Hokage no Isan Chapter 48, a naruto fanfic

Hellboy: okay, seriously, this is getting outright scary right now.

Wesker: What are you looking at ME for?!

Hellboy: You're the one that fixed the damn java machine!

Wesker: Oh sure, blame ME for the fact the machine came from Umbrella!

Nemy: BAAAAAAAAAD! (This is most troublesome!)

Kyugan: Must...keep Updating! Saga...nearly...over!

Melody of the damned; North Gate's Tayuya.

'Dammit, I don't like this.' Naruto growled, leaping through the trees, eyes forwards and teeth clenched 'First Chouji, then Neji, this whole missions been whittling us down!'

'Things like this should be expected.' Kyuubi opined, his voice entering his son's thoughts with cold logic 'Especially considering who these vermin work for.'

'Orochimaru…' Naruto growled, teeth cracking against each other as he picked up the pace, his whisker marks darkening as his eyes shifted from red-ringed blue to demonic red, the slit pupils still retaining their humanity, but only just.

'Calm down!' the Taiyoukai ordered 'What use would losing your temper do?! Did you forget what it did to me?!"

Naruto spasmed, shaking himself as his eyes returned to normal, though the whisker marks and aura of red chakra lining his skin remained, if dulled somewhat. 'Sorry, Tou-san.' He muttered 'It's just…he's cost everyone so much…and if he gets Sasuke-!'

'I doubt it would matter if he did.' Kyuubi noted offhandedly 'That fellow that reeked of illness, what do you think he meant when he said they were 'too late'?'

'Dunno,' Naruto admitted 'be nice if the snake croaked before Sasuke even got there…but seeing as they're still taking him with them that option's out.'

'Leave nothing to chance.' Kyuubi muttered, seemingly hovering at his son's side in astral form 'The serpent in the grass is cunning, even the most daring of foxes looks before he leaps.'

'Old age wisdom?' Naruto scoffed, smirking good-naturedly at his demonic sire's mental image 'Where the heck'd you pick that up?'

'I have, or had, a book of quotes your mother gave me.' The demon replied with a cough 'I merely…took certain liberties here and there.'

'Great, as if learning from ONE plagiarist wasn't bad enough.' Naruto chuckled, ignoring his father's growls as he caught sight of sunlight at the end of the grove of trees. 'Hang in there Sasuke…don't you die till I've taken all the crap we've suffered out of your hide.'

Kimimaro blinked, eyeing the casket under his arm in confusion. He could have sworn he'd heard the vessel inside sneeze, rather loudly in fact. 'Impossible.' He decided, 'The seal has not worn of yet, most likely it is my illness, playing tricks on me.'

"Hold it right there you walking corpse!" a loud voice called out, causing the sole survivor of clan Kaguya to turn to face his pursuer, the blonde youth with the sword. "Sorry, Sasuke's already got enough problems of his own to deal with," the blonde called out, smirking as he stood at the edge of the woods "So I'd really prefer it if you gave him back before he caught something off you…like Pedo-hebi cooties."

"I do not have these…cooties…you speak of." The Kaguya replied flatly "Nor shall I surrender the vessel to you, he belongs to Orochimaru-sama."

"Tell the snake to get in line," Naruto muttered, spitting off to the side, "Half of Konoha's ladies all claim the teme 'belongs' to them…" he shuddered "Actually, if that tattoo he has on his ass is any sign, the only one with any claim on him is Anko…though I'm not one to talk…freaky jounin with her weird fetishes."

Kimimaro honestly didn't know where this conversation was going. One minute the blonde was denying Orochimaru's claim to the vessel, now he was ranting on about some woman and her bizarre habits. What the hell was a dominatrix anyway? Or a love-bite for that matter?

"Am I right in assuming you will attempt to keep me from taking the vessel to Orochimaru-sama?" he asked, noting how the youth snapped to attention, assuming a battojutsu stance "Then that is all I need to know." He muttered, a bone sliding out of his palm as he stood ready "Come."

If there was one thing Nara Shikamaru couldn't understand it was women.

