p class="MsoNormal"strongspan lang="EN-GB"A/N: Hello again! :D/span/strong/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Tell me!"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Why should I?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""You can't just- You can't just leave it without giving me a damn reason!/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Why?!" Edward shouted, trying frantically to hide his damn insecurities and fear behind anger. Roy couldn't be emserious/em. He emcouldn't/em mean this./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Why the hell not?!" Roy nearly screamed back, quickly making Ed go quiet. He wouldn't have gotten in a word even if he'd wanted to because the other male immediately started ranting after his exclaim. "I'm going to be the fucking Fuhrer soon, I've always been able to get whatever woman I wanted without problems, so tell my why in the world I should care enough to stick with you and all your-" here Roy took a pause as if collecting himself, taking a deep breath before raising his voice. He didn't even give Ed any chance to build up a defensive wall before every word tore through his exterior like unforgiving bullets. "For not wanting to deal with your fucking temper and stupidity and damn selfishness anymore! -A fucking double crippled boy with no friends, not a single family member who cares enough to see you- not that you can emblame/em Alphonse for running of to Rizembool as soon as he'd finally gotten back the life you'd deprived him of for years, right?! Huh?!" Roy finally stared back at him, onyx eyes hard and fists clenched. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""That's not true," Ed managed to squeeze back from the constriction of his chest. It felt like the room had slowly started spinning as he looked into charcoal eyes, cold as stone despite warmth they'd always seemed to transpire. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Well then where the hell is he then? Just face it, he doesn't want to deal with you and neither do I, no one has the fucking energy or need of you anymore so get the hell out of here!"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""emStop it/em Roy, why are you doing this?" Ed tried to demand amongst the verbal abuse, but it came as a plea with a broken voice. Could Al really have said these things to Roy? Could it be the cold truth that he'd just used Ed to get his body and then get away? No, he wouldn´t, and Roy wouldn´t do this to him. Roy wouldn't use him either, not for… sex? A toy?/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"This was another one of the man's strongdamn mind games/strong but Ed couldn't for the life of him figure out what either of them possibly had to win from this./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"…But could Roy be serious? Did he really want them to be emover/em?/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"It didn't feel like Roy was trying to push him away anymore, it felt like he was trying to crush him from the inside, break apart everything he'd finally built up after years of shutting himself in and self-loathing. And he just threw it out that Al couldn't stand his brother, as another triumph card of his. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"Only when sobs escaped his tightly sealed lips did Ed realize he was openly crying, but for the first time he didn't give a darn about that. His knees involuntarily caved in on him, sitting on the floor he didn't even try to get up. "Tell me what's really going on. Please."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""´Going on' is that I'm finally so emtired/em of you. Tired of your fucking temper, your fucking mess ups that seem to kill everyone in your way and your empty shell of feelings. It's just not worth the sex anymore so why aren't you leaving? Aren't you listening? I. Don´t. Want. You. Your father didn't, Alphonse doesn't and I don't, so emleave/em!"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"The sobs were growing more frantic as Ed gasped for air feeling the pain both mentally and psychically as every word hurt him no matter how much he tried to shut it out. "emStop it." /emWhy, why was Roy doing this? Had he done something wrong? But they'd been fine just last morning, why would the man suddenly give up on them? Why did he try to push Ed away when things were so great? Or had he just imagined that? What if he really was only… only a sex toy, something to fool around with even though he'd always thought it was something way deeper. He had to- He had to ask. Had to know./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Did it ever mean anything to you?" He must have imagined Roy's small wince because his face remained stone cold. "Did… Did I? …Or was I just another one to you?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"The walls were caving in on him. His resolve that this wasn't for real was breaking, the hope that Roy wasn't for real slowly diminishing to nothing. Maybe it wasn't even an abrupt idea or forced on opinion. Maybe it had been faked all along. But it couldn't have…/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"The uncertainties were quickly crashing down, breaking him under the weight. Maybe this really wasn't a cruel trick or unacceptable prank. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Well considering I've been with plenty of women on the side-lines these two years, of course you'd be something special, right?" Roy spat out sarcastically./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" "…You said you loved me, again just yesterday," Ed whispered out, all of his hurt shining through. "Was that a lie? All of it?"br / !- [if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-br / !-[endif]-/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"He didn't have the will to fight anymore. It didn't matter what he wanted, it never had because it was a two ways street and he always ended up alone. Of course Roy would leave as well. Throw it all away because that was just what life seemed to do to every single thing that meant anything to Ed. Roy was his world. But it didn't matter, because obviously he'd never been more than a way to pass time, a pawn or sex-toy or anything, because it didn't matter anymore. He was emnothing/em to the other now, no matter how hard it was to accept./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Leave." The man's voice was so cold, so uncaring and he wasn't even spared a glance as once more a back was turned on him. Roy had given up on them. If there even existed a 'them' before. So the blonde finally did too. