disclaimer:I still do NOT own harry potter or anything you recognize...

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CHAPTER 4

He opened his eyes but was over come with the brightness. He yelped in pain and put his hands over his eyes.

"Go get Cecelia, tell her he's awake at last" said a female voice he felt someone touch his arm. He yelped again and jumped off the bed. He quickly went over to the corner and brought his bony knees to his chest and started rocking back and forth his eyes were tightly shut as he continued to whimper. The nurse came in and ordered everyone out until she had calmed him down. She cautiously walked to his small frame. His green orbs were staring past her at the red headed girl and boy and a girl with bushy brown hair. As well as a shabby man with mouse brown hair with his arm around a pale woman with vivid pink hair.

when the healer got an arms length away he went into hysterics everything started to float around the room he didn't know what was happening but it was scaring him so he continued to scream, he stuck his hands in the mass of hair and closed his eyes tight. He drove his nails deeper into his scalp as images. Entered his aching head...

Knives sticking out of his chest and arms...a cold damp stone wall against his front making scratches on him as someone rammed into...whispers of whore and slut in his ear...

"no no no not real not real." he realized that he was laying in the fetal position and shaking uncontrollably on a white tile floor that was stained with blood he brought his shaking hand to his fore head and winced at the contact. He had apparently dug his nails to far in to his forehead. Harry sat up and looked around at the white room. He saw 5 people walking cautiously towards him. .

"No... Please no more please……"Harry said barley above a whisper for his voice was fading from screaming so much. He closed his eyes tightly and hoarsely whispered "it's not real not real..."to himself. As he slowly faded from the world of the conscious

He was falling in an abyss of darkness images and sounds swirling like a tornado around him...consuming him. The pain of reliving it was unbearable. The anger the sadness the disappointment the pain… He was forced to know to keep in his mind… the farther he fell the worse the memories got

After what felt like an eternity he hit the floor. Faces appeared above him quite unclear. They faded away like smoke just to be replaced by another ...and another till finally they stopped and it all went black...

"He's going to wake up soon he's been unconscious for nearly two weeks he's got to wake up soon right?"

"I don't know. He could and he may not no one knows but him."

at first Harry wasn't sure where he was only that he was in an extreme amount of pain but then everything that happened suddenly whipped through his mind on fast forward. Harry's eyes snapped open. He saw no less than 12 people surrounding his bed. He fought his way with the immense pain and finally succeeded to sit up. The room was quite dark as it was night time and there was only a little lamp light the room but the room was in mostly shadows making it so Harry couldn't see who was there.

...he saw them launching knives and curses at him and laughing at his screams...

Harry shook the memory away and attempted to listen to the woman questioning him

"...you realize who or where you are?" he didn't answer just continued to stare "well your name is Harry potter and you are in St. Mungo's ok?" he said nothing she lit the ceiling light and Harry saw who was there. Then he did something no one expected he started to laugh.

Harry's laugh wasn't airy like it used to be it didn't really sound like it was sane or even belonged to him. The laughter issuing from his mouth scared him slightly. Just as suddenly as the laughter started it stopped and was replaced by sobbing. Harry didn't understand he didn't like it. He was pissed and at first he didn't know why but then he remembered the night he escaped they had given up on him they had stopped searching for him. It hurt so bad. He wanted it all to stop. None of it felt real for some reason. Here he was sitting on a bed in the hospital crying and laughing and feeling betrayed and pissed off beyond all means. It was like he was in an alternate reality that was slowly killing him in every possible way.

Someone touched his arm he yelped and pulled it away. He immediately stopped crying and laughing. He looked to his right and saw the tearstained face of one of his supposed best friends Hermione granger.

"H…h…harry wh…wh...what's wr...wr...wrong?" she asked shakily he growled. And she stepped back

"Y...y...you ga…ga...ga...gave up .on m...m..m...me." he said hoarsely and barely above a whisper.

"Harry ... you were gone for over 3 months. I we never gave up hope entirely but it was very unlikely that you were alive you have to understand..." Harry shook his head no tears flowing down his face the healers asked the Weasleys Hermione Lupin and Tonks to leave.. Once in the hall Ginny fell to the floor in a sobbing heap. Hermione kneeled next to her. And tried to calm her finally Ginny said the thing that they were all thinking

"Harry's gone and we're in trouble."