No matter what his father said about how necessary they were he really didn't see why so many otherwise normal guys turned into drooling idiots when one walked past.

It wasn't that he was sexist, hell, his village was the FIRST to promote a kunoichi to the rank of hokage and he was quite content to accept missions from her as he had the Sandaime. So what if she had a huge rack, drank like a fish and had a nasty habit of sleeping on the job, hell he could relate to her on the last one.

It wasn't even that he disliked women, his pre-waking moments were often filled with several attractive young women, often dressed in rather skimpy variations of their usual garb or nothing at all, simply gazing up at the clouds with him or flying by overhead, smiling down at him.

No, what drove the Nara to his wits end was how women could be so damned confusing. One minute so sweet and demure they'd give you cavities, the next biting your damn head off for breathing their air.

It didn't help that he mostly associated with women who seemed to be permanently more inclined to do the latter, his mother, female teammate and her just as annoying rival for example.

Right now he had more pressing concerns to deal with, namely the VERY angry, foulmouthed redhead that was standing in the way of his first mission as a squad leader.

"Don't underestimate my comrades." He warned her, smirking coyly "Oh wait…too late, I forgot about your friends." The smirk vanished rather quickly as the redhead own smirk grew, biting her thumb and slapping a palm down on the branch before her.

"KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!"

Shikamaru eyed the three, undead musclemen lined up between him and his opponent and sighed, an exasperated look on his face as he cursed Naruto and his habit for rubbing off on people.

"Ah crap…"

"I'm gonna play you a funeral dirge." Tayuya called out, a confident smirk on her face as she readied her flute "The one who shouldn't underestimate people…is YOU!"

She began playing on her flute, a lilting, manic tune that stirred the undead giants into action. She felt a slight twinge as her Tenfuuin activated, the lightning bolt tattoos crossing her face and boosting her chakra as the one with the club lashed out at the pesky chunin.

Not letting up, she picked up the pace, the mummy and the one with the spiked gauntlets leapt through the foliage, ripping through branches and trunks with brute strength as sheer momentum as they launched themselves at their target.

'She controls them with her flute?!' Shikamaru yelped, leaping out of the line of fire with a grunt, trying to make sense of their patterns only to be denied the luxury, the brutes giving no clear sign of obeying anything other than the music.

He ducked and weaved, retreating the entire time as he tried to make sense of the melody, but to no avail. Tayuya and the trio kept hedging him in, so even if he dodged one ugly the other two would be ready to swat him back, and charging straight at the woman was a no go, she'd be expecting that.

Pretty soon he found himself backed against a tree trunk, surrounded by the demonic stooges as Tayuya chuckled. "Nowhere left to run to run you fucking rat." The redhead mocked, looking down at the chunin, only to frown as he snorted.

"You're not too shabby," Shikamaru praised "your timings pretty impressive…must've taken a lot of practice, getting that melody of yours just right."

"So you figured it out." Tayuya noted, mildly impressed despite herself "Hell, you even managed to appreciate how difficult the melody is…but there's no way you can interpret it."

"Fraid not," Shikamaru admitted, a wry smirk on his face "Art was never my forte back at the academy…too much like real work."

"Uncultured brat," Tayuya snorted, regarding the nonplussed Nara with a snort, "but then what would a leaf monkey know about art?"

'Fuck all that's what.' Shikamaru muttered to himself 'But if she controls all three with her flute that means that melody contains specific sounds keyed to those bruisers' movements.' He swallowed 'Damn…if it were simply up to analytical ability I'd be fine but I think I'm in real trouble here…why the hell did I have to be born tone deaf?!'

"I'll give you credit for lasting this long," Tayuya praised scornfully, lifting the flute to her lips "But NO-ONE has survived this next piece…9th verse: Makyo no Ran!"

Shikamaru's eyes widened as the tune changed, some inner instinct warning him that some new hell was about to begin even as he leapt up to avoid their combined strike to the branch he'd abandoned. His eyes widened as the mouths of all three puppets opened, spewing out a weird, cloudlike mass with multiple fanged mouths. Flipping in mid-air to avoid them he gaped as one of them latched onto his arm, only to pass, through, pulling out an astral copy of it, before biting a chunk off.