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"***/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"As soon as Roy was sure he'd heard the door slam closed he ran aside the counter and threw up in the sink. That was by far the hardest thing he'd ever had to do and it made his chest ache and stomach rumble. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"He felt so disgusted by his own words, by his actions. He had a hard time believing he'd said all that. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"But he had emhad/em to. There was no going around that. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"But maybe he was to hard… He'd seriously considered pulling Edwards deceased emmother /eminto it. If the teen would have stayed for much longer, maybe Roy would have done that. He knew that would have been far over the line of acceptable even though every word was for the teen's sake only. Ed could be just as stubborn as he was himself, and Roy knew that he had to take to the extreme to make him leave. Honestly he didn't even remember all that was said, he kind of went into auto drive as he found it was impossible to form the words otherwise. The only thing he knew would be imprinted in his mind forever was the look of hurt that crossed over his love's features, the denial and shock and sadness and disbelief, everything that he over the course of emtwo years/em had learned to read from golden orbs. He shouldn't have let it go on so long, shouldn't have led Ed on or made it so hard for himself. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"But Ed was strong. By far the strongest person Roy knew and he would get pass that. The blonde had taken his share of sneers, comments and mental hits before. He would get over it soon and move on. That was what Roy wished for the most; for Ed to get pass this quickly and start a new life. Maybe take a few years peacefully out with Alphonse and the Rockbells. Get a normal job and a family and a future. br / !- [if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-br / !-[endif]-/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"A future Roy wouldn't be a part of./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"You see, that was also his biggest fear. That Ed did move on, and that was it for them. Roy would continue to feel empty as he slept around with every woman he found, growing old alone, never again to hear from his beloved blonde. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"emspan lang="EN-GB"It was for the best, for the best/span/emspan lang="EN-GB". /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"Only when he was about to wipe possibly remaining vomit from his mouth did Roy notice the tears that were leaking down his cheeks. He needed some alcohol if he were to get through the night. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"strongspan lang="EN-GB"-Hugs MJ/span/strong/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Tell me!"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Why should I?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""You can't just- You can't just leave it without giving me a damn reason!/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Why?!" Edward shouted, trying frantically to hide his damn insecurities and fear behind anger. Roy couldn't be emserious/em. He emcouldn't/em mean this./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Why the hell not?!" Roy nearly screamed back, quickly making Ed go quiet. He wouldn't have gotten in a word even if he'd wanted to because the other male immediately started ranting after his exclaim. "I'm going to be the fucking Fuhrer soon, I've always been able to get whatever woman I wanted without problems, so tell my why in the world I should care enough to stick with you and all your-" here Roy took a pause as if collecting himself, taking a deep breath before raising his voice. He didn't even give Ed any chance to build up a defensive wall before every word tore through his exterior like unforgiving bullets. "For not wanting to deal with your fucking temper and stupidity and damn selfishness anymore! -A fucking double crippled boy with no friends, not a single family member who cares enough to see you- not that you can emblame/em Alphonse for running of to Rizembool as soon as he'd finally gotten back the life you'd deprived him of for years, right?! Huh?!" Roy finally stared back at him, onyx eyes hard and fists clenched. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""That's not true," Ed managed to squeeze back from the constriction of his chest. It felt like the room had slowly started spinning as he looked into charcoal eyes, cold as stone despite warmth they'd always seemed to transpire. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Well then where the hell is he then? Just face it, he doesn't want to deal with you and neither do I, no one has the fucking energy or need of you anymore so get the hell out of here!"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""emStop it/em Roy, why are you doing this?" Ed tried to demand amongst the verbal abuse, but it came as a plea with a broken voice. Could Al really have said these things to Roy? Could it be the cold truth that he'd just used Ed to get his body and then get away? No, he wouldn´t, and Roy wouldn´t do this to him. Roy wouldn't use him either, not for… sex? A toy?/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"This was another one of the man's strongdamn mind games/strong but Ed couldn't for the life of him figure out what either of them possibly had to win from this./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"…But could Roy be serious? Did he really want them to be emover/em?/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"It didn't feel like Roy was trying to push him away anymore, it felt like he was trying to crush him from the inside, break apart everything he'd finally built up after years of shutting himself in and self-loathing. And he just threw it out that Al couldn't stand his brother, as another triumph card of his. