Chapter Five
I continued to sit awake.
Josh had stayed, just like he said he would, but had fallen asleep long before I managed to. I didn't hold it against him. It was just like old times. I used that time wisely, however. I knew with Josh in here, they'd never attempt to come inside.
Sometime passed midnight, I returned to the window. Not only was it pitch dark outside, but dead silent as well. Aside from an occasional breeze rustling the early summer leaves in the tree outside my window, I couldn't hear a thing.
Sitting back down on the sill, I kept my gaze outside. It was a habit of mine to sit here when I had to think. It gave me something to look at besides my own four walls. It usually helped me to know that the world went on outside my room.
Tonight, however, it didn't help as much.
"I know you're out there." I whispered, "What do you want from me?"
Of course I wasn't answered. I half expected to be, but nothing but silence followed.
I knew I'd have to face this now if I wanted to avoid having to hide for the rest of my life, but it was actually doing it that would be the hard part. I just had no idea what to expect. It was like being forced to face a part of me that I'd turned away from.
With a deep sigh, I stood up. Crossing the room, and making it out into the hall silently. I'd had so much practice when it came to sneaking around, I wasn't worried about waking Josh up. I questioned my sanity all the way down the stairs. Not only because I was going outside in just my pajamas, but because I was going outside at all. About to face something I really didn't want to face.
I would have given anything to keep letting myself hide, but I knew they wouldn't give up.
With everyone else already asleep, slipping outside was easy. I chose to step out into the backyard, as it was more private. If they were anywhere nearby, they'd find me. I used that time to steel myself. Bracing myself against whatever emotion I might find during this little meeting. I was so mixed up, even I couldn't tell how I was feeling.
The night wasn't too cold, yet I shivered. I wasn't sure why. I wasn't exactly afraid, but I knew this wouldn't be easy. It was like facing a memory I didn't want to face. Digging up an old part of me that I'd fought to bury a long time ago.
My bare feet made almost no sound on the grass passed the concrete of the back patio. We had a pretty decent sized back yard, so coming to stand a few feet from the house was more than far enough.
The yard was almost pitch dark, so it was pretty hard to see anything beyond two feet in front of my face. Not many of the neighbors chose to leave any outdoor lights on at night, and we were no different. Somewhere down the street, a single dog barked but that was it for the sound.
Listening to the dog barking, the voice coming from just ahead of me in the dark startled me into jumping a little, looking sharply in that direction.
"Leandra."
It was Carlisle. I'd expected that, but as my eyes adjusted more to the darkness out here, I could see more.
I closed my eyes against the emotion that instantly tried to overwhelm me, but I couldn't speak yet. This was a voice I hadn't heard for almost five entire years. The last of their voices I'd ever heard. A voice I tried not to let myself hope to hear again in the beginning, hoping to hear that it all had just been a huge misunderstanding.
When I opened my eyes, the yard in front of me was crowded. I felt like I'd suddenly been punched in the stomach, complete with dizzying nausea at exactly who stood there, crowding the spot in front of me. Maybe feet away.
As prepared as I thought I was, this was a lot.
The Cullens. All of them. All at once. I was expecting maybe one or two.
Emmett, Jasper, Alice. Rosalie, and Mikah, off toward the back, staring at the grass. Even Edward, for fuck's sake. I even recognized Bella standing beside him looking around. It was Carlisle and Esme I'd seen first, maybe half a step ahead of everyone else.
I was speechless. I wasn't sure what I expected, but this was hard. Facing the ones I would have given everything for just a few years before, a lot of the memories I fought against for so long suddenly came back. A lot was happening in those few silent seconds.
They were probably waiting for me to speak, or even to show any kind of reaction to seeing them. As it was, I hadn't really done much.
"Look at you." Emmett broke the silence with a quiet laugh.
"Look at me." I agreed breathlessly, nodding a little. Last time I'd seen them, I'd been probably over a foot shorter than I stood now. Far from as grown-up as I looked now, still just a kid then. Maybe just a hint of what I was to become in my features.
"I'm sorry if we surprised you." Carlisle spoke up.
