime Hokage?" he muttered, even as his dad sidled up to him, "Who the heck is she?"
"Son," Shikaku said with a smirk "That is the strongest, most beautiful woman alive…and the sole kunoichi of Sandaime-sama's legendary Sannin team."
"Mendokuse…a FEMALE Hokage?" Shikamaru moaned, not really caring if he sounded sexist "As if there aren't enough bossy women in my life." He shuddered as an image of a cackling Sakura and Ino hovered over his head, only to blink as his old man put a hand on his shoulder.
"Shikamaru," the elder Nara stated "Men cannot be born without women, without women to whip them into shape, men are useless." He smiled wistfully "Even the toughest of women can be tender around the man she loves."
Shikamaru watched his old man walk away with a deadpan expression 'Oh you're whipped alright pops." He muttered, before making his way to the administration.
--
Sakura sat at Sasuke's bedside, hands clenched in her skirt as she waited for him to awaken. The last battle with Gaara had been a turning point for the girl, if Lee hadn't been there to catch her she'd have been killed so many times.
'What exactly did I become a shinobi for?' she wondered, her family having been of decidedly civilian stock prior to her acceptance into the academy 'Wasn't it to prove I was the best? So I never got hurt again?' She eyed the recumbent bishounen before and flinched, 'Yet even now…all I can do is sit on the sidelines…even that monst-Naruto,' she corrected swiftly 'did more for the village than I did.'
She blinked as the door opened, admitting the most beautiful woman she'd ever laid eyes on. One look at her would put all the groupies in the world to shame, and Sakura felt no different, noting the woman's impressive physique and comparing it to her own. It was like comparing a mountain to a molehill, no contest.
"Eh? Haruno?" Recca noted, blinking in confusion at the sight of the pink haired kunoichi "How long have you been here? You look like hell."
"Damn girl," Domon winced, noting the kunoichi's haggard expression "When'd you last get some sleep?"
Sakura blinked, unused to the concern on their faces, only to blink as Naruto put a hand on her forehead. "Yikes! Shizune Neechan. I think you better look at this." The blonde called over to a pretty brunette behind the buxom blonde.
"It's just stress and lack of proper sleep and nutrition." Shizune reported after checking over the flushing pinkette, "She'll be fine with a little rest and a good meal." She smiled at the girl "Have you been keeping an eye on him all this time?"
Sakura blushed and was about to say something when she realized Tsunade was gesturing to surgeons, who pulled Sasuke's severed arm out of a scroll, preserved by the parchment and wards placed on it. Her eyes widened as the medic removed the seals and pressed the arm to its place on Sasuke's shoulder, taking a few strands of hair from his head in the process.
"We're taking him into surgery." Tsunade instructed, nodding to Shizune "Instruct them on the reattachment process and make sure they don't screw up."
"Hai!" Shizune nodded following the gurney, only to blink as Naruto stopped her in the doorway with a hand on her wrist, tight yet gentle.
"Take care of him." The blonde asked her, looking up at her with those unfathomable red ringed blue eyes "I'm counting on you, Shizune-neechan."
Sakura could only gape at the concern on the blonde's face, recalling how he'd looked at the exam for the first time. 'He regretted cutting of Sasuke's arm…' she noted, eyes widening 'he went off to rescue him even though they'd been fighting to kill each other.' She blinked as Domon and Recca grabbed her arms and grinned.
"You heard Shizune." The enjutsu-shi stated with a grin that made her skin crawl "A meal and then straight to bed young lady."
"And what d'ya know!" Domon added with a grin that reminded her WAY to much of the forest tigers "We were just about to go out for yakiniku!"
"EH?! B-but I can't eat that!" the girl exclaimed, thrashing in their grip as they frog-marched her towars the door "I'll get fat! No-one will want me if I'm fat!"
"No-one wants to marry an anorexic skeleton either." Tsunade pointed out, startling the girl and smirking "You think I got like this by starving myself? Live a little girl."
"Easy for you to say neechan." Naruto scoffed, shrugging mockingly and shaking his head "All that booze you drink probably goes to your boobs."
'Booze?' Sakura repeated, even as Tsunade chased the terrified jinchuuriki down the hallway, fists raised threateningly above her head 'What does booze have to do with anything.'
