Chapter Six
It was only a few minutes after Zack left that Mike got home. I decided then to stay in my room and let them handle it. I didn't know what Carlisle thought he was doing by coming here, but I could almost guarantee that this talk with Mike wasn't going to be a good or easy one.
Maybe he thought that by making good with Heather and Mike, they could get to me easier. I had enough confidence in Heather, though, that I knew that if I didn't want to see them, I wouldn't have to. So I closed my bedroom door, and I turned on some music. Not too loud. Only loud enough for me to listen to comfortably and I laid on my bed. I was in the mood to listen to hard rock, so that's what I put on.
Sighing heavily, I winced as I stretched. I'd been getting increasingly achy as the weeks went by. It wasn't unbearable, but I could definitely do with a massage or something. Laying on my back, my hands lightly rested over the reason behind my discomfort.
My hands gently patted along with the music that played as I stared at the ceiling.
I had yet to really focus much on it. As much as I tried, my mind stayed foggy when it came to the baby. Like I couldn't face it. I was drawing a blank, and honestly wasn't any closer to a solution than I had been when I first found out. Every time I tried, my thoughts shied away from the subject, moving onto something else. I knew I still had a few more months to figure my shit out, but really thinking about it, that wasn't very much time.
Currently, those thoughts seemed obsessed with what was going on downstairs. Despite how I tried not to think about that.
This was supposed to be my recovery day, dammit. Couldn't they respect that? It was bad enough they showed up at all. They could at least respect recovery days.
It was the weirdest thing. Seeing them clearer this time shook me.
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I was trying really hard not to think too much, but also trying really hard not to throw up. It was a careful balance.
I jerked awake, however, not even noticing I had fallen asleep. Startled out of sleep by something as I looked sharply around the room. I hadn't been asleep that long, as it wasn't really that much later.
"Leandra?" Oh. It was Zack outside my bedroom door. That was what woke me up. Rolling to the side with a grunt of effort, I turned the music down.
"Yeah." I replied, rubbing my face. Letting him know he could come in. The door opened, and he stepped in. Closing the door behind himself before he crossed the room to sit with me.
"Were you sleeping?" He asked, and I shrugged.
"I might have been." I admitted. He laughed a little.
"I hope you're not getting sick too." He replied, handing me a plastic shopping bag. The contents of the bag caught my full interest.
"Too?" I frowned a little as I immediately reached into the bag.
"I guess Andrew's sick." He answered, "Richard said he's been sleeping since last night, and he's got a fever that's through the roof. He wouldn't even let me in to see him."
"Aw." I muttered, "That sucks. I hope he's okay." I sincerely did. Being sick was no fun. I sighed as I ripped open the little pack of peanuts I retrieved from the bag, "No, I'm not getting sick. Just tired."
"Might as well sleep." He allowed, "They're still here." I frowned, looking over at him. That was news.
"Still?" I asked in disbelief, "Wow. Mike didn't throw them out?"
"I guess not." He said, "They're just talking now. Didn't even notice when I got home."
"Weird." I commented, dumping out a palm full of peanuts into my hand, immediately dumping them in my mouth. Zack watched me, surprised.
"What?" I asked defensively.
"Don't choke." He laughed a little.
"I've been craving these." I admitted, and thankfully, he didn't seem too suspicious of that statement. It was fairly innocent when he didn't know about my current condition. That made me think, though. As I dumped out another palm full. I stared at the peanuts in my hand, a thought suddenly crossing my mind.
What could they possibly have to talk about that would capture Heather and Mike's attention that much? With a sinking heart, my mind answered that for me.
How did I just now think about this?
Shit.
Setting everything on my bed, I stood up fast enough to startle Zack and headed for the door. Yanking it open and jogging carefully down the stairs until I reached the bottom. I knew it was rude to eavesdrop, but I couldn't help it. I needed to listen in. I reached the room, nearly skidding to a stop in the open doorway.
I honestly wasn't going to make an appearance, but I had to.
