Bonnie Sveen Fan, I'm sorry if the ending of the Ethan and Alicia was confusing. They are still in the hospital, but they've decided to support each other and I could imagine Ethan awkwardly coming out with something that made it sound like he was at a support group! It is devastating for Cal - he's already had to go through something similar with both his mums and his brother. It won't get easier, but he's getting better at dealing with it. Thank you for your review.

X-Sammii-X, thank you for your review. I'm sorry Cal and Matilda's scene upset you so much. He needed to find out and it couldn't be a happy scene. Zax and Riain were both great couples - I'm still not used to seeing Max and Iain without their girls! I think there's a good chance at least one of them will have a happy ending. I think Ethan and Alicia are the worst couple ever, but I can't control what happens. Not even in my own stories sometimes.

totti10, I'm so glad you liked Iain's words to Rita. I was a bit worried it was too short, but I couldn't imagine Iain doing a big, passionate speech! I think he'd rather show his feelings than talk about them as a rule. I really liked what you said about hoping Rita can see she deserves to be loved. I think that's something she really struggles to believe. Mark must have made her feel worthless and Iain (while not in Mark's league) always kept her guessing. Thank you for your review.

Tanith Panic, thank you for your review and the 10! It is never a good idea to relax about any character in any kind of hospital story and I should probably kill someone. As I've decided to give Alicia her old personality back (she was so much nicer then and much more Ethan's type), Lofty is the obvious candidate. Matilda won't die in this story because I can't let a baby die, but her story will end sadly if she doesn't go back to Cal. I'm glad you liked Ethan standing up for Lily.

InfinityAndOne, I think Iain has realised he and Rita are more alike than he thought they were, but even so, he would need to have a lot of trust. Ethan is very lovely and I've often wished he wasn't fictional! I'm not sure Alicia would have confessed if she hadn't heard Ethan's confession first and even then, she might have held back if she'd been feeling stronger. Thank you for your review.

20BlueRoses, I think the new Alicia is a good character, much as I dislike her, but it would have made more sense to write a new character rather than give an existing character a complete personality transplant. At least this way there's a chance of the old one coming back! The old Alicia is so much nicer. She was better-suited to Ethan too and would have hated to cause friction between the brothers. I'm glad you like the couple reunions! Thank you for your review.

All Zoe wanted was to throw herself into Max's arms. To kiss him and tell him she loved him too and she wouldn't go back to America. She'd stay here in Holby and live with her husband at last.

They'd been married for a year now, she realised, and they'd never lived together as husband and wife.

It was time to put that right.

But she couldn't.

"Max, I can't," she said, turning away to hide the tears in her eyes.

There was a shocked silence. Then Max spoke in a choking voice. "Why not?"

"Because… because I've got a new life now," said Zoe sadly. "I can't just abandon it and come back here."

Max caught her arms and turned her to face him. "Then I'll come to America with you, Zoe. It's not a problem. I don't mind where we live. As long as I'm with you, then-" He broke off suddenly. A terrible suspicion filled his face. "Is there someone else, Zoe? Someone in America?"

"Max-"

He let go of her and backed away. "I thought you cared about me, Zoe. I thought that – what happened downstairs – I thought it meant something to you."

"Max, it did. I'm not saying-"

"Then what did it mean?" said Max furiously. "You wanted a last quickie before you died and I was the only guy available?"

Zoe moved towards him, her hands outstretched. "Please, Max. Listen to me."

"Maybe I've already spent far too much of my life listening to you!" spat Max.

Zoe reached for his hand, but he pushed her roughly away and ran off down the corridor. She started to follow him, but then she heard a sound.

Connie's monitor.

Ethan shook his head. "I think you remember better than you think, Alicia. You can't hide who you really are. I saw it when we were working together; I saw it when you cared about Grace; I can see it now. It might be difficult at first, but I know you're still in there and I know you can become fully yourself again."

Alicia looked unsure that was what she wanted. Ethan could understand that. If Alicia really was happier now and felt safer…

"I know you can become yourself again too," offered Alicia.

She was changing the subject, but Ethan decided to let her for now. Perhaps Alicia didn't have the courage to be herself alone – but she wasn't alone. She had Ethan.

And Cal, of course.

"I hope I can be myself again," said Ethan. "It won't be easy, facing everything, but I miss myself and if I don't become myself again, I'm going to have so many regrets."

"Then you should do it," said Alicia.

Ethan smiled. "Then I will. And the first thing I'm going to do is burn those jeans. Or perhaps not burn them: that might not be very environmentally friendly. But I'll get rid of them, certainly. Then I need to cancel my salsa classes; go back to mostly soft drinks and make certain that this time, I pass my FCEM and become a consultant as I've always wanted. But I'm keeping the hat."

Alicia stared at him, sympathy in her eyes. "I still can't imagine you doing salsa."

Ethan nodded, shamefaced. "I do actually like salsa. It is quite fun and because of my classes, I'm not such a terrible dancer as I used to be, which is always a help in social situations. And I need all the help in social situations I can get! But there are so many things I'd rather do; so many things I need to do before the disease takes hold. But I haven't tried to do any of them. I don't know what I was thinking."

"I did all kinds of things I wouldn't normally do too," said Alicia. "Anything to prove I wasn't that person anymore: the person who could be bullied out of her dream job. I got rid of almost everything I owned that was pink. I drank way too much. I…" Shame crept into her voice. "I slept around. With anyone and everyone."

