Tanith Panic, Zoe and Max couldn't really have had a happy ending unless Max was written out of the show and they probably didn't want to lose two popular characters at once. But if Zoe ever comes back, it could happen! I'm so glad you liked the Dyfty hug. I feel very affected when Lily shows emotion too - the fact she can't fight them back shows how powerful and deep her feelings are. Thank you for your review.
Bonnie Sveen Fan, Lily is usually very practical and efficient, so I thought it would be interesting to see her really struggling with Matilda's nappy - but not giving up. Dylan and Lofty did have a lovely friendship and I miss Lofty! We definitely all need a hug sometimes - even Lily. I think even for a doctor who works in an ED full of accident-prone colleagues, it never becomes easy to see them like that. Thank you for your review.
Guest, thank you for your review. I'm so glad you liked the Zax moments in the last chapter. I'm sorry for nearly making you cry. I'm afraid Zoe and Max aren't together in this chapter, but Zoe is very much in Max's thoughts - and vice-versa, I'm sure!
X-Sammii-X, thank you for your review. I agree with you that Ethan is describing his own perfect date. I think Cal and Alicia are a good couple because they're so alike, though whether it will progress beyond the fun stage is another matter! A hug from Dylan will always be special - he really likes Lofty, but he kept him at a slight distance before. I think letting someone in is a pretty big step for Dylan. Lily and the nappy could have been funny, but I'm really glad it wasn't.
InfinityAndOne, thank you for your review. I think Ethan really needs a bit of hope at the moment! He must feel completely helpless and as he was the one who was with Alicia at the accident, he might feel some level of responsibility too. I'm so glad you liked the hug - that was something I wanted to include right from the start, so I'm really happy it's been well-received! It is sad Lily had to ask for the hug, but I'm not sure I'd dare hug Louise without permission!
Thank you to Snowdrop2018 for the follow.
"I just want everyone to be okay," whispered Lily, as Louise held her.
"I know you do," said Louise gently. "Maybe you need a break, Lily. You've been brilliant, but we can manage for a bit. We've got an amazing team." She paused, then spoke in a small, slightly ashamed voice. "I actually forgot what an amazing nurse Rita is after everything that happened, but she's rone of the best."
"It is easy to notice the negatives and forget the positives," said Lily. "Rita was very unhappy and in some ways unwell. Her ex-husband had visited recently. Iain had treated her badly. When people are under that much strain, they can't think properly. They can't see what's in front of them. If you are not really seeing what is there, it is very difficult to behave appropriately. You're living minute-by-minute and it's hard to look into the future and see the potential consequences. I think that happened with Rita."
Louise was silent for a moment. "Did something happen to you too, Lily? When you b- I mean, when you weren't getting on with Alicia?"
"My father died," said Lily.
Louise stared at her, then tightened her arms around Lily. "I'm sorry, babe. I didn't know."
"All I wanted was for him to tell me he was proud of me," said Lily, as more tears fell. "It's the only thing he ever asked of me when I became a doctor – to make him proud. When I became a registrar, I thought he might tell me he was proud. But he did not. And then he died."
"Oh, Lily." Louise sounded emotional. "And Alicia has such a good relationship with her dad. I don't think she flaunted it, but we all knew."
Lily wiped her eyes. "He wrote me an email but never sent it. In it, he said he was proud of me. My mother found it in his drafts. I was sad he had never sent the email. Sad I didn't know until after he had died. But more than that… after I received the email, everything started to fall into place. But not just the present and the future. The past too. I saw what I had done to Alicia. And it was too late."
"No, it's not too late!" said Louise. " You can tell her you're sorry. You can tell her what you told me."
"Louise, she might die!" burst out Lily. "And even if she doesn't… she has told me we will never be friends. It is too late."
Ethan waited, but Alicia's hand was still.
It must have been my imagination.
Disappointed, he returned his mind to the date he'd planned for Cal and Alicia.
"When you arrive at the restaurant, the driver will stop the limousine outside the door so you won't have far to walk. Cal will help you out of the limo and give you his arm as you walk into the restaurant. Cal will help you off with your coat and gasp in admiration when he sees how beautiful you are. Everyone will stop eating and stare because they've never seen anyone as beautiful and radiant as you. Cal will probably think they're staring at him and you'll probably think the same because you're so modest, but you'll both be wrong. The waiter will lead you to your table and try to pull your chair out for you, but Cal will get there first. He'll take your hands in his and gaze into your eyes. I don't imagine you as being much of a drinker, but Cal will choose the most delicious champagne on the menu because it will be a celebration for him: to be taking the girl he loves out on a date at last."
He smiled as he imagined the moment. He could almost see Alicia sitting opposite him… no, opposite Cal.
"The waiter will pour the champagne and it will sparkle by the light of the chandeliers. You'll lift your glasses and clink them together and your fingers will brush and your eyes will meet and…"
He stopped. He hoped he wasn't getting too racy.
He looked at her again and saw not the ravishing lady of his dreams but the desperately unwell girl in the bed.
"Oh, Alicia," said Ethan, as his eyes filled with tears. "Please get better. If Cal had only one wish in the world, I'm sure that's what it would be."