"No." I mumbled, "It's okay. I just.. I.." I forced a breathless laugh, "I don't even know." It seemed like I'd forgotten how to speak as well. I couldn't even look at them, somehow feeling ashamed and nervous. My voice quieted, and my forced smile faded as I glanced up, "What are you doing here? Of all places?"
"We wanted to come see you, shorty." Emmett replied, and I closed my eyes briefly, looking down.
This was really, really hard on me. None of them had changed whatsoever in the nearly five years it'd been since seeing them last. I hadn't exactly expected them to, but looking at them now was like looking straight at a memory. A memory I'd fought against since they left.
It made me feel strange. An odd sort of vulnerability that I couldn't describe. Seeing them last when I was eleven years old, after such a horrible time in my life, the fact that they hadn't changed made me feel that small again. Despite doing a whole hell of a lot of changing myself, I couldn't help finding myself wanting to regard them the same way I did back then. It was difficult, to say the least.
"Really." I mumbled, crossing my arms insecurely, "Why are you here?" I was starting to see that I'd be choosing the angry emotion over all the others, "How- I mean.. I know how, but.. I guess.. Why did you find me?"
"We wanted to see you." It was Alice that replied this time.
"Now?" I asked, "Now you wanted to see me? It doesn't work like that. Maybe it does for you, but not for me. You can't just show up out of nowhere like this, and expect me to not be suspicious."
"You're mad." Emmett pointed that out.
"Mad." I replied incredulously, "Yeah, I'm mad. I'm pissed, actually." I paused, listening to the silence for a moment, "I-I'm pissed, and I.. I'm.. Confused, and really hadn't expected this. That should really tell you something. Now.. After how many years, now you want to see me? That's bullshit."
More silence.
"What's the real reason?" I asked, quieting my voice with a whole lot of effort, "I think I deserve a real explanation on why you all just decided to show up out of nowhere just to-"
"Hold on." I shut up at Alice's quiet request. I wasn't sure why, but her request was enough to stop my rant right in its tracks. They all seemed to be listening, but studying me at the same time, but it was Alice that stepped forward. I watched her approach, puzzled but admittedly curious. It was even weirder to see her this close. Across the yard was one thing, but this close was different.
How much time had I spent looking up to her? Both figuratively and literally. Now we were about the same height. It was pretty even, and I was perhaps a little taller than her, but just as slight. I'd always been pretty thin, so I knew that wasn't a surprise.
She came to stand in front of me, frowning a bit in thought as she looked me over.
"What?" I asked defensively. I didn't like being inspected this way. She spoke again, this time surprised.
"You're pregnant?"
Right off the bat. Straight to the point. I wasn't used to that forward sort of questioning, so I didn't know how to reply.
"Two heartbeats." She explained when I stared at her in surprised confusion, "It's faint, but it's there." That, I understood, and I looked down immediately. Not only was I embarrassed, but I was scared.
"Yeah." I muttered, "Yeah, but.. T-That's none of your business." I was fighting to keep that anger I'd just had. It was all I had to keep me strong.
"Does Heather know?" She asked, and once again, I fought to remember how to speak.
"You're not answering me." I snapped quietly, "This isn't about me. O-Or.. The other thing."
Hesitantly, she looked over at Carlisle. I chose not to, but I thought about it. What if they decided to ask her about it? That couldn't happen. I wasn't ready for that.
"No." I spoke up again and she looked to me once more, "No, she doesn't know. Neither does Josh, Zack or Mike, and I want to keep it that way for now."
"Leandra." Esme's disappointment sounded just like it did before. I held back a physical cringe.
"No." I countered, unable to help it as I shook my head at the ground, "You don't get to do that. You don't get to just show up here and make me feel bad. That's not-"
"How far along are you?" Alice asked, shutting me up again. I fell quiet, hesitating before I answered.
"Eighteen weeks." I muttered, "I was almost exactly four months when I got looked over at the clinic two weeks ago."
"And you know who the father is?" She asked.
I rolled my eyes, "No, I had a gang-bang in the back of a van." The sarcasm in my tone was heavy before it evened out, "Yes, I know who the fucking father is, and he knows about it. I'm not that stupid."
"I'm just making sure." She replied, trying to calm me down. It worked, as I took a breath.