"I got drunk too," offered Ethan. "Very drunk. And I can't remember quite a lot of what I did, so it's entirely possible I slept around too."

Alicia laughed then winced as the movement hurt her. "I'm sure you didn't."

"You need to rest," said Ethan. A wave of sadness washed over him. "Cal will be coming to see you later and he'll be angry with me if he sees I've tired you out."

Panic came to Alicia's face. "Ethan, please don't leave me."

"Of course I won't leave you."

"Robyn, have you got a minute?"

Robyn quickly covered her eye and looked over at Noel. He had two people with him: a man and a woman. With a sinking feeling, Robyn guessed who they must be. Kai's parents.

She stalled for a moment, unsure if she was angrier with Kai or with herself. Whatever her personal feelings of what Kai had done, she shouldn't have shouted at a patient. Particularly not a child.

She looked around, but nobody was there. Lily and Louise hadn't returned. Neither had Cal.

She turned back to Noel. "I'm actually a patient at the moment, Noel, but I'll help as much as I can."

Noel smiled at her gratefully and came over. "Robyn, this is Mr and Mrs Swift. Their son Kai had an asthma attack and was treated by a Nurse Zafar. I don't suppose you know where he is?"

"He's in Resus at the moment," said Robyn unthinkingly, and saw horror fill both the faces of Kai's parents. "Oh, no, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that. Physically, he's fine, but as you probably noticed, we did have a bit of excitement with a helicopter crash, so he's quite upset. He has a strong bond with Nurse Zafar, so one of the doctors took him to see her in Resus."

"Thank you for the reassurance, Nurse," said Mrs Swift. "Would it be possible to see him now?"

Robyn smiled at Noel. "Would you mind taking Mr and Mrs Swift along to Resus, Noel? I can do it if you prefer, but I'm not really supposed to get out of bed."

"Sure. No problem," said Noel at once. "Thanks for your help, Robyn. Hope you're okay."

Rita looked trapped. She looked around her as though she thought an escape route might be there, but there was none. Lofty's conversation with Dylan was clearly intense, but Lofty seemed physically fine. David and Amira were talking quietly to Kai. From the little Iain had overheard, it sounded like a difficult conversation awaited them, but that wasn't Iain's concern. Cal hadn't returned from his quest to find the errant Lily and Louise – which could be another concern, but again, it wasn't Iain's.

All that mattered to Iain was what the beautiful, sweet, kind, loving, supportive woman in front of him was going to say.

"Rita?" said Iain, not wanting to push for an answer, but her name had crept out unbidden. It was a name he wanted to say often; a name he'd missed saying.

"I don't know, Iain," said Rita at last.

It hurt. It actually felt almost as though she'd shot him, and Iain knew just how that felt. The moment's impact. The shock. And then the pain, as though something had burrowed deep into his chest, causing havoc with his skin, muscles, blood vessels and everything else that got in its way before finally lodging itself in his heart.

He knew 'I don't know' wasn't the same as 'no'. He knew her indecision meant she could go either way; that even if she did say 'no' now, that 'yes' could come in the future.

But the fact remained he'd hurt her and he couldn't claim to have been under any kind of mental strain at the time. He didn't have any exes who'd committed horrendous crimes. He hadn't been forced to help the young victim of it – which couldn't have been easy: Iain doubted the girl could have been glad to see Rita, the woman she probably blamed for the imprisonment of the man she was desperate to believe she loved.

Iain had deliberately and cruelly hurt someone who was already suffering. Why on earth would she take him back when he'd done that to her? Why would anyone?

"Do you think we should take Kai to cubicles?" Amira asked David, thinking how handsome the quiet nurse was. It was actually an extraordinarily good-looking hospital (even that bossy nurse Charlie was all right for an old guy) though Iain clearly only had eyes for Rita and Cal loved himself much more than Amira ever could. Lofty (whatever kind of name that was) seemed like a nice man, though Amira wanted to make sure he wasn't gay before she considered making any kind of move on him. He was certainly very fond of Dr Keogh, but perhaps that was just a bromance.

Max had turned out to be a nice guy, but he was married, so Amira wasn't going to go there.

David glanced over at Dylan and Lofty, then he nodded. "We should find a cubicle away from the others. Kai will need peace and quiet."

Amira knew immediately that David was thinking of keeping Kai away from Robyn. David hadn't been told what Kai had done and he'd been told very little about Robyn's reaction, but Amira wouldn't have been at all surprised if he'd guessed. David was the kind of person who could look at you and see everything.

Though not in a mentally-undressing sort of way.

Amira heard voices and automatically looked towards the doors. The only person she recognised was that annoying guy who worked on reception: the one that equally irritating nurse Louise liked so much.

Then she heard a soft gasp from Kai and felt him shrinking behind her. "It's my parents."

"We'll help you explain if you need us to," said Amira. She wished she could say more; she wished she could rescue Kai from this situation, but she knew there was nothing she could do. Kai had to stay and face it, but he wouldn't be there alone and Amira would make sure her parents know what complete idiots they'd been if it was the last thing she did (and if she wasn't careful, it really might be the last thing she did in this hospital).

David seemed to know what she was thinking. He put his arm around Kai and spoke quietly but firmly. "We'll be here, Kai."

"You don't know what I've done," whispered Kai.

"Was it your drone?" asked David. His words were direct, but his voice was gentle.

Kai paled, then nodded.

David didn't let go of Kai. "As I said. We're here. We'll help you."