"Leandra." Heather noticed me immediately, and I knew by her tone that she was unhappy. The conversation stopped as Heather's attention captured everyone else's. Even Hunter's, who sat coloring at the table against the wall minding his own business.
Open on the table in front of Heather was a folder, papers inside it. Mike, from where he sat, had to turn to look at me. I quickly understood what that folder was.
I should have known they could get a hold of that from the free clinic. Easily.
"Really?" I snapped in both Carlisle and Esme's direction, "That was low!" Esme only looked down.
"Come in here, please." Heather requested quietly, "I think we need to talk."
"What?" Zack seemed confused, having come to stand behind me.
"You just couldn't leave it!" I snapped at them again.
"I'm glad they didn't." Mike answered instead, "Come on in here." I cursed under my breath, turning a little on the spot in disbelief. Hunter sat, watching wide eyed at my outburst.
"What'd you do?" Zack recognized Mike's tone, obviously nervous for me. I was in trouble.
"Leandra." Mike prompted again, and that got me moving. I dragged myself into the living room with everyone else. Zack tried to follow, but Mike spoke again, "No, Zack. You go on upstairs. Take Hunter with you."
He stopped, but hesitated with a look to me before he did as Mike told him. Hunter didn't need to be told twice. Easily getting up and moving to Zack's side. I felt a little bad for scaring him, but I couldn't help it.
I found a tense seat in the other chair on the opposite side of the couch as Mike. To Heather's left. It was silent in the room until we heard Zack's bedroom door close upstairs. I doubted he was really in his room, probably listening at the top of the stairs like I always did.
"Well?" Mike spoke first and I flinched a little. He wasn't exactly loud, but he was definitely not happy, "You obviously know what this is." He snatched the folder up off the table, closing it roughly. As if that would erase what was inside it.
"I know." I muttered, looking down, "I know."
"Why didn't you tell us about this?" Heather asked me, "Do you have any idea how serious this is?"
"I know." I repeated, "I didn't even know until two weeks ago."
"You knew that long?" Mike asked sharply.
"Shit." I sighed. Taking a breath, I went on, "I took a couple home tests because I stopped getting my period-"
"And they were positive." He already knew, "Because you waited so long."
"I didn't know that that was the reason." I defended myself, "I-I thought it could have been something else. It was just once."
"Goddammit, Leandra." Mike sighed, roughly tossing the folder back on the table. It landed with a sharp sound and I flinched again, "You're smarter than this. Pregnant?"
"Mike." Heather finally spoke up, stepping in for me, "Yelling at her isn't going to fix this."
"Whose is it?" I fell quiet at Mike's next question, keeping my eyes down.
"Leandra?" Heather prompted next.
"I don't want to get him in trouble."
"Uh-uh." Mike barked "None of that. It takes two to get into this mess. You didn't do this on your own. If you're going to be sleeping around, you're not going to take all the blame, so who is it? Who's the father?"
"I haven't been sleeping around." That pissed me off too, "I said it was just once! One time!"
"I don't care if it was a hundred times." He countered, "This is serious."
"I know."
"Please." Heather's calmer voice silenced us both, "Just tell us." She hesitated, watching me in my silence, "It was Andrew, wasn't it?"
"Andrew?" Mike asked.
"She just told us it was only the once." Heather replied. He grunted in response, frowning in thought, "Honestly, Mike. You should start listening more."
"I'm just not so sure I believe her when she says it was only the once." He admitted, "I mean, she lied about this, didn't she?"
"Other than this," Heather gestured to the papers, "When has she ever lied to us? And this wasn't even technically a lie. You have no idea what this kind of thing does to someone."
I just sat back. I'd let them argue between themselves for a minute. It took the focus off of me, at least. I tossed a heated glare to the side, and I knew Carlisle caught it. My first real look at him was a glare.
"That proves she was using that head of hers now, at least." Mike countered, "But why wasn't she thinking before? How hard is it? We wouldn't be in this mess if she'd just stopped to think for a second."
"Did you forget how old I was when I had Josh?" Heather asked, "I wasn't much older than her."
"You were way more responsible." He argued, "That's different."
