Alice felt as if all her nerve ends were alive and tingling with awareness.
Alive.
Her heart was racing, her skin was clammy, and she was crossly trying her best to keep her breathing even.
Every jolt of the horse as it clambered over the rugged terrain brought her closer to the maddening man sitting behind her, his arms tightening ever so slightly to keep her steady.
Alice.
A few strands of hair had escaped from her bun and danced across his nose and cheekbones. Lilies. She smelled like lilies. It was how he remembered her.
He could feel her delicate, lithe curves through her lightweight cotton gown. She felt exactly how he remembered her.
That night under the falls, where they had laid bare against each other...where Uncas foolishly thought nothing mattered in the world except having Alice in his arms.
Here she was again in his arms... he silently inhaled her elusive, floral scent. Heaven...
Eight years ago
"I never believed what my nanny said until today." Alice voiced as she lay draped over Uncas, her body deliciously sated.
"What did she say?" he responded lazily, caressing her shoulder.
"I asked her what heaven was like. Were there castles made of jewels and streets made of gold?"
Uncas chuckled, " I don't think I recall Reverend Wheelock describing heaven like that."
Alice nodded, her head bumping his chin. Uncas swept aside her hair and nibbled her neck, "So what did your nanny say?"
Alice sighed in contentment, cuddling closer to his chest. " She said heaven is where your heart is."
She rubbed her cheek against his heart, "My heart is here, with yours."
She raised her head to gaze into his eyes with sombre revelation, "You are my heaven."
Present
Uncas felt a stab of pain course through his heart at the memory. This was the first time in eight years he had allowed himself to replay that exquisite moment.
"You are my heaven."
And he had plunged her into hell after.
His arms bracketed her waist as he griped the reins. He knew she was nervous and affected by their proximity. So was he.
Removing one of his hands from the reins, he picked one of her hands and folded her fingers around the reins. Alice stiffened but did not protest.
His fingers brushed the pads of her fingers lightly and he commented nonchalantly, "Less calluses."
Alice shrugged dismissively, "I stopped playing the harp."
Uncas was surprised. He had seen her play the harp twice and both times, she had been revelling in the experience.
"Why?"
"Playing lost meaning for me," Alice returned curtly.
Uncas was puzzled by her reply but he did not question her further.
Instead he replied casually, "We'll stop for a rest soon."
Playing the harp.
Alice studied the pads of her fingers. There were still calluses but they were much softer and smaller as compared to the years where she obsessed over mastering the instrument. She had been good - very good in fact. Her teacher had been confident she could even perform as a professional harpist. Alice had not touched the harp in almost eight years. Strangely enough, she did not miss it.
Water lapped gently near her feet. The group had stopped for a rest and Alice had immediately headed to the stream to refresh herself. Mikayla had fallen asleep on the horse and continued to doze even after Cora had carried her to the ground. Alice scooped up a handful of water and let it trickle slowly through her fingers. She had developed a phobia of swimming after her brother Callum had drowned in front of her. It was Bryan who had patiently coaxed her to swim again, spending a few summers waddling in the lake with her, holding her hand.
"Do not fret, Alice. I will be here to catch you if you fall."
And Bryan had. Even when she returned to England, pregnant and helpless, he had embraced her unconditionally, vowing to look after both she and her unborn child. He kept his word, never once mistreating Ichante from the day he was born at the country manor. The earl made time to spend time with the baby and it had been his idea to name him "Callum." Byran had smiled at Alice wistfully, " I always knew that if I had a son, I would name him 'Callum'." So Alice had agreed.
Byran had filed Ichante's birth certificate himself. Ichante was officially known as "Callum Jacob Bryan Nicholson" in England, firstborn of the Earl and Countess of Craven. That firstborn title had became void when Alice sent him back to America to his birth father. It had broke her heart to do so but she wanted desperately to do something for Bryan - it was the only thing she could do for the man who had stood by her through thick and thin since she had been a child. Alice missed Bryan's wide, engaging smile that never failed to comfort and reassure her.
"Tired?"
Uncas' low, melancholic voice sliced though her rambling thoughts.
Alice whipped around and stared at the man who changed her whole life and some. If they had not slept together that night under the falls... but Alice shamefully admitted that she would have done the deed later at the Delaware camp even if she had not under the falls. She had been so in love with the strapping Mohican warrior - or so she thought then. Uncas had not slept with her again after that night.