"Leandra," Carlisle spoke up again, but instead of looking at him, I looked back down, "Please. I know we have no right to ask anything of you, but I-"
"Damn right you don't." I grumbled bitterly. I couldn't even look at him. As far as I was concerned, both he and Esme had let me down the most. Out of everyone there, they'd hurt me most by being the ones to decide to leave me there.
Alice reached gently for my hand but I jerked it away once I saw her start to move.
"No." I told her firmly, "This isn't okay."
"Okay." She replied, obviously trying to ease me, "Just please. Listen."
I snorted, "Why?" I turned sharply, looking toward the others while carefully avoiding looking at Carlisle or Esme. I crossed my arms again, tighter this time, "Why should I listen to anything any of you have to say?"
"She's overwhelmed." Edward murmured.
"Don't you do that." I snapped at him now, "I'm not overwhelmed. I'm pissed. You all left me, remember?" Seeing them all, I was having a hard time reading their expressions. The only movement from any of them was Mikah. He shook his head at the ground in much the same way I had before.
"I know." Carlisle spoke again, and I looked down, "I understand that we have no right to ask anything of you, but I must ask for just a small moment of your time, and a chance to explain."
I didn't know what to say at first. Anger silencing me until I could sort my thoughts enough to reply.
"I don't need your excuses." I mumbled, "I don't need anything from you." My heart beat too fast, and I hated that they all could hear it. I was angry, but there was more to it. A whole lot to it that even I had a hard time figuring out.
"I know.." I went on, "You made your choice. Y-You made your choice, and I didn't like it much, but what could I do about it?" I needed to end this before I lost it. I waited maybe thirty seconds for any kind of response, but other than that, I wasn't waiting any more. The longer I waited, the harder it was not to cry.
"I don't know." I finally muttered with a shrug, my quiet voice heavy with emotion, "Why don't you try again tomorrow? Or better yet, how about in five more years? Ten years? I might decide to come around by then."
I almost couldn't make myself turn around, but I managed to. Walking away with another shake of my head. I was grateful that my emotion was able to be held back until I had my back turned to them. Holding my breath against the sobs that ached to rip free. The scarring where my heart was forced to heal crumbled, breaking all over again.
The eleven year old in me, the one that never had a chance to recover, wanted to stay there talking to them for as long as I could, but the fifteen year old knew better. The eleven year old wanted to know exactly what was wrong with me, while the fifteen year old knew that this was for the best. To walk away now in an effort to protect myself.
The fact that they'd show up now, out of the blue for no apparent reason bothered me. Like they expected everything to be okay again after they left me.
I got back into the house, slamming the door behind me before turning and slamming the heel of my palm against the wall beside the door roughly in an intense increase of emotion. An angry noise leaving me loudly as I did so.
I hated this emotion. The ripping, tearing pain in my heart that I thought had, until right then, been healed. Despite knowing full well that something like abandonment left wounds in a person that could never be healed, but now it clenched my entire chest in unimaginable pain. The worst part was they acted like it was no big deal. They just didn't seem to understand exactly what it was they'd done to me.
I wouldn't go so far as to say that they thought I was over-reacting, as they did seem to understand that this was warranted, but they expected me to be okay with this? They really didn't know me at all anymore. Sure, maybe I would have forgiven them a few years back, but now, it wouldn't be so easy.
I knew my tears were coming, but they left little chance to fight them. I moved my way forward, finding the closest dining room chair to sit in. It was better to be sitting when I got like this. I'd learned that the hard way. My trembling, the physical evidence of the emotion I fought hard against, left little choice.
"Leandra?" Heather had found me just as my sobbing really started. No doubt having heard me slam the door.
The kitchen light flipped on, and I closed my eyes around my tears, covering my face with my palms in a feeble attempt to hide them from her. I listened to her sad sigh as she came forward, quickly pulling another chair closer to mine and wasting no time in sitting down and hugging me to her.
I couldn't stop the sobs. I'd learned by now that it was pointless to try when they got like this, and Heather had too. The only thing she could really do to help was be there. I'd cried myself out this way so many times in the past, over this same thing.
I'd been doing so well. Now I was unraveling right in her arms again exactly like I used to, and it scared me. I wasn't just upset for me, though. I was upset because I was upsetting everyone else. Just as I'd noticed it myself, they were noticing it too. All their hard work was being undone.