"Living on my own didn't make me near responsible enough to support a baby." She said, "I'd rather she be here than out there on her own, trying to make it work. I wouldn't wish that on anybody."
"You weren't on your own. I was with you."
"You know what I mean." She shook her head, "Would you rather her have run off? I agree to a point that she should have been a little smarter, but these things have a way of taking someone off guard. I'm saying I can understand how everything went wrong, and if you'd take a breath and think, you'd understand too."
He took her advice, though. Standing up, taking a deep breath and running both his hands through his hair as he sighed out that breath. He stayed quiet, staring at the floor for probably ten seconds before he shook his head.
"I need a drink." He grumbled, turning for the door before he paused again, looking back at Carlisle and Esme, "Anybody else want one? A drink?"
"No thank you." Carlisle replied.
"I need one." Mike muttered to himself, leaving the room.
Heather sighed, shaking her head.
"That went well.." I mumbled awkwardly.
"Okay." Heather spoke again over the sound of the liquor stash in the pantry being raided. The clanking sound of a glass bottle hitting a glass had me shaking my head as well.
"I was going to tell you." I said in my defense, "I just.. I didn't know how, because I know someone was going to freak out, and I didn't want someone else freaking out while I was freaking out because that would just make me freak out more.."
"I'm not freaking out." She replied, "I'm disappointed. We've been over this. I know you know. Not only have we been over this, but now, you've got an incredibly difficult decision in front of you. Have you given any thought whatsoever to your options?"
"Uh.."
"Well, keeping it would be the worst decision." She said.
"You kept Josh." I frowned, surprised, "I'm not just going to-"
"I'm talking about adoption." She assured me, probably knowing where my thoughts had gone, "By the time I had Josh, I was used to living on my own. I had a mostly steady job and had income for myself. With Mike there, we were stable enough to handle it. Even then, it was hard. It was very hard."
"I know." I sighed again.
"Don't get me wrong." She murmured, "It's not that I don't think you're mature enough to handle it, but I know that with a baby, your life is going to change. You can't even imagine how much. Of course you'd have help, but I know you're not the type to want to be dependent on us. You've got to think about things like school. How would you go about continuing your education, while holding a job that pays well enough to support the both of you on almost no sleep? Not to mention how time consuming a child is."
I kept my head down the whole time she was talking. She wasn't telling me this out of anger or to try to scare me. I knew that by her tone. She was trying so hard to make me see what she was talking about. I appreciated the way she spoke to me. It made me feel less like I was in trouble, and more like she understood.
"You're fifteen years old." She murmured, "Honey, babies are very time consuming. You have to be ready to get moving at a moment's notice. Every two or three hours all day long." I looked over, surprised, "Yeah. Around the clock. Including at night. There are diaper changes, feedings, cuddling, soothing.. It's work. A lot of work. You'll be tired, but babies don't wait for you to be rested."
I looked down again, trying to imagine what she was telling me.
"Now, can you imagine doing all of that," She went on, "After a full day of school and work? You'll have help, but I'm not raising this baby for you. Honey, I know you're not ready for this." Her tone softened, "There are people out there that are. Adoption is a wonderful option."
"Because it worked so well for me?" I pointed out, "What if whoever adopts it changes their mind too? What if it goes its whole life with nothing but broken promises? Being tossed from house to house, and nobody wanting it either?"
It was clear that she didn't know what to say, given her expression.
"I might have made a big mistake," I muttered, "But I don't want my kid to have to pay for some mistake I made by going through that. It's the worst feeling in the world."
"Is it better to throw the rest of your life away?" Mike had returned, standing in the doorway. I didn't exactly appreciate his tone.
"My life isn't worth much." I stood up, "But I think it'd be worse if I gave it up just to make it easier on you."
"Leandra." Heather sighed, "That's not-"
"I messed up." I went on, ignoring Heather, "I admit that now, but how would I live with myself if I knew my kid was out there somewhere, going through God knows what, because you couldn't handle it?"
"We're heading into the closest adoption agency tomorrow." Mike replied firmly, "You might not like me for it now, but you'll thank me later."