'Holy shit!' the Nara swore, landing on a branch and hurling three Kunai at the spectral monsters, only for them to pass through with little damage 'Just as I thought!' he uttered, leaping out of the way to reveal an explosive tag, which detonated seconds after the specters came across it.

'He noticed the danger the spirits presented with one encounter and chose to keep his distance.' Tayuya noted with a smirk, never pausing in her actions as she kept the melody going 'Smarter than I gave him credit for, but hiding down a rat hole won't save him.'

'That thing took a chunk of my physical energy with it,' Shikamaru noted, panting for breath as quietly as possible to avoid detection 'My guess it's nothing more than a mass of chakra formed purely from spiritual energy…and since those corpses lack the physical energy needed to balance them out, they leech it out of their targets with every chance they get.'

He eyed his trembling hand with a grimace 'Not good, take too many blows from that and I'll be unable to use my own chakra…have to avoid those spirits and target the main body.' He looked at Tayuya carefully 'Which means silencing that flute, but the problem's getting near her. The alternative is to nail those three with the Kagemane simultaneously…but if I miss even one it'll be game over.'

He smiled appreciatively at the redhead as she played away, keeping a wary eye out for him 'She leaves no openings in both her offense and defense, bet any money she's good at shogi.' Smirking, he took a self-inventory 'I'm down to 12 kunai, 9 shuriken, 12m of wire, one flash grenade and an explosive tag.' He shifted into his 'thinking' pose 'Damn, s'like I'm playing without a rook or bishop.'

After a few minutes of pondering, during which the chakra eaters came dangerously close to finding him, the Nara opened his eyes with a smirk, dangling the kunai from a wire, the, two attached to the tag and flash respectively.

'I have nine moves to make,' the Nara noted, hurling the explosive tag at Tayuya 'The deciding factor is the time between each move!'

Tayuya scoffed as she dodged the explosion, keeping her fingers moving as she kept an eye out for the rat as he scampered around in the foliage, sending the club and the mummy to find him. She didn't even flinch as another Kunai hurtled towards her face, the claw leaping in front and deflecting the tool airborne threat, even as the mummy was sent to attack the point of origin, cursing as she was forced to protect her self from another Kunai with the claw.

'A ploy to conceal his location?' she muttered, resisting the urge to gnash her teeth at his childish antics 'Quit messing around!'

The only response to her mental rebuke was four Kunai target at her from all sides. Once again, The claw deflected them before they got near, the weapons sticking into it's gauntleted arm. Just as she was about to send the beasts on a rampage however, the little rat dropped from cover, a smirk on his face. "Know what the best thing about shogi is?" he called out, even as the three stooges leapt at him at her behest, "Using the pawns you captured from the enemy against them."

Tayuya blinked, eyes widening as the flash bang fell in front of her, severed from it's perch by another kunai. 'What?! NO!' the redhead gaped, covering her eyes even as the little sphere detonated, 'He's using the light to increase the shadows!'

"Kagemane…successful." Shikamaru muttered, grinning at the annoyed kunoichi as her three servants turned to face her, mimicking his pose, like American football players before kickoff.

"Impossible!" the volatile redhead accused the teen, "How'd you predict their moves?! There's no way you figured out the pattern of my melody!"

"Your right, I couldn't." Shikamaru replied, blunt honesty in every line of his face "Too bad what I was paying attention to wasn't the melody…but the source."

Tayuya's eyes widened as the Nara smirked at her, chuckling appreciatively despite himself. "Pretty nimble fingers you have there." He applauded, the trio mimicking his movements, or rather club and claw did, whilst Mummy sort of convulsed.

'No way…' Tayuya stammered, raising the flute to her lips in defiance even as she shook in alarm 'He...read their movements through my fingers?!'