One glance told me that Heather hadn't been the only one woken up. Josh stood watching, leaned against the kitchen doorway, his arms crossed over his chest tensely. The worst expression in his eyes that I'd seen in a long time. Zack beside him, both arms behind him, braced back against the refrigerator. He stared at the floor, and he looked miserable as well.
Mike stood just behind Josh, watching as well. Hunter sleepily rubbing his eyes in his arm.
"I'm sorry." I sobbed shakily into Heather's shoulder.
"Sweetheart." She murmured in reply, "Don't be sorry. Don't apologize." I broke again, "It's okay." I clung to her and her words. Right then, it was all I had. The pain, the emotional damage physically hurt me. I'd learned the hard way a long time ago that being so broken could cause physical pain.
I remembered this pain well.
Once I managed to calm down, emotionally exhausting myself, I went right back to bed. Back into the shelter of my room, which only tried to upset me again. Before tonight, this room was the last place I'd ever seen them.
After a brief visit with Josh, and a request to be alone, I was able to sleep a little while. When I woke in the morning, however, I found it hard to even want to leave my room. I knew for a fact that if today had been a school day, I wouldn't have gone.
I was falling back into my old rut.
The time I spent in there was used to think about where I was. It was a defensive move at this point to do that. I did it when they first left me, and I did it now that they seemed to be back. For whatever reason. I just really hoped that this didn't put me back into the same spot that I'd been in when it all started.
I couldn't go back to that.
They had to know how upset I'd been. I knew they didn't leave as soon as I walked away. They'd stuck around. That was pretty embarrassing, and something I hoped they'd never bring up. Heather at least had the decency not to bring stuff like that up when it happened. She never treated me any different because of it.
That morning, Mike had come to see me before he left for work. He'd been so busy lately, it was a visit I hadn't expected but welcomed all the same. He offered to take me to work with him to give me a distraction. Something he hadn't done in awhile, and I had to admit that I was tempted. I used to love spending that time with him, but I passed on it today. I wanted a chance to recover a bit before I went out again.
Heather took the day off work so she could stay with me. I now found the benefit of her accumulating so many favors for those she worked with. It was easy to find someone to cover for her.
It was never a good day after a night like the night before. I was always emotionally sore, which was also nearly a physical pain. That was something I needed time to recover from. Time I always spent in my room. Withdrawn.
It was times like now that I wondered if a heart could break hard enough to bruise it. Of course, I knew a heart doesn't actually break, but it sure felt like it. It sure felt broken. Almost hesitant to keep beating, and it was also a feeling I knew well.
It definitely would have been a better idea to have kept the group last night to a minimum. Seeing absolutely everyone at once was most definitely what overwhelmed me the most, and it wasn't a good idea. I might have been more agreeable last night had only one or two of them been there, but then again, I doubted it.
Seeing anyone would have caused the same reaction. There was no way I couldn't react this way. They had been such a huge part of my life back then. To have them all turn their back that way did something to me that I had yet to find the words to describe.
I made it out of my bed long enough to cross the room to the window once more. As paranoid as I was about someone possibly watching me, I always felt better by watching out the window. Especially when the window was open, and I could let in a damp breeze.
I really wasn't at all surprised when, around noon, the now-familiar fancy car pulled up in front of the house. I didn't have it in me to leave my perch by the window. I just watched, shaking my head a little as Carlisle stepped out first. Esme not far behind.
Really looking at them for the first time, I was really grateful for the time I spent numbing myself. How much time had I spent looking up to them the most?
"You shouldn't be here." I muttered, mostly to myself, but I knew they'd have no problem hearing it. Proving that, Esme looked up at my window, and at me. For really the first time, I met her eyes. The sad emotion in her eyes tried to hurt me too, like it would have before, and I knew she saw that. I looked away.
As they approached the front door, I found myself curious. Not curious enough to make any sort of appearance, but curious enough to want to listen in. I wanted to know what Heather would say.