--
Shikamaru grumbled as he listened to his teammates have fun at his expense. He wasn't the ONLY one promoted to chunin after all, but of course they had to make a big deal out of it. He blinked as Recca and Domon entered, an unconscious Naruto over the giant's shoulder and a nervous Sakura between them. "What happened to Naruto?" the Nara asked, noting several large lumps on the blonde's skull "Looks like he lost a fight with a wrecking ball."
"Worse," Recca mumbled, "Tsunade-Baachan beat the crap outta him for making a crack about her boobs."
Asuma sprayed sake across the table, soaking Chouji, who didn't really mind so long as the food wasn't ruined. "Tsunade?" he repeated, blinking at the teen "Tsunade-sama's returned?"
"We brought her back with Ero-sennin." Domon muttered, setting Naruto on the bench next to Shikamaru "She's the new Godaime too."
"A female hokage?" Ino asked, sounding excited as she clapped her hands "That's amazing! What's she like?"
Asuma chuckled as he noted the look that passed between the two conscious members of Konoha's infamous prankster trio. Equal parts torment and annoyance, with a splash of terror. 'No doubt about it,' he chuckled 'they bumped into Tsunade-sama all right.'
"She's something else." Domon and Recca uttered at the same time, Asuma chuckling and flagging down some more Yakiniku and Amazake.
"In that case, this is a double celebration." The current head of clan Sarutobi toasted "To Shikamaru's promotion and Tsunade-sama's return!"
"KAMPAI!" everyone cheered, only for Recca and Domon to blink halfway through and ogle the lazy genin with disbeleif in their eyes.
"I didn't ask for this." Shikamaru muttered, knowing he was going to catch hell for this later.
--
"Ino…" Sakura began, catching her rival's attention as she eyed her cup of Amazake nervously "Do…do you ever feel like…we're letting everyone down?"
Ino blinked, looking at her normally confident rival in surprise.
"I mean," Sakura continued "The guys are always pulling ahead, even though in class we were always better, out in the real world they've advanced far beyond us." She shivered "What's the point of being a shinobi at all if you can't be of sue to the others?"
Ino stared, wondering if someone had spiked the Amazake, only to look up as Naruto raised his head. "You're not useless." he informed the pinkette, "No matter what I said back then you've made it this far on your own, when countless others died or quit during the exams." He smirked "And you and Ino-chan here have been visiting Sasuke-teme at the hospital, that's pretty diligent for people who think they don't matter."
The girls flushed at the praise, wondering when on earth the blonde had regained consciousness, even as he skewered a piece of meat. "Now I'm no expert, but if you want Sasuke to notice you, you need to get stronger." The jinchuuriki noted with a smirk "Teme only looks for strong opponents, so if you want him that badly you'd better be prepared to put some dents in that thick skull of his."
"You want us to hit Sasuke?!" the girls snapped, looking suddenly furious, like he suggested they burn down the hokage tower "What kinda sick freak are you?!"
"The kind that's seen what happens if you get depressed and doesn't want you two doing something stupid." Naruto shot back, silencing them with his tone "You're my comrades…that, and Sasuke needs all the help he can get." He frowned "I found people to help me…Sasuke still thinks he can do it alone."
The girls blinked, eyeing the solemn look in the boys eyes in confusion, before Ino, master of mind games, swallowed nervously and nodded "What do you want us to do?"
"Get stronger." Naruto stated, "Train until your can't move and then train some more," he smirked "And eat a proper meal, I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure Sasuke lies a girl with a little more meat on her bones." A plume of smoke and he was sitting before them in his Oiroke form, fully dressed, but with his cleavage showing behind the kimono top. "In fact," Naru-chan noted with a coy purr, smirking at their dumbstruck faces as she held her arms behind her head "I'm pretty damn confident he does."
That said, the Hanyou canceled the illusion and then went off to join in the fun as Asuma and Domon tried to beat each other in an Amazake drinking contest, leaving the stunned kunoichi staring at him in awe. Sakura blinked, turning to face her rival, who mimicked her, the two staring at each other, struck dumb. "Did Naruto just…FLIRT with us? As a GIRL?!"
"Did you see the size of her bust?" Ino stammered, motioning with her hands for emphasis "what do you think he drinks to get them like that?"