"Right index and ring finger," Shikamaru shot back, startling her "in conjunction with your left middle and pinkie fingers, create a tune that gets the middle guy moving." He smirked "As you were dodging my attacks and looking for me, I analyzed the movements of those nimble fingers of yours and tied them in with your cronies' movements, THAT'S how I was able to figure them out."

Tayuya snarled and blew on the flute, only for her minions to quiver in the grip of the kid's shadow. "It's useless," Shikamaru informed her "my Kagemane's collared your little pets." He stretched out an arm, all three mimicking him as he grabbed one of the kunai embedded in the claw's gauntlet "The balls in my court now…let's see how you like being chased around." He raised an eyebrow "What? Aren't you gonna arm yourself? Music alone won't tame these beasts."

"Aho," Tayuya replied with a confident smirk "This flute is the only weapon I need, NO-ONE has heard it and lived to tell the tale!"

"Suit yourself." Shikamaru muttered, leaping forward along with the stooges under his control, only for Tayuya to dispel them in mid lunge.

"Too bad!" the redhead taunted, laughter in her tone "You couldn't use your precious pawns!" she smirked as the kid slumped, readying herself for an attack, only to blanch as she once again found herself incapable of movement. 'No-way!'

"Kagemane…successful." Shikamaru muttered with a smirk, pointing at her with his kunai "I told you I'd corner you, those pawns were nothing more than decoys. The first move in shogi is to fake out the opponent, then swoop in for the kill. Simple really."

'Bastard!' Tayuya growled, gritting her teeth as she struggled in the hold of the jutsu, resigning herself to the inevitable 'I gotta take him down with force…fuck, wasn't expecting to use level 2 here.' She smirked despite herself, watching the horror on the brats face grow as her skin darkened to brown, her hair lengthening to trail down her sides even as horns ripped through her headband to perch atop her head 'I gotta hand it to him though…the bastard's pretty good.'

"You're smart…" she grit out, moving through the jutsu with her immense strength "But from here on out it's all down to brute force!"

'What the…hell?' Shikamaru gaped, unable to comprehend the transformation that happened right in front of him 'What the heck is she?!'

The demonic redhead moved, causing Shikamaru to stumble as she nearly broke through the Kagemane with brute force 'Gah! Her Chakra and strength are off the scale!' he grunted, bracing himself even as he grit his teeth 'Dammit, why the hell am I so turned on by all this?!'

Shaking himself, the Nara, flipped through the series of seals he'd held in reserve, praying he had enough chakra left as he pumped it into his shadow. "Kage Kubi Shibari no jutsu!" he called out, the shadowy hands forming from the depths at Tayuya's feet, slowly snaking their way up her legs… across her stomach...her chest…

'DAMMIT!' the Nara cursed, crouching down tighter as his less intelligent head stood to attention 'When I get back I'm SO strangling Oyaji!'

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Tayuya yelled, writhing as she tried to fight off the hands, her eyes wide and pupil-less again "What the hell is this you ACK!" she flushed scarlet as one of the hands groped her right breast, glaring at the Nara in a rage "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR TOUCHING YOU PERVERT!"

"It's not my fault!" Shikamaru snapped back, cursing his faltering control over the jutsu at long range "I'm aiming for your neck!"

"THE HELL YOU A-HEY!" Tayuya snapped, twitching as one of the hands groped her between the thighs "KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!"

"ACK!" Shikamaru yelped, blushing furiously in embarrassment, nearly breaking the jutsu, only to blink as Tayuya raised her flute to her lips "Oh SHI-!"

He hurled a Kunai at her, making a one handed seal to release any possible genjutsu, only to slump forwards, his arms held out to his sides.

"Tch, where the hell were you aiming?" Tayuya muttered, gasping as the hands released her and nearly staggering as she slumped against the trunk of the tree she was standing on. 'That was a little TOO close.' She muttered, shooting the paralyzed Nara a glare 'Perverted little rat…'

'I can't move…' Shikamaru noted 'Sound based Genjutsu…you'd think covering the ears would do it, but it affects the inner ear, not the outer.'