I carefully opened my bedroom door just in time for the doorbell to ring. I stepped out into the hall, but I paused outside my bedroom. Well out of sight, but I could still listen in to what was being said downstairs. I'd already figured that out long ago. Turning around, leaning back against the wall and sitting down to listen in, just to solve my own curiosity.
"Carlisle." Heather greeted almost bitterly, "What a surprise."
"I know it's unexpected," I clearly heard him say, "But I'd like to come in and explain."
"Leandra isn't exactly up to visitors right now." Heather replied, "I've just gotten her calmed down, so if you wouldn't mind maybe coming back another time-"
"I meant that I wanted to explain to you." Carlisle insisted, "Please."
I listened to silence, and then her sigh. Moments later, the front door closed, but I didn't have the chance to hope she still refused.
Heather spoke again, "I wish you would have called or something first. I really wish you had. Something like this would have been better with a little bit of a heads up. To give her a chance to prepare for it. Knowing you've come back knocked her right off her feet again."
"Understatement." I mumbled to myself, and though I knew they heard that, they couldn't reply to it.
"Again?" Carlisle asked.
I heard Heather sigh, as she knew as well as I did that this explanation wasn't going to be an easy one. They did deserve to know, though. They needed to know what happened, what them leaving actually did to me. Somehow, I knew they really didn't know. They didn't know what I'd lived through.
When Heather spoke again, her voice was a little further away. I recognized the direction. She'd led them into the front room, off to the left of the front door.
"When you all left her before," Heather explained, "She didn't handle it as well as you seemed to have."
"We've noticed." Esme replied, and I clearly heard the sadness and regret in her tone, "We never wanted to upset her."
"If that were true," Heather countered, "Then you wouldn't be here right now. You never would have left her in the first place." It was silent for a moment, and I knew Heather was just gathering her thoughts.
"Leandra.." Heather went on, "She amazes me. I've never, in all my years, seen anyone come back from being shattered the way she was. Not in the way she has."
More silence, so Heather spoke again.
"It was pretty touch and go there for awhile." She murmured, "Sleepless nights, days she wouldn't even get out of bed, much less go to school. We pressed her, getting her to go to school, only to get called thirty minutes after school started, with the school nurse or counselor telling us that we needed to come get her."
"Fighting?" Esme asked quietly. I shook my head. That was the old me. Someone that didn't exist anymore.
"I wish." Heather replied, "Fighting, I could handle. Anger, I could handle. No. It would be a panic attack." Given the brief pause, I knew they were surprised. They really had no clue.
"She'd get so scared, for no reason." Heather explained, quietly now, "She couldn't catch her breath, and when she couldn't catch her breath, she'd panic and make it worse. It was so humiliating for her, and she begged me not to send her back."
"How terrible." Esme whimpered. I shook my head again. Though she did sound sincere in her emotion, she had no right to feel pity for me.
I wasn't exactly sure why they were surprised. They'd seen that kind of behavior from me while I was living with them. Not to the degree Heather had, but it was still the same. Carlisle had to remember the times he'd try to get me to go to school.
"Her anxiety had gotten too heavy for her to handle anymore." Heather continued, "She couldn't leave the house without having one of those panic attacks. The ones that usually scared the hell out of me. It scared the hell out of me to know she was suffering so much that she couldn't breathe, and to know she was so scared.. I couldn't do anything, but go and pick her up.
"I thought if we waited, if we were patient with her, that it would get better, but it never did. It only got worse. Worse by the day, by the hour. It was consuming her, and the hardest part of all of that was watching her let it. To see her give up, to see that light in her grow dark, it was the hardest thing I'd ever seen." And that was saying something.
"It got to the point where I couldn't leave her side either. Any time I tried to leave her, for any reason, she'd throw herself into a panic attack. Often resulting in her getting sick. She refused to eat, and never slept longer than necessary. Staying awake for days at a time.
"She had developed a pretty decent case of separation anxiety and depression. She was so scared, terrified all the time, the slightest thing would break her down."
I listened to the silence that followed. She was letting that sink in for a moment. Hearing her explain it this way, to fill them in and hearing the emotion in her voice just made me feel bad all over again, but they needed to hear it this way.
Heather continued, "So I did what I could for her. I stayed with her as often as I could, but I could see that that was only making it worse. I had to put her back together again, which unfortunately involved taking her to see a specialist when she was twelve. Oh, she hated me for it, but it wound up being just enough of a boost to get her over that snag.