"I am fine." Alice answered, swirling her fingers in the water.
Uncas passed her a canteen of water and she took it gratefully. Sipping slowly, she mused, "Does he really recall nothing of me?"
Uncas knew she was referring to Ichante.
He dropped down next to her, "He was a baby."
"I know. But sometimes I wished he remembered something...anything that proved I was his mother for awhile."
Uncas caught her chin abruptly and angled her face towards his, "You are his mother."
Alice gazed into his deep brown eyes, feeling something stir inside her.
What was it about this man that made her throw caution to the wind each and every time she encountered him? Eight years ago, she had been willing to give up everything to stay with him in the wilderness. Eight years on, his touch still unravelled her from within.
Alice averted her gaze, "No mother would abandon her child the way I did."
There was silence before Uncas uttered clearly, " You didn't abandon him. You returned him to his father."
"My husband was furious when he found out I sent Ichante back to you."
Uncas shot her a startled glance, "He didn't know?"
"Bryan raised Ichante as his own till the day I sent him off with Cora. But I had to - for Bryan's sake."
Seven years ago
Alice entered the cool interiors of the country manor with a relieved sigh, Callum cradled in her arms. The summer was scorching and dry, though Alice suspected that the evening heralded a storm.
She kissed Callum's forehead affectionately, "Papa should be back from London. Should we go and say hello?" Her son blinked his almond-shaped eyes at her, the barest of smiles flitting across his tiny face. His satiny sable hair was matted with sweat and clung to his scalp. Alice knew she should cut his hair because of the heat but she could not bear to - she wanted to grow out his hair...just like how Uncas grew his. Guilt kicked in Alice's gut and she somewhat felt she was being disloyal to Bryan whenever she thought of the brooding Mohican warrior. How was he? she wondered. Had he married a fellow Indian woman?
Approaching the sitting room, she stopped short when she heard a familiar voice of which the owner she disliked immensely - the Dowager Countess of Craven, Bryan's step-grandmother. Bryan's own grandmother had died when Bryan's father was a teenager, and his grandfather had remarried a few years later. The Dowager Duchess had no children and hated Bryan's father, preferring the weakling second brother and his family. Her personal desire was for Bryan's cousin to inherit the title so that she could manipulate him for her own gain. The door to the sitting room was ajar and Alice peeked through the gap, wondering whether it was a good time to join them.
"Get rid of that bastard child of yours," the Dowager Duchess stated imperiously, "You cannot hide him in the country forever. I will not have the Craven legacy and reputation tainted and destroyed by him." Alice froze, slapping a hand over her mouth to muffle her gasp of horror. "He is my child, no matter what others perceive." Bryan refuted coldly. "I will not stand to see a person unrelated by blood to inherit the title," the elder lady spat in disgust. "Who then shall inherit the earldom? John, my dear cousin?" Bryan returned snidely.
"Disown the child or give him to the gardener to raise as his own. If you do not..." the Dowager Duchess trailed off menacingly. Give Callum to the gardener? Alice nearly dropped Callum in shock at the elder lady's cruelty. Bryan arched an eyebrow, "What would you do, Your Grace?" "I will spread word to the ton and announce to the papers that you are deceiving everyone with your claim that this dark-skinned child is your rightful heir. And that tramp of a wife - " She resumed spitefully. "Do not dare to speak ill of my wife." Bryan cut her off chillingly, his blue eyes narrowed. Alice clutched Callum to her chest weakly. Bryan. What had she done to him?
"Do as you please, Your Grace. You are aware that your extravagant living is at the mercy of my generosity, which I can choose to rescind at any moment," Bryan answered in an unflappable tone. The Dowager Duchess jabbed a finger at her step-grandson, "I do not know what my dear departed husband saw in you when he insisted you inherit the title when your father died. Your father was a failure and you are every bit like him!" "Perhaps Grandfather saw that I had a spine?" Bryan quipped cynically, eyeing the grey-haired woman in front of him with undisguised contempt. "And I am the rightful heir to the earldom. Callum would be too when I leave this world," Bryan continued in a tone of determined finality.