"The fuck we are." I said, surprised. Heather stood up as well, rounding the table to come stand beside me.
"You're fifteen." Mike stressed, "You're not old enough-"
"I'll be sixteen before it's born." I snapped, "You can't make me give it up."
"Now, wait a second." Heather held her hands out, as if trying to calm us, "Both of you, just cool it. We'll talk more about this later when you've both had a chance to calm down."
"Right." I scoffed, already striding toward the door. I was too pissed, and I needed to calm down.
"Tomorrow." Mike told me firmly, "Nine A.M. sharp."
"Have fun going on your own." I countered, but I paused. Turning in the doorway, I looked back at Carlisle and Esme. Both having sat there silently.
"I hope you're happy." I told them, "Really. Thank you so much for all this."
"Don't be blaming them." Mike said, "It's not their fault you were so irresponsible."
"I'm not saying it was!" I shouted this time at him, and he really didn't like that, "If they'd minded their own goddamn-"
"Watch your tone." He snapped in reply.
"Or what?" I asked. I honestly wasn't afraid. Normally, I would have been at least a little nervous yelling at him like that, but right then, I wasn't. I would have hit him myself had Heather not spoken up.
"Leandra," Heather stepped in again, "Upstairs. Now."
I scoffed, shaking my head as I rounded again, "Fuck all of you."
Instead of going left toward the stairs, I didn't hesitate in heading straight for the front door. I wasn't going to calm down by pacing around my room. I needed to take a walk. I was already having a bad day before. Now it was a disaster. A complete nightmare.
I slammed the front door behind me as hard as I could, my heart pounding too hard not to. Striding down the porch steps, heading for the sidewalk.
Why were they doing this? I was doing just fine until they showed up, but they just couldn't leave well enough alone. Nobody asked them to show up again, much less blab everything to Heather and Mike.
"Leandra." I paused on the sidewalk, looking back in the direction I'd just come at Zack's call, "Wait up." Thankfully, he ran to catch up to me. I wasn't waiting there long. Once he reached my side, I continued on. Of course, he followed, but I didn't mind that. His company was welcome at that point.
At first, we walked in silence. I wasn't even sure where I was going, but that didn't slow me down. I just needed to walk. To move.
"So." He spoke up, but I didn't look over, "Pregnant. Wow." He had been listening.
"Yeah." I muttered, taking a calming breath.
"That explains the peanuts, at least." I had to smile a little at his attempt at humor. He sighed, "Dad's pissed. I'd give it a few hours at least before you go back."
"I plan to." I replied evenly.
"I don't think he'll kick you out." He went on as we rounded the block, heading for town.
"He won't have to." I said, "I'll find some way to live on my own before I let him make decisions for me."
"Now, hold on." He replied, surprised, "You probably don't want to do that. He's just mad. Mom will talk to him, and he'll calm down." I took another, deeper breath. Of course he was right. He spoke again, "Besides. If you leave, I'll have to go with you, and I kind of like my room."
I forced a small smile, but shook my head. I didn't know what to say.
"So if you don't want to give it up for adoption, what?" He asked, curious, "You want to keep it?"
"I don't even know." I admitted, "That's the whole thing I was trying to figure out. I mean, of course I want to keep it, but I know I'm not parent material. I wouldn't have anything to offer it, but at the same time, I'm afraid of letting it go. What if it turns out like me?"
"I think it's different when someone adopts a baby." He said, "Lots of people are looking for babies to adopt. No bad habits, and they can train them the way they want to. Like puppies versus dogs."
"Nice." I snorted.
"But it's the same idea." He defended his point, "Someone adopts a baby when they don't want to let them go. It's the really brave ones that go for the older kids. All I'm saying, is don't give up on the idea. I'm sure you'll have a say in what family it goes to."
"That's true." I muttered.
"You could be as picky as you wanted." He went on, seeing that I was calming down, "It could be one of those types of scenarios where.. What do they call it? Like where they send you updates and pictures, and whatever, and you could still see the kid all the time?"
"Open adoption." I wasn't even sure how I knew that.