"She was prescribed two anxiety medications. One was a long term, every day. Low dose, but it kept it in check through school days. The other was for days when she needed a little bit of extra help calming down. I saw immediate improvement. It no longer felt like she was falling." I heard the small smile in her tone, "It felt like I'd caught her. Like I'd finally done something right regarding her, and we could start helping her climb back up."
Hearing all this from her was nothing new. I was there. I knew all this.
"She took the first medication for about a year and a half, before she wanted to stop taking it. Her psychologist said she could, so I'm not complaining too much. She tapered off of that. Though there was hardly any risk of addiction or dependence, it was still better to slowly ease off of it in her case. To give her a chance to build up her own defenses, so to speak." Another brief pause.
"She did well on her own for about three months, before I got another call. Thankfully, it wasn't anything like the ones I'd get before. She was willing to stay at school, but she needed her secondary medication. She'd forgotten it at home, and needed me to bring it to her. She was thirteen at this point, and with the pressures of eighth grade, I could understand where she was coming from.
"It was then that I knew. I didn't dare hope before, but after that, everything changed. She was willing to live again. After.. So long of not knowing if she'd ever be okay again, she was okay. It was all I could have ever asked for. Just to know she was okay."
It was silent for a moment after that. They were getting to know what leaving had done to me. Though I doubted they'd ever fully understand, they were beginning to see. They didn't know before. The picture Heather was painting for them was probably really different from what they'd imagined. I honestly hoped that hearing this was hard for them.
Heather went on, "It took.. A lot of hard work to get her passed all that and to get her to this point. She'd been panic attack free for almost a year by now, and when I got that text message from Josh yesterday, I knew it had to be something big."
"Was she okay?" Esme asked, obviously concerned, "Yesterday?"
"Last night wasn't a very good night for her." Heather answered, "As you can imagine, after finding out you came back, I guess all those old emotions sort of started back up again. She has medication for times like this, but Josh told me she refused. She hates taking it, I think because she sees it as cheating. It does help her, but I can only pressure her so much to take it. She's delicate. When she cries the way she did last night, and can't breathe like that, it scares me to no end."
"Of course." Carlisle replied, "I apologize. We never expected her to react like that."
"How could you not?" Heather asked, "To someone like her, it takes a lot to not only count on someone, but to trust them the way she trusted you, and to her, you threw that trust in the garbage the moment you told her you were leaving. Every other person in her life has proven to fail her, and that didn't mean anything to you when it came time to drop her and leave the way you did. I can't even imagine the pain that must have caused her, and I was here the whole time she was going through it."
I smiled sadly. I was glad she was on my side, and telling them like it was.
"I assure you, we had a reason for leaving her the way we did." Carlisle replied.
"Care to explain?" She asked in return, "What reason in the world could ever be good enough to cause her that much pain? To hurt her, to break her that badly?"
"We wanted to give her the best possible chance at learning to live her life." Esme explained instead, "With us in the way, she was holding onto all the fear associated with that time in her life."
"I see." Heather didn't buy it either.
"We thought it best to let her go, though now we know what it must have been like, and I can't apologize enough." Carlisle added quietly.
"Do you?" Heather asked him, and though her tone wasn't a loud one, it was heavy, "Do you know what it's like watching someone you love go through being abandoned that way? To not be able to answer her when she asks what she did, because you don't even know the answer to that? She was safe here, but to hear the way she cried during the night, or when I needed to leave her for thirty seconds to use the bathroom, you wouldn't know it. It killed me. I felt so helpless, not having the ability to help her through this. You obviously had no possible clue what you meant to her, did you? And then, to just show up out of the blue like you did, it was very, very inconsiderate and I worry deeply that it just destroyed her again."
Heather paused, taking a breath.
"Personally," She went on, "I think she deserves better than that."
"Absolutely." Esme spoke up, "I agree one hundred percent. She does deserve better than uncertainty. She deserves better than not knowing exactly where she stands. She deserves the stability that can only come from having a single family. Five years ago, we made the choice to let her go. Surely you know what it would mean for her if we had allowed her to have it both ways."
