It had been two weeks since he had told Dan. Two whole weeks without telling anyone else.
Today was the day he told everyone. His family, his friends, his fans.
He had considered his options long and hard, but in the end he knew what he had to do. They deserved the truth. They had all been there for him, all loved him and cared about him.
He wanted to return their kindness.
Saying it was a lot different than doing it though. He kept picking up the phone, then putting it down again. Drafting the tweet, only to delete it again.
Eventually he just gave up and put his head in his hands. His head was beginning to pound.
"Phil?" Dan called, poking his head through the door. "You ok?"
"Yeah, just overwhelmed is all," replied Phil, his voice heavy.
Dan came to sit next to him.
"You should call your mother first," he suggested.
Phil sighed, knowing Dan was right.
He picked up the phone and Dan stood up and retreated.
"I'll give you some privacy. I'll come back when you're finished."
Phil nodded and dialed his parents number, dreading the conversation he was about to have.
…
As Phil finally hung up the phone, he had to swallow the huge lump that had risen in his throat.
His mother had taken it horribly, as expected.
As he wrapped up the conversation, his mother had been in tears. She begged him to reconsider his decision about refusing treatment, then went on a one-sided conversation about how this could have happened to her youngest son. Her beautiful, kind, youngest son.
She told him she would come over right away but he told her not to. He said he would come visit her sometime soon, as soon as he got his bearings. And he meant it as well.
Dan, hearing the low hum of conversation die down, came back into the room.
Seeing Phil slumped over in his chair he came over and rubbed his back comfortingly.
"Are you going to call our friends now?"
Phil nodded tiredly.
Luckily, they didn't HAVE tons of close friends, so he wouldn't have to break the news to lots of heartbroken people.
Yet.
…
Phil had called everyone on his short contact list.
PJ, Chris, Louise, and Cat were some of the worst. They were the friends he was closest too.
Cat and Louise had burst into tears, where as PJ and Chris and got quiet and when they did finally speak, their voices had become tight and croaky, as if all the air was being squeezed from their lungs.
After that he proceeded to call everyone who he thought might care. Mostly fellow YouTubers, but some of his childhood friends too.
The absolute worst was his brother.
He knew Martyn wasn't going to take it well, and he was right. After all, they were close, still taking family vacations together and even the occasion friendly house-visit.
It was the first time since they were little that he had ever heard his brother cry.
It was heart-wrenching to listen too, and he couldn't help the small flood of tears that fled from his eyes.
They arranged to see each other soon.
…
Phil sighed heavily, already the immense emotional weight starting to become too much from him.
One person left.
Or rather, 3.7 MILLION people left.
When he picked up his phone again Dan looked at him, confused.
"Who's left?"
"The fan base."
Dan frowned.
"Are you sure you want to tell them?"
Phil smiled sadly, meeting Dan's eyes with a forlorn gaze.
"Of course. They've been here for me and acted nothing but supportive since the beginning. Not to mention they were the reason I got live my dream. In their shoes I would want to know. Plus, they're going to find out eventually and I'd rather it was from me then some tabloid."
Dan's incredulous face broke out into a wide smile.
"Phil Lester, you never cease to amaze me."
Phil smiled back, then turned his attention to his phone.
"Hey Dan, what do you think of this tweet?"
Dan peered over his shoulder to take a look.
"I don't know how to say this in a way that makes it sound better. I have terminal cancer. I only have a few weeks but Dan is taking amazing care of me. Thank you guys so much for supporting me and I hope that you can continue to find a smile in my old videos. Without you guys I never would have been able to live out my passion. I love you all. Thank you so much."
Dan nodded at Phil slightly, not trusting his voice to give the lump in his throat away.
Phil took a deep breath.
And with Dan's hand resting on his shoulder, he pressed send.
Within thirty second Phil's phone blew up. Shaking, ringing, and vibrating all at once.
"Here comes the shit storm," Dan mutters under his breath.
Phil opens up the phone with shaking fingers.
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO STOP CRYING
…Is this really happening?
I'm shaking so hard right now how could this happen
PHIL NO! YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MORE
We're all here for you Phil. Condolences to anyone who was lucky enough to get to know you personally.
Phil gulped. Suddenly, Dan's phone starting pinging too.
"Here it comes, they're tagging me in too."
Dan opens his phone to another mess of tweets flooding in.
Dan, please take good care of him
Please don't quit YouTube after… you know
I'm so sorry Dan. I know how much this must be hurting you
I want you to know we're all here for you
Emotions were already running high for the both of them. The sudden outpouring of love, support, and mutual feelings of hardship took away their barriers again and as they blinked, tears fell into their laps.
They didn't know what they had been expecting exactly, but definitely not that.
They spent the next two hours assuring, comforting, and thanking grieving, heart-broken fans.