"Right." He said, "One of those. You could still hang out with it if you wanted. They do that. Or if you just wanted to be rid of it, then you wouldn't have to." I gave him a look, "Just an option. I heard that sometimes, parents that want it will even pay you for it. Not like.. Buy it, but like pay for like medical bills and things you need while you have it in you."
"I'm not looking for money." I shook my head, "And I think I'm fully covered insurance wise." I was curious one day, so I looked into it.
"Just give it some thought." He nodded to himself, "It's not such a bad idea when dad's not yelling at you. And it's better than being up to your elbows in baby shit while trying to not drop out of school. They barely let you come back here the first time without being held back two grades, remember?"
"I remember." I sighed heavily. I'd missed so much school, it was off and on a lot in the beginning. Not to mention how much school I'd missed before then, while I was living with the Cullens.
"I'll even go with you." He offered, "To pick a family. I mean, if you wanted. I know Andrew would want to be there, but I want to too. I'm pretty good at telling when people are good."
I was incredibly grateful for his immediate and whole-hearted support. I glanced over at him, "Why did I wait so long to tell you?"
"I have no idea." He replied, "I'm freaking amazing." I had to laugh a little at that one. He spoke again, "But seriously, though. Dad doesn't mean to be so hard on you."
"I know." I admitted, looking down at the sidewalk, "I just.. I didn't like that he thinks I don't have a say in what happens. I got mad."
"I heard that happens." He mused, nodding, "But you really made an exit, didn't you?"
I didn't reply to that. Now that I'd calmed down, I had a chance to feel bad. I only felt bad for how I treated Heather. Everyone else in that group could go to hell.
"Where are we going?" He asked, probably trying to change the subject. I suddenly made up my mind, despite being headed there the whole time.
"To see if Josh has a minute to talk." I answered, "I'd rather he hears it from me. Since the stupid cat is out of the bag at home, I know they're not going to keep it quiet."
"A bag is a horrible place for a cat, anyway." He replied easily, "Cats don't belong in bags."
"I agree." I sighed, "It's too exhausting, and usually, they hurt someone on their way out of it."
We got to Josh just as his break was beginning, as luck would have it. He was surprised to see us, to say the least, but actually telling him was harder than I thought it would be. We stood around near the corner of the parking lot, closest to the sign out front.
It was difficult. Hard for me to figure out where to start.
"Just spit it out." He laughed after several minutes of me stalling.
"Trust me." Zack muttered, "It's big." He looked to me, "Want me to tell him?" Despite how it seemed so much like taking the easy way out, I couldn't help being tempted.
"Someone should tell me." Josh replied for me, so I nodded, giving Zack permission.
"Well," Zack started, "Remember what mom said about her and Andrew? As long as they're careful?"
"Yeah?" Josh frowned. He obviously wasn't sure where this was going.
"They weren't."
He only frowned a little more, "In what way?" His arms crossed and I looked back down. I hated this. I was really hoping to be able to tell him in a better way. On my own terms.
"Okay," Zack muttered, "Let's put it this way. Remember when Lucas' dog was in heat a few months ago? I guess Leandra was, too." He gestured to me. I rolled my eyes, cringing at the horrible example.
"Okay?" He still wasn't getting it.
"She's gonna have a puppy." Zack grinned, and I slapped my palm against my forehead.
"A baby." I blurted out, "I'm not an animal, and I'm pretty sure Andrew isn't one either."
"You're pregnant?" Josh finally gasped out, surprised. His crossed arms tensed.
"Very much so." Zack confirmed for me, but I gave a nod of my own, "What was it? Four months?"
"How?" Josh asked, still stunned.
Zack had this one covered, "Well, you see, when two people love each other.. Or at least like each other kind of a little bit-"
"Shut up." Josh barked at him, before he looked to me, "I mean, how have you been pregnant for four months without anyone noticing? Much less, mom?"
"Yeah." Zack frowned, "How'd mom not notice? She's a nurse, for crying out loud."