"I get it." Heather replied, "Believe me, I do. All I'm saying, is you have to understand. I'm not standing between you and her to be mean or bitter. I'm doing it to protect her and because it's what I think she needs. If she showed the slightest interest in seeing you again, I would step aside. Of course I would.
"You should have gone about leaving her in a different way, because it tore her apart. Her being torn apart like that tore not only me, but my boys apart, and I'm sure I don't need to reiterate what I turn into when my babies are hurting." She gave a tense laugh, so I knew she was trying to lighten the mood, "I'm mama bear. I don't take kindly to anyone hurting my cubs, and I've always considered Leandra one of mine. I've known her since she was five months old, so she's my cub too. I'm always going to do what I think is best for them. Especially her."
"Of course." Carlisle replied.
"Mike will be home for lunch in about ten minutes." She went on, "I'm sure he'd like to know what's going on, and to give you his side before I talk to him about letting you see her."
Whoa. Somehow it surprised me to hear Heather using that tone against them. It must have meant more to her than I thought before.
"We'll be happy to wait." Esme replied, "I'd like to get this sorted."
Heather sighed again, "Me too. Leandra.. She's a fighter. All those sleepless nights, all the nights she cried herself sick.. She's worked so hard to get to where she is. Rather, where she was two days ago. I don't want to see all her hard work mean nothing."
Just hearing all this from her made me want to cry. I was definitely in a delicate state, and very emotional. I debated whether or not I should go down there, but I decided against it. Let them handle themselves for a moment. I wasn't up to seeing anyone just yet.
I looked over, though, at Zack's approach. Him having just left his room. He offered a small, supportive smile as he sat down next to me in the hall.
"This has to be so weird for you." He murmured quietly. He was obviously aware of what was going on.
"It is." I replied, sniffling a little, "I don't even know how I'm supposed to feel. Like.. Part of me wants to see them, but.. The other part just doesn't want to deal with that again, you know? I thought it was over."
"I was going to see Andrew today." He said, "I haven't heard anything from him since yesterday when he went home, and wanted to see if he's okay. I could stuff you into a backpack and sneak you out with me if you want."
I had to smile a little at his offer, "Thanks, but nah. I kind of just want to hide out today."
"Fair enough." He replied, "I hope you feel better, Leandra. Text me if you want me to bring you anything back." That didn't sound half bad.
"Hold on." I said, pushing myself to my feet. He followed suit, watching as I rounded into my room. Heading over to my dresser and grabbing my wallet, I pulled out the only $5 bill I had.
"Anything chocolate." I requested and he laughed, "Please."
"You got it." He replied, accepting the money I handed him. I trusted him with it, so it wasn't a big deal to let him have it.
"And maybe a pack of those little peanuts." I added and he laughed again. I knew that he'd know what I was talking about. I got them occasionally while I was out with them.
"Should I make a list?"
"It might help." I admitted.
"So anything chocolate, and those little peanuts.." He smiled, "Anything else?"
"Just the peanuts." I replied, "And the chocolate. And let me know how Andrew's doing." He nodded.
"Not a problem." He said, "I'll be back later." I nodded this time. Accepting his hug before he left my room, descending the stairs. I moved toward my door, but hesitated in closing it.
"Hey." I heard him say in greeting to Carlisle and Esme, "Where's everyone else? Or did you leave all them on the side of the road somewhere?"
"Come on, Zack." Heather corrected, but without an apology, the front door opened and closed. I had to smile a little, shaking my head. Leave it to Zack to say what's on his mind.
A/N: Nice place to leave it. :)
As you can see, this one is a bit longer than the others. I had a lot of description to add. Hope nobody minds. :)
I absolutely love it when a reviewer gives their thoughts/suspicions. No joke, totally makes my day! Of course, I absolutely love any review you guys are willing to leave, but it's fun when I see you guys guessing. THANK YOU to my wonderful reviewers of last chapter. You're amazing!
As with all the others, chapter six probably won't take too long. Little KNeu sleeps through the night now, so I'm able to get a lot done. Literally through the night lol about 8-10 hours at a time. Sometimes more, if I'm willing to leave him alone.
Anyhoo.
Until six, my friends!