Sakura opened her mouth, and then shut it, honestly seeing that as a damn good question considering Naruto was a GUY for heaven's sake, and yet had even Ino beat, and she was the most developed member of their year.
--
Hyuuga Hinata sneezed as she stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom, looking around in confusion before sighing and discarding the bra she'd been attempting to try on and waving her sister over "Sorry Hanabi-chan, these are too small."
"Eh? You went up another size again?" the younger Hyuuga exclaimed, cupping the startled heiress' breasts from behind with wide eyes "Neechan SUGOI!"
"AH! Hanabi-chan! Don't!"
Hyuuga Hiashi glared pointedly at the numerous servants that had paused about their duties at the sound of his daughters' words. They promptly resumed them, trying to avoid looking at each other. 'She certainly takes after her mother.' He noted, wiping a thin trail of blood away from his nostril with a handkerchief, before heading off for the meditation garden.
He felt the sudden urge to make use of the icy waterfall set up there.
--
"Well look who's back," Fuko noted, a superior smirk on her face as she greeted the trio in the hallway of the compound, her Chunin vest on, bulging suggestively around the chest area. "Guess I outrank you losers again, you can just call me Fuko-sama!"
"Hai, Fuko-sama!" Domon cheered, the startled chunin backtracking as he started kissing her hand "Please be kind to your eternal servant-PRGH!"
"Baka," Fuko muttered, having kicked the giant into the wall, a tick bulging on her forehead "Where's the fun if you're all willing?!"
"I still say it isn't fair," Recca muttered, arms crossed in a childish pout "Why were You, Tokiya and Shikamaru the only ones to be promoted?"
"Obviously because we used out heads." Tokiya replied, smirking at Recca as he appeared in the hallway "The councilors obviously have taste."
Naruto sighed as his aniki lunged at the hyomon-ken master and began to throttle him, deciding to head back to the hospital to check on Sasuke, it didn't look like things here were going to calm down anytime soon.
He ducked a stray icicle as it shot past him. Perhaps a stop at the ramen stand was in order as well.
--
Sasuke awoke to find himself in a hospital room, eyes groggy and feeling like he'd been run over by a boss summon. The last Uchiha in Konoha sat up, blinking as he felt pressure on the stub of his right arm, realizing the limb was back, not a mark in place to reveal it had been severed at all.
"You're awake." A voice called out, Sasuke whipping round to find Naruto sitting across from him, leaning on the back of a chair, eyeing him with those damnable red ringed blue eyes. "That's neechan for you, she's not called a medical prodigy for nothing."
Sasuke grit his teeth and glared at the blonde, wanting to get out of bed and throttle him, only to blink as the blonde stood suddenly, crossing over to him and looking him in the eyes.
"Do you know how lucky you are to be alive?" Naruto asked, voice eerily calm "People have DIED from that jutsu your messed up brother put you under, Kakashi-sensei nearly died facing it, even WITH a sharingan to counter it."
Sasuke growled and would have activated his own sharingan, but was still too groggy to focus right and settled for matching the blonde glare for glare.
"Does you life mean NOTHING to you?" Naruto ground out "Don't you CARE what happens? How can you revive your clan when your dead?"
"Urusei…" Sasuke ground out; teeth clenched tight enough to crack "What the hell would you know about it…you damn orphan…"
"Big words considering your last living relative is a psychopath with a shark for a buddy." Naruto shot back, the two practically nose to nose "I don't know the whole story, and God knows you're about as likely to tell me as Ero-sennin is getting Neechan on a date," he sighed, looking at the Uchiha with shockingly concerned eyes "Just…don't push yourself too hard man…let your teammates take up some of the slack."
Sasuke blinked, startled at the concern in those normally mocking eyes as Naruto stood up, looking embarrassed. "I gotta go," the blonde stated "Gotta keep aniki and Domon from killing each other y'know." He smirked "Say, when you get better, lets spar sometime…loser buys ramen."
Sasuke blinked as the door shut, staring at where the boy had disappeared in confusion, clutching the Tenfuuin on his left shoulder tightly.
--
Tsunade's inauguration as the Godaime Hokage was a loud, celebratory affair. Konoha was partying for a week as result, the Godaime actually managing to visit every damn bar and haunt she'd frequented in her youth as well as the few that had sprung up in her absence. Tenten had been so thrilled by the return of her role model she'd actually kissed the trio on the cheeks, earning Recca and Domon dirty looks from Yanagi and Fuko, whilst Negi glared murderously at Naruto, who looked dumbstruck.