He looked around, flinching at what could only be a vision of hell, red sand and decomposing skeletons littered about, red clouds in the sky with wires descending from them, latched around his arms, wrists and legs, holding him like a prisoner about to be beheaded.

'Oh real original.' He muttered, unable to even tug at the wires for some reason 'You'd think she'd put more effort into this, being so damn artistic.'

He flinched suddenly, gaping in horror as his right arm began to, literally, melt off the bone, the searing, liquid pain of his flesh slipping off the bone searing through his brain as he let out a scream that echoed throughout the barren desert.

'Heh…music to my ears.' Tayuya smirked, continuing her musical torture as the Nara's screams echoed throughout the woods 'in level 2 I can perform various musical genjutsu with this flute…but after all the hell you put me through this one's perfect, binding the opponent and making them suffer untold pain.'

She blinked, catching sight of the Kunai he'd hurled as a last act of defiance, and smirking. "Tell me…" she asked the suspended form before her "How's it feel to be the one trussed up like a damn turkey?" she grabbed the kunai, leaping over to the twitching form of the chunin and smirked as she raised his own weapon over her head for the final blow. "See ya in hell, perverted ra-gck!"

She balked, almost dropping the kunai as the supposedly bound chunin spun to face her, punching her right between her stomach and lungs, driving the air out of her as she slumped against him.

'H-How…?' she managed to choke out, catching sight of the shadowy trail that had looped itself around the brat's arm 'He…used the shadow to break his own finger?! He broke the genjutsu with pain, he was playing possum!'

"KISAMA!" she snapped, moving to disembowel the pest, only to freeze as he spoke in her ear, a flush coming to her features as his breath tickled it.

"I told you…" Shikamaru reminded the girl, a shaky smirk on his face from the pain and sheer timing of his escape "First moves a fake-out, the second move you takes them out, basic strategy, remember?" he smirked as the shadowy hands crawled up her legs, undistracted by their progress by standing this close. "This move's a little different though, unlike Kagemane, my Kage Kubi Shibari has a stronger hold the closer I am to the target."

"Shit…" Tayuya managed to grit out, fighting down the embarrassed flush "I rushed in…careless."

"Not exactly," Shikamaru countered, "The only careless move you made was telling me that flute was your only weapon." He smirked as she twitched, "That's right…I threw the kunai there on purpose…just so you'd pick it up and come into my range to finish me off."

"Shit…" Tayuya muttered appreciatively "You might be a perverted little rat…but you got some balls pulling off a stunt like this."

"And a gentleman to boot." Shikamaru chuckled "Normally I wouldn't dream of striking a lady…but with a tongue like yours I don't think you qualify."

He aimed another strike at her stomach, only for her left hand to block, grabbing the fist in a tight grip. "So you blocked my genjutsu," the kunoichi growled, a smirk on her face, demonic yellow eyes glinting "Don't let it go to your damn head!"

'Dammit, I can't completely subdue her yet,' Shikamaru grit out, glaring at the hand and the shadows at his feet, 'But I can't lose here!' He focused, a vein forming on his forehead as the shadow hands inched ever so slowly to the woman's neck, finally curling around it, only for her Chakra to grow stronger.

'What the hell?!' Shikamaru gaped, noting the horns on the kunoichi's head growing larger 'Why does something tell me her getting hornier is a bad thing?' he muttered, cursing as the chakra she was giving off forced the hands away from her neck 'Dammit, Kage Kubi Shibari drains my chakra too much…but if I let her go now I'm dead!'

He grit his teeth, trying to simultaneously hold her in place whilst trying to force the hand near her throat back in position. 'No good, at this rate I'll run out before she even gets tired-!'

'C'mon man…this isn't like you.' Naruto's voice echoed mockingly in the nara's skull 'Who was it that keeps referring to women as troublesome?'

'Shut up!' Shikamaru muttered, trying to banish the voice and concentrate at the same time 'I've never encountered anything like this before!'

'That's your problem,' the voice mocked 'If something gets too 'troublesome' you just curl up and surrender, some chunin you are.'