Robyn just wanted to know he was okay.
She knew her colleagues were busy. There were other people – including Lofty – who needed them more than she did. It would be selfish to demand updates. The one thing she could be sure of was that everyone was doing their best.
But he was her best friend.
When Amira appeared with a little boy at her side, Robyn had the presence of mind to cover her eye, but she couldn't prevent the words from bursting out. "Is he okay?"
Amira looked faintly surprised, then said: "Kai had an asthma attack and he needs someone to sit with him. The cute nurse who doesn't talk much suggested you."
Robyn managed to smile at the little boy. "Hey, Kai. I'm Robyn."
He was a child and he seemed to be all alone. Robyn didn't know why he was here when the ED was closed, but he was here and he needed support.
All she could do was forget about Lofty and try to help someone who actually needed her.
Amira touched Kai's shoulder. "I need to go, sweetheart, but you'll be okay with Robyn. I'll come and check on you later."
"Thanks for helping me," said Kai, meeting her eyes for a moment. When she was gone, he asked Robyn fearfully: "What happened to your eye?"
Robyn smiled. "I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing and a bit of rubble or something flew into it. It does look pretty scary, but it's really not too bad."
"Rubble?" said Kai faintly. "From the crash?"
"Yeah: that stuff gets everywhere," said Robyn.
Kai's eyes were fixed on Robyn's face. "Can I see?"
"Yeah, okay. If you're sure," said Robyn. Slowly, she took her hand away.
Kai cried out as though in pain.
Robyn hastened to reassure him. "It's okay, sweetheart. It's really not as bad as it looks. That's often the way in hospitals. It's the patients who look normal who you really need to worry about. But it was totally my fault. Dr Keogh had told me to pay attention at least once, but did I listen?"
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" said Kai.
Robyn reached for his hand. "Hey, it's not your fault."
"Yes, it is," said Kai, his face hopeless. "All of it. It's all my fault."
"How can it be your fault?" asked Robyn gently.
Kai said nothing. He simply looked at her with that mixture of guilt and horror.
"You can tell me anything you need to," Robyn told Kai. "It's totally fine. Everyone tells me their secrets."
She left out the part where she always told them to everyone else. She had a feeling this secret would have to be the exception.
"Hey… it's Max, isn't it?"
Max turned to see the nurse he'd spoken to earlier. "Hey, um…"
"Amira," she said, smiling at him. "I heard you helped out with rescuing Dr Keogh's friend."
"I helped a bit," said Max. "Dr Hanna and Dr Keogh did most of it."
Amira touched his arm and held it a moment longer than she needed to. "I think I might have been a bit hasty before. If you wanted to meet for a drink later, I'm up for it."
"Um…" Max gave an awkward smile. "Look. I'm really flattered and everything and I'm not saying you're not gorgeous, but… well… I'm actually married. To Dr Hanna."
The smile froze on Amira's face for an instant. Then, slowly but surely, it twisted into a sneer. "I always knew you were an idiot."
"Yeah," said Max. "I am. But it's time to stop being an idiot. It's time to fight for my marriage. And my wife."
Rita could see the pain on Iain's face. She held his hand tightly. "Tell me, Iain. There's no hurry – take as much time as you need – but you can tell me anything."
Iain looked up at her and some of the pain was replaced by confusion. "I forget where I am."
"Don't worry about that," said Rita. "You've had a really challenging day and experienced a lot of flashbacks, as well as former colleagues appearing out of nowhere. It's natural to be confused."
Iain nodded as though he agreed with that, but then he frowned. "What was I going to tell you?"
Rita's heart trembled, but her voice was calm. "You were going to tell me about why you think you're a bad soldier."
She wished she hadn't said it when the pain returned to Iain's face. His whole body tensed as he flinched away from her words.
"It's okay," said Rita quickly. "You don't have to tell me."
"No, I do," said Iain. "I left my men. I deserted them."
Rita could hear the shame and guilt in his voice. She stroked his hand. "Can you remember why you left them?"
"I thought I heard something," said Iain. "I had a feeling something was wrong. It felt as though I'd been given an order and I had to go, but there was no order. I was the one in charge. We'd lost our commanding officer.: I was the highest-ranked soldier left."
"When you're in charge, you have to make decisions," said Rita. "You can't always get it right."
"I shouldn't have gone," said Iain. "Some of my men told me not to go and they were right. A part of me knew they were right, but I was angry with them for questioning me. I told them to wait there. So they waited."
Rita waited for him to continue, but he didn't. "Did you find anything?"
Iain shook his head. "There was nothing there, Rita. Nothing. It was like being in a different world. I could feel the cold air on my cheeks, but I heard nothing at all. Everything was silent and still. I turned this way and that, trying to decide."
"And then?" whispered Rita.
"And then I heard the sounds of gunfire," said Iain. "I ran back to them, Rita. I ran as quickly as I could. I was ready to protect them; defend them. Even die for them. But I was too late, Rita." He wasn't looking at Rita anymore. He seemed to be looking at somewhere far in the distance. "Too late. They'd all died because they were waiting for me."