As it were it seemed everyone was in a partying mood, even Sasuke managed to turn up at the party, though he remained sheltered in a corner with fellow pretty boy Neji, watching the goings on of lesser mortals with aloof expressions. That is, until Tenten got sloshed and ended up soaking her shirt, leading to Negi being carted out on a stretcher for blood loss.
--
Naruto was cackling at the Hyuuga's predicament when he felt two taps on his shoulder, looking round to find a nervous Sakura and Ino looking at him. "What's up?" he asked cheerfully "Not having fun?"
"Ano…Naruto…" Ino began; pushing her fingers together in a disticntly Hinata-style manner "We…wanted to talk to you about…the other day."
"Huh?" Naruto wondered, noticing their impressively red faces and sweat dropping in mild alarm 'Are they drunk? I thought I saw Ero-sennin hanging around the punch bowl.'
"It's about what you said," Ino said, looking to the side in embarrassment "and well…we wanted to ask you…"
Hinata leaned closer from behind a pillar shooting the two kunoichi jealous glares as she listened in on the conversation.
"We wanted to ask you…what do you drink to make your boobs that big?"
Hinata face faulted, toppling into a potted plant that crashed into Kurenai's head, sending her face first into Asuma's crotch. Anko let out a cheer as the startled jounin tried to apologize to each other, both flushing scarlet. Naruto merely blinked, trying to process what he'd just heard.
"I mean, sure it's a henge but it's what you look like as a girl right?" Ino reasoned, waving her hand dismissively "So tell me, what's the secret?"
"Uh…eating a good meal…and lots of milk?" the blonde hazarded, looking round for a distraction, only to gape as Anko wrapped herself around him like a feather boa.
"Care for a walk on the wild side sweetie?" she asked, grinning as the blonde went ramrod straight, the two rivals too busy discussing the benefits of milk to notice, "We can finish where we left off since before the exam."
--
Sasuke raised an eyebrow as Naruto was dragged past him in the arms of the female proctor from the second exam. He had to admit to a little spark of jealousy at the attention the blonde was receiving, only to note the look of pure terror on the boy's face. "Sasuke! Help!" the blonde yelped, reaching for the Uchiha desperately "She's freaking scary when she's like this! HELP!"
"Hm? Sasuke?" Anko noted, turning her eyes to look the suddenly nervous Uchiha up and down "Well, more the merrier I always say!"
"Run Sasuke!" Naruto yelled, waving his arms frantically as Anko began making one-handed seals "For the love of all things sacred…RUN!"
Sasuke bolted, eyes wide in terror, only to yelp as several hundred snakes wrapped around him tightly, dragging him alongside his teammate towards their doom.
"Wait!"
Anko paused, the two boys looking over at their apparent savior in relief, only to blink at the nervously blushing features of Hinata Hyuuga. "Ho? You trying to stop me girlie?" Anko asked, raising a coy eyebrow at the girl, Naruto shaking his head to warn the girl away, only to blink as she stepped forward shyly.
"C-Can I join in?"
--
Neji Hyuuga awoke the next morning with the mother of all hangovers and it's mother in law bickering in his head. He slapped a hand on the alarm clock near his futon and rolled over, hoping to catch a few extra minutes of sleep when he realized he wasn't alone. To be more accurate, his teammate was in his futon with him…and we don't mean the cute one with the buns.
"Sakura-saaaaaan…" Rock lee moaned, curling up to the stupefied Hyuuga like an amorous amoeba and planting a kiss on his cheek.
"KAITEN!"
--
Sakura awoke with a sneeze to find herself staring at a familiar ceiling with a familiar poster of Sasuke and a decidedly familiar scent of flowers rising from below.
She sure as hell wasn't in her room; otherwise the first thing she'd smell would be her mother's attempts at cooking. As it were she looked up as the door opened to reveal Ino's dad, who looked hung-over, and with lipstick all over his face. "Ino-chan…" Inoichi began, trailing off at the sight of the pink-haired girl in his daughter's bed, eyes widening as his princess sat up next to her.
"Papa?" Ino wondered, looking around in confusion, only to blink as she realized she was sharing a bed with her best friend/rival. And they were both naked.