The Dowager Duchess screeched in fury, "You disrespectful knave! I am going to ruin you even if I have to be thrown out onto the streets! I will smear your name and that of your trollop of a wife so that both of you would never be able to raise your heads in public again! I will tear you apart..." She went on hurling insults and threats to the earl, who barely flinched throughout her tirade. Tears ran down Alice's face as she gazed helplessly at her husband. What shall I do, Bryan? It is all my fault...
Present
"For his sake?" Uncas queried with a frown.
Alice quickly faced the stream. She was not ready to share the secrets of her past with him yet. One day she would...one day.
She decided to pick a safer topic, "Bryan adored Ichante though he did not show it much. That was just the way he was."
Uncas inclined his head in acknowledgment.
"He did not forget Ichante, even at his dying bed." Alice sighed heavily, her fingers knotting together. "In his will, he bequeathed the country manor to Ichante. In his words, 'This is the only place in England the child is familiar with. If he were to return one day, I want him to have a home.' " she related with a sad smile. Alice had sobbed uncontrollably after Bryan had spoken those words.
Uncas was stunned and deeply touched at the generosity and magnanimity of the earl. He was doubtful that even he could be as benevolent if he had been in the earl's place. "He was a great man. He deserves to be remembered. You should tell Ichante this," Uncas stated explicitly.
Alice's shoulders hunched over despondently, "He does not even remember me. Why would he remember Bryan?"
Uncas uttered comfortingly, "Somewhere deep inside him, he remembers. Give him time."
He got to his feet and dusted his hands briskly, "Let's go back to the rest. Gotta eat something."
Uncas turned back towards the forest.
"I remember." Alice's hushed whisper floated to his ears.
"I remember everything that happened here eight years ago." she went on stiltedly.
Uncas steeled himself against the unexpected gentleness in her tone and kept walking, keeping his pace slow and unhurried.
They re-joined the group a few minutes later. Cora was busy feeding the children bread and water, who ate heartily.
"Do you feel all better now, Alice?" Cora called out cheerfully as she fanned herself with her hat.
Alice nodded, settling herself between the two children: one fair, one dark. Both spitting images of their respective sires. She patted both their heads and they looked up in unison, both munching bread. Alice could not help but smile fondly at them. If she had done anything right in her life, it would be bringing these two little human beings into the world.
Cora gestured for Alice to sit next to her while stealing covert glances at her brother-in-law. Satisfied Uncas was distracted with scanning their surroundings for danger, Cora nudged Alice playfully, "Where are you going to stay? My cabin or his?" Alice threw Cora an irritated glare, "With you, of course." "You can get to know Ichante better if you stayed with them," Cora said as she chewed on a carrot stick. "You live ten minutes from them. I can see him often enough." Alice muttered, grabbing a chunk of bread. Cora shrugged, unconvinced, "We'll see."
The group trekked through the afternoon and into dusk, only stopping to have a light supper. They continued their journey, with Uncas leading and navigating the pitch-black forest and craggy terrain effortlessly. Ichante also had no problems seeing in the dark, pointing out wild animals scurrying around along the way. Father and son swopped positions midway, with Uncas taking up the rear.
"How can you see ahead?" Alice wondered aloud. Alice could barely see her hand when she waved it in front of her face. Uncas did not answer but Alice felt him smile against her ear. Her back was plastered to his front, his arms braced around her solidly. One hand was twined around the reins, the other rested on the blanket near her thigh. It was almost midnight and a biting breeze wafted through the trees. But Alice did not feel cold.
She lay her hand impulsively on his arm which extended to the reins, "Warm. Always so warm."
She heard Uncas' sharp intake of breath and her own breath caught in her throat when his hand slid from the reins onto the side of her waist. His other hand glided backwards from the blanket until it too grasped the other side of her waist. He shifted closer until his thighs hugged hers. The horse continued to gallop forward.
Alice kept her eyes forward, not daring to look sideways or back at him. Tension crackled between them in the eerie silence of the night. Alice did not how far behind the were from the rest and that moment, she did not care. Neither of them moved even as the beast pounded under them powerfully. Finally, Uncas moved. He angled his face towards hers, his nose brushing her temple. Alice shivered involuntarily. Her senses hummed in nervous anticipation.
"You must be fearless," Uncas murmured into Alice's ear just before he roughly captured her lips in a searing kiss.
Fearless.