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"Only when sobs escaped his tightly sealed lips did Ed realize he was openly crying, but for the first time he didn't give a darn about that. His knees involuntarily caved in on him, sitting on the floor he didn't even try to get up. "Tell me what's really going on. Please."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""´Going on' is that I'm finally so emtired/em of you. Tired of your fucking temper, your fucking mess ups that seem to kill everyone in your way and your empty shell of feelings. It's just not worth the sex anymore so why aren't you leaving? Aren't you listening? I. Don´t. Want. You. Your father didn't, Alphonse doesn't and I don't, so emleave/em!"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"The sobs were growing more frantic as Ed gasped for air feeling the pain both mentally and psychically as every word hurt him no matter how much he tried to shut it out. "emStop it." /emWhy, why was Roy doing this? Had he done something wrong? But they'd been fine just last morning, why would the man suddenly give up on them? Why did he try to push Ed away when things were so great? Or had he just imagined that? What if he really was only… only a sex toy, something to fool around with even though he'd always thought it was something way deeper. He had to- He had to ask. Had to know./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Did it ever mean anything to you?" He must have imagined Roy's small wince because his face remained stone cold. "Did… Did I? …Or was I just another one to you?"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"The walls were caving in on him. His resolve that this wasn't for real was breaking, the hope that Roy wasn't for real slowly diminishing to nothing. Maybe it wasn't even an abrupt idea or forced on opinion. Maybe it had been faked all along. But it couldn't have…/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"The uncertainties were quickly crashing down, breaking him under the weight. Maybe this really wasn't a cruel trick or unacceptable prank. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Well considering I've been with plenty of women on the side-lines these two years, of course you'd be something special, right?" Roy spat out sarcastically./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" "…You said you loved me, again just yesterday," Ed whispered out, all of his hurt shining through. "Was that a lie? All of it?"br / !- [if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-br / !-[endif]-/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"He didn't have the will to fight anymore. It didn't matter what he wanted, it never had because it was a two ways street and he always ended up alone. Of course Roy would leave as well. Throw it all away because that was just what life seemed to do to every single thing that meant anything to Ed. Roy was his world. But it didn't matter, because obviously he'd never been more than a way to pass time, a pawn or sex-toy or anything, because it didn't matter anymore. He was emnothing/em to the other now, no matter how hard it was to accept./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB""Leave." The man's voice was so cold, so uncaring and he wasn't even spared a glance as once more a back was turned on him. Roy had given up on them. If there even existed a 'them' before. So the blonde finally did too. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"***/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"As soon as Roy was sure he'd heard the door slam closed he ran aside the counter and threw up in the sink. That was by far the hardest thing he'd ever had to do and it made his chest ache and stomach rumble. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"He felt so disgusted by his own words, by his actions. He had a hard time believing he'd said all that. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"But he had emhad/em to. There was no going around that. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"But maybe he was to hard… He'd seriously considered pulling Edwards deceased emmother /eminto it. If the teen would have stayed for much longer, maybe Roy would have done that. He knew that would have been far over the line of acceptable even though every word was for the teen's sake only. Ed could be just as stubborn as he was himself, and Roy knew that he had to take to the extreme to make him leave. Honestly he didn't even remember all that was said, he kind of went into auto drive as he found it was impossible to form the words otherwise. The only thing he knew would be imprinted in his mind forever was the look of hurt that crossed over his love's features, the denial and shock and sadness and disbelief, everything that he over the course of emtwo years/em had learned to read from golden orbs. He shouldn't have let it go on so long, shouldn't have led Ed on or made it so hard for himself. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"But Ed was strong. By far the strongest person Roy knew and he would get pass that. The blonde had taken his share of sneers, comments and mental hits before. He would get over it soon and move on. That was what Roy wished for the most; for Ed to get pass this quickly and start a new life. Maybe take a few years peacefully out with Alphonse and the Rockbells. Get a normal job and a family and a future. br / !- [if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-br / !-[endif]-/span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"A future Roy wouldn't be a part of./span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"You see, that was also his biggest fear. That Ed did move on, and that was it for them. Roy would continue to feel empty as he slept around with every woman he found, growing old alone, never again to hear from his beloved blonde. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"emspan lang="EN-GB"It was for the best, for the best/span/emspan lang="EN-GB". /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span lang="EN-GB"Only when he was about to wipe possibly remaining vomit from his mouth did Roy notice the tears that were leaking down his cheeks. He needed some alcohol if he were to get through the night. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" /p
p class="MsoNormal"strongspan lang="EN-GB"-Hugs MJ/span/strong/p