Yamanaka Inoichi keeled over backwards with all the grace of a noble redwood on a future course to becoming several thousand rolls of toilet paper. The girls stared at each other for a moment, unable to come to grips with what had apparently happened.
"You say nothing and neither will I." Sakura promised, looking her alarmed rival in the eye.
"Agreed." Ino shot back, sighing in relief before blinking as she noticed Sakura was blushing "What?"
"How was it for you?"
--
Kakashi and Gai awoke chained to a wall.
The less said about what they was doing chained to a wall the better. The state of dress of the several female ANBU standing in front of them shall be left to the readers' imaginations as well. Needless to say some very youthful things were happening in the ANBU headquarters…secret dungeon.
--
Iruka was currently sitting in front of Ichiraku Teuchi, who was, fittingly, stroking a loaded shotgun. He'd heard legends of the old man before; Out of all the restaurants in town his was the sole one that refused to buckle down to threats to ostracize Naruto, and all attempts to force the issue had been dealt with, swiftly. The bodies of said attempters were never recovered.
"So," Ichiraku Teuchi, master of ramen, former ANBU black ops commander and sensei of one Morino Ibiki noted with a small frown "You've been getting it on with my little Ayane have you?"
--
Domon woke up in a tree, the same tree Fuko had thrown him into for trying to flirt with her the night before. He sighed in depression and made to climb down, unaware that the wind mistress had left him two interesting gifts, a peck on the cheek, and a 'Property of Kirisawa Fuko' tattoo on his rump.
The less said about how he got the tattoo the better.
--
Tokiya lay on his back, thoroughly exhausted, and not a little bit traumatized by the events of the night before. It would seem Hanabishi's father had been right when he'd pulled him aside one evening, the quiet ones really were wildcats in the sack.
Haku lay with her head on his chest, the curves of her body pressed against his own, a sheet of pale silk hiding their decency.
'I'm going to be in a lot of pain if I try to get up aren't I?' the Hyomon-ken master noted wisely, realizing not only was he currently frozen to the futon, but that Haku still had her Senbon pouch on…and nothing else.
--
Recca awoke to find his head in Yanagi's lap, the girl's drool dropping onto his head, causing him to shoot upright. Deciding to let her sleep, he crossed the hallway to the kitchen, blinking as he heard giggles coming from his mom's room.
"Mom?" he called out, opening the door to see what was going on, only to gape in horror at the sight before him.
"CLOSE THE DOOR YOU EEJIT!" Shigeo bellowed, hurling gunpowder balls at his adoptive son as Kagero flushed, holding the sheets up to cover herself.
"GAH! MY EYES!" Recca screamed, running down the hallways covering the violated organs "BLEACH! I NEED BLEACH!"
--
Asuma sat on the balcony of Kurenai's apartment, lighting up a cancer stick and cursing as the lighter refused to catch. Damn, he'd know Kurenai was feisty, but he hadn't expected that!
He blinked as he noticed he wasn't alone, Sasuke and Naruto sitting dazed on the balcony of Anko's apartment, stripped to their shorts, looking shell-shocked and dehydrated. Needless to say, Anko had lived up to her reputation as the wildest Jounin this side of fuck, and the less said about Hyuuga women in heat the better.
The three men regarded each other, Asuma offering the boys some of his smokes, which they accepted, Sasuke using a basic Katon jutsu to light the three up. They each took a drag, the boys coughing at their first hit, before looking out at the sunrise, an odd aura of kinship sinking over them.
There really wasn't anything else to say.
--
Tsunade awoke to find herself lying naked on the hokage desk and Jiraiya scribbling away with his back to her. She frowned, walking up behind him and punting him out a window, blinking as she realized he'd dropped his notebook, picking it up and skimming through it despite her better judgment.
And so the princess returned with the sage to the village, and an era of prosperity reigned as the villagers celebrated her return with a village wide orgy that lasted a week-
"Damn pervert." She muttered, though it was with a small smile as she flipped to the start of the book, raising an eyebrow as she read through the story.
Genma and Shizune tried to tiptoe out of the room without being seen; it wouldn't do to interrupt the sennin, especially when she started to blush.
--
No joke this time, no time, gotta work.
See ya'll soon, if you review!
Review if you love fanfiction