"Very carefully?" I shrugged, "I don't know. I guess she's just been so busy, and I never really got sick or anything. Maybe it was because I didn't even really know until a few weeks ago. I usually get my own period stuff, so she couldn't have known that I wasn't getting it."
"Ew." Zack's nose wrinkled at the mention of 'period stuff'.
"You weren't getting your period, and that didn't tip you off?" Josh asked.
"I didn't even think about that." I defended myself, "I thought it was stress or something. That's happened before. Come on. I've already been yelled at enough today."
He took a breath, closing his eyes as he held it. When he sighed, I could see he was a little calmer.
"Okay." He said, "I'm sorry. What did mom and dad say?"
"Dad wants to drag her to the nearest adoption agency tomorrow." Zack said, "Mom tells him to just calm down for a second."
"Why?" Josh asked.
"I haven't figured out what I'm going to do yet." I replied evenly.
"Well, you can't keep it." Josh snorted, "It'll ruin your life." I narrowed my eyes.
"Let's not get into that right now." Zack said quickly, "Sore subject, and I don't want you two fighting too."
Josh and I stood there in silence for a moment, before he sighed, "How did they find out? I'm assuming you didn't tell them."
"I was going to." I grumbled, "But I didn't have a chance."
"Carlisle did it for her." Zack added, and Josh's eyes narrowed as well.
"That's pretty fucked up." At least he agreed with me, "Wait.. How did he even find out if you weren't telling anyone?"
"Duh," Zack rolled his eyes before I could even start to get nervous, "He's a doctor, remember? He can find out anything he wants to."
"True." Josh nodded, looking down, "Right." He took another deep breath, holding it a second before letting it out. He looked to me, "I have to get back to work, but we'll talk more about this when I get home. Deal?"
"Deal." I muttered, giving a slight nod.
"Okay." Josh sighed again, stepping forward and hugging me. I appreciated this hug. It told me that despite how much he disapproved, he still cared about me.
With that, we parted ways. Zack and I wandered off, looking for something to do to pass the time. My stomach rolled uncomfortably, despite no longer having to hide anything. It was probably the nerves.
"Don't you find it weird, though?" Zack asked as we headed up the street.
"What?" I asked quietly.
"I can't be the only one who's noticed." He said, "They haven't changed. At all."
I hesitated for a moment. Gathering my best lie.
"Yes they have." I mumbled, "I can't say anything about the others, because I haven't seen them yet, but those two have. Trust me. I'd know."
"Huh." Zack frowned, obviously in thought. Probably doubting his own memory.
"Besides." I went on, "It probably doesn't look like it because it's only been a few years. How much can they change?"
"True." He allowed, his tone still thoughtful. He sighed, "Well, they still look the same to me. Like.. Exactly the same."
"Who was it you saw?" I finally asked, curious, "At the school?" I could finally ask that, since I already knew who all was back.
"Alice." He answered, kicking a rock into the street, "And what's-his-face."
"Jasper?" I asked, and he nodded. So it had been her that showed up there. That only brought up more questions.
Were they all in on it? Or just her? Was she the only reason they decided to come back? She was pretty pushy. If that was the case, what reason would she have had to come hunt me down?
I had to admit, though. I was relieved it was only them, and not someone out to get me. It just didn't make any sense to me, but I did know for sure that there was more to it than they'd told me yet. I wasn't sure, though, if I wanted to know.
It seemed risky to me. To show up here where people could potentially recognize them. Had the rules suddenly changed? Or was whatever this was about more important than some stupid rule?
One thing was for sure. They had no idea what they were coming back to. I was positive they weren't expecting me to react the way I did. They'd still seen me as the same person as I was almost five years ago. They expected me to be happy to see them? Right.
As they found out the night before, they sure had another thing coming.
A/N: Holy moly. That was kinda fun. :D
THANK YOU! To those AMAZINGLY AWESOME reviewers! EEEEEEE! :D!
You're awesome!
Chapter seven won't take long either. Hopefully. I do need to get to work on continuing later chapters, though. I'm catching up rather quickly lol
But, for now..
Until seven, my wonderful friends! :)