'Then what would YOU suggest?' the chunin muttered, teeth clenched tight as he fought to maintain the jutsu 'I cant even get my hands around her neck!'

'So go with what you CAN reach.' The voice taunted, 'after all, you control IS better up close…'

Shikamaru's eyes widened as he caught the meaning of the words, resisting the urge to curse at the blonde or whatever the hell it was he'd heard before sighing. 'Ah well…dad always said I was failing at life…' he gathered the remnants of his chakra and frowned 'Lets see if that book of his was right…'

Tayuya smirked as she felt the brat's jutsu weakening, the hand trailing away from her throat as she pressed onward. 'Just a bit more…' she growled, grinning ferally 'A little more and he's mi-NGH!"

Her eyes widened, unable to comprehend what was going on when it happened again, turning her head to gape at the hand that was currently feeling up her butt. "THIS AGAIN!" She snapped, rounding on the teen, only to shudder as more hands wrapped around her, trailing over her limbs like silk as she squirmed "D-DAMMIT! FIGHT FAIR YOU BASTARD!"

"Oh? And you call whatever the hell you turned into fair?" the brat replied in her ear, causing her to blush, chuckling as she squirmed "What, don't tell me you're ticklish?"

"B-bastard-!" Tayuya grit out, shuddering as the hands continued their subtle ministrations "Don't t-think you'll g-get away with-!"

"Away with …what?" her tormentor asked, smirking as her back arched, one of the hands having gone mining where the sun didn't shine "Well, aren't you going to answer me?"

Tayuya tried to open her moth but the only thing that escaped was a gasp, releasing the Nara's hand even as it grabbed her own, trailing it down between her thighs. "S-STOP!" the redhead demanded, only to gasp as the hand poking at her rear twitched, arching her back as she felt her eyes roll upward "D-don't…please…" she gasped "Stop or I'll…I'll…"

"You'll…what?" the leaf chunin asked, pressing her own fingers against herself, causing her to gasp again "Do you really think you're in any position to be making threats?" he moved his hand, causing her finger to move with it "After all you put me though, do you really think I'd listen?"

Tayuya felt her neck tilt back, a moan in her throat as the brat nuzzled it, eyes rolling back even as her back arched one final time, her hoarse cry filling the air as she collapsed against the kid, spent and drained…utterly.

"Per…vert…" she gasped out, shuddering even as the cursed seal deactivated, gripping at his chunin vest with trembling fingers "I'll…kill you…"

Shikamaru stumbled as she fell against him, collapsing with a grunt as his legs gave out, falling on his rear with his back to the tree, out of breath, chakra, and ideas. 'Damn that was cutting it close.' He muttered, reminding himself to thank his Oyaji and his library later 'Who knew that and old book like 'How to take down a kunoichi' still had it's uses?

What the Nara scion didn't know, and what the patriarch prayed his wife never found out, was that the book the teen had used to take down the sound kunoichi was actually a carefully disguised copy of one of Jiraiya's earlier novels, disguised under several layers of genjutsu and a carefully replaced cover. But the less the poor boy knew about this the better, and the less Mrs. Nara knew about her husband's choice of private reading material the better.

After all, Shikaku was still an active shinobi, and couldn't risk being hospitalized because his wife had found the stash and decided to try for a girl again.

"Taku…" Shikamaru muttered, trying to peel the unconscious kunoichi off him with a grimace "Even out cold she's such a pain." He slumped against a tree and sighed "Ah well…guess I'll get some rest."

And so he fell asleep, unaware of the figure watching him from behind a cluster of leaves, face flushed and one hand clutched between her soaking thighs.

And a little something new for those dissenters who dislike me sticking to Cannon.

Happy now? hope so! I know I am!

kakashi: And they call me perverted.

HEADSHOT!

Kyugan: (Lowers Colt Python) Damn, forget the kickback...ah well CLEANUP!

(Random Zombie walks in with a mop + bucket, starts mopping with a groan)

Kyugan: And get me a new mug! I'm out!

R&R!